Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[SmokeyMcRunFast]

Is there any way that they could make a profit off of Alpaca ranching? Or rather, is there any way that a group of competent people could make a profit off of Alpaca ranching?

Possibly getting into specialty yarn and knitted items could work. The internet has made doing something like that much more doable.

 

[Miss Misery]

Possibly getting into specialty yarn and knitted items could work. The internet has made doing something like that much more doable.

Their Etsy shop has had a total of 475 sales. If you're generous and assume that they're getting $30 per sale, that's less than $1,500 $15,000, thank you @Casta Spersions!*

None of that is profit. How much is hay? How much is the shearing? How much is the fiber processing? All of which is outsourced - meaning they pay for it because they're unable to do it themselves.

* Edit: I am a math retard: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...er-tenacious-unicorn-ranch.65259/post-8323892

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Competent people seem to run theirs as a 501(c)(3)

I hope they see this part and encourage them to form one. I want IRS lawyers to have to read Kevin's Twitter account into a court record.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Or they can pray the USDA redefines alpaca as a meat animal so they can sell tasty steaks.

What does alpaca meat even taste like? I've heard bad things about camel, and next to nothing about llama.

Regardless, I wouldn't buy a Tranch alpaca steak even if alpaca tasted like butter and the steak came with a free blowjob. I know what those troons did to that poor animal. I'm not eating it.

 

[RollingRock]

This guy lives on a rural property and started farming chicken geese and ducks as a side hustle. Here he goes over the numbers for his small farm. Do you want to guess how much he profited in a year? $5087. And he raises animals you can actually sell for food. I have no idea who is footing the bill for the tranch but it will never, ever be profitable.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

What does alpaca meat even taste like? I've heard bad things about camel, and next to nothing about llama.

A few sites compare it to venison. Somewhere between that and beef looks common from a quick search.

 

[Chewing Character]

I did a dive on this a couple of weeks ago. The ones that say it's like beef (but "sweeter") are also desperate to tell you how low in cholesterol it is. I don't trust them. The ones that say venison or elk I believe. I'd be curious to try it, but not tranch alpaca. Not amhole alpaca. No way.

We could probably ask Penny and Bonnie themselves, considering the sheer number of deepfrozen alpaca corpses that had to be disposed of somehow. Seriously, there's no way they're feeding 5+ overweight/obese men doing backbreaking labor on Hot Pockets and hope.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

We could probably ask Penny and Bonnie themselves, considering the sheer number of deepfrozen alpaca corpses that had to be disposed of somehow. Seriously, there's no way they're feeding 5+ overweight/obese men doing backbreaking labor on Hot Pockets and hope.

This really is an Alpaca POW Camp, isn’t it?

 

[the khat quaffer]

Also: The brass balls on Kevin to say that no one should say anything "bad" about him ebegging. It's not YOUR MONEY, Kevin. Someone is GRACIOUSLY sharing with you resources you haven't earned--they--and everyone else--has not only the right...but a DUTY to tell you what they think.

I can't find the post, it was a few pages back, and I'm tired of searching. But Kevin recently complained about how people have the audacity to call him out for e-begging while he has toys and kid shit on his shelf. His wording was something like, 'omg so APPARENTLY if you need financial help from others you're not allowed to have any luxuries at all?! ridiculous!!'

Now that statement is actually pretty tame. Yes Kevin, you CAN simultaneously have nice, maybe even expensive things that you acquired during better times and still humbly ask others for assistance. No one expects you to sell your car, bed, or 1/12-carat boggle trophies from the 90s if you're going around asking for money.

The thing is.... You're CONSTANTLY BUYING NEW, USELESS SHIT DAY IN DAY OUT. You gleefully advertise your pre-orders for every piece of expensive chink plastic you can get your hands on. If you really need help for all those nebulous medical bills, don't do so then immediately tell people that you just pre-ordered more toys/video games/hideous fanart commissions. This shameless grifting is far from the most despicable thing that this rotting ogre does, but for some reason, it rubs me the wrong way personally, having grown up poor.

Don't get me wrong - I know it's utterly pointless to reason with any of these imbeciles. Their status as a voluntarily castrated tranny monster precludes rational thinking to begin with. Never mind the fact that I believe you shouldn't get to ask for donations unless you aren't exerting yourself in all possible ways to acquire the money yourself in the first place. Even Kevin, with his stink ditch, hemorrhoid donuts, and near-zero willingness to perform any kind of physical labor, could find a way to make money by coding or designing websites or...I dunno, using some of those tablets and drawing... "skills"?

The Artwork of Kevin Gibes

kevingibes.tumblr.com

 

[Hymlenis572]

I did a dive on this a couple of weeks ago. The ones that say it's like beef (but "sweeter") are also desperate to tell you how low in cholesterol it is. I don't trust them. The ones that say venison or elk I believe. I'd be curious to try it, but not tranch alpaca. Not amhole alpaca. No way.

You can probably find answers on Peruvian sites, it's where they're from anyways, but that Elk comparision does make sense.

 

[Easy Peasy]

They could always turn it in to jerky and call it terf-Ky. Sell it to fellow brain worm infested idiots


(Sorry alpacas, you deserve better)

 

[glass_houses]

We could probably ask Penny and Bonnie themselves, considering the sheer number of deepfrozen alpaca corpses that had to be disposed of somehow. Seriously, there's no way they're feeding 5+ overweight/obese men doing backbreaking labor on Hot Pockets and hope.

Slaughtering and butchering a beast requires a bit of know how and hard work... I suspect that they're just slinging the carcasses to the wolves or else, just stacking them up out of sight somewhere. Because there's absolutely an ongoing death toll with the alpacas, just like there is with every other animal on the tranch.

 

[Enoby Way]

Basically what I'm getting from all of this is that the tranch could be fairly profitable if they, in order of difficulty:

1. Sold alpaca shit
2. Imported high quality alpaca fibre from peru and sold it an insanely marked up price, pretending it came from Tranch alpacas, thus letting the alpacas keep their coats and avoiding the costs of spinning and fiddling around with optimum conditions for wool growth etc.
3. Set up an alpaca petting zoo and gift shop

Asking people to sponsor an alpaca for $50 a month is like the one smart thing the tranchers have done.

Fuck, I feel like *I* could run an alpaca rescue on this alone.

Also, Josie is supposed to be in charge of their agricultural stuff, are they using alpaca manure to fertilise things? I haven't heard anything about it.

 

[SmokeyMcRunFast]

Basically what I'm getting from all of this is that the tranch could be fairly profitable if they, in order of difficulty:

1. Sold alpaca shit
2. Imported high quality alpaca fibre from peru and sold it an insanely marked up price, pretending it came from Tranch alpacas, thus letting the alpacas keep their coats and avoiding the costs of spinning and fiddling around with optimum conditions for wool growth etc.
3. Set up an alpaca petting zoo and gift shop

Asking people to sponsor an alpaca for $50 a month is like the one smart thing the tranchers have done.

Fuck, I feel like *I* could run an alpaca rescue on this alone.

Also, Josie is supposed to be in charge of their agricultural stuff, are they using alpaca manure to fertilise things? I haven't heard anything about it.

Not if those pictures that were posted are accurate. That was a lot of bare dirt for a place that is supposedly a large hay producing area. I’m betting they haven’t cross fenced at all and are just turning all of the alpacas loose in 1 large pasture. That is a fast way to soil compaction and killing all the growth keeping the topsoil in place.

 

[lfaw]

the "trans people are allowed to have luxuries" defense (wrt: ebegging) falls out the window when you always mention that you need the money for "bills", kevin. just say that you need the money for some plastic children's toys and at least you'd be honest about the garbage you're looking to buy.

 

[Chewing Character]

Slaughtering and butchering a beast requires a bit of know how and hard work... I suspect that they're just slinging the carcasses to the wolves or else, just stacking them up out of sight somewhere. Because there's absolutely an ongoing death toll with the alpacas, just like there is with every other animal on the tranch.

It's unlikely the wolf sanctuary (if they're a genuine nonprofit Save the Animals kind of place) would take the alpaca carcasses.

I know they took the ranch's chicken carcasses in the past, but chicken is much more commonly fed to captive carnivores, and we know it can be part of a balanced diet for them. Chicken also takes up significantly less space, even before processing.

Not only would storing unprocessed alpacas take up precious freezer space, but the diets of these animals are heavily monitored; some animal sanctuaries don't even take meat like bison and venison and stick to a USDA approved diet of poultry, mutton, pork, and beef only. Sketchy alpaca meat from the weird smelling tranchers next door is not going to cut it; even if they accepted it just to be polite, it was likely thrown out once inspected. If they did feed the wolves the alpaca meat, it would be genuinely concerning.

Yes, it was a shitpost to say they're eating the alpaca, but you're absolutely right- there has to be a body pile somewhere. If I remember correctly, they went from 200+ alpaca to ~100 in their last interview. (We really need a Lou Gagliardi IPad count for the animals on the ranch)

Unless they're reselling some animals for spare cash, I genuinely do not know how they could get rid of that many alpaca without some sort of shit going on, and I don't see the fluff media being willing to hide a 100 paca corpse tall monument to sin.

 

[Monolith]

He is a manlett after all.
He's under 5ft 5 in skates.
And afaik it's a popular fancanon but not canon. Though idgaf enough about brazilian frog boy to pay attention to his character.
I'm hoping the black chick they will release in OW2 is a tranny for maximum salt potential

Ok sorry for OT sperging.

To be fair, my only source was a meme.

 

[remiem]

Basically what I'm getting from all of this is that the tranch could be fairly profitable if they, in order of difficulty:

1. Sold alpaca shit
2. Imported high quality alpaca fibre from peru and sold it an insanely marked up price, pretending it came from Tranch alpacas, thus letting the alpacas keep their coats and avoiding the costs of spinning and fiddling around with optimum conditions for wool growth etc.
3. Set up an alpaca petting zoo and gift shop

Asking people to sponsor an alpaca for $50 a month is like the one smart thing the tranchers have done.

Fuck, I feel like *I* could run an alpaca rescue on this alone.

Also, Josie is supposed to be in charge of their agricultural stuff, are they using alpaca manure to fertilise things? I haven't heard anything about it.

Imo. The petting and gift shop is what a friend of mine did with his. His were pets, mostly, and then he built the little shop on his house as something for the wife and kids to do/to write off home expenses as business partially.

They did ok with it but they only ever had like? 12.

The sheer size of the herd and all the other animals is the biggest problem here. It's creating a resource strain on an already low resource area.

 

[Law]

It's creating a resource strain on an already low resource area.

Just like Penny's dating life.
You have no time to spend with the "girlfriends" you already have, why trawl Tindr for more?
Herd management people! Barren scrubland, and Penny's icy narcissistic heart, can't support these kinda numbers!

 

[Enoby Way]

Imo. The petting and gift shop is what a friend of mine did with his. His were pets, mostly, and then he built the little shop on his house as something for the wife and kids to do/to write off home expenses as business partially.

They did ok with it but they only ever had like? 12.

The sheer size of the herd and all the other animals is the biggest problem here. It's creating a resource strain on an already low resource area.

I take your point. Yeah, they really need new grounds. Which afaik they are still trying to get.

Anyone know how to get geographical/soil composition maps of a US area? I am wondering if the particular plot the tranch is situated on might just be too rocky for anything to grow--or it might be a combination of rockier than normal soil plus previous inhabitants over-farming.