I'm getting too old for this shit.

[Punished Magician]

Whatever choice you make, I wish you the best. You seem like a genuinely good person to me (albeit a bit edgy), and you've had to put up with a ton of shit for a long time. Sure, this site isn't exactly a paragon of ethics or anything, but it's done at least as much good as it has bad, a type of good that can't really be found anywhere else anymore because mods elsewhere will get uppity when you "harass" a genuine sack of shit. It's also taught a lot of us about the dangers of oversharing on the internet, a seriously bad habit that seems to be practically demanded of us by most big websites these days.
You've done more than your fair share, and if places like these stop existing one day, it'll only be on us for not picking up the slack.

I think taking a break would be your best option - not as some sort of longterm solution that will solve all of your problems, but just to help you get your thoughts in order, and figure out what to do next - the stress of being as involved with this place as you are probably isn't helping any of it.
Whatever you end up doing, good luck. Despite what the screeching hordes of banshees from the rest of the web have to say, you're a good person (even if a bit edgy), and you deserve to find happiness.

 

[heathercho]

Tbh, subscription fees to access most of the site would cut down on sightseers and probably bring it back to a smaller community. And more mods. More taxes, more cops.

A lot of weird people have joined in the last year.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Oh for christ's sake, buck up, kid. 30 isn't the end, it's the beginning. You're still incredibly young. Get a girlfriend. Go out. Have fun. Take consulting gigs. Do a legal name change if this shit drags you down. There's nothing holding you back from having everything you want but you.

Youth is wasted on the young, I swear.

- signed An Old

Yeah I was just going to say I got a "Life Begins at 30 you fucking sniveling faggot" talk IRL and that was useful.

The TLDR is that you never quit unless someone buys you the fuck out. And even after that happens you start something else. Life is about having your shit kicked in and getting back up.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

You’ve just outgrown this. It’s not even about age. Just from what you’ve written I can tell you have a bad, bad people-pleasing streak and that is what is causing you so much trouble in deciding what to do. I think you know what you really want to do and you should do what that is. Nothing lasts forever.

 

[sperginity]

I never expected KF to last forever, and it was pretty cool to be a part of everything. I learned a lot. I'll miss all you fags. I am happy for null to find a lady and start a family somewhere.

 

[itsoktobewhite]

Wasn’t it more fun before money became an issue?

 

[Quijibo69]

Looks like the world has turned to shit.... time to start a family.

 

[Opiophile]

Damn Jersh, I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and I understand. This site causes your life to be more difficult in many ways, and you get almost nothing for it. Maybe someday the payment processors won't be politically motivated.

While I'll be very sad if the site closes, or morphs into some version of tbe Something Awful forums, I understand why you'd want to be rid of it. I have gotten used to reading this site daily, and it's provided me with a lot of entertainment. As gay as it is to say, thanks Jersh.

 

[GethN7]

You’ve just outgrown this. It’s not even about age. Just from what you’ve written I can tell you have a bad, bad people-pleasing streak and that is what is causing you so much trouble in deciding what to do. I think you know what you really want to do and you should do what that is. Nothing lasts forever.

Couldn't agree more. Sure, some speds who hate you will be thrilled this place went down, and some people will rage they don't have this place to sperg anymore, but screw'em both, in the end it's your sanity I'd rather see continue than keeping this insane asylum going.

 

[Daisymae]

This was a really good read, but I don't think its a sign that @Null will shut down the forum. It does sort of signal to me that he does now realize how most of his decisions over the past 4 years have been detrimental to a forum that many people have given money and even worked on to make better. This site is like a game of tug-of-war, where as far as some users will go to contribute by deep-diving for content, giving their money, etc., on the other side @Null plops his ass down to anchor the rope while a gaggle people mad about politics, pedophiles and trannies pull on his side.

I do have to say I find it interesting that politics and low-level internet celebrities are generally regarded as the main cancers on this site, yet, they are the sources of the most growth. They really don't contribute much and basically shit in the pool whenever they leave their small, cordoned off areas. Regardless, the changes to site culture have been both remarkable and negative, yet no one, including staff can do anything at all about it, lest the guy who openly admits that he has hardly checked the forum in years but yet runs it will throw a temper tantrum. I have seen him say that "I want staff who will challenge me", but at the end of the day it turns into dealing with a frustrated dude who wants what he wants, and it seems difficult for them to pick a hill to die on.

Another thing, I have to say that i really did love what Kiwi Farms was back when it was a site focused on the discussion of weird people instead of an incubator for the thoughts of political fringe weirdos like it is today. There was always a new oddball to laugh at for being a total dumbass and our focus was on gathering information on them so that we could laugh.

This has changed drastically over time, as the focus went from being happy and laughing at doofuses, to having the bizarre "virtuous crusades" against people we don't like. "zoosadists"? We gotta have threads on this. "P A E D O P H I L E S ?" What could go wrong?

Basically we maxed out on fun and humorous weird shit, and rather than managing the board as a niche focused on comedy, the next logical step for growth was to invite angry little shits onto the board that brought content and conversation that was dry, boring and mad.

Again @Null, you championed this shift and even said that it was necessary for the board to accept these things as part of its agenda. So basically what I am trying to say here is that you really haven't been a good steward to the community, and your decisions have basically led to the point where we are at now.

You lament that the site grew to an "empire" and that it includes several "communities". But at the same time, it wasn't really by accident that the site got to the point it is at today. When users and even staff said "this isn't a good idea" you would be an obstinate ass to them and the adults in the room saw that you weren't willing to listen to reason. Hence, they caretook the community on one side of the body as you mainlined more cancer into the other.

So my only logical conclusion is that you shut it down. You aren't good for this community, and this community isn't good for you. Sure, you're getting older and frankly, you should have a job, business, some sort of somewhat dependable income, but time has long since passed for you to move on. If you can make a few bucks selling the site, then more power to you. Most the pages on this site have been archived, as far as i know, but torrenting the site would be a cool thing to do. If not, its not the end of the world, go do you and something else will pop up.

 

[Lackadaisy]

I agree that the site's become less fun over the years. There used to be this really fun and carefree atmosphere. Now it seems like there's so many threads with so many interconnections and so much real world consequences talk that I really just get sad reading through most of it.

I liked it when funny things would happen to stupid people. My favorite thread that got me to sign up was one of the GoldenKnight ones where Dynastia pretended to be a girl and sent littlebiscuits' feet pics to him. That was just fun, and it doesn't really fit into current site culture. People take dumb internet people too seriously. I've taken it too seriously.

Do what you need to. This site has become my community and for that I thank you.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Focus on the women's areas of the site. Keep it up but shut down Internet Famous and A&H if those aren't staying in the spirit of the site.

I made a thread a couple years ago that's gotten to 700+ pages, and the people in there love this site and the ability to mock its horrorcow. Trying to bring the site to focus on the eccentric tards it became known for would be a welcome change.

 

[Freya]

I don't know what you mean by "original spirit".

the site has evolved and exploded in unprecedented ways. it's not lesser than what it was in 2013.

it has done a big part in the free speech battle on the internet and has documented forever many things that would have been lost or hard to find otherwise. trump having a tantrum on twitter is just that.

 

[RollingRock]

So is the n word officially illegal now or what

 

[chainer]

I admire your way of seeing and saying things. Kiwifarms is the best forum on the internet; take a long break and delegate a lot more if at all possible. I also respect and appreciate you for putting your face and neck out there for everyone to direct their anger at in regards to this place existing. Obviously it is wearing thin.

Go start a family and get a dog. I have a 5 month old baby boy and a one year old German Shephard, and a wife with the sort of arrangement that you are looking for and it’s really great. She doesn’t even get embarrassed when I wear my Kiwifarms hoodie out in public. Go do it my man.

 

[A single cheeto]

Like others have said: You do what you think is best for you. I'd be sad if this site shut down, but I think I'd remember it fondly. Your health and happiness comes first.

 

[BarberFerdinand]

It would be sad to see the site go down, but nobody could rightfully blame you for it if you did decide to call it quits. Over the years you've repeatedly referred to yourself as a crazy person, and considering what you've gone through to keep the site up it would be hard to disagree with that analysis. There's nothing wrong with choosing to become sane and lead a happy and fulfilling life.

 

[Sheriff of CWCville]

Writing things out like this is a really good place to start in tackling what you’re dealing with. I can see why you’d feel the way you do and it’s really unfortunate. I appreciate the work you’ve put in to keep this site running and I hope whatever path you end up taking leads you to happiness

 

[Thumb Butler]

It's better to let the site go down with grace before it turns into present day Something Awful, or a shadow of its former self. Whatever you do, don't turn into Lowtax.

 

[Dededon't]

Unfortunately, by the time I joined, the site was already on the sour path, so I can't really speak of the better days, but this has to be the best forum community I've been a part of in my 20+ years on the internet. Very few places these day have the level-headed userbase and engrossing threads that this place has. It serves as an escape from the madness contained elsewhere on the web. I will miss this place dearly if you decide to close up shop, Null, but you should do what you feel like doing.