Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[twinArmageddons]

That's going a bit far don't you think?

i dont think there is like 122 mald followers in this thread rn

 

[cigint]

Wow, there is exactly one person (allegedly) playing Heartbound at the moment. I'm guessing it's just running on Mald's computer somewhere in his cybersecurity laboratory.

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

Wow, there is exactly one person (allegedly) playing Heartbound at the moment. I'm guessing it's just running on Mald's computer somewhere in his cybersecurity laboratory.

Jesus those stats are horrible lmao... what a "game dev".

 

[twinArmageddons]

Jesus those stats are horrible lmao... what a "game dev".

probably cause of daddy long dick just landed in la

or malds game is so fucking boring with a lame art style that feels like he went full cal arts instead of being his own

 

[Beyerdynamic DT 700 Pro X]

And Mald had the nerve to clown on Toby for his supposedly bad code for Undertale.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Seeing all the positive reviews be .2 hours or .4 hours.

Really tells a tale.

 

[Pvt. Parts]

It'd be pretty funny if we somehow organised to get @Pvt. Parts game to a higher concurrent player record than Heartbound.

It would be burnt into Steam analytic history forever.

Yeah dont do that. Let it happen by itself either its successful or its not. Only so much that I can do as far as shilling it. Its a shitty little idle game I dont expect much from it. Was a fun project and I never made an idler before so I got what I wanted out of it. I do appreciate the sentiment though.

 

[el gordo]

Let it happen naturally, because I think it will. For me, if it was 1 EUR instead of 5 I would buy and play it for the meme of it.

how fucking broke are you that 4 euros is a problem

 

[Decoy St. Chum]

Spoiler: Enjoy

View attachment 7471080

The way he talks down on actual game devs like fox and cawthorn is funny if it weren't so sad lol

No, Scott Cawthon would agree with him.
But "just make shit" is so funny from the guy who can't finish an Earthbound clone since what, 2017?

how fucking broke are you that 4 euros is a problem

i'm guessing he's "too broke" to spend money on useless shit, which is the white thing to do, you niggerbrain.

 

[Adr1anD]

another pilot named "Zultra Lord" who I know is either a mod or very close with him.

Sounds awfully close to UltraZ yn.

...right now, Mald's ashes guild is "inactive" because he's quit since blue prince/clair obscur came out...

Did he cheat in Blue Prince too?

 

[potato sack]

Jesus those stats are horrible lmao... what a "game dev".

the face of indie game development

 

[Vibe_Guy]

A
He types as if his blood contains 10% hemoglobin, 30% water and 60% soy milk with no additives (eco friendly packaging, produced in a factory adhering to eco-friendly electricity usage standards). Also if he doesn't want to be called a faggot then he should consider not using the lords name in vain.

A
Haha, you know what else is long? Your development time.

A

Maldy Mald is technically correct:


https://store.steampowered.com/app/567380/Heartbound/
As you can see, he technically did update the page to reflect he won't be updating the game on April.

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

It's mindblowing how actually talented and successful devs act as if this talentless grifter was one of their peers.

 

[MercuryMan]

Haha, you know what else is long? Your development time.
View attachment 7518762
A

Maldy Mald is technically correct:
View attachment 7518773
View attachment 7518774
https://store.steampowered.com/app/567380/Heartbound/
As you can see, he technically did update the page to reflect he won't be updating the game on April.

"Insane behavior, dude. I do five line changes to the codebase at every last day of the month! I'm on patch 1.0.9.9.99906 RC5, Animus is practically done at this point. Quit making shit up"

 

[Vibe_Guy]

It's mindblowing how actually talented and successful devs act as if this talentless grifter was one of their peers.

Fake it till you make it is a viable corporate strategy to retain employment. Also don't be too hard on the talented devs, maybe they know he is a hack but could use the publicity.

 

[potato sack]

It's mindblowing how actually talented and successful devs act as if this talentless grifter was one of their peers.

hes still a quite succesful streamer (3k views is still a lot). its all marketing bro, all marketing. using his platform to shill

playerunknowns next game is gonna stink of ferret piss though, yuck

 

[Roachbound]

From a marketing perspective, Mald's fanatical base is perfect for them to spend an hour shilling too. I theorise that these devs like Playerunknown will put aside their disdain for Mald and replace it with their genuine enthusiasm for Mald's remaining viewership to check out their game. Yes, Mald may be a dishonest fraud, but it's not his viewerbase they have a problem with.

Did he cheat in Blue Prince too?

I'm going to go with possibly. He solved most of the major puzzles I believe, though I did not find the footage, in general, Mald has "wisened" up to his prior antics of appearing as a puzzle god. However, luckily for us lolcow dairy enthusiasts, blue prince has some puzzles that are randomised and with possibly hundreds of unknown combinations, where even today there is no guide for, cheating for these by using google/game forums is pretty much unfeasible. For Mald, this also spells some serious logic fails which you guys can all have a laugh at. Also, notice that he is looking at chat throughout the entire playthrough, which often just spoils the answers for him

The rules of this randomised puzzle are:

1. there are 3 boxes and the player must deduce the single box that contains the gem.
2. Atleast 1 statement is a lie
3. Atleast 1 statement is true

Anyways the puzzle, though random, gets harder tiers the more you solve it, the first ones(like the one below) are designed to be foolproof that a 10 year old wouldn't fail it, let alone a 3 time defcon badge winner

Most of them are solved by him glancing at chat. There are also times where his chat also gets the wrong answer.

He's lying once again, the whole puzzle only took him 20 minutes and not an hour because he looked at chat.

another puzzle where he looks at chat

 

[Nothing Is Written]

Animus is practically done at this point.

Animus will always be 97% complete, even on release.

I'm going to go with possibly. He solved most of the major puzzles I believe, though I did not scroll through them. However, luckily for us lolcow dairy enthusiasts, blue prince has some puzzles that are randomised and with possibly hundreds of unknown combinations, where even today there is no guide for. For Mald, this also spells some serious logic fails which you guys can all have a laugh at. Also, notice that he is looking at chat throughout the entire playthrough, which often just spoils the answers for him

He solved everything he could do without looking at chat in under a minute. Chat carried him, and he was active in the Blue Prince Discord theory crafting and solving potential solutions to the puzzles. The game is quite difficult without knowing basic cryptography (especially the end-game), and each player instance is unique so he couldn't copy another player's solution.

He got stuck at the Blue Maze for about half a week, and hasn't touched the game since. He often implies that the game itself is either "unfinished" or "unsolved", despite hundreds of players actually finishing every puzzle in the game.

One chatter explicitly told him what to do at the Maze, and he dismissed the solution as being "convoluted" or someshit. Which it isn't, it just requires you to think independently from other players' solutions.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

It's mindblowing how actually talented and successful devs act as if this talentless grifter was one of their peers.

I don't know if I'd consider PUBG and H1Z1 exactly TALENTED.
They strike me as the same stuck up faggots as Mald.
Remember when they were trying to sue people for having pot / pans in FPS games?



OH lets not forget how long H1Z1 was in early access.
And when it finally released they changed it into some MTX slop Z1 Battle Royale.

 

[ScurvyRat]

Anyways the puzzle, though random, gets harder tiers the more you solve it, the first ones(like the one below) are designed to be foolproof that a 10 year old wouldn't fail it, let alone a 3 time defcon badge winner

Watching mald play puzzle games poorly makes me want to play those games the right way. It's so frustrating to watch him be completely retarded.
Is this how people feel watching DSP?