Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Iron Hamster]

I've said this in another thread, but Phil has been jumpy lately. He has been looking out the window at every passing car

Well, yeah. He hoping she'll come back.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I've said this in another thread, but Phil has been jumpy lately. He has been looking out the window at every passing car, and going downstairs to greet Kat, even when it was nobody and the house was empty.
He was even saying how she should be back from work by now, but traffic could be holding her up.

These are the behaviors of a guy that suspects his wife of infidelity. If that's true or not isn't even the point, the point is that he absolutely suspects it.

Phil is afraid to go to Walmart because he thinks he'll get stabbed. He thought if he went shopping at the wrong time when the pandemic began, he'd get into a fight with shoppers. He stores hatchets at his doors because he's convinced trolls will attack him, which is also why he lives in a gated community. He's just naturally a paranoid and terrified dude.

You could maybe argue that paranoid extends to Khet cheating on him, but I don't think Phil gives that much consideration to what Khet does. Honestly, I think it's more believable Khet said she'd pick up fast food on her way home and that's why he cared so much.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I still bet heavily on Catherine divorcing Phil. Look back at why she cheated on Subaru Jeff. The one and only thing Phil provided that he didn't was money, and the willingness to spend a ton on her. If Phil isn't doing that, and her birthday strongly suggests that, there's nothing left for her except getting her part of that 6 figures Phil is contributed every year.

Catherine absolutely has somewhere else to go once she gets Phil's half. Froggah, at least.

 

[Kosher Dill]

there's nothing left for her except getting her part of that 6 figures Phil is contributed every year.

She might be able to swing some sort of cashout from the marriage, but she'd be giving up the next however-many years of free food and rent for it. It's not clear that's a winning trade.

 

[Fapcop]

So I took a look at WA divorce laws cause I’m an autistic sperg and really am looking forward to see this saga and...

While it looks like the house is Phil’s property since he acquired it before marriage, it’s by no means safe.

You see, one of the things that Khat could lay a 50% claim on is... Phil’s income.

Alimony is likely where Phil will get phucked. Hard.

The amount that Phil would have to pay and for how long, depends on a number of factors. The length of the marriage, his income, Khat’s status, etc.

Since Khat is working a part time, minimum wage job, the court would likely make Phil support her for a number of years so she doesn’t suffer a drastic downgrade in her quality of life and (for example) could take an education, etc.

The court would look at Phil’s +10.000$ a month income and, in the worst case scenario, consider half of it Khat’s money and saddle Phil with a 4-5000$ alimony for years.

(No, “I spent most of it stupidly and on wrestler jpgs” isn’t a valid excuse.)

If Phil was hit with an alimony of just 3-4000$ a month, there’s no doubt that he’d need to look into selling Fort Snort. Especially if it coincides with a downturn in whales/income.

A lot of course depends on the divorce lawyer Kat would get (Phil would no doubt be a dumbass and try to cheapen out) and the judge, but a divorce, irrespective of the house being in his name, could easily turn into a financial Armageddon for Phil.

And Khat of course has the option to make things extremely unpleasant for Phil, depending on how much of psycho bitch she is.

Allegations of domestic abuse could quickly mean that Phil gets a restraining order and has to move out of Fort Snort, while Khat stays for the duration of the divorce (which could take a loong time if she so chooses), happily playing her Nintendo and invites Jim and Tyrone to come live with her.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Guys, Phil was able to convince the bankruptcy courts that his income is negative $35 a month. He owns no electronics. He has no pets.

If Kat divorces Phil, she will be paying him.

 

[Fapcop]

Guys, Phil was able to convince the bankruptcy courts that his income is negative $35 a month. He owns no electronics. He has no pets.

If Kat divorces Phil, she will be paying him.

That was a bankruptcy court though.

All you need to do to win there is basically to show up and park your Porsche a block away.

Let’s see how Phil would do against a cutthroat divorce lawyer looking for a payday. And armed with years of income records courtesy of the Farms.

My bet is: Not very well.

 

[Super Dent Head]

That was a bankruptcy court though.

All you need to do to win there is basically to show up and park your Porsche a block away.

Let’s see how Phil would do against a cutthroat divorce lawyer looking for a payday. And armed with years of income records courtesy of the Farms.

My bet is: Not very well.

Kat could also tell the courts what Phil is actually spending his money on; Gambling, how often he eats out etc. She'd probably feed them enough information that when the look through it all and compare with his bankrupty, which is very likely because divorce lawyers are vicious, they could find Phil lied to the courts; Hell, he could even be looking at jail time.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Guys, Phil was able to convince the bankruptcy courts that his income is negative $35 a month. He owns no electronics. He has no pets.

If Kat divorces Phil, she will be paying him.

Khet is a woman living in Washington state, there's a 99% of a chance she'll win. I still didn't say 100% because whatever demonic entity Phil performs regular sacrifices for could still protect him from something that would destroy anyone else in his position.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

I don't see why she'd ever divorce him. If I know one thing about women, it's that on their birthday they love nothing more than sitting in a car eating Burger King whilst you complain about your sandwich having too much mayo.

 

[Fapcop]

Kat could also tell the courts what Phil is actually spending his money on; Gambling, how often he eats out etc. She'd probably feed them enough information that when the look through it all and compare with his bankrupty, which is very likely because divorce lawyers are vicious, they could find Phil lied to the courts; Hell, he could even be looking at jail time.

It doesn’t really matter what he spent the money on. Half of that money was/is Khat’s. (And I strongly doubt that the courts would look positively on Phil spending all of his money on his vices, while his HS-diploma limited wife works retail at minimum wage.)

Realistically, Phil wouldn’t face jailtime. But he’s stupid and a coward, and it’s exactly those kinds of insinuations I’d expect a shark of a divorce lawyer bring up, while Phil in full bitch-mode whimpers and rocks back and forth.

And finally signs the divorce agreement that’ll give Khat 5.000$ a month for five years. “Wise choice Mr. Burnell... After all: We wouldn’t want to see all this dragged out in open court and possibly risk jailtime, hmm?”

Khet is a woman living in Washington state, there's a 99% of a chance she'll win. I still didn't say 100% because whatever demonic entity Phil performs regular sacrifices for could still protect him from something that would destroy anyone else in his position.

Even if WA wasn’t a loony tunes liberal insane asylum (Which it actually isn’t in the 90% of the state that isn’t near the coast!) Khat would still walk away with a solid check every month.

Any income Phil earned is joined income. Khat has the right to a divorce without literally falling into poverty overnight.

Phil of course wouldn’t have to pay alimony for the rest of his life, but the system is set up so a woman like Kat, with little job experience and no education who married young, can have a chance at for example going to school and improving her chances of making it on her own.

While still maintaining the kind of lifestyle she was used to during the marriage.

(It’s not the court nor Khat’s fault that Phil is an idiot living in an expensive gated neighborhood and is a financial black hole.)

Lord, can you imagine the begging and the rants we’d get if this scenario ends happening?

As long as he has to pay alimony, Phil will bring it up in bitter (most likely drunk) rants during prestreams about “shithead judges” and “Worthless lawyers who have to prey on people whose actually have accomplished something!”

 

[Kosher Dill]

The court would look at Phil’s +10.000$ a month income and, in the worst case scenario, consider half of it Khat’s money and saddle Phil with a 4-5000$ alimony for years.

It would be killing the goose that lays the golden eggs though. Eternal alimony is mostly a dead meme from the '70s and '80s - in most states it doesn't work that way anymore. According to my tahx attorney from Connecticut, Washington state alimony typically only lasts something like 1/4 the duration of the original marriage. Let's say she stays married for 3 or 4 years, then divorces the Pig and gets 1 year of 50% alimony. That's only something like $60K, let's say - leaving aside her own tahxes and whatnot.
Compare that to the benefits she gets from being Phil's roommate. About $2K/month in free rent, plus free robust adult food, a free car to drive, free cat food, and whatever luxuries Phil buys her in an attempt to keep her affection meter above zero.
That $60K payout is worth only a few years of that.
Further, recall that by divorcing, she locks herself out of inheriting the Khando and any other windfalls Dave might accrue between now and his gout going supercritical. She gets only what's in the divorce agreement.

It just doesn't make sense to me financially. I don't think Kat will ever divorce Phil unless he becomes abusive (she might get tired of having to kick his ass) or goes flat broke.

 

[gin_nose]

While agree Kat really has no reason to leave if she can tolerate him (which oddly it seems she can), the one X factor is he is making her work a minimum wage retail job. I can guarantee she fucking hates having to work that job. If some guy comes along with the promise that she wont need to work, I can see her jumping ship quite quickly. However, I doubt that is goign to happen.

One nice thing regarding the eventual divorce saga is I believe we will get all the juicy details straight from the Pig's mouth. Phil is a hopeless over sharer, he has to dump all his personal details on to the internet turned into a flex, no matter how bad it makes him look. I strongly believe the ONLY reason Phil isnt telling us all the details about him and Kat is because of Kat. The one positive effect she has had on him is she is adamant that he keep his mouth shut regarding their personal life. Its hilarious too because he still cant help himself and still over shares their personal details but he is trying his best and she probably reminds him daily and gets on him daily when he doesnt comply. She wants to play sky rim in her personal bedroom in peace without trolls knowing the details. When she is out of the picture that lid comes off and Phil has multiple years worth of over sharing to catch up on. Its going to be glorious.

 

[Kosher Dill]

the one X factor is he is making her work a minimum wage retail job. I can guarantee she fucking hates having to work that job. If some guy comes along with the promise that she wont need to work, I can see her jumping ship quite quickly.

I don't know that he's making her do it though. Phil's always been adamant that Kat doesn't contribute a penny to the household expenses, and I think I believe that. She could easily quit her job if she wanted. Just sell it to Phil as "being a full time housewife" and he'll consider it a trophy of robust maturity.
I suspect she keeps the job of her own free will, just to save some money that's hers alone, get out of the snort fort a bit, and maintain a steady record of employment in case she ever really needs a job.
Phil's line about her having "debts of her own" might even be true - she might be working to pay that off since he certainly wouldn't help with that.

 

[Fapcop]

Eternal alimony is mostly a dead meme from the '70s and '80s - in most states it doesn't work that way anymore. According to my tahx attorney from Connecticut, Washington state alimony typically only lasts something like 1/4 the duration of the original marriage.

You’re right that “eternal alimony” is rare unless there are kids involved.

However, in Khat’s case there are factors that definitely would weigh heavily in her benefit. (Especially if she can make it past the three or five year mark!).

*Everything Phil earned while married is considered joint income.

*Khat married young.

*Little education, no career prospects.

*Huuuuge income disparity.

Basically a divorce court here would say: “For how long does Phil need to support her, while she gets her shit together, and what would be a fair way to split all the money he earned while she sat at home or worked retail”.

No, Phil wouldn’t pay for a decade, but given Khat’s circumstances 4-5K a month for as many years or 2/3s of the years they have been married, wouldn’t be unusual. Especially in a Seattle court!

As for killing the golden goose? Exactly how much of Phil’s $10K+ does Khat get to see? Not much I’ll bet you.

As for the Wahkando? Phil could easily slither on for another 20-30 years. That is a looong ass time to wait for a payday.

(And Khat strikes me as the type to have real fears about being replaced with a newer, hotter model down the road.)

Phil's always been adamant that Kat doesn't contribute a penny to the household expenses, and I think I believe that.

Big X on that one. That is what Phil HAS to say to keep more money coming in.

And what exactly are “Khat’s money” going towards?

Of course their finances are pretty much a black hole. Only made even more mysterious by the fact that Phil is always complaining how he “doesn’t see enough of her” yet could easily afford to keep her trapped as a “homemaker” in Fort Snort.

EDIT: The most logical reasons for Khat “working her ass off” are:

A: Actively trying to spend as little time with Phil as possible.

B: Phil’s mom worked, so therefore Phil demanded that his mo-eh-wife also works.

 

[Kosher Dill]

*Khat married young.

*Little education, no career prospects.

Is marrying at 28 considered "young" now?
She may not have much of a career, but she had one, and she continued it the whole time she was married. This isn't one of those cases where a girl married right out of school, dropped out of the workforce to be a housewife for 30 years, and then got divorced and thrown out into the job market with a blank CV.
As for Burnell Enterprises, I think the usual reasoning in divorce cases is that when a couple marries and then one of them gets rich, the gains during marriage are attributed to both of them. But Phil already had his grift solidly established before ever crossing paths with Kat.
Like, yes it's Seattle, and yes it's clown world, but I just don't see this as the kind of case where they'd go high in awarding alimony.

As for the Wahkando? Phil could easily slither on for another 20-30 years. That is a looong ass time to wait for a payday.

It could easily be 20-30 more years of free housing and lifestyle though, with a prize at the end. That's worth a lot when you add it all up.
I'm willing to be convinced otherwise, but give me some numbers. How does Kat come out ahead by roasting the pig for a few years, compared to milking the current situation for a few decades?

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I think Khet works for the same reason Phil says he works, to appear like/convince themself they are a mature adult who accomplishes something every day. I'd wager that's also part of why she married Phil.

A divorce saga could still certainly happen, but I think we're getting our hopes up too much about the end result. It would for sure hurt Phil, but I think people will be disappointed if it doesn't end up with Phil somehow penniless and living on the streets because Khet was playing 5-D chess this whole time.

 

[Fapcop]

I'm willing to be convinced otherwise, but give me some numbers. How does Kat come out ahead by roasting the pig for a few years, compared to milking the current situation for a few decades?

You’re assuming Khat is dumb enough to think that the current situation will “last decades”.

And I don’t think she is. Khat tried to get into streaming, she can see his steadily falling viewer and subscriber numbers.

Khat probably also knows that Phil will never sell Fort Snort, his one tangible achievement.

Unless she’s a complete smoothbrain, she’ll know that a decade from now, Phil will make a few hundred dollars per week/month on his streams. And she’ll be the main breadwinner, because Phil will be 50 and damn near unemployable. (And would probably refuse working.)

So it’s get out soon, while the alimony will still be fat, or spend her 40ies and 50ies being Phil’s little Clydesdale horse, working to put food on the table.


And as for Alimony, here are some of the factors that come into play that are particularly relevant for Phil and Khat:

(https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/wa/divorce)

1. your financial resources, including the property you got in the divorce, your ability to independently meet your needs, and how much child support you may be getting;
2. how much time you need to get the education or training you need to get a job that meets your skills, interests, lifestyle, and other circumstances;
3. the way you and your spouse lived while married (“standard of living”);

A court would typically not let Phil off the hook, given those three points, and let a part time retail worker just get by as best she can, without significant spousal support for at least a few years.

(Yes, length of marriage also comes into play. But the court would most likely take the income disparity, Phil’s six figure income and the fact that he owns a house heavily into consideration and let that weigh heavier than the length of time they were married.)

And of course from Phil’s perspective, the amount he’d have to pay every month isn’t that important. He’d cry and moan and beg just as hard about 1000$ as he would about 5000$.

 

[Full Race Replay]

I bet Phil keeps Kat in the dark about his finances though. For being the compulsive liar that he is in addition to being overprotective and manipulative bordering on abusive of women in his life, there is no chance he doesn't withold information from her. He got her to go on stream with him and then said Kat was "shocked" to see how much trolling there was. She probably doesn't know anything more than we do (and probably even less, because kiwi farmers are many things but not lazy and complacent) and wouldn't have anything to tell the court like @Fapcop says.

 

[DZoomer]

I bet Phil keeps Kat in the dark about his finances though. For being the compulsive liar that he is in addition to being overprotective and manipulative bordering on abusive of women in his life, there is no chance he doesn't withold information from her. He got her to go on stream with him and then said Kat was "shocked" to see how much trolling there was. She probably doesn't know anything more than we do (and probably even less, because kiwi farmers are many things but not lazy and complacent) and wouldn't have anything to tell the court like @Fapcop says.

I'm personally on the camp that believes that Kat has read a lot of our posts here. The reason is quite simple: Kat couldn't take her eyes off of the chat when she was on stream. Her life is as uneventful as Phil's, I doubt she's never come here to read this thread.

Whether she's read the other threads about Phil's finances, well, I'm not sure.