Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[charlesdickens]

He's never buying a prostitute. He already has gone back and says sex dolls are disgusting and wouldn't buy one despite owning a few himself. Even that whole saga showed what a piece of shit he was to vap0r and his viewers and how much of a fucking creep he is about Alicia Rohde.

Giving him money is a complete waste, he's literally retarded. When he gets money that isn't immediately gone to alcohol and fast food, he becomes insanely smug and insufferable.

I want this to sound like not gatekeeping as I've watched Josh since his guitar insite days, but anyone who has latched onto Cobra in the past two years or so, it's like a completely different person. It's the same shit all the time, gender relations speeches over some kind of identity politics rage porn. There have been some funny moments over the past two years, but it's just not worth the return of time spent watching a retarded person giving mild takes based on a reality rooted in a Home Improvement 90s sitcoms over a Terrance Popp video.

I just can't imagine getting into Josh in the past couple of years like so many have and sticking around, even for the TikTok and summer crowd. The wind died down a while ago. Wasting three hours just on a hope for him to get black out drunk or angry on camera just isn't worth it. I can wait for the teeth to fall out or the new tax rules to fuck him, but there's very little spotaneity in the Cobraverse when he became a full-blown alcoholic working on his gender relations degree.


Edit: While on the topic I guess, Josh is destined to die Ulysses S Grant style. Grant kept getting cigars sent to him from his fans and he eventually died of throat cancer. Piggies send Josh money for alcohol and of course that's going to cause his death. Josh Saunders, sacrificial retard.

 

[tony tortellini]

He was at his best when the concept of don’t tap the glass was still a thing. I feel pity for him because the lolcow streamer path he’s going down is dark.

 

[tinycreamcorn]

He was at his best when the concept of don’t tap the glass was still a thing. I feel pity for him because the lolcow streamer path he’s going down is dark.

you shouldn't... he's had a million opportunities to turn his life around but he is continually feeding his delusion. he did this to himself believe it or not

 

[mars]

I've been following Cobes for about 4 years now and yeah it's not worth it sitting through hours of nonsense just for a few times he does something funny. But that's why I let other people go through it for me and post the highlights. The one good thing about a lolcow having a big fan base is that there's always some insane people who are willing to sift through the shit for gems to share.

 

[Clint's Burden]

I really enjoy daydreaming what Josh could do with lottery winnings the way he spends.

Best case scenario, Clint actually convinces Josh to allow him to help buy him a small house/trailer.

Josh would then proceed to try and build a small tower on his fucking trailer, he'd talk about it all day long but he'd never do it. He'd spend his money on a giant bell that sits in his front yard, grass growing over it after every year it's there, a shitty worn out Model T that he can't drive and a bunch of new guns.

Scotty would make a miraculous return. You know why.

 

[Jack Scarefani]

That's something a lot of people don't do but really should - if you win the lottery buy yourself a property that you could live happily in and then move it into a a way you can protect it from creditors or alike for if and when things go sour so at least you have a roof over your head.

I've honestly as someone who works in reproduction and restoration of historical metal and woodwork I've put some thought into what it would take to make his clocktower mansion given the available boglim requirements. The bell alone would cost something on the order of £400k for the size of sound he'd want, he wants a clock so that's about another £200 - £400k if he wants it done in a more modern way, if he wants it made mechanically it's a easy £800k - several million.

Even reproducing the external style he wants of a 1880's mansion to the 1920's even on the outside is absurdly expensive, like unless you had a once a decade lottery win you're still going to be borrowing money even if you chose cheaper modern methods and materials on the inside.

Just his idea for a fence is retardedly expensive just on material cost alone, I don't expect most pople to know this but wrought iron today is 98% of the time just low grade mild steel people pay a premium for unless they know a local smith and even then that costs more, but let's just say he's ussing mild steel for a fence, that's just above waist height. Just for a year of uprights is £760, add in the flat bar, fiting etc it's nearly £1k a yard, and that's assuming he's got a 50x50 meter enclosure with preexisting stone or wooden posts, and that's assuming it's hust the bare min basic of what he wants.


Realistically for what he wants it would be about 4/5 times that - Just for the fence and it's a small fence that wont cover what he wants. the size of bell he wants is absurdly big and is difficult to cast and then refine, in short ONE MASSIVE win may may just finace his clocktower mansion is he was exceptionally frugal, even if he tried to do most of the work.

Wait wait wait. He's talked about a tower with bell and all the crap you mentioned?

Well color me fucking late

 

[Bixby Snyder]

I just can't imagine getting into Josh in the past couple of years like so many have and sticking around, even for the TikTok and summer crowd. The wind died down a while ago. Wasting three hours just on a hope for him to get black out drunk or angry on camera just isn't worth it. I can wait for the teeth to fall out or the new tax rules to fuck him, but there's very little spotaneity in the Cobraverse when he became a full-blown alcoholic working on his gender relations degree.

His appeal has evolved over the years. I watched a little before full-blown alcoholic period and it was just him doing stupid shit. It was harmless and he was just a weird guy doing his thing.

Last few years and his content is being an alcoholic. The ones watching wanna see drunk, they wanna see him falling over, they revel in his rotten teeth and infected foot. The people that recently came from TikTok or whatever only know that and wanna see that.

They wanna see him suffer and it’s changed him for the worst.

 

[Bogliacci]

Wait wait wait. He's talked about a tower with bell and all the crap you mentioned?

Well color me fucking late

You haven't heard about cobes' clock towered dream house?

 

[The Esquilax]

you shouldn't... he's had a million opportunities to turn his life around but he is continually feeding his delusion. he did this to himself believe it or not

Cobes is way too stupid to ever turn his life around. He's like an animal destined for the slaughter house; us non-retarded people are morally obligated to give him the best possible life he can have (meaning don't text him mean shit or send gay dudes to his apartment) right until his liver/brain/heart give out and he croaks.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

you shouldn't... he's had a million opportunities to turn his life around but he is continually feeding his delusion. he did this to himself believe it or not

He constantly was given shit to help him. People offer to help him get inexpensive groceries, but he refused because he wanted pizza and fast food shit. His father offered to get him therapy for his alcoholism but he refused and called therapists “over priced drug dealers” (for some reason). He doesn’t care. He have this edgy 14 year old goth wannabe mindset where anything that is edgy and dark is cool even if that thing is slowly killing you. He’s now the off brand G.G. Allin of Casper, Wyoming and he’s happy with it.

 

[Jack Scarefani]

You haven't heard about cobes' clock towered dream house?


View attachment 3467148

Thank you so much hahahahahhahahahahahaha

Edit: cobes just described draynor manor from fucking runescape with a bell tower, solar panels, and an intercom system.

I actually laughed irl

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

While on the topic I guess, Josh is destined to die Ulysses S Grant style

TMDWU

 

[IRideBike]

Our boy Josh needs to do more wand runs. I really like the wand I got a year or so ago. Me and my bf make good use of it

 

[Law]

He's looking real Bippity Boppity Boo with his wand

More like Bippity Boppity Booze

 

[crying and shidding]

cooking a bacon weave for dinner. just the bacon weave, with doritos on top of course

 

[mars]

He added margarine and salt to the bacon lmao.

 

[RollingRock]

I wonder how he ate that bacon mess? Rolled it into a ball and then teethed on it? Actually I don't want to know...

 

[TomBradysVagina]

https://youtu.be/RvsQY7OLXFw

Only cobes could ruin bacon. Putting salt and fat on bacon. Genius.

 

[RollingRock]

Peanut head transmutation spell complete
He is now 80% British 30% Scottish Viking 110% Legume

Edit: The "bacon weave" was a failure. As usual the cooking video is 99.9% Cobe's nostrils and .1% the food. Only for a fraction of a second can you see the baked bacon abortion.

 

[The REAL MagnaRyuu]

Adding 3 types of salt, margarine (more fat), and salty fried msg covered tortilla chips to a food known for being one of the saltiest and fattiest around is just the type of out of the box thinking you get at Michelin star restaurants. He’s pushing boundaries in the culinary arts, what the fuck have you trolls archived? So his bacon weave came apart, so what? That was just because he added one too many slops of country cock original. Trust and believe next time that bacon will be weaved as fuck.

Memes aside can you imagine if we move on from the ribs saga and enter the “bacon weave” saga? Imagine if instead of ribs he starts regularly eating whole packs of bacon covered in a bunch of salt and fat and chips and alcohol?