Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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snort beg snort said:
I feel like some of y'all are not aware of how resilient the human body really is. He could keep going like this for decades. All the "he's not gonna make it to 202X" posts are kinda unfounded bullshit. People have said the same about onlyusemeblade for years and yet he's still going.

The human body is tough and in the grand scheme of things cobra doesn't really drink that much, as in, he's not actually destroying himself at the rate some of you seem to believe. He's fuckin braindead, his teeth are rotting out of his head, he's got trench foot, and I'm sure other medical issues but he's gonna keep on keeping on until something major happens. Otherwise it's a slow burn.
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If he was just drinking I'd agree with you, but that duster shit is playing Russian Roulette every time he uses it. And it seems that he's using it a LOT. He's having absence seizures on stream, showing that he already has brain damage. If you offered me a choice between getting hooked on duster and getting hooked on heroin, I'd shoot up the smack every time. I'd certainly live longer as a junkie, that's for sure.
 
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ilovejews said:
Duster, buddy, duster. He literally can drop dead after any given huff, as it's been stated several times. And he can obviously get his hands on some.
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It's not just that it's starting to snowball too, before he was amazingly resilient but now multiple things are combining with conditions he already has causing new ones, I'm not saying we're going to see him die this year or even next but there is serious decline already happened with the start of this year and the end of it, so a major problem medically isn't off the table, possibly an arrest he can't derp his way out of even with Lord Nipples help.
 
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Agares said:
Most of his streams are unwatchable nontent but once in a blue moon you'll end up catching something like his 31st birthday stream or the cop meltdown live.
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I don't remember who said it but it was on one of seizures streams a while back, that the best way to watch Josh is to let him ramble on in the background, because eventually, he will say something that will stab at your brain, and to me it feels like the undisputed truth - He wasn't ment to be looked at for long periods of time, will rot your brain.

Also, here to hoping that his new schizo duster goth queen returns, as she might bring some much needed spousal arguing into Josh's life.
 
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I was reminiscing about old cobra and realized this is still my favorite video. It’s such a good example of how dumb he is. Confusing “genetic” for generic for one. But for two his instance on saying the same sentence “this here is…” and not understanding why Siri keeps activating is cause “this here is” sounds like “hey siri” so he just sits there trying to say what he wants to say, Siri activating, and then getting mad at his phone and then starting over. Even when he’s successfully said “this here is mountain lightning” if he gets interrupted he has to start over and go back to square one “this here is…” which triggers Siri and causes him to freak out. Finally after minutes of trying he manages to say what he’s been struggling to say and it’s just “this here is mountain lightning and it’s delicious” this was my introduction to cobes waaaay back. I genuinely thought he was playing a character and there was no way he’s that dumb. Many years later. He really is that dumb. Maybe I’m preaching to the choir but if anybody hasn’t watched that video before I hope I can be the one to introduce it to new audiences
 
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Grift Garrison said:
This video reminds me of me updating my wife on the Cobraverse while she's doing other shit and couldn't give a fuck less.
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Same shit happens to me I feel like Bateman in American psycho talking about Huey Lewis

Me: …and on the infamous Valentine’s Day stream he knocks over his cobra cane, and get this, it spills his drink! Know what happens next?”
Gf: *deep sigh* I don’t know, Slim, he cleans it up?”
Me: No! He gets mad at the cane for knocking his drink over! He blames the inanimate object that HE moved, can you believe it?!
GF: Damn, thats crazy.
Me: here’s the kicker, he absolutely hollers a mighty “GODDAMNIIIIIIT” it what he said just before that has become a running joke in the community but here’s the thing almost everybody gets the quote completely wrong. It’s a misconception that what he yells is “I just spilled the last drink combination I haaaaaaaadd!” What he actually yelled that day was “I just spilt the entire fuckin drink combination i haaaaaaaaaaaadddd” now, it does kind of bother me that basically nobody gets the quote right but it is what it is. Maybe it being the last one makes for better memes
Gf: Maybe.
 
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ASeabear8952 said:
So that NakedAndLaughing chick that was flirting with Cobes apparently deleted her channel. Someone on the subreddit claimed it was because a Doordasher told her on stream that he uses Chaturbate. Anyone have a clip of this? Or is it typical Reddit bullshit?
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What happened is what happens to every person who gets close to this guy they get chased away by psychos this guy has his own praetor group who are even more insane than Caden and the troon lovers that suckle on his penis. Cobra is not wrong every girl in his life will get chased away he’s just oblivious to the fact that the people who do it are people he talks to and not the whackos on the subreddit.
 
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Slim Boglim said:
Same shit happens to me I feel like Bateman in American psycho talking about Huey Lewis

Me: …and on the infamous Valentine’s Day stream he knocks over his cobra cane, and get this, it spills his drink! Know what happens next?”
Gf: *deep sigh* I don’t know, Slim, he cleans it up?”
Me: No! He gets mad at the cane for knocking his drink over! He blames the inanimate object that HE moved, can you believe it?!
GF: Damn, thats crazy.
Me: here’s the kicker, he absolutely hollers a mighty “GODDAMNIIIIIIT” it what he said just before that has become a running joke in the community but here’s the thing almost everybody gets the quote completely wrong. It’s a misconception that what he yells is “I just spilled the last drink combination I haaaaaaaadd!” What he actually yelled that day was “I just spilt the entire fuckin drink combination i haaaaaaaaaaaadddd” now, it does kind of bother me that basically nobody gets the quote right but it is what it is. Maybe it being the last one makes for better memes
Gf: Maybe.
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I love that movie. This got a mighty giggle out of me.
 
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I find it hard to believe any woman is actually interested in Cobes in any sexual way. They are always coming around to get attention — that’s it.

He’s not good looking. Doesn’t have big muscles. We’ve seen his little cock with its 10 pounds of dynamite and a 3 second fuse. Doesn’t have a bright future. He’s pretty much a homeless man with severe disabilities.

People don’t chase the women away as much as they get close to the storm and see he’s not worth it.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
I find it hard to believe any woman is actually interested in Cobes in any sexual way. They are always coming around to get attention — that’s it.
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I agree with your point, but at the end of the day that woman is human too, and to be inclusive to the very, very, small chance she actually is being real, a almost 40-year-old bipolar crack and duster addict probably has a "this is as good as I can realistically get" understanding of life where she can be sustained with food and utilities so long as she puts on the black thigh highs and make-up.

Still, this is going to be another gothie, but who knows, a man can hope that maybe the third times the charm.
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
What happened is what happens to every person who gets close to this guy they get chased away by psychos this guy has his own praetor group who are even more insane than Caden and the troon lovers that suckle on his penis. Cobra is not wrong every girl in his life will get chased away he’s just oblivious to the fact that the people who do it are people he talks to and not the whackos on the subreddit.
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Her channel is still up. She was commenting like a psycho on his videos last night. She's live right now streaming a bottle of nyquil and listening to the boy.

 
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Bixby Snyder said:
I find it hard to believe any woman is actually interested in Cobes in any sexual way
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It's impressive that Cobes used to smash often. Sure, they were dumpy one-night stands and were probably intoxicated, but Cobes took them to the Cobra lair and got laid.

Now, I would give all the drugs in the world and my clock tower dream house mansion to learn how he came about getting these women into his apartment.
Did he walk them there? Did they use public transport? Did the women drive him back home and did he invite them in? Maybe he used his bike because weather was permitting.
 
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ASeabear8952 said:
So that NakedAndLaughing chick that was flirting with Cobes apparently deleted her channel. Someone on the subreddit claimed it was because a Doordasher told her on stream that he uses Chaturbate. Anyone have a clip of this? Or is it typical Reddit bullshit?
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That's BS. She was going on and on about her love for Cobes, as she does every day and night and will likely continue to do.
Channel was deleted for a moment after she deleted the last long livestream where she had stripped for him.

He came on as Mod a few times after her whimpering for hours. It's crazy actually. "He's perfect!"
She was asked if she is now his girlfriend. She repeatedly said, that's up to him.

Only thing he gave her was this:
kcjfs if nal is his girlfriend dec23.JPG

and the question of their child's name is still controversial lol
 
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