Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Fapcop]

Does anyone remember when Phil started dating, or at least announced, Kat? Was it like july/august of 2017? I'm just surprised he was able to land another so quickly considering the type of guy he is (maybe he didn't think he should reflect on what went wrong in his failed relationship). I know it's been said before, but christ,

Khat came unto Phils radar back in 2017, when he was in an infinitely better situation than the one he’s in now. Yes it was pre-best streak, but he had a much larger audience than that didn’t consist solely of retards and trolls, but also some True and Hahnest fans he hadn’t managed to scare away yet with his greed and general toxicity.

I’m not 100% sure whether she was part of his audience, or just some random, wannabe thot streamer looking for simps who manages to catch his attention: The point is though: Phil looked infinitely better in 2017, both as a streamer and potential partner than he does today.

Kat must've been in a terrible situation to move-in with a guy after three visits. Good thing Phil has noodle arms and is a pussy.

She was, but it was entirely a situation of her own making. When she started talking /cam sexing with Phil, she was still living with her boyfriend Subaruman who had a well paying job, and apparently didn’t mind Khat sitting on her ass and streaming all day.

What he DID mind though, was Khat cheating on him with some old goutcocked dood in Seattle, which he quickly discovered.

Whatever plan Khat had at the time (most likely taking her time with having to choose which dick to hang on to) fell apart at the time, and Khat basically had to choose between moving in with Phil or becoming homeless/quickly getting a job and renting a room somewhere.

Khat chose Phil, which was probably the smart call, considering the alternative.

It’s obvious from her introduction video, that things didn’t exactly work out as she had hoped. Phil is constantly pawing at her, making a weird baby noise, while Khat is just sitting there looking incredibly uncomfortably. At one point she almost physically recoils when Phil puts his pasty gorilla arm around her.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FnP5snuxP3s
Found one of them. The flashing mid-stream seems hard to get a hold of but maybe it'll appear around. Regardless, OH MY LORD this is bad. Mostly undressed Panda jumping around the suite, making faces and at one point jumping into the bath and making that "Look at my legs and boobs" pose. She gets in bed giggling at one point. Face up, arms outside the sheets. Couldn't scream ready for action any louder.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=uKT4f_u7sNQ

JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCK HER ALREADY PHIL!

Imagine having a decade younger nympho-girlfriend pretty much doing anything to get you and your cocks attention, and Phil is just waddling autistically around the room with his gay little camcorder, and talking about the shitty WiFi and the challenge of hooking a laptop up to a TV.

(Sigh) Phil is an embarrassment to the male sex. Guess Panda should have emailed him: “I need cock plox!”

She's fundamentally selfish much like Phil is. A better person would have at least ended things amicably with Subaru-kun, not waited to get caught and kicked the fuck out. There's proper ways for everything, even for cheating.

Phil must be sooo happy in his marriage to fat Khat. Truly a great match! They’re both selfish, boring people. Phil has his autism to deal with, Khat got her crazy pills. Phil got his alcohol and gambling addiction, Khat got her food addiction to get her through the long, loveless nights at Fort Snort.

And yeah, judging by her past, she’ll jump ship the minute a better opportunity comes up, or when Phil’s income drops below “Keeping Khat supplied in sushi”-levels.

 

[UncleTusky]

And yeah, judging by her past, she’ll jump ship the minute a better opportunity comes up, or when Phil’s income drops below “Keeping Khat supplied in sushi”-levels.

I hear you but I'm not sure she'll be able to find another mark on par with Phil. Her looks were never great (plus now she is of course 300 lbs from the constant Doordash, prove us wrong Phil!), no personality, and on top of all that fairly expensive. Any guy she gets after Phil would have to be desperate and unable to get a better trophy wife, and that just isn't compatible with the idea of her jumping ship for somebody else with Phil's income. That goes double when his spending money is high for his income because he does not set aside anything for retirement or even taxes. His income would probably have to drop by one-third to one-half for jumping ship to make sense.

 

[Kosher Dill]

and that just isn't compatible with the idea of her jumping ship for somebody else with Phil's income.

Though it doesn't necessarily have to be someone with Phil's income, because she never sees most of it. My rough estimate is that about half of his take-home pay goes to stuff that gives her absolutely zero benefit, like WWE Champions or paying back tahxes. She could jump ship from $120K Phil to a $60K straight guy with no addictions and probably come out even.

Of course, the whole "300 pounds" thing is still an issue, but she doesn't have to be romancing an Aryan superman.

 

[Brother Wind]

I like that the "why the hell not" person was Leanna, and not Jenna.

Jenna is the person who will say yes so it looks like you have a couple people already. Then you can peer pressure Leanna. Like come on suck my dick. All the cool girls are doing it

 

[Fapcop]

Though it doesn't necessarily have to be someone with Phil's income, because she never sees most of it. My rough estimate is that about half of his take-home pay goes to stuff that gives her absolutely zero benefit, like WWE Champions or paying back tahxes.

Of course, the whole "300 pounds" thing is still an issue, but she doesn't have to be romancing an Aryan superman.

Yeah, I could totally see Khat run off with some shift leader or department manager/vice manager at Kroger’s once Phil’s income dips too low.

There are plenty of simps and socially awkward 3/10s-6/10s out there, who have managed to rise to an alright fianancial/employment situation because they’ve had a good work ethic (or no social distractions, lol!) but who are desperately lonely and would throw themselves at a fat horse if she showed some interest.

(And while we like to joke about how fat Khat is, we don’t actually know for sure despite some strong HINT HINTs)

She could jump ship from $120K Phil to a $60K straight guy with no addictions and probably come out even.

Fuck, a 40K-50K a year guy who doesn’t drink or Gacha could easily give Phil competition. And it’s not always about economics.

Granted, we don’t know that much about Khat and her personality, but if she’s looking for things like a more normal life, occasional vacations and a husband she doesn’t need to be embarrassed about being married to, then Phil is out of the league of most of her co workers.

As much as Phil likes to talk about “his gated neighborhood” there’s really nothing particularly high end about it. It’s a middle class place with no detached houses.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCK HER ALREADY PHIL!

Imagine having a decade younger nympho-girlfriend pretty much doing anything to get you and your cocks attention, and Phil is just waddling autistically around the room with his gay little camcorder, and talking about the shitty WiFi and the challenge of hooking a laptop up to a TV.

This Is How You Don’t Sugardaddy:
“- Bugged libido mechanics, dood. Nothing I could do!”

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I think one of the big reasons Khet hasn't tried to jump ship is Phil doesn't expect her to do anything. He's even given up on her being his soulmaid. With someone else, she can't guarantee they'd be as passive as Phil. God forbid she'd have to actually share a bedroom with her husband, or go out more than once a week. She might even have to put out.

For now, Phil is ideal because he's too passive to make any sort of demands of Khet. I don't think Khet is the ballbuster others have implied her to be. If anything, I think they both have shy roommate mentality and neither wants to interact with the other. Going into tinfoil hat territory, I could see Khet convincing herself that Phil was only going to be temporary while she worked hard and improved her life, but due to her limited skills/ambition, she couldn't do anything more than get a part-time minimum wage job.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

There were some demands before the marriage because Phil couldn't stop raving how Catherine loved to cook and clean. That bullshit dried up quickly. Which begs the question why Phil keeps referring to her as Mom if she's not doing those things.

Also, we're only 6 months away from 3 years of marital bliss, which grants full alimony in Washington state.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

This Is How You Don’t Sugardaddy:
“- Bugged libido mechanics, dood. Nothing I could do!”

I'll give this one to Dave for free. There probably wasn't anything he could do to her that would make her happy and satisfied.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

There were some demands before the marriage because Phil couldn't stop raving how Catherine loved to cook and clean. That bullshit dried up quickly. Which begs the question why Phil keeps referring to her as Mom if she's not doing those things.

Also, we're only 6 months away from 3 years of marital bliss, which grants full alimony in Washington state.

I don't think Phil actually demanded those things though. I think it was either a case of Khet promising to do all those things to further incentivize Phil to fly her to the gout mansion, or Phil was trying to brag/flex on chat. Maybe even specifically dump on Leanna, since I'm sure she complained about having to do all of those things, but she was wrong and should have been grateful for the opportunity to be Phil's mom. It's also possible he has no idea what else to brag about, since outside of mobile gaming, food is probably the only other thing that's important to him.

It doesn't seem like Khet ever did cleaning. I think there was all of 1 time where Phil mentioned they cleaned out his office, but I don't think that was a Phil demand and just him deciding once every 5 years is an appropriate time to clean. It wasn't exactly a deep clean either. She sometimes cooked, but even then, it sounds like it was mostly microwaving TV dinners or making potato stuff. Again, probably not something Phil was demanding. This is speculation, but I imagine Phil was already pretty big into delivery by the time Khet moved in. During that period where Leanna wasn't around, I can't imagine Phil was cooking or even "cooking" for himself, he's just too lazy/inept. I also get the impression that, given the low quality of food Phil enjoys, he'd favor fast food delivery over a home cooked meal.

 

[scobra666]

JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCK HER ALREADY PHIL!

Imagine having a decade younger nympho-girlfriend pretty much doing anything to get you and your cocks attention, and Phil is just waddling autistically around the room with his gay little camcorder, and talking about the shitty WiFi and the challenge of hooking a laptop up to a TV.

(Sigh) Phil is an embarrassment to the male sex. Guess Panda should have emailed him: “I need cock plox!”

Pretty sure all the videos like that 100% proves how much of a faggot he is, panda was annoying as fuck but shit, you can't tell me with her acting that way anyone would rather record some retard video like that over smashing, no he's gay as fuck

 

[Fapcop]

Pretty sure all the videos like that 100% proves how much of a faggot he is, panda was annoying as fuck but shit, you can't tell me with her acting that way anyone would rather record some retard video like that over smashing, no he's gay as fuck

The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995. Phil could come out and not just enjoy sweet bathhouse rumps with sweaty muscle doods, he must surely also be aware of all the extra cash a “Phil: Gaymer on Stream” story would bring him.

New viewers dood! Libtards and fags throwing cash his way because homophobic detractors try to ruin his life! Please contribute! Phil needs money for his PREP pills!

Phil as a low testosterone asexual autist rhymes a lot better with what we’re seeing.

 

[Kosher Dill]

The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995.

Counterpoint: he's been welded into his room like a coofing Chinaman since like 2005.
Or put another way: for you it may have been 1995, but for Phil it was Tuesday.

 

[Fapcop]

Counterpoint: he's been welded into his room like a coofing Chinaman since like 2005.
Or put another way: for you it may have been 1995, but for Phil it was Tuesday.

Fair point.

I guess the only to definetely settle this is to give Phil one of those cock-measuring tests they give pedos and potential sexcriminals, and see what results in the biggest blood flow to his pecker: Sweaty men, buxom blondes or pictures of money.

 

[UncleTusky]

The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995. Phil could come out and not just enjoy sweet bathhouse rumps with sweaty muscle doods, he must surely also be aware of all the extra cash a “Phil: Gaymer on Stream” story would bring him.

Yeah but Phil is mentally stuck in the 1990s/early 2000s when homosexuality was still extremely taboo and embarrassing. I'm not sure he could even wrap his head around the idea of a gay streamer who doesn't act like Liberace 24/7, let alone a successful one.

 

[Freshtodeath]

I would assume kat is probably saving as much as she can before the divorce saga since phil pays for everything. Phil banning her from social media worked out in her favor, whatever scam she is pulling on phil we have no evidence of it. She's only 31/32 so when she fleas the gout mansion she is still relativly young and will have plenty of savings.

LOL at him not fucking leanna daily. Ugly 30 year old dude has a 20 year old gf who wants sex and doesn't take advantage lmao.

 

[millais]

Some of his other mannerisms and perceptions of himself are definitely still stuck in the past. He refused to wear glasses for the longest time because he didn't want to look like a nerd.

 

[Fapcop]

I would assume kat is probably saving as much as she can before the divorce saga since phil pays for everything. Phil banning her from social media worked out in her favor, whatever scam she is pulling on phil we have no evidence of it. She's only 31/32 so when she fleas the gout mansion she is still relativly young and will have plenty of savings.

Let’s hope she’s saving for a shark of a divorce lawyer who gets dollarsigns in his eyes once he hears about Phil’s income and 4-500K condo.

Or some crazy, old feminist who has destroyed more men in court than the opiate epidemic. It’s Seattle, after all. I’m sure they have a few of those around.

Khat could really fuck with Phil if she wanted to. Make a few marks on herself (or if she’s lazy just tell the police that Phil threatened her), get a restraining order and boom!

Before Phil knows it, he’ll be streaming from (and living in!) a hotel room with a look of utter shock and confusion on his face.

(Yes, it’s Phils house, but it’s Khats residence, and is cases like this, the courts often side with the person taking out a restraining order. Especially when there’s such a big income difference.)

LOL at him not fucking leanna daily. Ugly 30 year old dude has a 20 year old gf who wants sex and doesn't take advantage lmao.

That’s fucking Phil in a nutshell! The guy has pigroach luck like nobody else. And does absolutely nothing with it.

Stumbles into YouTube fame when it’s still a new thing, and gets a substantial audience? Fuck growing it or doing anything with it, beyond wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars on stupid shit.

Comes across a smoking hot, decade younger nymphomaniac, who for some god forsaken reason isn’t disgusted by his subpar looks or personality?

Does Phil tap that sweet ass every single day, and put a ring on her ASAP? Fuck her till she can’t walk straight at least once a week?

Nah, he just leaves her hanging, regularly begging for cock, wondering about “commitment”, until they become glorified roommates and she starts to meet real men.

I guess it’s that weird combination of pigroach luck and total ineptitude that makes Phil so entertaining.

“Wow! A wallet with 20.000$ in it?! Oh dang, there’s a drivers license too! Don’t want to do federal time for identity theft, so imma throw both in da trash!”

 

[actually]

Yeah but Phil is mentally stuck in the 1990s/early 2000s when homosexuality was still extremely taboo and embarrassing. I'm not sure he could even wrap his head around the idea of a gay streamer who doesn't act like Liberace 24/7, let alone a successful one.

To further bolster this, see Phil's refusal to wear the glasses he is legally mandated to wear while driving, even as he squints at his big screen TV 6-8 feet away from him and routinely is unable to see things that move quickly on the screen. It's very plainly obvious that he thinks wearing glasses means he will look dumb/nerdy/whatever, so even though he would be objectively better off with them on, he won't wear them.

 

[Draventren]

The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995. Phil could come out and not just enjoy sweet bathhouse rumps with sweaty muscle doods, he must surely also be aware of all the extra cash a “Phil: Gaymer on Stream” story would bring him.

New viewers dood! Libtards and fags throwing cash his way because homophobic detractors try to ruin his life! Please contribute! Phil needs money for his PREP pills!

Phil as a low testosterone asexual autist rhymes a lot better with what we’re seeing.

And just to add on to the points everyone else has made: Phil is extremely insecure. Regardless of social acceptability of being gay, or anything else Phil will never outright admit it. I am actually like you and lean more towards the low-T asexual thing, but that's the same boat. He hates being judged or mocked for anything, and let's be totally real here if Phil said on pre-stream tomorrow that he was anything other than straight, this board would light him the fuck up. His chat would explode, shit would go off and he'd get bullied for it. He's never going to admit that he's anything but a big tough macho man, even as he sits around letting his house fall apart and letting himself drown in mental, emotional, and financial problems instead of trying to solve them like a real man would.

Something I've also been thinking about with the gay/asexual thing: we know Phil is a mommy's boy. I wonder what his mom's opinion on the alphabet soup revolution is. I also wonder if she's expressed that opinion to her son. I don't think his dad's opinion would affect him as much as his moms, and maybe this is just my experience, but moms tend to be a lot more invested in shit like this. Source: the amount of times my mom has told me she'd be okay with me being gay/trans but she'd be a bit sad still.