Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

BPD Gunt Rider said:
I think Josh could find someone.

His location helps in Casper, middle of nowhere Wyoming. There should be women near him without lots of options.

Online, Josh has more than enough internet fame to get attention from e-girls. I've seen many ugly incel losers get attention from women and even find relationships that have far less clout than Josh. But, getting them to travel to Wyoming would be difficult.

I'm really rooting for Josh too, though. He's a case where I think a girlfriend would completely change his mindset and improve his life.
Click to expand...

I think the available women of Casper would see fucking their pillow as a better option than our loathable boglim Jorsh.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: An automatic clown, Tropico 2: Port Snort, svetlalala and 1 other person
Clint's Burden said:
I mean most of us poke at him and stuff but I think everyone wants to see him succeed. He just gets in his own way a lot.

Still petitioning for someone to buy him a hooker and have her say she's a fan. All he needs is a win, maybe he'll try a little bit if he gets one.
Click to expand...
Totally disagree. Not that I don’t want cobra to have a win or want any misfortune to come to him. But he’s got learned helplessness. He’s completely helpless and useless because of how much he is enabled. He’s like a kid who’s parents did all his homework for him. The WORST possible thing would be for cobra to get a win without any effort on his behalf because it just incentivizes him to not do shit and makes him helpless. It’ll reinforce the idea that he doesn’t have to do anything besides hope things miraculously work out. “See I told you I just had to wait patiently dood”

Look at how he plans to solve all his issues; by winning the lottery. That’s how helpless he is. He literally can’t imagine any other way to fix the issues in his life than to just by some miracle win the lottery. He’s so used to being hand-held that he is totally incapable of exerting the slightest effort. He wants a car? How will he get it? Working and saving money? Saving money from wand sales? Budgeting? No, he just has to win the lottery. Balding? Not to worry, once he wins the lottery he’ll get hair plugs. Lonely? Should he try to improve himself and make himself more appealing to women? Should he go to places to meet women? Should he create an online dating profile? Should he even literally talk to the opposite sex? Nope, not necessary he’s just got to wait patiently and hope the right girl comes along and loves him for who he is.

I want cobra to get a win but the last thing he needs is a win handed to him on a silver platter to dig him even deeper into his terminal learned helplessness
 
  • Agree
Reactions: itunes, GeorgeApley, daBonehead and 12 others
Phalanges Mycologist said:
Now that you mention it I'm a bit shocked he's never tried home brewing Beer or Wine, it's cheaper and it would let him combine Food Hacks and Alcoholism.
Click to expand...

Josh is far too unsanitary to craft his own beer. Between that, and his below room temperature IQ, if the exploding bottles don’t get him, whatever bacteria he inadvertently contaminates the wort with, will.
 
  • Agree
  • Winner
  • Like
Reactions: DuckSucker, GeorgeApley, Associate Rick and 13 others
Josh would still be a fucking loser if he had a girlfriend (miraculously).

I don’t even think it would change anything. He is currently super fixated on sex and has idealised it, as if it would solve his problems. It wouldn’t change a thing. He would bang some poor chick, brag about it, and then move on.

It takes effort to keep a piece of ass around. Maybe not a whole lot but he wouldn’t put in the time or effort. You cannot just ignore a girl (except for sex), get angry when she has her own needs, or even worse, expect her not to criticise the stupid shit you do. He’s a selfish immature asshole who doesn’t care about anyone else. He’s not a normal person who will change his behaviour to make something work — he expects everyone else to change for him.

It’s the same with money. If he somehow won the fucking lottery (does he even play it?), it would just create new more fucked up problems. He would be broke really fast, Clint would try taking it from him, the news would wanna watch the trainwreck, and he would fall for every asshole begging. He would refuse any advice and be broke in like a year — if not just dead.

This motherfucker will not be fixed by puss, Clint, money, or a group home. He’s going to die turning blue while passed out drunk, covered in snot and ranch dressing.

I just hope he streams it… that and Ozzy dies before him.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: itunes, GeorgeApley, behavioral swamp thang and 11 others
mars said:
Genuinely do not want him to get a win. If this was like 3-5 years ago then yeah he was okay. His cooking videos were fun to watch and his ramblings were sorta entertaining. He was just a weirdo sperg who was sharing his silly viewpoint. But 2022 cobra is a delusional alcoholic loser. He's an unironic incel that is a burden to his family and nuisance to his neighbors all while thinking he's an internet rock star. Any small victory will just reinforce the terrible choices and decisions he's made. We all saw what he was like during the Chaz saga and that was just the remote possibility of a win on the horizon. He needs to hit rock bottom so hard he's forced into rehab or even jail for a while. He literally needs to be reset to square one otherwise he's just going to slowly continue to disintegrate in front of us until the alcohol kills him in a decade.
Click to expand...
Nah he's just gonna die...

Like probably this year honestly...
 
  • Winner
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Agree
Reactions: Umaibae, Jack Scarefani, Tropico 2: Port Snort and 3 others

Wendell Stamps said:
Josh is far too unsanitary to craft his own beer. Between that, and his below room temperature IQ, if the exploding bottles don’t get him, whatever bacteria he inadvertently contaminates the wort with, will.
Click to expand...
I would love to see him try to make spirts.
“M…my fuckin’ distill exploded and t…took my FOOKIN’ arm!!! It is what it is toobz”
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
  • DRINK!
  • Winner
Reactions: GeorgeApley, Associate Rick, An automatic clown and 4 others
Clint's Burden said:
Still petitioning for someone to buy him a hooker and have her say she's a fan. All he needs is a win, maybe he'll try a little bit if he gets one.
Click to expand...
Basically how True Romance starts, just swap the hot prostitute lying about liking Sonny Chiba films with liking gender relations rants.

68CD784A-1C42-457E-ABCF-A3FCEC4F59BA.jpeg
 
  • Winner
  • Like
Reactions: eaglesfan665, Associate Rick, Uncle Ted and 10 others
svetlalala said:
As sweet as it is to think a big titty goth GF will save him, no women will ever let those chocolate cherry cheeseburger fingers touch her pussy ever again. He needs to go to a group home.
Click to expand...
gothie. she was all in with josh, but for some reason josh didn't get with her... and i never knew why-- i mean she was ugly, annoying and damaged af but josh is no better than her... well... i guess they are fucked in diferent ways, josh being a goofball and gothie being a toothless annoying bitch
 
  • Like
Reactions: An automatic clown, Tropico 2: Port Snort, NoodleFucker3000 and 1 other person
Stygian Evil said:
gothie. she was all in with josh, but for some reason josh didn't get with her... and i never knew why-- i mean she was ugly, annoying and damaged af but josh is no better than her... well... i guess they are fucked in diferent ways, josh being a goofball and gothie being a toothless annoying bitch
Click to expand...
Apparently she wanted to fuck Cyraxx as well. She's just a mental patient who feeds on attention.

Sexy Bad Boy has historically had little patience for other peoples personal drama, and according to the both of them, their very first one-on-one conversation included her screaming all her personal flaws and dramas and all that wonderful bullshit at him completely unprompted. Even with a dry spell, Cobes stood strong and let her know he had little patience for what she was hocking.

She didn't take kindly to that at all and the rest is history.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: XxxwernxxX, SpiceyHuman, Lesbian Sleepover and 5 others
KillThemCrackasBabies said:
This. If his kidneys don't blow out, he'll trip and land on his head wrong and won't be found for a week.
Click to expand...

My money is still on drunken asphxiation, I don't want him to die (I want to see him get sober and try and do something, even though I know thats really unlikely) but I can see that being the most likely way of him going out.

Stygian Evil said:
gothie. she was all in with josh, but for some reason josh didn't get with her... and i never knew why-- i mean she was ugly, annoying and damaged af but josh is no better than her... well... i guess they are fucked in diferent ways, josh being a goofball and gothie being a toothless annoying bitch
Click to expand...

She's the very best he can do, I'm not being hyperbolic here but he's so damaged if he was food you wouldnt find him in the Dented can section of a discount supermarket in mongolia at this point, he's be tossed out. If he gets with anyone in his current state they are going to be worse than Gothie either a fall down drunk or serious drug user who does shit to fuel the addiction.

KillThemCrackasBabies said:
Apparently she wanted to fuck Cyraxx as well. She's just a mental patient who feeds on attention.

Sexy Bad Boy has historically had little patience for other peoples personal drama, and according to the both of them, their very first one-on-one conversation included her screaming all her personal flaws and dramas and all that wonderful bullshit at him completely unprompted. Even with a dry spell, Cobes stood strong and let her know he had little patience for what she was hocking.

She didn't take kindly to that at all and the rest is history.
Click to expand...

I'll give Cobes a thumbs up here, he's managed to dodge a bullet with her - she's the type to create drama where non should exist and then trys to set people against each other.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
Reactions: XxxwernxxX, GeorgeApley, Tropico 2: Port Snort and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back