J.K. Rowling needs to stop messing with Harry Potter - A general STFU J.K. Rowling MegaThread <3

[A Gay Retard]

Dumbledore didn't die a gay virgin, maybe he got into the Britbong equivalent of NAMBLA and sodomized Harry all the times they were alone in his office.

The majority are but a lot of them aren't because they came over later and there were no natives to marry and they were rich enough not to marry poor people (who are mixed race or black) or they're like Tom Brady's supermodel wife and are literally Euro immigrants.

That actress can't be any more than 1/16 non-white and IIRC anything more than 3/4 white or so is straight up white in Brazil.

This is the problem with people conflating ethnicity and nationality for diversity's sake. It is ironically pretty culturally insensitive.

Null has said that it's just to keep people from quoting entire posts that are huge blocks of text.

You mean like this?

I finally watched the new movie. The whole movie, bc I started watching and I got bored.

Well, it's an absolute clusterfuck of nothing, holy shit... everything happens at the end and then, really nothing does. Jo had at least two full books to build the Wizarding world, something that was explored in the first movie, and the next ones were adding details. In this franchise, it's like every movie explores a whole big ass universe with new plots and rules.

And everything is so irrelevant and inconsequential that I don't even remember what happened during the previous movie, but it really doesn't matter because it's not important in this one.

The most obvious example of how badly this movie has been crafted is that Newt Scamander is a secondary character in the story. Yet, he's pushed as the leading role. If you remove Newt, the plot doesn't really change. You can make Dumbledore being the one who knows about animals (and it wouldn't be odd for Dumbledore) and it'd be the same. You know who's more important and memorable in the whole three movies? The muggle.

There is not a leading lady in the movies. They're just plots. Even Tina, who's meant to be Newt's love interest was basically given a cameo. Tina's sister, Queenie, who was a main character in the first movie, now's there to say "yes", "no", and has only a handful of lines. And she dresses now in black because she's switched to the daaaaark siiiide, except at the end she leaves it and it's all forgotten. I mean, she joined the Nazis and now we all are fine with it, no consequences for her actions. We know that Tina eventually marries Newt, and so far, we just have to assume they fell in love between movies. I don't know if she's this irrelevant because of the actress having other filming commitments or they just don't know what to do with her character. Both characters were cute in the first movie, and now it's such a waste.

The deal with gay Dumbledore is just a couple of scenes. If you remove them, you can imply that he and GG were simple good friends and any kind of love between them was brotherly or pure friendship. They made obvious that GG had no feelings for DD, so it was all unrequited and DD is probably dying a gay virgin.

The plot with the other brother is solved too quickly and too easy. It wasn't even a red herring or anything. It's more like they didn't know what to do with Ezra Miller after they were done with his character in movie 1 and they just thought of something quick. For the curious: he's not another brother, he's the bastard child of Dumbledore's brother, Aberthford, the goat fucker.

The "plot", for the curious:

Spoiler

-The Wizards are having elections for their international leader and there are two or three candidates for them to vote or getting chosen through some magical animal that can tell who's pure of heart and the real leader.
-Newt's trying to find this animal when GG's men find it too. It's a mom and they kill her, taking her baby, except she got twins and Newt took the other one to get safe.
-The Muggle is sad because Queenie is become a Wizard nazi and when he's trying to move on, a witch shows up to tell him they need him too. Him and other characters get together to meet Dumbledore. We'll call them, the Fellowship of the Autism. Who they are is really not important. If there is a new movie, they might not even show up.
-Ezra is around and being emo about his heritage. Queenie is also around trying to be friendly with him, but doesn't work.
-Grindelwald gets the magical animal that his henchmen got and murders it.
(at this point I got bored already and very confused, so bear with me...)
-The Fellowship are told that Grindelwald can see what's gonna happen, so their plan is to be unpredictable to fool him. Each of them are given a mission and Muggle is given a wand too. Their missions are very meh, so don't bother. The only one that's important is that Newt's assistant takes Newt's magical bag to get replicated many times, one for each of the members of the FotA.
(at this point I got bored already and very confused, so bear with me...)
-A lot of stuff that isn't remotely relevant for the plot happens here, even Muggle gets accused of trying to murder Grindelwald and Newt and his brother have to walk like crabs...
-We're supposed to understand GG infiltrated the German Ministry and he gets a pardon for his crimes. He walks free and many people cheer for him. The German Minister says that there is no harm on him trying to run as their main leader, so he lets him run because people won't vote for him. (see, don't ask me if they're supposed to be voted or chosen by the magical creature, because I ddidn't get that part and I'm not watching that again.)
-Ezra tries to kill Dumbledore and he gets told he's not their brother but Aberthford's son. DD then tells Aberthford (Or Newt, I think? Can't remember) that Ezra is dying because he's an Obscurus and the magic he never developed as a child is poisoning him.
-The FotA take each a replicated bag and go to where the election is taking place. Muggle finds Queenie and tells her everything will be fine, that he hasn't stopped loving her. Honestly, the best part of the movie for me. He's just such a great character.
-GG takes the magical thing he killed (after he reanimated it), and says it can be the one choosing the leader. It of course chooses him. Once he's proclaimed, he says "hahaha, fuck muggles!" and curses Muggle with the cruciatus in front of Queenie, who was totally shocked...wahmen, ammirite?
-The other decent wizards fight him and Newt's assistant shows up with the real bag, containing the real living Magical thingy creature who chooses Dumbledore, to his horror. Grindelwald's own creature dies. He tries to kill Ezra, but the Dumbledores protect him. Then OG Dumbledore and him fight each other, but GG escapes. Dumbledore promises he's gonna catch him next time!
-Aberthford takes Ezra home and the FotA meet again in NY for Queenie and Muggle's wedding. Tina shows up and Newt's happy she's there. Dumbledore tells this is important because it's the first time a witch marries a muggle. Then he leaves.

Fin.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

An interesting video on JK Rowing vs trans activist.

 

[Juan's Sombrero]

Dumbledore didn't die a gay virgin, maybe he got into the Britbong equivalent of NAMBLA and sodomized Harry all the times they were alone in his office.

The majority are but a lot of them aren't because they came over later and there were no natives to marry and they were rich enough not to marry poor people (who are mixed race or black) or they're like Tom Brady's supermodel wife and are literally Euro immigrants.

That actress can't be any more than 1/16 non-white and IIRC anything more than 3/4 white or so is straight up white in Brazil.

Aren't they called mulatto?

 

[I'mma real anime gurl]

Dumbledore didn't die a gay virgin, maybe he got into the Britbong equivalent of NAMBLA and sodomized Harry all the times they were alone in his office.

Nah, he fucks the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructors,

 

[thegooddoctor]

oh ffs.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

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oh ffs.

I thought they announced this a year or two ago. Maybe I'm wrong. Regardless I don't have high hopes for another Harry Potter movie or television series. Fantastic Beasts flopped and I'm not interested in the games. Sure it would be interesting to check out the first episode and compare it with the original movie. But I would do better watching the movie instead.

 

[ZehnBoat]

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oh ffs.

so are we supposed to watch this because it will obviously be woke
or are we supposed to avoid it cuz tranny genocide

 

[Adamska]

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oh ffs.

Yeah not interested besides seeing how the current amoebas gurgling on the type writer finds a way to fuck up how TV shows work. Oh that and demented men who act like violent apes screeching and threatening the execs. That's I guess kind of funny.

 

[Optimus Prime]

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oh ffs.

Not surprised.

In addition to trying to recapture the bottled lightning of the original run and movies, I suspect a big push of this is actually to continue rebranding the entire franchise as 'The Wizarding World' since at this point between the original books, Fantastic Beasts, and now Hogwarts Legacy, it's not really about Harry Potter anymore.

That said...it's funny they say seven books. Into the Memory Hole with Cursed Child, eh? I get it's not technically a book, but it pretty much was in spirit.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

If it's done right, I could maybe watch it.

The movies were not bad, but they were terribly lacking and lost many important details of the books.

But yes, it will be woke and I wouldn't be surprised if they make Harry a paki.

 

[Alouatta Simia Belzebul]

I think the Dumbledore thing was pre-planned but it was just supposed to be a super dramatic reveal (romance! betrayal! a heel-face turn!) that mirrored him with Snape rather than a super well-thought out example of gay representation. Childhood friendship to unrequited romance, turns to the dark side, but this time it's not because he's spurned but because the childhood friend is the dark lord! dun dun dun! and of course that means it would be a gay romance, because while she did create an Umbridge or a Bellatrix I don't see JKR creating a female ultimate hitler, the original dark dictator who paved the way for Voldemort.

Tina wasn't really in the second film because her actress has extensively bashed JKR over trans rights on twitter or in interviews, maybe both. She was originally going to be a much bigger part of it, I think between having to cut down her part and replace Depp they didn't have any real ideas for the movie left, but JKR didn't want to move on from the 'canon' she'd already decided.

I'm glad the cursed child has been memoryholed and would like the fantastic beasts to be memoryholed too. I don't understand why JKR loses the plot when it comes to anything second gen, or why she ignores / disallows anything marauders when that's what the fandom most often asks for. There's a fan theory that she based 70s bully james on her abusive ex, I think, but it's probably nothing. Lockhart is also based on a real life narcissist she's met who apparently wouldn't ever realise the character was based on him, so it could be him, instead. Or both.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

There's a fan theory that she based 70s bully james on her abusive ex, I think, but it's probably nothing.

I doubt that because James became later a good person and a good husband and father.

I think the only reason she won't do Marauders is because it's too close to Harry Potter era. Also, all she'd have is their time during the first war because I doubt she would want to write about them in school again.

 

[Alouatta Simia Belzebul]

I doubt that because James became later a good person and a good husband and father.

I think the only reason she won't do Marauders is because it's too close to Harry Potter era. Also, all she'd have is their time during the first war because I doubt she would want to write about them in school again.

Fair point about the marauders - I think having already established a castle that constantly changes it could be made interesting for the reader, but it probably would be less exciting to write about.

It could still be a sort of wish-fulfilment arc of how she wishes things could have gone between them in Lily and James - it wouldn't be the first time a woman had a baby thinking it will transform a man into a stand-up husband and father, so maybe she wrote a version where that did happen. Or, maybe it was based on the experience she would have imagined her daughter having, learning that the father she looked up to was previously abusive to others.

Either way, I think James relates to her personal history / ideal of a guy in some way because it's very similar to what she's doing in the Cormoran Strike books. She's described Robin Ellacot as her younger self. Robin ditches the outwardly nice & successful selfish guy (definitely her ex-husband) in favour of the outwardly slovenly listless internal heart of gold cormoran, but cormoran has still to become purposeful through the narrative, the same way James did. They also have a sort of rejecting-and-being-rejected by their rich & famous (/pureblood) families because of their Principles backstory going on.

They also both have black hair, pale skin, and green eyes? (cormoran's actor does), which resembles both her ex and her husband (and Eric Bloom), but she's explicitly said that her husband was the inspiration for the pompous Percy (and a younger version of herself as Percy's girlfriend, Penelope).

 

[Watcher]

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oh ffs.

I think this has potential as some books could get legitimately better adaptations if they have a proper length given to them. Like they could actually show the Quidditch World Cup in Book 4 or Saint Mungos in Book 5. However it's likely they will still cheapen out on things and likely it'll suffer from modern day storytelling flaws that the OG films didn't have to deal with.

I also suspect they won't cast child actors and will likely have the cast begin the story as teenagers which'll make the story less relatable to children. Since it won't be designed for children it'll be designed for adults who grew up with the OG films.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

They also both have black hair, pale skin, and green eyes? (cormoran's actor does), which resembles both her ex and her husband (and Eric Bloom), but she's explicitly said that her husband was the inspiration for the pompous Percy (and a younger version of herself as Percy's girlfriend, Penelope).

Percy was an ass, but he turned out fine, so the inspiration it's not 100%, only bits of the guy.

I think this has potential as some books could get legitimately better adaptations if they have a proper length given to them. Like they could actually show the Quidditch World Cup in Book 4 or Saint Mungos in Book 5.

They forgot (or ignored in purpose, which makes it worse) the important parts of Voldemort's origin. First, the scene of Ron acting like a fool after he accidentally drank that love potion wasn't there just for the lulz, it was there to show us how Tom Riddle was conceived, how his mother fooled Riddle and raped him, and how Voldemort is the product of such a hideous magic.

The only bit they did include was a scene when he was young and was informed he was a wizard. They showed him as weird, but that kid was already evil. He was responsible for someone's death even as a Hogwarts student.

 

[Alouatta Simia Belzebul]

Agree - I don't think Percy was a negative portrayal (or was affectionately done, at least) of her husband, but I think it's so different that he wouldn't also be the inspiration for the other characters.

 

[Protistology]

I doubt that because James became later a good person and a good husband and father.

Do you not understand the entire appeal of bad boys? It's all about taming them.

 

[Watcher]

Percy was an ass, but he turned out fine, so the inspiration it's not 100%, only bits of the guy.


They forgot (or ignored in purpose, which makes it worse) the important parts of Voldemort's origin. First, the scene of Ron acting like a fool after he accidentally drank that love potion wasn't there just for the lulz, it was there to show us how Tom Riddle was conceived, how his mother fooled Riddle and raped him, and how Voldemort is the product of such a hideous magic.

The only bit they did include was a scene when he was young and was informed he was a wizard. They showed him as weird, but that kid was already evil. He was responsible for someone's death even as a Hogwarts student.

They almost didn't include Kreacher in movie 3 because he was a minor character in the books released up until that point. Rowling had to tell them to include him because he actually becomes important in book 5 (since he betrays Sirius by tricking Harry into going to the Department of Mysteries) and in book 7 where he plays an important role in identifying the locket from book 6.

To be fair to the creators of these films condensing the gigantic cast of characters and keeping the films under budget was a priority. A character like Peeves for example would cost a lot in CGI budget and he was ultimately a character that doesn't impact the plot that much. I can see why they made the decisions they did for that reason which is why I think an ongoing TV show has a lot of potential. But I still see them making Hermione a Mary Sue and adding in a token transgender character.

 

[Der weiße Teufel]

But I still see them making Hermione a Mary Sue and adding in a token transgender character.

I already saw a retarded article about "changes that should be made" and it's so obvious that there is no point in adding a trans character because you can NEVER satisfy these people. Just see what they said about the Sirona tranny in Hogwarts Legacy. The smartest thing would be to not even bother, they will not be happy either way. So what good would that tranny character do?
They surely will do a bunch of unnecessary race swaps, even though the original already had plenty of black characters, but they are all not important enough. I don't think it's allowed anymore to have three white main characters, especially if two are also male. And straight.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

They almost didn't include Kreacher in movie 3 because he was a minor character in the books released up until that point. Rowling had to tell them to include him because he actually becomes important in book 5 (since he betrays Sirius by tricking Harry into going to the Department of Mysteries) and in book 7 where he plays an important role in identifying the locket from book 6.

Kreacher wasn't in book 3. It's movie 5 they didn't want to include him in, even knowing that he betrayed Sirius. IICR, Kreacher takes no part on it and it's never mentioned how he went to Bellatrix either in the movies, so when the original script was approved, Kreacher was already cut. They just added some random scenes.

They didn't show the mirror Sirius gave Harry either, which was a point in book 7.

Kreacher and the elves are a more important subplot people would think of. As stupid as SPEW sounds in book 4, and as annoying Hermione is, it serves to prove how blindly loyal they can be and how some people do care for their elves and how starved of love they are. All Sirius had to do was treat Kreacher better, something Regulus not only did, but when he realised Voldemort was going to kill him, he decided to leave. I'd have to check my books, but I think Sirius joking about how -talking about Regulus- Death Eaters just can't handle Voldemort their resignation letter happened in the same scene when he's frustrated by Kreacher.