I'm getting too old for this shit.

[Box Tie]

This site isn't worth your life, literally or figuratively. I hope that whatever you decide to do involves salvaging at least a portion of the site but if you won't or can't, at least i'll get a lot more work done when I stop concerning myself with fat whores halfway across the world.

In either case, thank you for the site.

 

[Serin Spaghetti]

Always leave it to the banking minorities to shut down the huwite man. Na, but seriously, with how the internet is today it must be hard on you but sometimes ya just gatta bow out. I say you help yourself, before you help anybody else. Hit the gym or workout at home become the perfect hooman and woo a wamen and knock her up.

If this site went down I'd feel a little sad. I always liked reading post on The Farms to grind some BAT and reading all these post about these degenerates made me want to better myself as a person and workout. Thx null.

 

[Dollars2010]

Thank goodness I am still banned.

 

[MrTroll]

I, and I think lots of other people, hit a similar existential crisis at 30. That's kinda the time in life when it really dawns on you that your youthful dreams just aren't happening, and the thought you had that once you were an adult your shit would come together was wishful thinking. My personal experience on the matter is that there's no real solution aside from sitting down and reassessing your current situation without any rose-tinted glasses, and making new plans for how to achieve the things you want. If the Farms are standing in the way of your goals in life, then you need to find a way to make them stop being an impediment, or ditch them. Much as I would hate to see them go, I couldn't hold it against you for prioritizing your own life over an Internet forum.

The important thing to remember when having an existential crisis is, life actually doesn't matter at all because you die and rot and that's the whole ball game and nobody is gonna give a shit about your career or 'accomplishments' or money when you're in the ground and your parasitic children or otherwise designated heirs have picked your estate clean and spent all your hard-earned shekels like it's nothing (because it is).

 

[John Furrman]

You've done so much for me personally without having even knowing who I am. Just being who you are opened doors for other people. Whatever you decide, I support you, josh.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

lol @ thinking it would be easier to start a family when you got older.

Just fuck a chick. Its not that hard. And if you don't waste the next decade standing around with your dick in your hand, you might just make a child or two that doesn't end up autistic.

 

[Jersey Devil]

The more I read of this thread, the more I hope that it's some deep false-flag to mass halal users who look up to null as a daddy/hero figure.

Shit like this--

I feel alone in my view of the world and you are the only one who shares it. What draws me here is your ideology and sensibilities, I've never found a person who I can consistently agree or at the least understand the motives of as you. It's gay, but I understand how you've gotten to this point, and I respect everything you have done. You're one of the few who'll take a stand for what you believe in. All I ask is you not fall into complacency, but something tells me you wont.

--is some of the gayest, most autistic shit I've ever seen. At some point, you have to take a step back and realize that your idol is a fat Ukrainian expat hosting the website equivalent of middle-aged housewives talking about the ugly bitch who moved in down the block.

(the ugly bitch is @Bryan Dunn btw)

 

[gobbogobb]

Have you considered Scientology? The Church can help in trying times like these.

 

[Pumpkin Girl IRL]

I don’t think the people harassing you are ever going away. They’ll stalk and harass your employers until the day they die.

Heh

 

[DavidFerrie]

Good post, @Null. I've been a member here since June 2013, and have observed everything you've described.

As one of the oldest people on KF -- I could easily be your Dad, chronologically -- one of the attractions of the site has been seeing and interacting with the under-35 cohort, and realizing that not all of them are humorless Woke enablers of IdPol-driven idiocy and immaturity. I once said that virtually every /cow/ who's ever ended up being lambasted on here richly deserved public opprobrium for showing their asses online, and then doubling down on their narcissistic stupidity as soon as they got criticized or teased. But as you said, the forum evolved into something far less creative and enjoyable since the halcyon 2013-2016 period, and I don't see any changes for the better on the horizon.

Part of the problem is that there will never be another Chris-Chan -- the original raison d'etre of KF. Mx. Sonichu is almost like a Platonic ideal of a /lolcow/, and his utterly hilarious antics in the early days can never be replicated online now, where as you correctly point out, people are far more self-conscious and new-media savvy, and professional Internet personalities can use haters and trolls to strengthen their "brands". We got spoiled with such a uniquely bizarre and entertaining character from the outset, and nobody in his wake has gotten within a mile of Chris-Chan's utterly clueless and perpetually-insane behavior online and IRL. It brings to mind the old saying, "One of the worst things that can happen to you is to win a lot of money the first time you gamble".

Thanks for the hard, headache-inducing work you've put in here. May you have success, peace, and happiness from this day forward, whatever path you pursue.

 

[The Pink Panther]

Honestly this site has gone to complete shit. It's attracted the most annoying and retarded American politics has to offer and just isn't fun anymore.

go back to Reddit you fucktard

 

[Ishmael]

 

[Nobunaga]

The more I read of this thread, the more I hope that it's some deep false-flag to mass halal users who look up to null as a daddy/hero figure.

Shit like this--

--is some of the gayest, most autistic shit I've ever seen. At some point, you have to take a step back and realize that your idol is a fat Ukrainian expat hosting the website equivalent of middle-aged housewives talking about the ugly bitch who moved in down the block.

(the ugly bitch is @Bryan Dunn btw)

If you think this is gay then dont enter the kiwi farms chat

 

[Jersey Devil]

If you think this is gay then dont enter the kiwi farms chat

Don't need to, anyone actively seeking to socialize with other Farmers beyond replying in a thread is an irredeemable sperg

 

[Chongqing]

I'm someone who just discovered this site in November after watching a documentary on Terry A. Davis. Since then, I've read threads religiously.

I've never had more fun reading anything in my entire life. I've had so many laughs, and its been during a lockdown when I've been isolated.

I wish Null could imagine the wonder and amazement of someone discovering this site for the first time. I feel like the era of the lolcow isn't dead; in fact, it may just be beginning. I think it's a matter of perspective.

Speaking of perspective, someone mentioned on this thread yesterday that Josh may be prescribed the drug Adderall. If this is the case, I would point to this as the beginning and end to all of his problems, bad feelings and angst. If Adderall is in the equation, his whole essay makes perfect sense. Adderall will do this to you; it'll push you until you think that everything in your life is completely wrong and the things you like aren't likable. Once someone quits this drug, most of those bad feelings dissipate fairly quickly.

Best of luck, @Null. It seems like you're in pain and I hope everything goes well.

 

[teriyakiburns]

It was you and @AnOminous that made me realise I'd misunderstood what 230 actually did. So... whatever comfort that brings, I guess?

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

D'awww. I also found fulfillment in family in a way I would never have believed possible when I was younger. I'm glad you're settling in toward that. I think it shows an improvement in self-concept that I'm honestly refreshed by seeing.

If you decide this place isn't worth the impact it's having on you, I'll sure as hell miss it. But I'll wish you well. You're not our slave and you're not a martyr, or at least, you don't have to be. Go make a couple of babies and make sure to change some of the diapers and do some of the dishes while you're at it.

 

[Robert James]

The only thing I can add is that it makes sense as to why this site burnt you out, it definitely evolved into something greater than just a lolcow forum. Kiwi Farms is one of the last places people can go to talk freely about anything 4 chan is 25% journos, 50% feds, 8 chan is filled with people too edgy for four chan and will be like it's predecessor in a year if not less, Redit is in a purity spiral as we speak, Facebook and twitter are way too dangerous to show your power level on and are still censored. 9-chan is a good alternative but it will still be linked to you so you'll be facing the same problems you currently are if all the political spergs, me included, move to it.

The Farms was one of the few places to get actual information and videos for the george floyd riots and stood up as a beacon of free speech. Plenty of people use the farms for information and you can pick up E-celebs using farms terminology. I don't think you should abandon the farms but the reality is it's only a matter of time before it gets removed from the internet. Censorship won't stop until people stand up and considering the man we elected to stop this bull shit is just monitoring things we're SOL.

As for trump destroying 230 I know my opinion as well as others was that it's only a matter of time before wrong think gets axed from the internet so might as well burn it all down. It wasn't so much about using an anime avatar to call Obama a nig nog but kind of an acceptance that this site will eventually be banned so we might as well take the rest of the internet with us. Most of us politispergs are refugees and we got to see sites we loved get pozed before our eyes so we're kinda jaded at the prospect of a free speech site being allowed to exist. It's less throwing 230 out to own the libs and more about throwing out 230 for M.A.D.

As for solutions here are some relatively exceptional suggestions.

1. Take a break maybe a month or two off and come back see how you feel.
2. Hang out in some of the non political boards, lord knows everyone is vying for your attention, see this thread.
3. remove A&H and all political threads, TDS, TES, ETC keep a permanent link to ninechan on the website with text like "Sperg about politics here", the only thing I ask is you leave TDS and TES till a week after the election.
4. Set up another charity drive to get money stored up, maybe some more shirts/stickers.
5. Play more stupid games on stream, the life is strange playthroughs were fun.
6. Start a love quest with the female kiwis on this site, who better to marry than someone who understands your autism. (kind of a joke but you know, why not try.)
7. If you have to shut the farms down do it, it will be a shame we'll be sad but in all honesty it's only a matter of time before some country, probably the U.S., does it and we all know we're here on borrowed time.

 

[NimertiS]

I understand you Null, I was in the same position like you, things are tough in the moment. Loneliness consume us. So much alienation. But, you'll eventually find meaning in life and I wish you to start your own family.

 

[Adiemus]

I've only been here a few years, and know little to nothing about the site other than joining in on a few threads here and there. But, I do know that when you've put a lot of time and effort into something and slowly watch it turn into a cesspool or just something wholly different from what you imagined, it's hard to see. It's hard to bother with it, to feel motivated, to really want to do anything about it.

What's worse is when you've hit a certain age and realize, "I've done nothing with my life", and have that yearning to actually do something. I don't think of you as turning your back on this site, for what little I know of you. Wanting to start a family is something natural, I think, when you hit a certain age and realize many things. The internet is a swampland of opinions, criticism, racism, politics... anything, and everything. And that's the problem. There are genuinely good things on the internet, but for the most part, it's just been turned into a giant slap fight between opinions and beliefs.

You should do what makes you happy, and if that's leaving a site you've made and worked on for years that has slowly drained your joy, then you should do that. Be selfish! Take care of yourself! That's the most important thing, I think, is to be happy, even in these awful times. No website is worth suffering for...

Sorry for all that. I just think you should do what makes you happy. Please, whatever happens, take care and don't worry; everything will be okay, eventually.

Thank you for this site; I learned a great deal from it.