Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Mr. Manchester]

Just watched this and I honestly don't know what to say. Our boy is almost aggressively stupid. I'm running out of ways to describe how stupid he is. He literally cannot do anything right. I would love to see him get some sort of critical thinking test and see how he does. Give him a problem with some tools and see if he can figure it out before a lab monkey can.

"God damn it. I don't have- I don't have to finish the fucking puzzle dood. Fuck this toy."

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

If only he had like a fucking sink or something nearby he could have used to catch any spillage. Truly regarded. For some reason wiping that shit up with his shirt seems more eggrigous to me than when he wears the vomit. Using his gross ass bogmata hand as a stariner before he asserts that "You can get botulism from this so play it safe" is actually fucking crazy. Going back to wiping shit up with his shirt though, fucking mental, schrodingers towel over there. When he brought the drill in I lost it, such a wild juxtaposition for what hes doing. Needing to bring it to the layth and vice just amazing the amount of labor that goes into attaching a Ballon to a jug. Capping all this shit off with talks about what the ancient tribes used to do like i wasnt just watching a modern caveman was the icing on the cake for me. This wine shit some of the best cobes content in awhile. The retardation at like 110% with the wine. Brain working HARD.

Seeing him hold the plastic cap with his hand in front of a power drill bit in order to make the hole was something else.

 

[PetiteFeet]

Seeing him hold the plastic cap with his hand in front of a power drill bit in order to make the hole was something else.

I'm just amazed he hasn't degloved himself playing with the lathe, much less him drilling directly into his hand.

 

[Devious Dave]

I'm just amazed he hasn't degloved himself playing with the lathe, much less him drilling directly into his hand.

I think he stopped using it and went back to sticks which is arguably a better product instead of wooden chair legs painted and wrapped in wire

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Him huffing the air out of the balloon was the peak for me. I don't know why, it's just a perfect encapsulation of Cobra.

 

[eaglesfan665]

at least he knows what day it is now that he is making mead on the reg

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

"Yoh nohh Goff yo ees emo mehlhed fing" to quote former "heartthrob" Gothic Dee.

I would call him white trash before I would call him emo though. And I've seen fat, slovenly metalheads that are easier on the eyes than him. I'm honestly starting to think that he's just a higher IQ Cyrax except he's into metal and hard rock instead of hip-hop. Note that I said higher IQ, not high IQ.

 

[It Burns]

If only he had like a fucking sink or something nearby he could have used to catch any spillage. Truly regarded. For some reason wiping that shit up with his shirt seems more eggrigous to me than when he wears the vomit. Using his gross ass bogmata hand as a stariner before he asserts that "You can get botulism from this so play it safe" is actually fucking crazy. Going back to wiping shit up with his shirt though, fucking mental, schrodingers towel over there. When he brought the drill in I lost it, such a wild juxtaposition for what hes doing. Needing to bring it to the layth and vice just amazing the amount of labor that goes into attaching a Ballon to a jug. Capping all this shit off with talks about what the ancient tribes used to do like i wasnt just watching a modern caveman was the icing on the cake for me. This wine shit some of the best cobes content in awhile. The retardation at like 110% with the wine. Brain working HARD.

What absolutely killed me was how, after failing to use the glass to pour that bog water through a sieve, in part due to the lack of a funnel - he brings out a funnel, which he called a filter, to aid in adding more sugar.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

I would call him white trash before I would call him emo though. And I've seen fat, slovenly metalheads that are easier on the eyes than him. I'm honestly starting to think that he's just a higher IQ Cyrax except he's into metal and hard rock instead of hip-hop. Note that I said higher IQ, not high IQ.

At least Josh isn’t a confirmed pedophile
Think we can say the same for his father as well that’s not the case with the goblin
Goblin has true pure cretin blood

 

[Eyesore City]

The mead saga is by far the best content he's cranked out in years. He might not leave the house anymore but there is something so humorous about Josh trying to do shit.

You know he will fuck it up, but you will never guess how he'll fuck it up. I swear it's like watching a Chaplin bit.

 

[Bogliacci]

The mead saga is by far the best content he's cranked out in years. He might not leave the house anymore but there is something so humorous about Josh trying to do shit.

You know he will fuck it up, but you will never guess how he'll fuck it up. I swear it's like watching a Chaplin bit.

Mead saga gives us see the trifecta of cobes: his contempt for advice, his stupidity, and his delusions of grandeur

 

[Incel Death Note]

The mead saga is by far the best content he's cranked out in years. He might not leave the house anymore but there is something so humorous about Josh trying to do shit.

You know he will fuck it up, but you will never guess how he'll fuck it up. I swear it's like watching a Chaplin bit.

It's been absolute kino. This is peak comedy.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

At least Josh isn’t a confirmed pedophile
Think we can say the same for his father as well that’s not the case with the goblin
Goblin has true pure cretin blood

Yeah, I'm starting to think of KingCobra as a classic style cow since he's just some weirdo online; he's different than the cows obsessed with politics or the trannies and pedophiles.

 

[Buckaroo]

Do you think he was trying to lure in some lovely of-age fangirls with some 90's boyband covers? Wet almonds all around.

I wouldn't be surprised if that was his goal, but I have to wonder what reminded him of that song in the first place. He has trouble remembering Ozzy's songs, so why would he think about old boy band shit out of the blue?

 

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

I honestly don't know why he tries to spin himself as a goth when, as can be seen from your list, he's clearly a stereotypical metalhead.

I don't know if he's a stereotypical metalhead. Every metalhead I know (including myself to some degree) is fairly exploratory in their music tastes... Maybe not venturing too far out of metal but usually exploring the genre quite a bit and specializing only a little bit... Like, you have your doom and stoner guys... Your black metal autists... Your NWBHM guys who can't get past 1990 unless it's a new Priest record, etc.

I think it's more he's a stereotypical  image of a sort of gothic metalhead, through the lens oof his stagnant form of autism. You'd think he'd get super into Type O or Katatonia or something... But image = pattern = reality and not performance = pattern = reality with him.

 

[HiveDull]

It's been absolute kino. This is peak comedy.
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How does he even fuck this up again? This is the Wendy's Sweet Tea all over again lol.
He did it right during his last batch cause he used a paper funnel. Guess you really can't teach an old cobra new tricks.

 

[lurkin]

Cobes is the only cow you'd save from a barn fire lmao for all his regardations he's only a detriment to himself. I really wanna see him curb stomp cyraxx more than anything.

 

[PetiteFeet]

I wouldn't be surprised if that was his goal, but I have to wonder what reminded him of that song in the first place. He has trouble remembering Ozzy's songs, so why would he think about old boy band shit out of the blue?

I think Cobes is around 31-32, no? If so, he probably grew up hearing it on the radio. I've begun noticing myself singing or humming "childhood classics" and for some reason I can never forget them - things like Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls and other late 90s early 00s top 100 tracks, music I haven't listened to on the regular at all since I was a kid.
Josh' mental state has been regressing quite a lot late, despite everything he claims about the duster not affecting him, his lack of social circle that leaves him alone with his thoughts for hours on end.
"you are my fire. The one desire"
Echoing on and on in his otherwise empty skull.

 

[Spunt]

I don't know if he's a stereotypical metalhead. Every metalhead I know (including myself to some degree) is fairly exploratory in their music tastes... Maybe not venturing too far out of metal but usually exploring the genre quite a bit and specializing only a little bit... Like, you have your doom and stoner guys... Your black metal autists... Your NWBHM guys who can't get past 1990 unless it's a new Priest record, etc.

I think it's more he's a stereotypical  image of a sort of gothic metalhead, through the lens oof his stagnant form of autism. You'd think he'd get super into Type O or Katatonia or something... But image = pattern = reality and not performance = pattern = reality with him.

I don't think he really understands the difference between "goth" and "metal", either in a fashion sense or in a musical sense. You're right that the image is much more important to him than the music, but he doesn't really dress as either. I mean that's fine, dress how you like and what makes you feel comfortable, but his attempts to inform his audience on what "goth" is and the way he acts like any kind of authority on either dress or music is kinda laughable.

His music tastes are pretty fucking basic. Elvis, Ozzy, Cradle of Filth. Doesn't exactly push the envelope and he doesn't express much interest in other bands or artists that sound like them (CoF are often regarded as a sort of "gateway band" to extreme metal the way Slipknot are - teenagers come for the image but stay for the music). I think that lack of curiosity is an autism thing, he found some music that he liked and that was good enough for him and change is too disruptive. I'm not going to be a metal elitist and say he sucks for having very conservative tastes, listen to whatever you like, but it certainly won't impress the of-age women who are around his age. If you're a teenage girl who's into the goth aesthetic and you meet a guy like Josh who's into CoF and wears a lot of black and studs then that might be enough to get you interested in him, but if you're a 30-ish-year-old woman who is still into heavy music chances are your tastes have evolved a bit and a guy who only likes CoF and Ozzy will look like a severe case of arrested development - which of course Josh is. Cobes' "dry spell" is due in no small part to him remaining a mental teenager and the women his age have matured while he hasn't.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

I don't know if he's a stereotypical metalhead. Every metalhead I know (including myself to some degree) is fairly exploratory in their music tastes... Maybe not venturing too far out of metal but usually exploring the genre quite a bit and specializing only a little bit... Like, you have your doom and stoner guys... Your black metal autists... Your NWBHM guys who can't get past 1990 unless it's a new Priest record, etc.

I think it's more he's a stereotypical  image of a sort of gothic metalhead, through the lens oof his stagnant form of autism. You'd think he'd get super into Type O or Katatonia or something... But image = pattern = reality and not performance = pattern = reality with him.

That makes sense. I think he may have something in common with those trannies that try to imitate the look of the scene girls that they lusted after in the 2000s.