Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

This whole turn of events is nothing new under the sun. Just ignore anything being said and view the whole situation like it's part of a David Attenborough nature documentary about a species of really ugly, hairless apes and their mating rituals and it will all make a lot more sense.

Observing the H. Baconatorus Casperensis in its native habitat is breathtaking.

 

[whogoesthere]

. This is the most absurd arc that nobody could’ve ever foreseen and I can’t lie, youtube, I’m enjoying it and I’m happy for the boy.

You are wrong, because one person spoke about it often, and for years now. Cobra. He said if he waited patiently, the women would come (like field of dreams, but with more filth and dirt).

We all mocked him, told jokes about his shitty soap. But do any of us have women flying in to see us? Do we have legions of followers willing to help crowdfund our sexual escapades. He isn't even leaving his hovel, and he is getting it.

Bros, I am thinking we failed to listen to his words, and now Cobra has shown us our error.

We must repent, we must accept Cobra into our hearts and use his promo code for Tactical (rape) soap, and we too shall receive the blessing of over the hill BPD whores fighting for our cocks.

 

[Meatslide]

This is a cobraverse pet peeve of mine. The idea is you tell him not to do something; so, then he does it out of spiteful defiance. I constantly see redditors and newfags not understanding this and just commanding him to do the thing.

I think it would be hilarious if this became a trend. It would be the lifestyle he always wanted, just achieved ironically through unlikely means: despite all odds, he will have random women falling into his lap wanting sex, a fan base almost at 100k followers (and growing), free booze & money constantly being thrown at him, and he makes albums that literally sell out when they're sold by his label. It's all happening completely for the wrong reasons, but it doesn't matter to Cobes. He gets money, sex, booze, and popularity at the end of the day. Through a perfect series of accidental choices, and simple stubborn perseverance, he's materialized everything he's ever wanted. A beautiful cosmic joke, if there ever was one.

Weather Permittable**

I know Cobes ODD, I was pointing out how he would be potentially more of a terrible parent with people demanding how he should raise his child and his inability to stop slaying the trolls by being a toddler himself.

But his ODD would be terrible no matter what for his potential baby boglim.

 

[The Blue Morpho]

We all mocked him, told jokes about his shitty soap. But do any of us have women flying in to see us? Do we have legions of followers willing to help crowdfund our sexual escapades. He isn't even leaving his hovel, and he is getting it.

Common Tactical Gentleman W

 

[ASeabear8952]

I can’t believe that in the year of our lord 2024, Cobra is a brain dead drooling drunk on SSI with two women fighting over him and coming out to see him. This is the most absurd arc that nobody could’ve ever foreseen and I can’t lie, youtube, I’m enjoying it and I’m happy for the boy.

I’m enjoying myself, the cow is enjoying themselves, reddit is seething and coping…life is just good sometimes.

I have to admit, I didn't expect the appearance of a second hag. This shit is great.

I absolutely agree. And the inevitable cat fight will just be the icing on the cake.

 

[Raiken]

i don't care that he has two hags fighting over his broken dick, i just enjoy the absurd cenario that makes people upset.

 

[tony tortellini]

I think it would be hilarious if this became a trend. It would be the lifestyle he always wanted, just achieved ironically through unlikely means: despite all odds, he will have random women falling into his lap wanting sex, a fan base almost at 100k followers (and growing), free booze & money constantly being thrown at him, and he makes albums that literally sell out when they're sold by his label. It's all happening completely for the wrong reasons, but it doesn't matter to Cobes. He gets money, sex, booze, and popularity at the end of the day. Through a perfect series of accidental choices, and simple stubborn perseverance, he's materialized everything he's ever wanted. A beautiful cosmic joke, if there ever was one.

I was just thinking about this the other night. For all of his faults, the little bastard has been consistently putting himself out there for a solid decade and a half at this point, and it’s slowly but surely started working. He’s stalwartly held his ground this entire time. The world wasn't ready for him 10 years ago, but something remarkable has happened in the time since he began: the internet got stupider. He didn’t change, everything changed around him. Cobra always wins.

 

[Spunt]

STATUS UPDATE:

Hags: Fighting
Soap: Tactical
Reddit: Seething
Hoes: Mad
Cobes: Winning

ANALYSIS: CONDITION GREEN

 

[Tetragrammaton]

i greatly look forward to the formation of the cobra harem. soon cobes will be living like a saudi prince from the comfort of his boglim cave all while the trolls lose their minds.

 

['Ole Dente]

But do any of us have women flying in to see us? Do we have legions of followers willing to help crowdfund our sexual escapades?

This user brings up a great point.

Gentlemen, it’s come to my attention that I am missing one thing in my life. A profound and vacuous hole exists in my heart and the only thing that can fill it is 3 McDoubles and a BPD coke whore.

But with your help and generous donations, I could fill that chasm in my heart. I could wipe the tears from my eyes and live out my dream of being tormented by some insipid asshole all day while enjoying the heavenly bliss of those sweet, sweet McDoubles.

All I ask is that you nominate one female user of your choosing who is both BPD and an actual pain in your ass (And who isn’t fat, we save them for our dear feeder) along with a money order of $150. Don’t let my dream die.

 

[Spunt]

This user brings up a great point.

Gentlemen, it’s come to my attention that I am missing one thing in my life. A profound and vacuous hole exists in my heart and the only thing that can fill it is 3 McDoubles and a BPD coke whore.

But with your help and generous donations, I could fill that chasm in my heart. I could wipe the tears from my eyes and live out my dream of being tormented by some insipid asshole all day while enjoying the heavenly bliss of those sweet, sweet McDoubles.

All I ask is that you nominate one female user of your choosing who is both BPD and an actual pain in your ass (And who isn’t fat, we save them for our dear feeder) along with a money order of $150. Don’t let my dream die.

I nominate @Mormon BPD Cokewhore. Comes highly recommended by @Lowtax, who is also an expert on the McDoubles lifestyle.

 

[whogoesthere]

This user brings up a great point.

I know I do, and you may mock me, but you lack the skills of Cobra.

Will you huff duster to achieve this end? Will you have a carpet covered in cum, beer and who the fuck knows what else? Will you get drunk and play with a loaded shotgun on webcam? Will you be outsmarted by a lizard?

You mock Cobra, but he is the very best of men when you consider he is an unattractive cave goblin, with a broken brain and almost no sense of self. When you consider the balance, he is knocking it out of the park.

LONG LIVE COBRA!

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Will you have a carpet covered in cum, beer and who the fuck knows what else?

This is the one thing that every single person who has entered the cobra den failed to do, even Jessica. I want to see a HD photo of the carpet in front of the bug farm chair. Cobra has sat there for years watching chaturbate and fangirl facetimes, puking, spilling, jizzing, dropping. I want to see the horror.

 

['Ole Dente]

and you may mock me

Nah i’m just being silly today mate, ur good

 

[whogoesthere]

Nah i’m just being silly today mate, ur good

Its ok buddy, I am just having fun as well, no harm intended in the Bog Stand, just laughter and horror at this shitshow unfolding.

(I am hoping for and against a child out of this, just for morbid curiosity)

 

[Goatchoker]

This whole crossover of BP and the cobraverse has been awesome.

This truly should be an og version of a jerry springer episode.
I bet all of them would get on the pole.

 

['Ole Dente]

I nominate @Mormon BPD Cokewhore. Comes highly recommended by @Lowtax, who is also an expert on the McDoubles lifestyle.

Normally I wouldn’t consider murderers or people who’ve given head to Lowtax viable candidates but she’s pretty enough to overlook those things.

Edit: Nevermind she’s a social media marketing strategist that operates out of LA, I would actually prefer if she was just a murderer.

 

[Doxmatix]

Probably the same buddy troll who bought the last one for her. She mentioned him previously on stream.

I suspect it's the same person who flew with NAL to Casper on the first trip, who sat directly behind her on the plane, took photos in the airport and then followed her home (despite her leaving on a different day than originally planned).

 

[Dissociative]

Fan girl Kate aka JaneDoe420 real name is Patricia Lynn Kunco...she's in her 40's not 26 https://www.facebook.com/patricia.kunco

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

The hag as returned! His brain is absolutely cooked in this one.

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rip cobes