Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

['Ole Dente]

He thinks that Puff went underground to go hibernate for the winter.
He has also stated that he's willing to feed a beardie a mango soaked in alcohol "as a treat" once a year.

I like how he tried to say

“Look I loved Puff and it’s a shame he’s dead, I will never be able to replace him but I can just get another lizard and do a better job.”

but what he actually said was

“The thing with-ya know, he’s a pet. I can just-I mean I can’t replace him I could never do that, it’ll take a year for me to mourn his loss but-and I don’t wanna sound like a heartless asshole but-ah fuck it whatever I say will get twisted anyways.”

 

[Ponzo]

He thinks that Puff went underground to go hibernate for the winter.
He has also stated that he's willing to feed a beardie a mango soaked in alcohol "as a treat" once a year.

I don't know if this article is satire or not but according to it you can give your bearded dragon alcohol from time to time

 

[HiveDull]

This dude just pronounced genre as "genners." I hope this replaces persauge. What an amazing stream lol

 

[Cougar Pump]

I suspect cobes is genuinely grieving over Puff, it's just he doesn't even recognise it himself at an conscious level. Stuff like cutting back on the alcohol a bit (i.e. calorie reduction) is classic grieving stuff.

 

[Slim Boglim]

This dude just pronounced genre as "genners." I hope this replaces persauge. What an amazing stream lol

Persad, genners, permittable, ava grande, Gobread Gilford Biago. What other cobraism words are there? Not referring to getting an idiom wrong but butchering individual words or names

 

[Negev]

View attachment 5527125

I am genuinely getting worried that he is going to die from a tooth infection, and we might end up watching him die on camera while he refuses to see a dentist.

He is talking about Ozzy like he's Jesus "It doesn't matter as long as you celebrate ozzys birthday"

 

[HiveDull]

It's pretty funny how he thinks that others take what he says a twists it so it makes him look bad. Like, I've got all this straight from his mouth and it 100% does not make him look at better.

I don't know if this article is satire or not but according to it you can give your bearded dragon alcohol from time to time

My brother in Christ, I don't think anyone should be giving alcohol to an animal. Cobra gave weed to his dog "as a treat" and the dog fucking died.
As far as I'm concerned a correct "treat" for a lizard would be raw meat.

Don't get me wrong, friend. I'm not here to sperg out about lizards. I'm just here to watch Cobes do thought loops and ramble.

 

[Strap-on Makima]

Lmao cobes' actually hoping for Puff to turn up in June when he's done hibernating.

 

['Ole Dente]

Bet he's trying to butter him up for a Vegan Gains style documentary.

oh good another documentary or video essay or series on cobies that’s exactly what we need, another midwit spending four hours plumbing the mysteries of Cobra. Let’s delve into the mystery of his food hacks, i’m sure it’s a thrilling tale

let me save everyone some time if they’re unaware

Spoiler

he is retarded

don’t forget R.I.P homeboy scotty, that’s a really funny meme

 

[Healthy Boy Brand]

oh good another documentary or video essay or series on cobies that’s exactly what we need, another midwit spending four hours plumbing the mysteries of Cobra. Let’s delve into the mystery of his food hacks, i’m sure it’s a thrilling tale

let me save everyone some time if they’re unaware

Spoiler

he is retarded

don’t forget R.I.P homeboy scotty, that’s a really funny meme

Hey, this midwit could make a Warmload segment as he's a certified pronoun respecter.

 

[Negev]

oh good another documentary or video essay or series on cobies that’s exactly what we need, another midwit spending four hours plumbing the mysteries of Cobra. Let’s delve into the mystery of his food hacks, i’m sure it’s a thrilling tale

let me save everyone some time if they’re unaware

Spoiler

he is retarded

don’t forget R.I.P homeboy scotty, that’s a really funny meme

The explosion of youtube essays about lolcows has been really fucking annoying, 20 retards make the same video reading a wiki or a thread from here and hopes they get a million views and they just attract more significantly more retarded people to here.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

The only documentary I wanna see is maybe one on all the secondary characters. Talk to Darf Lenny, Warlord, summon the spirit of Scotty, talk to the neighbours, maybe ask about how Clint does as an intimacy cheorgrapher— shit like that.

It would be interesting to hear the neighbours mention bags of ice in the halls, yelling at 2am, thumps and cries from his hovel, and the smell seeping under the door.

Tou focus on Cobes and he just puts on that weird TV Presenter personality, begs for free shit, and then gets drunk. Everyone is nice because they have manners and they don’t ask him anything relevant, and he won’t answer anyway.

Plus, I imagine it would piss him the fuck off that anyone got any attention but him

 

[Xenomorph]

Honestly the paypigging is gonna get worse since we are now entering the Christmas holidays..I think I need to tap out because he is gonna get more and more entitled, bratty, snotty, smarmy, lazy and most of all not funny until round Feb when the money train slows down a lot.

 

[Big Dogs Gonna Eat]

cobes documentary snip

I think what'd you'd really need to do to fully witness the boglim fairly is to get drunk with him and crash on his couch for two days. Pretend your live streaming too or something when you're recording him. Since nobody in their right mind would ever do that and be good at it your suggestion is probably a lot more entertaining.

 

[Jasper2K]

I knew you sucked the troon dick Tom but I didn’t know you were a paypig. I don’t know why we expected better.
View attachment 5526995

Tom's really pulling an Icarus here. Won't be long until he's the one in a gay youtube documentary.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

The lizard is almost certainly still inside his apartment next to something warm, like behind the fridge or something. He should crank up the heat and put out a bowl of fruit. Of course the fauna of his apartment would have a go at it as well, in a way just more bait...

It's not, he literally took it outside.

 

[Bogliacci]

Guess I was going through cobes withdraw because even a begging stream is refreshing

oh man, a gendur relayshuns rant too, might have to listen to this whole thing!

 

[Kugelsak Kastengrus 6th]

Raising an autist is never easy, but some of the co-morbidities that occur with autism make it exponentially worse. Clint seems like the good intentions parent mixed with Ned Flanders' parents. He tried little to nothing, attempted idle threats, and was all outta options. As discussed with other cows, Cobes is a product of both nature and nurture. Clint could have easily saved everyone a headache and followed through with sending him to a group home.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Raising an autist is never easy, but some of the co-morbidities that occur with autism make it exponentially worse. Clint seems like the good intentions parent mixed with Ned Flanders' parents. He tried little to nothing, attempted idle threats, and was all outta options. As discussed with other cows, Cobes is a product of both nature and nurture. Clint could have easily saved everyone a headache and followed through with sending him to a group home.

Group home option isn’t the magic solution. Every now and then someone with professional tard wrangling experience explains they have rules and will kick you out if you don’t follow them. Don’t smoke, don’t fight, have basic hygiene, don’t get black out drunk and vomit onto the floor. I’m no expert but probably don’t want you shooting cum ropes onto the carpet either.

Cobes would be booted in days.

Mental institution is closest we could get and he would have to commit a crime for that shit.

 

[Kugelsak Kastengrus 6th]

Group home option isn’t the magic solution. Every now and then someone with professional tard wrangling experience explains they have rules and will kick you out if you don’t follow them. Don’t smoke, don’t fight, have basic hygiene, don’t get black out drunk and vomit onto the floor. I’m no expert but probably don’t want you shooting cum ropes onto the carpet either.

Cobes would be booted in days.

Mental institution is closest we could get and he would have to commit a crime for that shit.

I agree, especially Cobes as he is now. Factor in that he'll also be sexually harassing all the female wranglers.

This is something that clearly could have been nipped in the bud during the early years when taking away cables and punishment haircuts were still effective.