Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Sinbad the Sailor]

I think people who seethe over Cobra are legit sick in the head. Likely retards or trannies that are mad they can't use what's wrong with them as a way to sit in an apartment and do nothing all day.

I understand hating Chris, especially after the Barb shit came out but Cobes, does seem like an okay person at heart. He's dumb as a bag of rocks and deluded as to his own talent and importance but he does have an idea of right and wrong that he tries to stick by, wants to work to entertain his viewers and earn his money and can show some remorse and self-awareness when he fucks up. I know it's a low bar but it's a hard one to pass for a lot of lolcows.

This is probably not a popular sentiment but I think Clint did an okay job with Josh. He really could have been so much worse off, especially in Casper.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

make sure to get good and liquored up for the internet man cobes

It will nevernot make me laugh at the faces he makes when he drinks.

I can't tell whether its a grimace from the tooth pain reacting to the sugar in the energy drinks, or his discomfort from the alcohol burn. Either way, I've always found it amusing that he pretends to enjoy drinking so much. It's like watching a kid try alcohol for the first time.

 

[barrow greeter]

We'll never see him finish the bacon choco-botulism mead. The best we might get is him sipping on one glass on video, wincing, and proclaiming it "delicious" - then we'll never see mention of it again.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I think people who seethe over Cobra are legit sick in the head. Likely retards or trannies that are mad they can't use what's wrong with them as a way to sit in an apartment and do nothing all day.

I think a large part of what causes the hatred towards Cobes is how much he makes for sitting around getting drunk. You have people on reddit who work terrible retail jobs for 8 dollars an hour seeing Cobes make 3000+ a month to get blackout drunk and talk about gender relations and they hate him for it.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Morning whiskey + energy drink combo while he waits for his internet company to come "possibly" replace his intanet box

I haven't seen him with a bottle of Jack Daniels in a while. That's his favorite but he always talks about how he never gets it anymore because it's too expensive. I think we're going to be seeing some real catastrophic day drinking coming up now that he has that Superchat money rolling in.

 

[barrow greeter]

I haven't seen him with a bottle of Jack Daniels in a while. That's his favorite but he always talks about how he never gets it anymore because it's too expensive. I think we're going to be seeing some real catastrophic day drinking coming up now that he has that Superchat money rolling in.

Josh is an expert whiskey drinker, that's why he holds it in his mouth for 2 minutes after every swig, just like the pros. His Scottish Viking ancestry gives him that steel gut. He loves whiskey so much, you already know TWU.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Cookie Jalapeño Green Monster Mead coming in nicely

 

[Jew-ish]

I think people who seethe over Cobra are legit sick in the head. Likely retards or trannies that are mad they can't use what's wrong with them as a way to sit in an apartment and do nothing all day.

I understand hating Chris, especially after the Barb shit came out but Cobes, does seem like an okay person at heart. He's dumb as a bag of rocks and deluded as to his own talent and importance but he does have an idea of right and wrong that he tries to stick by, wants to work to entertain his viewers and earn his money and can show some remorse and self-awareness when he fucks up. I know it's a low bar but it's a hard one to pass for a lot of lolcows.

This is probably not a popular sentiment but I think Clint did an okay job with Josh. He really could have been so much worse off, especially in Casper.

I think Clint did a good Job, but once cobes was left to his own devices, Clint kind of just gave up.

Cobes has a serious alcohol issue, smokes like a chimney, and his teeth are fucked. None of that is Clints fault, but he's not helping either. There's a decent chance Clint out lives Cobes, and that's fucking tragic.

 

[Spunt]

I think people who seethe over Cobra are legit sick in the head. Likely retards or trannies that are mad they can't use what's wrong with them as a way to sit in an apartment and do nothing all day.

I understand hating Chris, especially after the Barb shit came out but Cobes, does seem like an okay person at heart. He's dumb as a bag of rocks and deluded as to his own talent and importance but he does have an idea of right and wrong that he tries to stick by, wants to work to entertain his viewers and earn his money and can show some remorse and self-awareness when he fucks up. I know it's a low bar but it's a hard one to pass for a lot of lolcows.

This is probably not a popular sentiment but I think Clint did an okay job with Josh. He really could have been so much worse off, especially in Casper.

Josh has done some bad things but no more and no worse than you, I or the average person in the street. Most people fuck up now and then and do bad things. Unfortunately Cobes is really, really dumb, and his particular flavour of autism gives him a belligerent stubbornness that means he doesn't learn from his mistakes and tends to repeat them, as well as a defensive refusal to ever admit that he's ever done anything wrong or stupid, even when it would be really obvious to most people. So to some observers it looks like he's a narcissistic asshole, but he really isn't, he's just a massive idiot who can't really analyse his own behaviour very well.

And of course all that got a hundred times worse when his substance abuse issues got out of control. His brain was never the wrinkliest to begin with, and that was before he started assaulting it with alcohol, solvents and whatever the fuck is in his Bog Juice.

Did you ever see a crazy, ranting, stinking drunk hobo on a street corner and wonder how they got that way? You think to yourself, that person was a child, had parents or at least someone who fed them and kept them alive, had dreams and ambitions like the rest of us, probably had friends and family. How did they go from there to a reeking tramp yelling at the traffic while waving a vodka bottle around?

Well, Cobes' decline answers that question in real time. You can tune in and watch a man go from an ambitious young man with a loving family, friends, jobs, partners, their own apartment, to an unkempt, delusional alcoholic whose family have given up on him. How you can hate a man going through that I just don't understand. Watching Cobes' fall elicits a lot of emotions towards him - sorrow, pity, frustration, disgust, hilarity, but hatred? I don't get it. If the Redditors are genuinely jealous of a non-functional alcoholic with homelessness and an early death as his future, then frankly their own lives must be pretty fucking bleak. They should kill themselves, partly because their lives must be beyond repair, but mostly because they post on Reddit.

 

[barrow greeter]

Cookie Jalapeño Green Monster Mead coming in nicely

It's good that he's nailing down all these classic recipes now, because after his teeth fall out, all his meals are going to be in bog mead format.

 

[Bogliacci]

Cookie Jalapeño Green Monster Mead coming in nicely

He's really just gonna keep doin this until he dies, isnt he?

 

[Andoxico]

Cookie Jalapeño Green Monster Mead coming in nicely

Holy shit this is a new level of vile.
Ingredient list:

• Chocolate chip cookies
• 2 cups sugar
• Entire container of honey
• Canned jalapenos (also contains carrots and onions)
• 2 bananas
• 32oz Monster Energy
• 1L water
• 1 packet of wine yeast

TWU

Spoiler: Archive

 

[Bogliacci]

Holy shit this is a new level of vile.
Ingredient list:

• Chocolate chip cookies
• 2 cups sugar
• Entire container of honey
• Canned jalapenos (also contains carrots and onions)
• 2 bananas
• 32oz Monster Energy
• 1L water
• 1 packet of wine yeast

TWU

Spoiler: Archive

View attachment 5435692

We were all just postin about how seething about Cobes is retarded but im like legit seething at how he could possibly think this is going to be anything but gut rot lmfao. How is it possible for someone to be so deluded???

 

[Ambient Occlusion]

Honestly I'm convinced he only takes a single sip of any of his "mead" then dumps it out off camera while pretending to say it's good. Although a single sip of this shit might be enough to do some damage.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

There's all kinds of preservatives and additives in monster energy, would the yeast even tolerate that?

Brother's cooking up chemical weapons in his apartment, and nobody's going to realize until it's too late and East Wyoming has been completely depopulated.

If the Redditors are genuinely jealous of a non-functional alcoholic with homelessness and an early death as his future, then frankly their own lives must be pretty fucking bleak. They should kill themselves, partly because their lives must be beyond repair, but mostly because they post on Reddit.

My guess is that if they're really jealous they probably live with their parents and wish they could be popular online, so they're angry that he has his own apartment where he just kind of hangs around and talks to people on the internet.

There's definitely been times I've been puzzled by cobra, and there are times I've been frustrated over his wastefulness (I remember seeing the clip of him breaking his guitar for no fucking reason, that bothered me), but on a day to day basis I couldn't see any reason to get angry at him.

He's legit, even as retarded as he is.

 

[Eyesore City]

Honestly I'm convinced he only takes a single sip of any of his "mead" then dumps it out off camera while pretending to say it's good. Although a single sip of this shit might be enough to do some damage.

The best part about Josh is that he unironically thinks all his food and drink hacks are top tier culinary feats. I have no question that Josh consumes every drop.

Cobes' spirit animal is a plague rat.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Cookie Jalapeño Green Monster Mead coming in nicely

This legitimately made me let out a gasp.

This is not going to work. Or if it somehow does, the only thing that will result is pure evil.

The fat and oils from the cookies.
The vinigar from the jalapeno pickles.
Carbonated energy drink with preservatives. This is black magic alchemy.

I gaurantee this will end up with a giant mold spore growing on top.
And I also gaurantee that Josh will consume it.

God save us all.

Edit: I almost want to do a very small batch of this recipe. Not to drink. God no. I'm just morbidly curious behind the chemistry of the weird ingredients he is using and whether the end result will actually have any alcohol content to it. I would measure with my hydrometer to confirm ABV. We will see. Ill need to see how autistic Im feeling tomorow.

On a side note, tomorrow I plan on doing my hard cider. I'll either update here or the home brew thread.

 

[beepbopisuckcock]

There's all kinds of preservatives and additives in monster energy, would the yeast even tolerate that?

See my post on yeast and preservatives:

If he added an entire sachet of instant yeast to a 1 gallon jug, its very likely that he could have had enough live yeast cells in suspension to actually get some fermentation. By adding an excess of yeast it doesn't need to reproduce to ferment through all the sugar, so the sorbate won't matter.

Ingredient list:

• Chocolate chip cookies
• 2 cups sugar
• Entire container of honey
• Canned jalapenos (also contains carrots and onions)
• 2 bananas
• 32oz Monster Energy
• 1L water
• 1 packet of wine yeast

Cookie and Monster Mead sounds almost reasonable. Jalapeno mead, again, almost reasonable. But together? The jalapenos are fucking packed in vinegar. Is this the Cobes Kombucha sub-arc?

 

[RollingRock2]

Monster energy contains Sorbic Acid (Preservative), Benzoic Acid (Preservative)
"Sorbic acid and its salts, especially potassium sorbate and calcium sorbate, are antimicrobial agents often used as preservatives in food and drinks to prevent the growth of mold, yeast, and fungi."
And of course the pickled jalapenos contain vinegar
Another waste of time and money

 

[Xenomorph]

So has Porkney backed off and Troon Krystal Methhead takin up the Jersh gatekeeper mantle?