Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

Unironically though, therapy would probably change nothing. He acts like he's listening whenever someone gives him advice, but he's just listening to sick metal riffs in his head. Cobes will never do something if he doesn't want to do it, and since he has less time preference than a magpie he'll never want to change. The closest he gets is saying "I'll only have four beers tonight and save the rest for tomorrow" and even then he fails.
I think he's destined to burn out like a rockstar badboy and no one can stop him.

Oh yeah, he's lizardbrained 100% at this point. I think if seperate3d from the alcohol he'd be "ok" (as far as the rest of his degenerate social circle is concerned), but he doesn't have a bright future at all.

On a positive(?) note, enough of these drunken streams, and Homedad might actually be able to have a court put him in a group home.

 

[JohnnyGun]

If you're new to the cobraverse before cobes biffed it he was already tard raging at his inability to play the national anthem. He has been trying to learn it for 10 years.

I was watching the stream last night as he was trying to play it, I brought up the tab and learned it in about 1 1/2 minutes the version he is attempting is unbelievably easy, I don't understand how you would not be able to remember it after trying for literally a decade.

 

[Chickenburgerfan]

View attachment 2567096
Ok here's a cut of Josh tripping on his gothic throne worn out prospector hat. Probably the funniest yet saddest thing I have ever seen.

I had to lol I sit n wach him and think what a muppet me is and I bet he stinks and his hood cheese will be ripe for his food he cooks. Bbbrrrr yuk gags

 

[The Heartthrob]

He sounds so much like Tourette's Guy in that clip lmfao

 

[Thomas Highway]

On a positive(?) note, enough of these drunken streams, and Homedad might actually be able to have a court put him in a group home.

There will be no Clintervention.

Dark Lord is on his own and must rely on his magic.

Also weird Discord cabal paypigs.

 

[Synthwave Obsessed]

I'm confused on whether I should laugh or feel bad. On one hand, this is some of the funniest shit I've seen and it's clipped to the perfect length to not overstay its welcome. On the other hand, it is depressing what uncontrolled alcoholism does to a person. The toddler-esque outrage is so on-brand for someone who lets the bottle control them. Ah well, like how the last drop from the bottle is drunk, eventually there will be a breaking point for this person where he cannot continue. Even functional alcoholics reach a point where some cosmic force intervenes and either extinguishes their life or they choose to try again.

For now, I guess I should laugh. I've seen people on this website make references to this person, though I didn't understand them. Perhaps it's time I take a dive into more lunacy and see what awaits me.

 

[Thomas Highway]

I'm confused on whether I should laugh or feel bad. On one hand, this is some of the funniest shit I've seen and it's clipped to the perfect length to not overstay its welcome. On the other hand, it is depressing what uncontrolled alcoholism does to a person. The toddler-esque outrage is so on-brand for someone who lets the bottle control them. Ah well, like how the last drop from the bottle is drunk, eventually there will be a breaking point for this person where he cannot continue. Even functional alcoholics reach a point where some cosmic force intervenes and either extinguishes their life or they choose to try again.

For now, I guess I should laugh. I've seen people on this website make references to this person, though I didn't understand them. Perhaps it's time I take a dive into more lunacy and see what awaits me.

Laugh.

Josh has had many, many chances to take a different path. He chose this.

While Dark Lord isn't a bad person, he definitely isn't a good one either.

Would you want to be his neighbor?

 

[µCeph]

What genetic disorder does this guy have? Serious question. I've seen a couple of people with a similar facial structure and eye alignment.

FAS has long been the speculation, but his father posted a few times on the subreddit and claims that he definitely doesnt have FAS. He could just be lying, but if you look at pictures of teenage/early 20s Josh he looks much healthier despite still having a lazy eye. The better part of two decades of alcoholism and smoking K2 will do that to you.

 

[Synthwave Obsessed]

Would you want to be his neighbor?

Absolutely fucking not. I have had turbo spergs as neighbors before. As in the type that gets a megaphone and yells random things at you from the window and thinks you're stalking them because you carried this week's trash to the dumpster. They moved out after sperging at the rental office about everyone stalking them and letting them "not just live their life!!1!" I saw the maintenance team bringing in buckets of what I assume plaster, so I'm pretty sure they were putting holes in the walls. Their antics made for some cheap entertainment, but it was certainly annoying to become the target of this retard. To this day, I don't know why their mom ever let them live alone with how often she had to tard wrangle and apologise to the nearby residents.

Hard pass.

 

[Thomas Highway]

Josh is an asshole. While he's mostly harmless, he's also a major annoyance to anyone around him who is even remotely normal.

This is why there will never be a Clintervention.

 

[Minecraft Axolotl]

I've been re-watching him tripping, dropping his cig and screaming all day and it never fails to get a laugh out of me

 

[TheGooGooMuck]

For the new people here. Josh does sperg out from time to time (one has been immortalized on the KF background), but this temper tantrum is off the scale. These days Cobes mostly gets drunk at 9am and 'tells it like it is' while watching youtube videos geared towards incels and then passes out. Unfortunately, Cobra has had a shitty week and I think we're seeing the result of that.

Selling "wands" and merch are the two main sources of booze money and probably the only thing he actually takes pride in doing. Earlier this week his Esty store was suspended because he fucked up shipping a wand and never checks his inbox. Then immediately afterwards his tee spring is shut down for copyright violation. To get his Esty back he will need to refund the wand money. Unfortunately, Josh has raised the price of his wands and owes ~$200 for the refund. It might surprise you, but our boy Cobra isn't too bright and even worse when it comes to money.

His finances are somewhere above a homeless man but somewhere below a 16 year old. He'll probably need to rely on his paypigs but something weird has been going on with his inner sanctum on discord. I don't keep up with that drama but they were suspected of doxxing him recently.

Our boy always bounces back though. So mote it be.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

For the new people here. Josh does sperg out from time to time (one has been immortalized on the KF background), but this temper tantrum is off the scale. These days Cobes mostly gets drunk at 9am and 'tells it like it is' while watching youtube videos geared towards incels and then passes out. Unfortunately, Cobra has had a shitty week and I think we're seeing the result of that.

Selling "wands" and merch are the two main sources of booze money and probably the only thing he actually takes pride in doing. Earlier this week his Esty store was suspended because he fucked up shipping a wand and never checks his inbox. Then immediately afterwards his tee spring is shut down for copyright violation. To get his Esty back he will need to refund the wand money. Unfortunately, Josh has raised the price of his wands and owes ~$200 for the refund. It might surprise you, but our boy Cobra isn't too bright and even worse when it comes to money.

His finances are somewhere above a homeless man but somewhere below a 16 year old. He'll probably need to rely on his paypigs but something weird has been going on with his inner sanctum on discord. I don't keep up with that drama but they were suspected of doxxing him recently.

Our boy always bounces back though. So mote it be.

I feel like a lot of new people are going to expect this is how he normally is and be sorely disappointed when the next couple are "boring".

Jord is a Watch and Wait cow, patience is rewarded.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

Oh yeah, he's lizardbrained 100% at this point. I think if seperate3d from the alcohol he'd be "ok" (as far as the rest of his degenerate social circle is concerned), but he doesn't have a bright future at all.

On a positive(?) note, enough of these drunken streams, and Homedad might actually be able to have a court put him in a group home.

Yeah. If someone could pull him away from alcohol and fucking Terrence Popp he'd be ok.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

I'm confused on whether I should laugh or feel bad.

Laugh. Alcoholics deserve your unfiltered mockery until they sober up and stop acting like retards.

 

[DaveSydeBennet]

I think the only thing that could’ve made this better is if he was still streaming on Facebook. You’d be able to see Clint’s disappointment in real time as friends and family alike would be able to see Josh biff it behind his chair.

 

[Phantom_FUZZ]

Yeah. If someone could pull him away from alcohol and fucking Terrence Popp he'd be ok.

The Terrence popp streams are so fucking annoying how is that dude any kind of popular with his generic hot takes you'd hear in a bar from any average drunk.

 

[RollingRock]

art

I expect more remixes from the fall

 

[Xenomorph]

GAWDAMMMNNNNITTTT
Nice baby carp tantrum, Jord.

He needs to stop that T. Popp BUUUUUTTT, jfc stop.

 

[Belvedere]

This dude looks like he is about to drop dead at any moment and is going to be livestreamed when it happens.