It's a 'win' because we all get to find out about it, and then laugh at both Jenna and this random degenerate; nobody here told him/her to do shit. It's exactly what this board is for - if you want to go feel sorry for Jenna, this is not the place.
Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna
- Thread starter James Smith
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It's a 'win' because we all get to find out about it, and then laugh at both Jenna and this random degenerate; nobody here told him/her to do shit. It's exactly what this board is for - if you want to go feel sorry for Jenna, this is not the place.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2020
Well this fucking happened. Didn't it. Jesus christ talk about a pity fuck. Islam is right about women.
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- Oct 21, 2018
well not right now, the trucker are forced to work every waking minute right now...
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- May 6, 2020
If you want to feel sorry for Jenna, go to Phil's stream, he'll be more understanding if you want to support his sister in law...
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- Jun 23, 2015
What's the best way to support her? With Phil we know it's with a tip. But with Jenna, someone tried giving her just the tip and it almost caused a kiwi civil war.
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- Jan 29, 2021
It's crazy what pussy will do to a subforum. The autism vortex never fails. How the fuck does Phil do it?
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- Apr 30, 2020
I think he does it by being such a boring motherfucker. He has the draw to bring in exceptional individuals who are baffled by a 40yr old boomer playing games badly draining the disability checks of his fans. They stick around, then get bored of him burping, farting, and begging into the mic. After that they autism turns in on itself and you have people thirsting over the Pig's Horse's schizo whore sister.
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
This is exactly the problem: Phil is a boring lolcow, much of the time, because his nature makes him both fun to laugh at, but also difficult to enjoy often since the laughter scares him off of sharing as much as he wants to.
I'm almost certain that if Phil was just dumb/autistic enough, or had enough cajones, we could get enough out of him to rival Chris-Chan in terms of volume. I doubt he would ever shove a toy up his ass, or bang his mother, but he would certainly post about the stuff he DOES feel like doing or has done in his past a lot more frequently if he possessed more spine/lacked more functioning neurons.
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- Oct 31, 2019
Fucking a whore is fucked up? What the fuck. Do you like ponies?
Cyber Bowling
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2017
Fucking a whore is fine. Well, morally speaking, IMO, it reeks of desperation, but whatever, it isn't hurting anyone. Failing to fuck a gross homeless druggie solely because you want internet clout because they are related to someone that is married to a guy who plays video games poorly on the internet is pretty fucked up.
If this was just some dude who previously slept with Khet then someone found out about the thread and posted their experiences, I'd argue there's still a grossness factor because it's still Jenna, but it wouldn't be as pathetic. If you absolutely have to sleep with a whore, there's got to be better options than the crazy druggie living in a van. Again, Jenna is apparently so bad of a whore the dude couldn't even get off. It was pretty clearly about DSP and had nothing to do with Jenna. And it's dumb because Jenna has absolutely no relation to Phil whatsoever and I'd argue isn't even tangentially part of the gout sphere.
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- Aug 4, 2020
I haven't been here for a while due to the state line crossing incident of 25 of August twenty twenty, but god damn people do weird celebrations on the national Biden Colonoscopy day.
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- Aug 5, 2021
Negative Damage
kiwifarms.net
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- May 15, 2021
Idk if anyone else noticed yet, but that third option on the poll at the top of the page seems eerily prescient now
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- Apr 2, 2020
Like most paranormal things, there’s a logical explanation. This one is that it was changed after the deed was done.
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- Jan 25, 2018
I think part of the problem here isn't merely that Phil is boring. In some ways yes because there really hasn't been that much noteworthy drama with Phil over the past few years compared to the years before it. But the problem I think is that a lot of people expect too much regular noteworthy events. When you come to the farms everyday and check-in on your favorite cows, you're probably expecting some new milk to be given to you. But you aren't going to be getting new milk everyday or even every week. You might get some tiny sips, but you often have to wait months at a time for something really major.
If you were to watch something like the Down the Rabbit Hole that was done on Phil with knowing about him, you would probably think he was the most consistent dumpster fire of all-time. But looking at those major events that were covered, you realize that they were all occurring spaced out from one another over the course of several years:
- 2011 was when people first started turning on Phil
- It took another two years for the This is How You Don't Play and parody DSP Tries It videos to start occurring
- He moves to Seattle in 2014. Financial problems start to occur
- Quite a lot of major events happen in 2015, but again only happening every few months
- In 2016 he jerks off on stream
- Another year later he gets removed from Machinima and has problems finding somebody to replace them with
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
The tiny sips are what I'm talking about there not being as much of thanks to his sensitivity. I'm aware of lolcows in general not having a lot of major events compared to the little ones, I don't expect any of them to suddenly increase dramatically under any circumstances. What I do lament is not getting as much of the little weekly bits that would surely flow from Phil were he to be braver/dumber/more autistic.
For example, the one photo I've seen of him with his prescription glasses on (instead of the stupid gunner glasses he wears for tips), he voluntarily posted without any prompting. Not interesting by itself, but it is evidence of Phil's desire to share exceeding what he feels comfortable actually indulging. The more a lolcow goes ahead and shares, the more entertainment there is to be had on a regular basis.
The Wolverine Toy story, mentioning of when he found out wrestling was fake, and claims of once being jacked may not be major events, but they're still a major part of what makes a lolcow worth following, and exactly the kind of thing we're missing out on from Phil's lack of cajones.
For example, the one photo I've seen of him with his prescription glasses on (instead of the stupid gunner glasses he wears for tips), he voluntarily posted without any prompting. Not interesting by itself, but it is evidence of Phil's desire to share exceeding what he feels comfortable actually indulging. The more a lolcow goes ahead and shares, the more entertainment there is to be had on a regular basis.
The Wolverine Toy story, mentioning of when he found out wrestling was fake, and claims of once being jacked may not be major events, but they're still a major part of what makes a lolcow worth following, and exactly the kind of thing we're missing out on from Phil's lack of cajones.
Cyber Bowling
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2017
I think Phil provides a fair amount of content, it's just fairly tame and repetitive, but that's basically been his whole thing for years. As others have pointed out, it's not like in the past Phil was involved in some dramatic saga every single day. Heck, one of the big mainstays of Phil is the fact he's a hermit who barely leaves his house and barely interacts with anyone, that pretty much guarantees he'll be on the tamer side in terms of content. A lot of other cows produce content because they can't help but run their mouths and are constantly picking fights with people.
The two main traits that made him a cow in the first place were how bad he is at video games and his rants/excuses. He still provides those fairly often, to the point where even on days off we still sometimes get gems from his Twitter account, like the BK incident. I've always treated Phil as more of a "let's see what dumb thing Phil got up to today" type of cow. It's kind of the equivalent of catching an old sitcom you used to watch while channel surfing. It probably isn't enough to drive you to hysterics and you can see all the punchlines coming, but you'll still watch for at least a few minutes, maybe even up to a commercial break.
The two main traits that made him a cow in the first place were how bad he is at video games and his rants/excuses. He still provides those fairly often, to the point where even on days off we still sometimes get gems from his Twitter account, like the BK incident. I've always treated Phil as more of a "let's see what dumb thing Phil got up to today" type of cow. It's kind of the equivalent of catching an old sitcom you used to watch while channel surfing. It probably isn't enough to drive you to hysterics and you can see all the punchlines coming, but you'll still watch for at least a few minutes, maybe even up to a commercial break.
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- May 5, 2020
True, though for my part, what made me stick around was finding out the WHY of his ineptitude. He's a puzzle full of little puzzles, and my enjoyment has been largely in solving them one at a time. I find it helps tremendously in avoiding getting angry at him, because the more I tear down his facade, the easier it gets to laugh at what he does in a frantic attempt to cover his bare soul back up with so much bullshit.
That's why my favorite DSP lore will always be the fact that he's addicted to spending money on shitty mobile games. No matter what he denies, no matter how insane his lies get (like falling asleep right front of us and claiming his eye was twitching), he can never, ever, ever escape how exposed he has been by the fact that he's stupid enough to get suckered by the dumbest grift ever conceived. His image will never be anything like what he wants it to be, because he doesn't want to earn it. Just get it.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2019
But we don’t have any evidence of Phil buying NFTs.
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2021
So there was a bunch of thirsting debate about the bangebility of the 3 women in the goutsphere.
Which one would you pick as your Officer Sanders?
Which one would you pick as your Officer Sanders?