Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

RollingRock said:
Peanut head transmutation spell complete
He is now 80% British 30% Scottish Viking 110% Legume
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Edit: The "bacon weave" was a failure. As usual the cooking video is 99.9% Cobe's nostrils and .1% the food. Only for a fraction of a second can you see the baked bacon abortion.
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how the hell does someone make BACON look like that.... TMDNWU
 
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mars said:

Uploading a video pretty much explicitly to tell us he's drinking hard liquor before noon on a weekday. Thanks Cobes!
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If Cobra were in The Shining even Lloyd would have to cut him off.

At least he's mixing it and not drinking it straight like that room temperature cheap vodka. The color of that drink combo does look like absinthe FWIW.
 
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Rope Salesman said:
"Working on my comedy album..."

How much you wanna bet you can find his jokes were plagiarized?

I gotta say, I really hope bacon weaves covered in fat and salt and Doritos becomes a regular thing. Maybe toss in a splash of Mountain Dew...
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Even if he stole a show from someone word for word, it would at least be something. Anything at all. He is crazy lazy, just makes plans and never puts anything to practice at all.
 
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tinycreamcorn said:
how the hell does someone make BACON look like that.... TMDNWU
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Cobra is like a real life x-men mutant. Only instead of having psychic powers like Professor X our worlds mutant has the uncanny ability to not be able to do a single thing right. Not one thing. His subconscious powers warp reality and probability around him to ensure that he fucks up any attempt he makes. It’s the only way to explain how he somehow, some way, defies all odds and manages to fuck up some of the simplest tasks.

You could give cobra a task like “sit here and look at this screen. when the color red appears on screen, press this big red button” and have him sit in front of a blank screen that displays a red rectangle at 30 second intervals with a comically large red button and nothing else in front of him and he’d fuck it up. He’d probably press it once and then later be like “well how was I supposed to know I had to press it EVERY time?!” Or “well you didn’t say it was gonna be a square! You said press the button when the color red shows up but you didn’t say press the button when a red square shows up!”
 
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The REAL MagnaRyuu said:
Cobra is like a real life x-men mutant. Only instead of having psychic powers like Professor X our worlds mutant has the uncanny ability to not be able to do a single thing right. Not one thing. His subconscious powers warp reality and probability around him to ensure that he fucks up any attempt he makes. It’s the only way to explain how he somehow, some way, defies all odds and manages to fuck up some of the simplest tasks.

You could give cobra a task like “sit here and look at this screen. when the color red appears on screen, press this big red button” and have him sit in front of a blank screen that displays a red rectangle at 30 second intervals with a comically large red button and nothing else in front of him and he’d fuck it up. He’d probably press it once and then later be like “well how was I supposed to know I had to press it EVERY time?!” Or “well you didn’t say it was gonna be a square! You said press the button when the color red shows up but you didn’t say press the button when a red square shows up!”
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mid way through he would start watching a Terrence popp video and going off on a blackout drunk gander relation rant at 10 am on a Tuesday, then remember and go off on an autistic rage trip and start beating his top hat while screaming at a cigarette

mars said:

Uploading a video pretty much explicitly to tell us he's drinking hard liquor before noon on a weekday. Thanks Cobes!
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there is no way in hell that shirt is only 3 days worn. he clearly hasn't done laundry yet as you can tell by the dried cum all over it
 
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tinycreamcorn said:
there is no way in hell that shirt is only 3 days worn. he clearly hasn't done laundry yet as you can tell by the dried cum all over it
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Now son this is certainly a funny joke and I do apologize if I am out of place but see that fancy edit button? That is there to avoid double posting and lengthening a thread. I may be new here but I am not new to imageboards/forums though I usually stick to my hunting and my rifles. I hope I am not stepping on the mods toes by offering some friendly advice.
 
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Niggerfaggot Hunter said:
Now son this is certainly a funny joke and I do apologize if I am out of place but see that fancy edit button? That is there to avoid double posting and lengthening a thread. I may be new here but I am not new to imageboards/forums though I usually stick to my hunting and my rifles. I hope I am not stepping on the mods toes by offering some friendly advice.
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Are you a hunter who hunts niggerfaggots or a niggerfaggot who hunts? 🤔
 
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The REAL MagnaRyuu said:
Adding 3 types of salt, margarine (more fat), and salty fried msg covered tortilla chips to a food known for being one of the saltiest and fattiest around is just the type of out of the box thinking you get at Michelin star restaurants. He’s pushing boundaries in the culinary arts, what the fuck have you trolls archived? So his bacon weave came apart, so what? That was just because he added one too many slops of country cock original. Trust and believe next time that bacon will be weaved as fuck.

Memes aside can you imagine if we move on from the ribs saga and enter the “bacon weave” saga? Imagine if instead of ribs he starts regularly eating whole packs of bacon covered in a bunch of salt and fat and chips and alcohol?
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the dark lord is preparing to enter his ketogenic diet saga and metamorphose into his next form
 
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A few weeks ago: "Think I'll slow down with the shirts, 150 is more than enough"

On stream just now: "Think I'll slow down with the shirts, 167 is quite enough"

I'm also so fucking happy that he's still wearing the top hat. I bet it feels great to wear something that isn't constantly squeezing your gord. Now his head growth will be uninhibited until it outgrows the abogham lincoln hat
 
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Anybody tip him off that cool taste was charged with rape twice and supposedly got off because there wasn’t enough evidence and his “lawyer was amazing”? Dudes bragging he didn’t get charged with rape and was innocent both times and he only got away with it cause it couldn’t be proven

Instead of cool taste beefing with cobra to try and get attention and views from his audience and cobra largely ignoring it we’ll have it flipped around. Cobra beefing with cool taste to appear virtuous by taking down his rapist arch nemesis.

God I said it before that cool taste is the joker to cobras Batman but him being accused of rape and having to actually appear in court for it really takes that to the next level. Cool taste is pro-rape. Surprised the subreddit weens didn’t clue into the hilarity that would ensue if cobra found out about cool tastes rapescapades and try to make some regard ops to set him off on cool taste but it seems like their imagination ends at texting him that he needs to get laid and calling him a pedo for the billionth time
 
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The REAL MagnaRyuu said:
Anybody tip him off that cool taste was charged with rape twice and supposedly got off because there wasn’t enough evidence and his “lawyer was amazing”? Dudes bragging he didn’t get charged with rape and was innocent both times and he only got away with it cause it couldn’t be proven

Instead of cool taste beefing with cobra to try and get attention and views from his audience and cobra largely ignoring it we’ll have it flipped around. Cobra beefing with cool taste to appear virtuous by taking down his rapist arch nemesis.

God I said it before that cool taste is the joker to cobras Batman but him being accused of rape and having to actually appear in court for it really takes that to the next level. Cool taste is pro-rape. Surprised the subreddit weens didn’t clue into the hilarity that would ensue if cobra found out about cool tastes rapescapades and try to make some regard ops to set him off on cool taste but it seems like their imagination ends at texting him that he needs to get laid and calling him a pedo for the billionth time
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Quick, get this on the front page of The Daily Boglim, cobes has been letting a sicko into his apartment to drink his booze and hunch on his futon!
 
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