Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Dick Pooman]

Did anyone manage to download a copy of the "Fuck Pee Wee" video he posted last night? The Trolls tricked Cobra into believing that Paul Reubens (RIP) had downloaded CP (Paul Reubens really was charged at one point for possession of CP) and he made a video calling him a sicko. He deleted it before I was able to get home to download it.

 

[AnOminous]

The $50+ medium pizzas thing always cracks me up.
What's so funny about it to me is that you don't actually get all those toppings in their full quantity(it would be impossible to fit it all), the more toppings you add the less of each topping you get.

He must order them in a really retarded way. I've found if you order something like "the works" and don't like the price, you can Jew them down a bit. And a fair number of places actually have some such option at a reasonable price. And if you do that throw in a decent tip up front.

 

[poopshoes]

Did anyone manage to download a copy of the "Fuck Pee Wee" video he posted last night? The Trolls tricked Cobra into believing that Paul Reubens (RIP) had downloaded CP (Paul Reubens really was charged at one point for possession of CP) and he made a video calling him a sicko. He deleted it before I was able to get home to download it.

I'm too lazy to archive but here you go hope the link still works

 

[Devious Dave]

He must order them in a really retarded way. I've found if you order something like "the works" and don't like the price, you can Jew them down a bit. And a fair number of places actually have some such option at a reasonable price. And if you do that throw in a decent tip up front.

This man spent his entire stimulus check on pizza in a week

https://youtu.be/fjDKbeBoqds

 

[Dick Pooman]

He must order them in a really retarded way.

One thing you'll learn about Cobra is that he takes all of his vices to the extreme as often as he can. Most of the time when he's "in the negative" it's because he's ordering the most gluttonous creations possible. It's not uncommon for him to get double of every topping and then slather on a few cups of garlic butter sauce.

 

[PetiteFeet]

And if you do that throw in a decent tip up front.

That's where Cobra differs. Does he EVER tip?

 

[HiveDull]

That's where Cobra differs. Does he EVER tip?

Yes, he only tips when funds are permitting though. He also likes to shill out for St. Judes.

Did anyone notice that he has a rash or something near his armpit? It's looking pretty gross.
He keeps scratching it so it must be another rash, right?

 

[8mm Cunningham]

Yes, he only tips when funds are permitting though. He also likes to shill out for St. Judes.

Did anyone notice that he has a rash or something near his armpit? It's looking pretty gross.
He keeps scratching it so it must be another rash, right?

You know what's more valuable than a tip? A shoutout from the most powerful wizard in Wyoming. At least in his wetbrain it is.

 

[DrNow]

I introduced my friend to cobes a while back and he said if he ever found an of age GF they’d be ‘two peas in a bog’ lol.

 

[PetiteFeet]

Did anyone notice that he has a rash or something near his armpit? It's looking pretty gross.
He keeps scratching it so it must be another rash, right?

His body is finally reacting to the abuse he's putting it through.
He's beginning to bloat from his diet, he's beginning to get rashes, his teeth are probably falling out as he chews on his bog slop.
Chairbugs and bedbugs laying eggs in him when?

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Betting he'd also just keep the dentures in 24/7 to pretend like he has a mouth full of teeth, like how he wears the hat to pretend he has long flowing ozzy hair.

He’d probably go a step further and try to Modge Podge them together with the few remaining lateral rot-stubs to make them “permanent” replacements.

“Here’s the thing of it: Did some of my teeth fall out? I mean, I guess... It is what it is. Buuutttt, I fixed it with my skills I learned from wand-making and now it’s basically the same as the real thing, Youtube. The trolls are probably just jealous that I don’t even have to brush them now. Heh heh, yesss.”

 

[Pogo Pogo (Bounce)]

I like Josh and really want to go hang out with him. Dude needs a buddy to drag him back out into the world, for his own benefit but also to breathe some life back into the content.
My only concern would be my ability to wrangle him enough to keep him from going live or telling randoms where we're at. I could probably cock block the weens from harassing the businesses we'd visit by just talking to management and not lingering too long but it'd be so much chiller to act as his cameraman and have him upload the raw footage of our adventures after we're done.
Probably won't go through with it but I do think about it fairly often.

 

[Garth]

I like Josh and really want to go hang out with him. Dude needs a buddy to drag him back out into the world, for his own benefit but also to breathe some life back into the content.
My only concern would be my ability to wrangle him enough to keep him from going live or telling randoms where we're at. I could probably cock block the weens from harassing the businesses we'd visit by just talking to management and not lingering too long but it'd be so much chiller to act as his cameraman and have him upload the raw footage of our adventures after we're done.
Probably won't go through with it but I do think about it fairly often.

You really are a faggot. Go away.

 

[RollingRock2]

He can save him bros

 

[Pogo Pogo (Bounce)]

He can save him bros

Normal human interaction would get him off of his fart throne and back to being kino.
Remember the golden age of him riding bike and having weird encounters with the local wildlife? That shit was awesome.

But for years now it's been nothing but him wallowing in drunken despair, hollerin' at the obsessive weens who can't get off the Uber Eats prank, babbling about gender relations and of-age/alive/non-related/human/cis-gendered/consenting female women.

The most interesting thing to happen since his "fight" with Warlord has been what? Him buying a lizard, the most boring type of pet possible? It's been a giant boring pile of shit that takes a team of clip channels to dig through for the small and very rare nuggets of funny.

Countless hours of unfunny bullshit because weens can't stop being faggots and making him miserable every time he steps out of the house.

You really are a faggot. Go away.

No.

 

[BullfrogBill]

I like Josh and really want to go hang out with him. Dude needs a buddy to drag him back out into the world, for his own benefit but also to breathe some life back into the content.
My only concern would be my ability to wrangle him enough to keep him from going live or telling randoms where we're at. I could probably cock block the weens from harassing the businesses we'd visit by just talking to management and not lingering too long but it'd be so much chiller to act as his cameraman and have him upload the raw footage of our adventures after we're done.
Probably won't go through with it but I do think about it fairly often.

I made this account just to tell you that you're a faggot.

 

[Terrorist]

Started using Cobraisms at work lately to some success. People tend to enjoy "It's no skin off my shoes" (as a playful malapropism like "rocket surgery") and "I guess I was caught up in the glitz and glamor of it all" (sarcastically about a mundane task). He truly does rule my pathetic life, toobz.

 

[Vash the Stampede]

A new documentary came out about Cobes and I didn't see it posted yet so.

 

[Mister Uno]

Normal human interaction would get him off of his fart throne and back to being kino.
Remember the golden age of him riding bike and having weird encounters with the local wildlife? That shit was awesome.

But for years now it's been nothing but him wallowing in drunken despair, hollerin' at the obsessive weens who can't get off the Uber Eats prank, babbling about gender relations and of-age/alive/non-related/human/cis-gendered/consenting female women.

Countless hours of unfunny bullshit because weens can't stop being faggots and making him miserable every time he steps out of the house.

And much of this is self-inflicted. He surrounded himself with wierdos, some good and some bad. The good ones moved on with their life just because they're adults who have their own thing going on, or just don't really want to associate with him anymore for one reason or another. The bad just used him for a variety of things. Josh himself probably disassociates with people for his own reasons, some likely petty ones. I mean look at how he reacts to mild criticisms from the YourFavoriteSon. And with his trolls? He could just simply ignore them, but he chooses not to. Yeah it sucks that these autists can't fuck off and leave him be but you also can't deny he indirectly encourages it. Nobody can fix him, and it's silly to think you or anyone else can.

 

[Pogo Pogo (Bounce)]

Nobody can fix him, and it's silly to think you or anyone else can.

That wasn't the point of what I was saying.
Cobes was neuro defective before he ever started abusing drugs and alcohol. We literally don't have the technology to unfuck him into a normal person.
What I was saying is his content fucking sucks because his life fucking sucks.
Showing him that you can use Uber to go places like work, taking him out to a metal concert or the zoo, going to some decent bars/restaurants, showing him how to set up a VOIP number for the trolls to use instead of his real number, showing him that you're not supposed to make a giant watered down glass of kratom and sip it over 5 hours, showing him some based YouTubers instead of these whiney faggot liberals he parrots.
All little things that would pay off in terms of new and refreshing things to laugh at without hurting him in the process.
But no, let's send condiment sandwiches to his apartment for the millionth time instead.
That'll be le epic ween, right?