Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%
  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%
  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%
  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%

  • Total voters
    626






















This autism might need to be posted in the cooking with Kat thread too...
EDIT: So I checked the animal feed store... (don't worry I checked the term "Turkey hot dog" even tho it's incorrect also and it had the same results) because I didn't think "half the fat" sounded right when talking about fucking hot dogs.
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Regular Oscar Mayer hot dogs...
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1 cup (ew why do they measure how much hotdog you eat by cup???) is 110 calories and 10g of fat.

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Oscar Mayer All Natural Select Turkey Premium Custom Hot Dog Franks...

110 calories, 8g of fat.

Maybe he means these? The Jennie-O Jumbo Turkey Franks?
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Well it does say 40% less fat? But lets see where that pesky asterisk leads to...
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"per serving"

Which means they just fucked with the serving size. He fell for the marking scheme.

Even the cheapest most unhealthy Beef wieners don't actually have 16g of fat.
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With his health, he should be a lot more concerned with salt content (no pun intended). But he won't be, he couldn't even figure out on his own that putting more than a couple tablespoons of sugar in some soup is dumb.
 
Kat Loves HotDogs.mp4





















This autism might need to be posted in the cooking with Kat thread too...
EDIT: So I checked the animal feed store... (don't worry I checked the term "Turkey hot dog" even tho it's incorrect also and it had the same results) because I didn't think "half the fat" sounded right when talking about fucking hot dogs.
View attachment 1441522





Regular Oscar Mayer hot dogs... View attachment 1441530



1 cup (ew why do they measure how much hotdog you eat by cup???) is 110 calories and 10g of fat.

View attachment 1441533



Oscar Mayer All Natural Select Turkey Premium Custom Hot Dog Franks...

110 calories, 8g of fat.

Maybe he means these? The Jennie-O Jumbo Turkey Franks?
View attachment 1441540
Well it does say 40% less fat? But lets see where that pesky asterisk leads to...
View attachment 1441543
"per serving"

Which means they just fucked with the serving size. He fell for the marking scheme.

Even the cheapest most unhealthy Beef wieners don't actually have 16g of fat. View attachment 1441547
The video clip totally displays something that has always bothered me about Phil. I've always been somewhat of a lip reader. It's part of my particular brand of 4 puzzle pieces.

95% of the time, Phil's mouth never fucking moves when he's talking. It's like watching a CGI cutscene from the late 90s. His lips barely move, his jowls flop a little. If you were legitimately deaf and tried to read his lips, it would probably read/sound like this in your head.

It's not until he goes full clown-mode that his face moves in a way that you can make out what he's saying.

On topic, however... Khet's been on a hot dog kick. And Dave doesn't get the underlying message there. Tyrone was caught up in the CHAZ/CHOP stuff, so she hasn't been able to achieve satisfaction. If she was jonesing for Phil, she'd be on a Vienna sausage kick. But no, she's looking for the full wiener. I'm surprised she didn't poke the pig and go on a kielbasa kick.
 
Contrary to what he thinks, he is not a good speaker. When confronted with that, he just brings up the fact that he has been doing this for 12 years, as if that automatically makes it easier to understand him when he's being a particularly bad mush-mouth.

Just one of the many things he never improves upon because he's stupid and too busy getting butt-hurt about well-earned criticism.

I would wonder if Khet ever notices, but I'm pretty sure they rarely communicate.
 
Contrary to what he thinks, he is not a good speaker. When confronted with that, he just brings up the fact that he has been doing this for 12 years, as if that automatically makes it easier to understand him when he's being a particularly bad mush-mouth.

Just one of the many things he never improves upon because he's stupid and too busy getting butt-hurt about well-earned criticism.

I would wonder if Khet ever notices, but I'm pretty sure they rarely communicate.

He's not a good speaker because he's terrible at actually communicating. He chooses to use 100 words when he could get his point out in 10. He also does this fucking annoying "suspense" speak. He'll talk around something for 10 minutes instead of just saying it like it's some big reveal.
 
He's not a good speaker because he's terrible at actually communicating. He chooses to use 100 words when he could get his point out in 10. He also does this fucking annoying "suspense" speak. He'll talk around something for 10 minutes instead of just saying it like it's some big reveal.

He's the human equivalent of those recipe websites/blogs that write an epic about the full history, ancestry, and origin of their entire family line before getting to the recipe for fucking jello or some shit.
 
Contrary to what he thinks, he is not a good speaker. When confronted with that, he just brings up the fact that he has been doing this for 12 years, as if that automatically makes it easier to understand him when he's being a particularly bad mush-mouth.

Just one of the many things he never improves upon because he's stupid and too busy getting butt-hurt about well-earned criticism.

I would wonder if Khet ever notices, but I'm pretty sure they rarely communicate.
I couldn't tell you half of what he says because he's a lazy mumbling dumpling
 
It occurs to me that Phil's shitty answer to "Is Khet getting a PS5?" is probably partially out of anger at noticing the way we've thoroughly dissected his sham of a marriage. He REALLY cannot handle it at all when confronted with the truth, but he can't bring himself to look away from our reminders. It's fun exploiting that. lol
 
It occurs to me that Phil's shitty answer to "Is Khet getting a PS5?" is probably partially out of anger at noticing the way we've thoroughly dissected his sham of a marriage. He REALLY cannot handle it at all when confronted with the truth, but he can't bring himself to look away from our reminders. It's fun exploiting that. lol
Kat has her own money and she can do with it what she wants.
Anyways, guys I really do need that money, I just need to get over one last tax hurdle
 
1. In comparison to the few shtreemed interactions we've seen Dave have with his horse, he was marginally more affectionate toward his daughter. She'd appear in his videos and he'd awkwardly put his arm around her and do what looked like some really...weird caressing on her shoulder or whatever. Like, normally if you had your arm around your SO, you might gently rub with a thumb our your finger-tips (or so I've heard, I'm on Kiwi Farms so I don't have any semblance of friends or a lover, or anything that would indicate I have a ROBUST life). Phil's caressing looked more like he was uncomfortably petting a dog that walked up to him while at a friend's house. Beyond that, though, there wasn't a great deal of anything physical between the two. With regards to their interactions on shtreems and videos, they appeared to have more natural discourse and banter that would indicate a higher level of comfort. She was totally dominating, and he would act like a little bitch when she'd heckle him ("It must be MY fault when the laundry gets done, and MY fault when there's delicious cooked meals..." *Awkward Phil laughter*). She showed him a great deal of affection and he maybe, if I'm being generous, reciprocated with 1/10 of that to her. And that 1/10 is still infinitely more than he's shown towards Khet. He tends to talk about his wife *thumbs toward door* more than he did Leanna because he keeps trying to give off the air of being a real mature married adult Italian-by-way-of-Poland.

2. He might have said SOMETHING about proposing/marrying Panda in passing earlier than it came up when it did....but any real discussion in earnest happened after she made her instasnap post and showed up on shtreem not-so-subtly flaunting the ring over his shoulder. Beyond that, he only used the alleged proposal AFTER the Panda went to a different zoo to mate to get pity-bux from his wheelchairs. I can't imagine him ACTUALLY ever planning to propose to her without her low-key nagging him about it.
When they officially got engaged, the Titanic (symbolizing their relationship) was taking on lots of water and this was the last gasp to save the relationship.

Phil proposed to her with a sub $100 engagement ring, that I believe he tried to claim, that they got for 80% off, which was a lie.

Within the first month of the engagement, Panda flew the coop and Phil released the infamous we broke up Twit Longer on May 31, 2017.

Found the first reveal to Phil about Leanna's fake engagement ring:
It should be timestamped at 5:21.
 
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It occurs to me that Phil's shitty answer to "Is Khet getting a PS5?" is probably partially out of anger at noticing the way we've thoroughly dissected his sham of a marriage. He REALLY cannot handle it at all when confronted with the truth, but he can't bring himself to look away from our reminders. It's fun exploiting that. lol
Phil gets pissy at any innocent mention of Katherine for months now, even from his loyal paypigs. I don't think it's us dissecting it, it's obvious he's unhappy with how his marriage has gone. We can only speculate if Katherine is even still there, or is fucking Jim behind the scenes, etc...
 
Phil gets pissy at any innocent mention of Katherine for months now, even from his loyal paypigs. I don't think it's us dissecting it, it's obvious he's unhappy with how his marriage has gone. We can only speculate if Katherine is even still there, or is fucking Jim behind the scenes, etc...

More than likely Phil is suffering from what one would call "buyer's remorse". Phil, even if he wants to admit it or not, was trying to turn to turn Katherine into Panda 2.0 meaning exploit her from jump.

When that obliviously didn't work because let's be honest poor Katherine doesn't have a real.....vibrant personality, well one good for streaming; Phil begin to realize very quickly, along with detractors, she isn't really....wife material.

These days any innocent question from the "fanbase" about Katherine turns into a borderline sneak diss session about anything from food preferences to other "content creators" on YouTube.
I wouldn't be surprised if Phil is still butthurt about being unable to exploit Katherine for money.
 
Phil gets pissy at any innocent mention of Katherine for months now, even from his loyal paypigs. I don't think it's us dissecting it, it's obvious he's unhappy with how his marriage has gone. We can only speculate if Katherine is even still there, or is fucking Jim behind the scenes, etc...

Well if he's unhappy already, then us bringing it up certainly isn't helping. His mood, that is. We're helping in another way, much as he doesn't have the ability to appreciate it.

The salt that will flow when (not if) it finally ends will make the whole wait worthwhile.

I'm actually NOT looking forward to that, because 1) him being in a sham marriage he could've avoided is hilarious, 2) there is no guarantee that a separation is even going to be very fun to watch when it comes to those two, 3) at this point in his life, he's going to have a hell of a time replacing Khet, and 4) he might not even be able to pull that off.

Phil is clearly way more entertaining when he's spoken for, because it's always one more thing he fucked up on, that we get to make fun of him for, practically in perpetuity.

I wouldn't be surprised if Phil is still butthurt about being unable to exploit Katherine for money.

That kind of thing will always be believable with Phil.
 
I wouldn't be surprised if Phil is still butthurt about being unable to exploit Katherine for money.
Think that's the the core issue with it.

First he makes big promises and plans for having his new girlfriend providing content to the stream and then now its devolved into "the stupid wife fucked up dinner so now we have to eat _______, which I don't like btw." and she doesn't want to be on stream. Paywalling her is not an option.

Same with Jasper. Yeah Jasper will be an amazing addition to stream and now he I have to close the door so the stupid thing doesn't bother me during stream. Like, what? That's another paywall for the future.

Now we are on the Stupid Vest part. Another object to exploit and he's getting sick of talking about it despite not wanting to? At least this thing is an actual object that can't fuck up cooking or tear up his cables and furniture and can monetize it DAILY. But boy does it make him hot and look stupid.
 
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