Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Bixby Snyder said:
If Ozzy dies he’s going to vanish for like a week and come back looking like straight fucking death
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Ozzy was able to stave off major declines in health for a long time. When covid hit and his physical injuries worsen, it pretty much wrecked what was left of his mobility and physical strength, and that made the rest of his health deteriorate even faster, on top of the Parkinsons.

At this point in his life, and I say this as a fan myself, he's pretty much useless. Can't walk, can't take care of himself, can barely sing, doesn't talk much. This last gig won't be much of a gig for him, more of just a music community giving praise one final time to a legend. The fact is, I don't see him lasting to 2027 and that is being generous honestly. I am prepared to see that sad headline pop up on my X feed.

On the bright side, cancer survivor Tony Iommi just turned 77 and looks amazing.
 
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Agares said:
Much to the relief of anyone who'd otherwise be stuck on a plane with the boglim. The smell would be bad enough but imagine the tantrum he'd throw when the flight attendants cut him off for being too drunk.
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On July 5th, 2025, a man carrying a large wizard staff purchased a one-way ticket to Birmingham, England using cash. On his ticket, the man listed his name as "Jorx Saundeux", but this is widely believed to have been a misinterpretation of the indecipherable handwriting. Eyewitnesses described Cooper as a white male in his mid-50s, with long, dark hair, wearing all-black Black Sabbath clothing, balding, and with breath that smelled "like Hell warmed over". Bystanders also noted that "that goth dude smells good".  Saundeux boarded the flight carrying a Doordash grocery bag, widely-believed to have contained a gallon of bottom-shelf gas station vodka.  Saundeux boarded the flight and took seat 18-E in the last row and ordered a drink, a full-can of Monster Energy Rehab Green Tea mixed with pink champagne. Eyewitnesses state that Saundeux insisted on using his own glass, a 'Potion Time' glass that was green and very faded. He also mixed the combination of girly beverages with the vodka.

Shortly after takeoff, Saundeux handed a note to flight attendant Schaffner, who was sitting in the jump seat at the rear of the airplane,  directly behind Saundeux. Assuming the note was a lonely goth's telephone number, Schaffner dropped the note unopened into her purse. Saundeux then leaned toward her and whispered, "You'd better look at that note. I have a bomb, yessth. It is what it is.". At this point, it is widely-understood that Saundeux began a YouTube livestream showing his next actions.

For approximately seven minutes of the thirty-seven minute flight, Jorx Saundeux slammed his mildew-infused hat against seat 18-E, ranted about gender relations, complained that Ozzy Osbourne was only going to mumble along to "Paranoid" and then started to ask Schaffner about her "walnut".

At 3:32pm, Jorx Saundeux took a parachute from the cockpit of the plane and ejected just as the plane flew over Villa Park, Birmingham. Surveillance footage shows him landing on the main stage of Villa Park where he began to pull Ozzy Osbourne from his wheelchair and force him to sing along to "Iron Man". Ozzy Osbourne is believed to have died shortly, where "Jorx Saundeux" quickly made his escape through the back of the main stage.
 
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Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
On the flipside, Cobes on a cruise ship would be the funniest shit. Imagine all the terrifying antics Josh would get up to on some cheap cruise liner across 5-6 days, given how much the average cruise goer seems to drink.
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Drinks cost anywhere from 10 to 20$ EACH on a cruise, and you're not allowed to bring your own alcohol on the ship. Even if you buy it at a port, you have to declare it and they lock it up to give to you after the cruise.

Edit: alcohol is how cruises make money. Clint will have to reverse mortgage his house and the bogtrailer after that 50k drink bill.
 
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NoodleFucker3000 said:
Drinks cost anywhere from 10 to 20$ EACH on a cruise, and you're not allowed to bring your own alcohol on the ship. Even if you buy it at a port, you have to declare it and they lock it up to give to you after the cruise.

Edit: alcohol is how cruises make money. Clint will have to reverse mortgage his house and the bogtrailer after that 50k drink bill.
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They aren't all inclusive? Damn. TMDNWTFIU
 
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NoodleFucker3000 said:
Drinks cost anywhere from 10 to 20$ EACH on a cruise, and you're not allowed to bring your own alcohol on the ship. Even if you buy it at a port, you have to declare it and they lock it up to give to you after the cruise.

Edit: alcohol is how cruises make money. Clint will have to reverse mortgage his house and the bogtrailer after that 50k drink bill.
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You can bring 1 bottle of wine per adult.

You can also get drink packages which help with the price.
 
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Goatchoker said:
You can bring 1 bottle of wine per adult.

You can also get drink packages which help with the price.
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Seeing the boy sitting in a deck chair at the exact same angle as he does now as people walk past and he loops about the drinks prices would be so funny.

He really needs something like that, I feel. Like a regarded version of that Idiot Abroad show.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
No he did not. Josh has not flown since he was a small child, he is terrified of flying. All holidays have been by car.
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You know how when you're flying it's uncomfortable when your ears pop from air pressure changes? Imagine that but it's the methane pockets trapped under his rotten teeth and in his dying liver that expand, that would be excruciating. No wonder the boy doesn't want to fly.
 
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NoodleFucker3000 said:
Drinks cost anywhere from 10 to 20$ EACH on a cruise, and you're not allowed to bring your own alcohol on the ship. Even if you buy it at a port, you have to declare it and they lock it up to give to you after the cruise.

Edit: alcohol is how cruises make money. Clint will have to reverse mortgage his house and the bogtrailer after that 50k drink bill.
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Drink packages are the only way to go on a cruise ship. There is no way they would take a cruise and not spend the $200-$300 on a drink package. Also you can sneak liquor on pretty easily in your luggage when boarding.
 
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Yarr me hearties, do Capn' Clint be a bad captain? Should First Mate Josh be set on a plague ship?
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Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
Yarr me hearties, do Capn' Clint be a bad captain? Should First Mate Josh be set on a plague ship?
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Nay, he be 80% a subject of His Majesty cast adrift by the Cap'n's absconding to Ireland for sodomite dances.

Tis' fitting a grupe of pirates is called a nesst, not unlike the den of his nomen "King Cobra" with which he hath styl't himself.
 
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Crunkle said:
Seeing the boy sitting in a deck chair at the exact same angle as he does now as people walk past and he loops about the drinks prices would be so funny.

He really needs something like that, I feel. Like a regarded version of that Idiot Abroad show.
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With the way that man has been waddling as of late, he's going overboard.
 
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