Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[TomBradysVagina]

Damn, homedad is rocking the gut. I thought that nigga was ripped with big gothic nipples

Pic is 12 years old i think. Someone on reddit said it's from 2010

 

[ErnstJunger]

I would say he's genuinely "YouTube famous" now, in the same way maybe a midcard WWE wrestler is famous.

I frequent various 4chan boards and I often post the Boglim out of context (no filename.jpg giveaways either, trole). I don't think there's a single instance where I haven't got at least one immediate TWU, and more often there are several delighted Puddinghead lore masters. Not just the boards you'd most likely predict to be familiar with lolcows either, such as /pol or /fit, but also /lit, /his, /tttt, /k... they all know our boy.

 

[tinycreamcorn]

I frequent various 4chan boards and I often post the Boglim out of context (no filename.jpg giveaways either, trole). I don't think there's a single instance where I haven't got at least one immediate TWU, and more often there are several delighted Puddinghead lore masters. Not just the boards you'd most likely predict to be familiar with lolcows either, such as /pol or /fit, but also /lit, /his, /tttt, /k... they all know our boy.

most people on /pol could qualify as lolcows themselves. that entire forum is a cesspool

 

[Bixby Snyder]

I think him making tons of money would equal good content.

Imagine all the stupid shit he would buy if made couple grand a month? Hundred dollar pizzas, getting blackout daily, pilled out constantly, and still rocking a dry spell? He was much better when didn’t have to beg but we’ll never get that back.

I kinda wish he won the lottery for millions. It would be the best 2 years of content ever and he still wouldn’t tip

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

I think him making tons of money would equal good content.

Imagine all the stupid shit he would buy if made couple grand a month? Hundred dollar pizzas, getting blackout daily, pilled out constantly, and still rocking a dry spell? He was much better when didn’t have to beg but we’ll never get that back.

I kinda wish he won the lottery for millions. It would be the best 2 years of content ever and he still wouldn’t tip

It'd be the same shit as now with paypig donayshuns; lots of alcohol to the point you'd rarely see him not sloshed, and "crazy food challenge!" order like slightly larger than normal sandwiches and 3 tacos. Dyke-era, fast talkin', ADHD Cobra would have been wild with a lottery payday, but what we have now would just sit in the dead dog throne drinking 24/7 and knowing he would literally never need to stop for what was left of his life.

 

[TurdFondler]

Yeah but it would all be happening from within the clock tower dream house.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I thought that nigga was ripped with big gothic nipples

@SeizureRobot5000 said it best on one of his lives - The Accident gave Clint prolapsed nipples.

 

[tinycreamcorn]

I think him making tons of money would equal good content.

Imagine all the stupid shit he would buy if made couple grand a month? Hundred dollar pizzas, getting blackout daily, pilled out constantly, and still rocking a dry spell? He was much better when didn’t have to beg but we’ll never get that back.

I kinda wish he won the lottery for millions. It would be the best 2 years of content ever and he still wouldn’t tip

I feel a clock tower mansion building vlog would be kind of dope. he would most definitely sperg out at a couple pf contractors along the way

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Think he would buy that big titty goth T-girl whore of his dreams?

He would have the money to buy any call girl he wanted, though I feel he would be too chickenshit to go through with it. There is a whole shopping list why he will never get laid again but his fear of a social interaction with a female is probably what will stop him.

 

[Clint's Burden]

more often there are several delighted Puddinghead lore masters.

The most delightfully retarded members of this community, yes.

I kinda wish he won the lottery for millions. It would be the best 2 years of content ever and he still wouldn’t tip

Josh's substance abuse is only tempered by the lack of money he has. If you give him more money, he will happily pour it down his throat no questions asked and he is on a steady pace to killing himself already.

If you gave him millions of dollars, he would be dead in six months. lol

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

If you gave him millions of dollars, he would be dead in six months. lol

2 months tops, seriously he'd go and get high quality super strength stuff just to show off and tank it and kill himself in the process when he tries his 2nd bottle of the day.

 

[Jack Scarefani]

Between his constant drinking of booze, and endless fucking energy drinks, you have to imagine his poor liver is just crying in agony. In terms of lolcow deathpools, I would be inclined to stick a stake on Cobra,

Liver? Nigga his heart is lucky it hasn't given out yet with the blood pressure from drinking combined with energy drinks.

Guarantee his arteries have already begun to harden.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Liver? Nigga his heart is lucky it hasn't given out yet with the blood pressure from drinking combined with energy drinks.

Guarantee his arteries have already begun to harden.

His Cardio Pulmonary system is fucked by default, he was a Pre-Me who required a incubator and he smokes, drinks and does other stuff ontop - he's hearts likely going to give out before his liver.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Cobes is going to live till 100

It’s just how these things are, toobz.

It’s like a blind person, their hearing is superhuman as it compensates for them being unable to see.

Cobes is retarded. His brain is on slow mode, his eyes are on free-roam, and motor skills are nonexistent. His body is going to compensate (he’s already strangely lean) and just continue chugging on…

Plus, he’s best buds with Lucifer!

 

[Jack Scarefani]

I think him making tons of money would equal good content.

Imagine all the stupid shit he would buy if made couple grand a month? Hundred dollar pizzas, getting blackout daily, pilled out constantly, and still rocking a dry spell? He was much better when didn’t have to beg but we’ll never get that back.

I kinda wish he won the lottery for millions. It would be the best 2 years of content ever and he still wouldn’t tip

If he won the lottery you all better hound his ass to buy a trailer with a bit of land. Like a mile or two between neighbors. That way the fun will never end. I couldn't see cobra financing it, better to pay it off outright. That way all he has to do is pay bills like water, electric, and internet. Until he hits rock bottom again.

I really enjoy daydreaming what Josh could do with lottery winnings the way he spends. I'd like to see our boy just have a trailer with some space so he could sperg out hardcore.

 

[tinycreamcorn]

Cobes is going to live till 100

It’s just how these things are, toobz.

It’s like a blind person, their hearing is superhuman as it compensates for them being unable to see.

Cobes is retarded. His brain is on slow mode, his eyes are on free-roam, and motor skills are nonexistent. His body is going to compensate (he’s already strangely lean) and just continue chugging on…

Plus, he’s best buds with Lucifer!

buddy has plot armor the size or a Chevy cruze, the closest he ever got was when he fell and started yelling at the cigarette

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

If he won the lottery you all better hound his ass to buy a trailer with a bit of land. Like a mile or two between neighbors. That way the fun will never end. I couldn't see cobra financing it, better to pay it off outright. That way all he has to do is pay bills like water, electric, and internet. Until he hits rock bottom again.

I really enjoy daydreaming what Josh could do with lottery winnings the way he spends. I'd like to see our boy just have a trailer with some space so he could sperg out hardcore.

That's something a lot of people don't do but really should - if you win the lottery buy yourself a property that you could live happily in and then move it into a a way you can protect it from creditors or alike for if and when things go sour so at least you have a roof over your head.

I've honestly as someone who works in reproduction and restoration of historical metal and woodwork I've put some thought into what it would take to make his clocktower mansion given the available boglim requirements. The bell alone would cost something on the order of £400k for the size of sound he'd want, he wants a clock so that's about another £200 - £400k if he wants it done in a more modern way, if he wants it made mechanically it's a easy £800k - several million.

Even reproducing the external style he wants of a 1880's mansion to the 1920's even on the outside is absurdly expensive, like unless you had a once a decade lottery win you're still going to be borrowing money even if you chose cheaper modern methods and materials on the inside.

Just his idea for a fence is retardedly expensive just on material cost alone, I don't expect most pople to know this but wrought iron today is 98% of the time just low grade mild steel people pay a premium for unless they know a local smith and even then that costs more, but let's just say he's ussing mild steel for a fence, that's just above waist height. Just for a year of uprights is £760, add in the flat bar, fiting etc it's nearly £1k a yard, and that's assuming he's got a 50x50 meter enclosure with preexisting stone or wooden posts, and that's assuming it's hust the bare min basic of what he wants.


Realistically for what he wants it would be about 4/5 times that - Just for the fence and it's a small fence that wont cover what he wants. the size of bell he wants is absurdly big and is difficult to cast and then refine, in short ONE MASSIVE win may may just finace his clocktower mansion is he was exceptionally frugal, even if he tried to do most of the work.

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

His Cardio Pulmonary system is fucked by default, he was a Pre-Me who required a incubator and he smokes, drinks and does other stuff ontop - he's hearts likely going to give out before his liver.

Plus rebounding from alcohol intoxication sends your nervous and circulatory system into overdrive due to the glutamate rebound. Anybody who's had a hangover knows what that's like...you feel like complete dog shit but you can't sleep it off and if it's bad enough you're jittery on top of it.

I think in most cases of severe alcohol abuse the cause of death is heart failure, not cirrhosis or esophageal bleeding. The last one killed Jack Kerouac though.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Plus rebounding from alcohol intoxication sends your nervous and circulatory system into overdrive due to the glutamate rebound. Anybody who's had a hangover knows what that's like...you feel like complete dog shit but you can't sleep it off and if it's bad enough you're jittery on top of it.

I think in most cases of severe alcohol abuse the cause of death is heart failure, not cirrhosis or esophageal bleeding. The last one killed Jack Kerouac though.

Yea Cold Turkey works with alcohol Reliant people, not Alcohol dependant people there is a serious misunderstanding most people have about drying people out and thinking they will just have one hell of a hangover - your not just sobering up your literately altering your brain chemistry and doing that to quickly rather than tapering off can and does kill.

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

Yea Cold Turkey works with alcohol Reliant people, not Alcohol dependant people there is a serious misunderstanding most people have about drying people out and thinking they will just have one hell of a hangover - your not just sobering up your literately altering your brain chemistry and doing that to quickly rather than tapering off can and does kill.

Yup, there is a huge difference between someone who binge drinks every night but is sober during the day vs. someone who is continually intoxicated. The more time that chemical is in your body altering your brain chemistry, the worse it is. It really is remarkable how uniquely deadly alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawal is compared to other drugs despite alcohol being the most commonly consumed recreational drug in existence.

It's hard to tell where Cobra is at this point, he doesn't seem as bad as he did earlier this year (birthday stream in particular) but then again he also got kicked out of Albertsons at 12pm for being drunk and disorderly. I'm hoping he at least stays away from the hard stuff as much as possible.

Those food hacks are probably helping him out by at least giving him adequate thiamine.