Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Stickplant]

He hides his fatness so well on stream

There was a short where he explains that he lifts or does a bit of workout every day (not gym level shit but to stay fit) and work on the farm.
He said "so I don't turn into a slug-human"

Funny how a slug-human is exactly what he is.

 

[ScurvyRat]

There was a short where he explains that he lifts or does a bit of workout every day (not gym level shit but to stay fit) and work on the farm.
He said "so I don't turn into a slug-human"

Funny how a slug-human is exactly what he is.

I believe the exact quote is
"What do I do to stay in shape?
I touch grass"
*stretches"
"Yea"
EDIT: Found it thanks to @Black Willow Lurker

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

unedited photo of mald

 

[fukkit]

I believe the exact quote is
"What do I do to stay in shape?
I touch grass"
*stretches"
"Yea"
EDIT: Found it thanks to @Black Willow Lurker
View attachment 7035684

Theres another one where he picks up a 6lb weight next to him and says he reps it

 

[Gravemind]

unedited photo of mald

View attachment 7035779

Copious amounts of salt hasn't killed him yet, unfortunately.

 

[Delusion Enjoyer]

Jason tried to dress like Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate. Particularly the suit he wore to Rio. Except he got the suit and tie colors reversed and no gloves.

This should be a reminder that if you are going to spend the money on a suit, you should get it tailored. If your suit is ill fitting you may as well not wear one at all.

 

[aryancrack]

Sorry for lateposting this but it's been bothering me trying to figure out why he wore the all black suit and tie since it doesn't look good on him.
Then I had an epiphany.
Jason tried to dress like Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate. Particularly the suit he wore to Rio. Except he got the suit and tie colors reversed and no gloves.

View attachment 7034442View attachment 7034457(SEPARATED AT BIRTH?! )
You can't tell me he wasn't trying for the Alucard fit considering how much he likes ripping off everything else he does. He probably think he looks like him IRL too lmao.

Can he drop the neck routine??

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

unedited photo of mald

View attachment 7035779

I am a great soft jelly-thing, smoothly rounded with no mouth, with pulsing white holes filled by fog where my eyes used to be. Rubbery appendages that were once my arms, bulbs rounding down into legless lumps of soft, slippery matter. I leave a moisture trail when I move, blotches of diseased evil gray come and go on my surface as though light is being beamed within. Dumbly I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance.

I have no game and I must stream.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Can he drop the neck routine??

Deepthroat ferrets 10x a day

 

[potato sack]

I have no game and I must stream.

this was inspiring poetic and horrifying well done sir

 

[fukkit]

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Look, I hate Mald as much as the next guy here, but for the love of God you fucking faggots, can you please stop shitting up the thread with the constant "THEY FUCK FERRETS!!!11!!1" bullshit? It was funny once or twice maybe, but it gets annoying really quickly when the exact same post gets posted for a hundredth time.

We don't know whether they do, yet.

SORRY SAAR IM SORRY I AM SIMPLE SHIT POSTER SAAR I WILL ONLY BRING UP BUTT GNOME FROM NOW ON SAAR

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Its uncanny.

How dare you insult Kermit like this...

 

[Drama keen]

Maybe his fitness goal is Globglogabgalab.

 

[Shekel Puff]

I believe the exact quote is
"What do I do to stay in shape?
I touch grass"
*stretches"
"Yea"
EDIT: Found it thanks to @Black Willow Lurker
View attachment 7035684

What the actual fuck? Why can't he just answer a question like a normal human being, without sounding like a complete narcissistic smug asshole? It was just a normal question, that you can see other creators get asked as well by their fans. And they would give a sincere response like "oh, I go to the gym so and so times" or whatever else they do. Even saying something like "I take walks regularly" would be acceptable.
But not Mald. Oh no. He HAS to respond with the smuggest "hmmm?" tone and a shit eating smirk "oh, I touch grass my dude, like you wouldn't even comprehend how much of a better person I am. Than you, I mean. Because I touch grass, unlike you."
Holy shit, what a fucking insecure waste of oxygen.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

He said "so I don't turn into a slug-human"

This might be it, although he doesn't get into too much detail, so this might be the early/"unrefined" version of the story:

The rest of the clip is Mald explaining why he was kicked out of his WoW guild (that's way before The Incident), as well as why he couldn't find another guild ("because people don't understand guardian druids", apparently).

 

[el gordo]

This might be it, although he doesn't get into too much detail, so this might be the early/"unrefined" version of the story:
View attachment 7037013
The rest of the clip is Mald explaining why he was kicked out of his WoW guild (that's way before The Incident), as well as why he couldn't find another guild ("because people don't understand guardian druids", apparently).

lets break it down
1. i was in the guild
2. the guild master had an issue with me
3. i was removed

if you ignore all the fluff this is the story

 

[Black Lodge Baby]

This might be it, although he doesn't get into too much detail, so this might be the early/"unrefined" version of the story:
View attachment 7037013
The rest of the clip is Mald explaining why he was kicked out of his WoW guild (that's way before The Incident), as well as why he couldn't find another guild ("because people don't understand guardian druids", apparently).

Wasn't he clicking during the incident too? Or was it just no/bad key binds? (I don't play WoW so can't decipher the mess on screen)

 

[el gordo]

Wasn't he clicking during the incident too? Or was it just no/bad key binds? (I don't play WoW so can't decipher the mess on screen)

he clicks on icons rather then set hot keys, which is like driving a car with your hands on you lap

 

[Dwarf Lord]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0pJjp4UkFA

He has no keybinds other than the basic action bar. Major spells that he doesn't have a keybind for: Sheep, Ice Block, Mana Shield, Decurse, Evocate, Mana Gem (lol), Berserking (troll racial he should be using constantly). The most shocking thing he doesn't have as a keybind? HIS FUCKING MOUNT. I can't imagine the autism this nigger plays with where he's manually clicking to get on his mount every time he needs to move 10 yards while questing.