Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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cheese gud meat gud oil puddles gud

The square USDA pizza from when I was in grade school looks like fucking haute cuisine compared to this piece of shit.

What a goddamn waste of food.

 

[souschef]

Everything Jack has done can be credited to artificial intelligence.

Nah, no artificial intelligence to be seen, only authentic stupidity

He's literally dying. It's fluid building up in his lungs. Eventually his body won't be able to cope with it any more and if it's not a stroke, he'll drown in his own edema.

I take he's got some macho bullshit going on about seeing a doctor and living a healthier lifestyle? Of course, eating cheese topped with cheese and a "carnivore" diet won't help any. People that actually study gastronomy arts learn the importance of a balanced diet. I'm not really getting what he wants with that, he's trying to go keto? His body will shut down before he reaches ketosis that's for sure

 

[Crispy Jakes]

The square USDA pizza from when I was in grade school looks like fucking haute cuisine compared to this piece of shit.

What a goddamn waste of food.

Coincidentally Tasting History (who is a competent home cook) did a video on that recently. Highly recommend his channel as a palate cleanser after a Jack Attack.

Looks leagues better. Not least because he didn't drown it in shreddy cheddy (cheap cheddar is god awful for pizza precisely because it doesn't melt, it just regresses into pools of orange fat.

 

[AnOminous]

Everything Jack has done can be credited to artificial intelligence.

I beg to differ. Everything Jack has done can be credited to natural stupidity.

Coincidentally Tasting History (who is a competent home cook) did a video on that recently. Highly recommend his channel as a palate cleanser after a Jack Attack.

I was glad Max confirmed my sentimental fondness for this objectively awful pizza. If you ever ate high school cafeteria food in that era, those weird rectangular pizza slices were the highlight in an otherwise abysmal diet.

 

[Crispy Jakes]

I beg to differ. Everything Jack has done can be credited to natural stupidity.

You've got to give at least a little credit to the multiple strokes killing parts of his brain.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

That abomination came out looking like a poorly rendered videogame pizza, conceptualized by someone who has never seen a pizza in person.

I also enjoyed Hammy scraping the cheese slop out of the processor with a table knife while dressed in a trashy t shirt... In their fancy new sTuDiO kitchen.

There is no way they don't own a rubber spatula, right?

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

There is no way they don't own a rubber spatula, right?

Reminds me of this old newspaper article. The memories keep flooding back to me because of this asshole.

Lazy food dude scores huge on YouTube

BUENA PARK – He paid 99 cents for his spatula at the Dollar Tree. He has trouble pronouncing the French cooking term mise en place (“mise en plus?”). And the very notion of using …

www.ocregister.com

 

[souschef]

Reminds me of this old newspaper article. The memories keep flooding back to me because of this asshole.

Lazy food dude scores huge on YouTube

BUENA PARK – He paid 99 cents for his spatula at the Dollar Tree. He has trouble pronouncing the French cooking term mise en place (“mise en plus?”). And the very notion of using …

www.ocregister.com

“I altered it a little bit,” he says. “I made it a little bit lazier.”

Wearing a baseball cap backward and an apron, he zooms in on the ingredients: Cans of Campbell’s cream of mushroom and cream of chicken soups, rolls of Pillsbury dough and bags of frozen peas and carrots.

Switching the camera off, he says that sometimes viewers ask why he doesn’t use more fresh produce.

“Fresh? Really? That’s a half-hour more I could be playing video games.”

Scalfani turns the camera back on and dumps a bowl of cubed chicken into a hot pan of oil. But it’s too hot and smoke ensues.

“Do everything I didn’t do right now,” he tells viewers.

Sums him up perfectly

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Reminds me of this old newspaper article. The memories keep flooding back to me because of this asshole.

Lazy food dude scores huge on YouTube

BUENA PARK – He paid 99 cents for his spatula at the Dollar Tree. He has trouble pronouncing the French cooking term mise en place (“mise en plus?”). And the very notion of using …

www.ocregister.com

"The chef bailed and left him with 300 lbs. of spice."

Smoking 300lbs of spice would have left him more coherent and functional than this.

 

[souschef]

"The chef bailed and left him with 300 lbs. of spice."

Smoking 300lbs of spice would have left him more coherent and functional than this.

“Tarragon? What is tarragon? I’m not using that. Salt. Pepper. Oregano. Garlic salt. I’m stickin’ to the standards.

Absolutely nothing he does is up to the standards.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

This is because, in addition to Strokey Monster's normal absence of effort to do anything correctly in the first place, he refuses to do any fuck-ups over again. Jagoff could accidentally get dog shit on his food, and he would still do the Japanese schoolgirl thing of covering his mouth and laughing about how amazing it tastes. Even when the tapioca-brained fat fuck attempts to fix mistakes in editing, he still doesn't bother to get it right; and just creates overlapping mistakes which draw attention to one another. The only times I've seen him re-attempt videos is when he is sued into doing so or had so many strokes that he forgot about having already done it.

I can't be the only one who burst out laughing when this shit filled the screen:

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The ironic thing is back in California he still tried to fix his mistakes. He'd get called out on some of his mistakes and he'd have a redo on them.

Once it was Yorkshire Pudding which came out looking like hockey pucks and, as usual, he kept saying how beautiful and perfect they were. Then he got called out in the comments and he actually took the time to go back and redo it so they looked better. He wouldn't dream of doing this now because that would mean the haturz would win.

 

[Maker's Mark]

At what point does Tammy and the rest of Jack's family sit him down and tell him it's over? The man can barely talk anymore. Just go on disability and wait to die.

 

[semitooth]

absolutely love this comment..

 

[Pig Cups]

I want to see him fuck up one Amish dish before he goes

Me too. I want to see him try to make a shoofly pie that doesn’t solidify at all, and just ends up looking like a pan full of diarrhea. Like, whatever the fuck this was supposed to be, but browner.


Or maybe chow chow? I love it as an alternative to potato salad or coleslaw. It’s also stupidly easy to make. But since this is Jack, he’d obviously find some way to fuck it up.

 

[The Grimace]

Random question, when did Jack himself first say "nicest guy on YouTube?" I know people jokingly quote it a lot, but I've never learned the origin of it.

 

[mawrieposter]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

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I watched it! I don't understand, why does he insist on calling it "carnivore", it's NOT MEAT. It's NOT even pizza, all he did was melt cheese and put seasoning and sauce on it, it looks like a very bad "queso fundido" if you want to call it anything. There are low carb doughs I'm sure but why exclude the dough?? Also for a keto diet cottage cheese may or may not be a good choice depending on the brand, its healthy in terms of calories but not particularly carbs.

 

[High-Fructose Corn Syrup]

Jack mad that Biden actually helped out Americans

Biden has never helped any American.

 

[ILikeYou]

It looks like Jack didn't do his Livestream yesterday. Does anyone know why that is?

it's NOT MEAT. It's NOT even pizza, all he did was melt cheese and put seasoning and sauce on it, it looks like a very bad "queso fundido" if you want to call it anything.

There's another variation of the wacko 'carnivore diet' called 'animal based,' Maybe this would qualify as that, but I refuse to recognize those as 'diets' because no one would ever be recommended by anyone w/ a functioning brain to eat exclusively meat, or only meat and dairy and eggs. I mean, I guess you could call it the 'don't want to live very long diet.' That'd work for me.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Biden has never helped any American.

He did way more than the obese, elderly, senile conman who you admit you want to penetrate you did or will ever do.

 

[Crex Crex]

Biden has never helped any American.

He did way more than the obese, elderly, senile conman who you admit you want to penetrate you did or will ever do.

Please stop now.