Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I wanna reiterate something about the "fuck wellness checks": I'm talking about people who clearly drink a ton and have all the alcohol tolerance in the world. I'm absolutely NOT talking about a passed-out 15 year old, etc., like some people are citing.

I guess I made the mistake of implying the opposite when I said "no one does it after drinking on their own". I'm pretty much thinking of myself who... it would be almost impossible for me to drink enough to throw up anymore. If I'm passed out, you damn well better let me pass out.
Guessing that's the confusion; sorry about that.

One of the most seasoned veteran drinkers I've ever known died from passing out and asphyxiating on his vomit. It doesn't matter what tolerance level you have; it happens—and a lot easier and quicker than you think. Nobody here thinks you're cool because you're an alcoholic. You are absolutely lying to yourself if you think it can't happen to you.
 
How big was the bottle of JD he polished off, was that a 750ML bottle? Had to be at least that big. Has anyone here (no judging) every drank that much whiskey in a 4 hour setting?
From scrubbing the stream is seems like he spilled nearly half of it, the second spill that set off his biggest tard rage looked like it was a nearly a quarter of the bottle. He did polish off 4 tall boys before hitting the jack and seems like he had some extra beer in the fridge for after. I'm going to suspect empty stomach as well, those beers had him pretty sloppy already, his tolerance does seem to be gone to shit thanks to the mead saga.

I'd guess he binge drinks in waves, mostly due to finanical constraints, which is the funny as hell given how much paypig money he's been getting the past few months. Any other drunk would be able to comfortable keep themselves in booze 24/7 with his money, but cobes is a boglim with the least impulse control I've ever seen in a human being, it's genuinely toddler level. He can't alocate his funds correctly for his own addictions.

I'm on the fence about how much he actually drinks and how regularly, I believe too deep into the alcoholism to stop, but I'd guess he's more of a binge drinker alcoholic then a 24/7 drunk with a proper physical addiction. Hard to say for sure when he actively tries to hide it and rarely goes live, if he was black out all the time I feel like we'd see more evidence from facebook and posts.

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't taken up meth, given many people around him are clearly hooked on it, and how common it is among poor whites in shithole towns. He'll huff computer duster but won't get spun with warmload or homefelon? Boy is a mystery, at least he'd have a better excuse for his teeth.
 
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I'm on the fence about how much he actually drinks and how regularly, I believe too deep into the alcoholism to stop, but I'd guess he's more of a binge drinker alcoholic then a 24/7 drunk with a proper physical addiction.
Cobes inability to save money is the main thing that keeps him from becoming that type of 24/7 always drunk alcoholic.
 
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When he got asked if you can use tactical soap to wash your butt and got flabbergasted by the question but answered it anyways I laugh way harder than I probably should have.
 
Lmao he's trying to play it off cool like, but he's tellin it like it is saying he cant do anything without people riding his ass and being fucked with.
It’s true though, there is nothing he can do now where people won’t fuck with him. Nevermind that he’s partly to blame for that by broadcasting every part of his life to the internet and that usually includes the dumbest decisions a human can make, he can’t even go to the bar and play pool with his friends. Trolls slam their phones up with calls about the “widely known rapist youtuber” and shit. There is basic shit normal people can do that this guy is just not able to do anymore or it invites potential murder at the hands of the police, it’s fucking wild and cruel.
 
Started watching Scorpion's reupload of the weekend disaster this evening. I'm about an hour and 15 mins in, kinda boring so far but Josh's stream of consciousness rambling is intensifying with every second. Talk about the calm before the storm

Edit: "got this London Fog trenchcoat i love, super toasty" not a sponsor, just free advertising dood
 
I'd guess he binge drinks in waves, mostly due to finanical constraints, which is the funny as hell given how much paypig money he's been getting the past few months. Any other drunk would be able to comfortable keep themselves in booze 24/7 with his money, but cobes is a boglim with the least impulse control I've ever seen in a human being, it's genuinely toddler level. He can't alocate his funds correctly for his own addictions.
The $60 pizzas would be pure lol to a more advanced alcoholic. You could get trashed for three days with $60, maybe even four or five if you cheap out.

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The $60 pizzas would be pure lol to a more advanced alcoholic. You could get trashed for three days with $60, maybe even four or five if you cheap out.

cobes in a different world than the usual alcoholic. he can spend money on incredibly inefficient means of getting drunk because he'll just have to do a begstream for dentheads to re-up his booze supply. the "meads" are like 50+ bucks of groceries to get less alcohol than a white claw.

the toddler comparisons, while played out, are very apt here. he hasn't had to develop the scumbag survival techniques an alcoholic/addict usually develops. he doesn't need to economize his drinking, doesn't need to come up with ways to hide his consumption (other than 'turn the camera off' which he stills fucks up), and doesn't have to appear functional for family gatherings, since they all seem to write him off as a drunken retard from the get-go. much like a toddler, as long as clint doesnt have to literally clean the dump out of his pants, he's doing great, keep on rockin bud.

even among addicts, josh is uniquely retarded due to having everything catered by the trinity of doordash, paypigs, and daddy.
 
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When he got asked if you can use tactical soap to wash your butt and got flabbergasted by the question but answered it anyways I laugh way harder than I probably should have.
“Tactical soap” is something that I would love to see exist, in the most un-ironic way I can imagine. Just think how clean you would look if the soap forces you to clean yourself.
 
I can't buy a 750ml of scotch or I will do this. I know people who would go through an entire handle on a big Saturday night back in college.
Wait until someone tells him about Everclear and how much of a badass you need to be to drink this “MANS DRINK”, because it’s 190 proof pure grain alcohol. Jord would actually seize up and keel over in the most spectacular way during a live stream. TWU!
 
Wait until someone tells him about Everclear and how much of a badass you need to be to drink this “MANS DRINK”, because it’s 190 proof pure grain alcohol. Jord would actually seize up and keel over in the most spectacular way during a live stream. TWU!
He's already had his taste of everclear and absinthe, he doesn't seek them out though. They get sent to him. He put the cottoncandy cheese powder into the bottle of everclear to make it drinkable.
 
He's already had his taste of everclear and absinthe, he doesn't seek them out though. They get sent to him.
Makes sense that people already send him this shit. I guess he will forever be a girly drink kind of man. I’d still like to see him try to make a drink combo with Everclear in a live stream.
 
Funny that you mention it. He's still struggeling with 100 = 80 + x. As much as I'd like to see all of the people of the extended Cobra universe take a PSAT, I think it's fair to say that Cobes is way more retarded than the average Casperite.

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Clint needs to bring our boy to Turkey for cheap hair plugs and dental work, weather permitting.

I'm not saying that Cobes isn't dumb as fuck currently; its that 10 years ago he wasn't far from the baseline average intelligence of the other people in his sphere. He's certainly drank himself more retarded than he was a decade ago; but my point is he isn't nearly retarded enough to become the responsibility of the state and you don't get put in a group home because you get drunk and throw up on yourself.
 
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I can't believe that I missed this stream. I watched the archive, does anyone have a timestamp where he pukes on himself?

Also, the bit with the mouse was absolutely fantastic.
 
he isn't nearly retarded enough to become the responsibility of the state and you don't get put in a group home because you get drunk and throw up on yourself.
the thing with group homes as well is that even if you are retarded enough to be in one there are no promises they will let you in. there are plenty of homeless people roaming around with enough issues that they could also qualify for a group home but for one reason or another they did not make the cut. as far as cobes is concerned he is retarded as fuck but he is smart enough to stream and make videos in general. he knows how to go to the store and get food.

he can cook things which while those things are usually abominations of some kind they still count as cooked food. that being said i do not think he would even last long in a group home unless they drugged him so hard he became a zombie. his refusal to do things would make him rather difficult to deal with and would ultimately result in him being kicked out on the street.
 
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