Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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UncommonParlence said:
I don't know which contribution is my fav. Prolly gas relief pellets? Or cough drops? No, it's gotta be the marshmallows on the wrong table. Cobeson would obviously add beer to the mix.
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I’m like 80% sure the dude who just meowed dumped cat treats into the bowl. Bless their hearts.

Josh would be off camera the whole time whining going “do I have to?” While the handlers silently reassured and encourage him. He’d finally relent when everybody else has gone and there was an awkward pause before walking up to the bowl groaning and stress sighing “oh my fucking god dood” before pulling a scrunched up bag of tobacco, taking out a pinch and aggressively tossing it in the bowl muttering “I brought pipe tobacco” as he walked out of frame in embarrassed frustration
 
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Dil Pickle said:
You might need a refresher course on your JFS lore. This is the same man that buttfucked a woman in the back of a van while he was in his first and only decent relationship with a nice (from what I can tell) woman
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Wasn't he drunk/high at the time? Fits into the first exception.
 
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Wasn't he drunk/high at the time? Fits into the first exception.
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Agares said:
He claims he was with couch Chris and cigarettes were involved in part of the deal. Some people think he made it up but it sounds like it could've actually happened by early Cobraverse standards.
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Josh's story of events, in bullet points:
  • Josh and Chris were driving somewhere one night in Chris' van when the van blows a tire. Whether or not Kayla(the pregnant woman Josh fucked) was riding with them at the time is uncertain.
  • Chris leaves to fill up the air in his spare tire.
  • Josh probably starts to have a smoke, whereupon Kayla offers, half-jokingly, to suck his dick for one.
  • After much deliberation, Josh decides to do so. Josh is dating Stephanie at the time, but it's a long-distance relationship as Stephanie is still taking her course at Job Corps.
  • Chris returns at some point during this act, and they supposedly double-team her.
Most of this has come out piece by piece over the years, as late as Josh's "Rebirth" in 2017.
EDIT: Wrong name, I mixed up some of the mentally ill single moms that Josh seems to attract.
 
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Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
Josh's story of events, in bullet points:
  • Josh and Chris were driving somewhere one night in Chris' van when the van blows a tire. Whether or not Ami(the pregnant woman Josh fucked) was riding with them at the time is uncertain.
  • Chris leaves to fill up the air in his spare tire.
  • Josh probably starts to have a smoke, whereupon Ami offers, half-jokingly, to suck his dick for one.
  • After much deliberation, Josh decides to do so. Josh is dating Stephanie at the time, but it's a long-distance relationship as Stephanie is still taking her course at Job Corps.
  • Chris returns at some point during this act, and they supposedly double-team her.
Most of this has come out piece by piece over the years, as late as Josh's "Rebirth" in 2017.
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Cobes always had a way with slowly revealing what happened. From evictions to IRL incidents. I can see old Josh deliberate over dick sucking too because he was way more cognizant back then.

This info probably belongs on the wiki.
 
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i can see the lot lizard jokingly offering to suck his dick for a cigarette. Josh, having the brain of a retarded 13 year old, morphs this idea into a lie about having sex. Than halfway through he realises that Couch Chris is also there, so it turns into an Eiffel Tower situation.

Think it’s bullshit because he’s so homophobic. Hell, he looks away when another guy takes his shirt off near him. No way some dude is going to have his dick out near him and he’s still plowing that puss
 
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The van fuck incident is always dismissed as one of his lies, but I believe it. When it happened Josh wasn't completely fucked up, any more than Chris was. And even Warlord now has little difficulty having sex. Of any of his stories, some street rat throwing him pussy when he was at his absolute peak sounds believable. Particularly since his lies tend to make him look better and better as time goes on and he adds more and more details, whereas "I took Chris' sloppy seconds" has remained the same each time he's told it.
 
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semitooth said:
I miss cobra :(
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Me too. See you on the flip side, space cowboy.

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