Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Bixby Snyder]

Simple answer he is a drunk with fucked up teeth.

 

[Captain Ahab]

There is a popular saying on the internet:

"Look what no pussy does to a mf"

This is like the opposite of that. Cobes finally broke the dry spell and now he's like a shell of himself. The lights are on but he's just going through the motions. Dude looks miserable.

He wanted to end the dry spell with a hot big-titted goth girlfriend, not some middle-aged mentally ill crackhead with saggy tits. Deep down he knows he didn’t own the trolls.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The dry spell shattered but the Gypsy curse from the hag replaced it

It was supposed to be "thinner" like the Stephen King book, but the Gypsy fucked it up and said "trailer" instead.

 

[garlic mayo]

“These pinwheels were sitting in the fridge for a couple days so they ended up getting nice and solid.” Did he not make them last night? Also I was wondering why he procrastinated eating besides the obvious explanation being boglim’s razor and

I have a new theory. I once had a roommate that was a huge stoner and he had a habit of smoking weed before he ate. When he was broke and couldn’t smoke or didn’t have weed he wouldn’t eat until the next time he smoked. It wasn’t a conscious decision either, he didn’t notice until we pointed it out. Whenever we made food and offered it to him and he didn’t have weed to smoke he’d say he wasn’t hungry and when we asked if he ate anything that day he’d shrug and say no cause he wasn’t hungry. Then, next time he got weed or somebody smoked him up (which to be fair wouldn’t be a long stretch of time maybe a day or two at most) he’d gorge himself.

I can’t believe I never made the connection until now but maybe Josh has a similar habit. Gets high before he eats cause it make food more pleasurable, does that enough that it becomes a habit and conditions his body that weed = time to eat, and subsequently conditions it that no weed = not time to eat

Loss of appetite when sober is a known thing in chronic weed smokers, it's usually referred to as being a stonerexic.
The simplified explanation is that it happens because normally the hunger hormones ghrelin and leptin are activated by interacting with the body's natural cannabinoids, but when one smokes all day every day the receptors get blown out and the baseline cannabinoid amount needed for the hormone activation gets increased beyond the natural capability of the sober body. therefore the hunger hormones don't get activated unless one effectively doses themselves with some cannabinoids via weed.
The cannabinoid requirements to activate hunger when sober is related to weed tolerance and loss of appetite be taken as a warning sign for developing cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, so if josh starts complaining about random nausea then..

(Vomiting is also a symptom but with him that could be from anything)

 

[BlastMonk]

More sunoposting. I copied the entire Wiki's contents into Claude and asked it to write a long ass rock ballad covering Cobra's whole life and it gave me the lyrics for this.
Thanks again to everyone who has contributed to the wiki. Total word count is now 41,900. In single-spaced 12pt Arial, that's 93 pages. Literally enough to fill a book lol and still so much more to cover!
View attachment 6143448

Amazing song, kinda scary how much AI songs improved just in a few months from people making Fatrick parody songs

 

[Ran-chan]

I don't think Josh smokes very much weed at all these days. It had to be procured when NAL was in town (implying he had none on hand) and I really can't see him maintaining a good relationship with a weed guy or even being able to find one willing to drop off at his trailer since it's not like he goes anywhere. He probably does still smoke shitty delta-8 carts but you never see him hit them in his videos. I still think when people were saying he was on pills with NAL that was just him crossfaded on actual weed for once.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

There is a popular saying on the internet:
"Look what no pussy does to a mf"
This is like the opposite of that. Cobes finally broke the dry spell and now he's like a shell of himself. The lights are on but he's just going through the motions. Dude looks miserable.

Selling your soul for some lot lizard schizoid bog hag rotten hamburger pussy is goth as fuck toobs.
I'm curious to see how the trailer will boglimize like the first apartment did over time as it becomes his final resting place. The tar and nicotine stains. The cigarette burns. The food splatter everywhere. The spilled drink combos. The cum crusted carpet in front of his computer. Sadly no paint fumes or wood shavings since the boy doesn't even make juans anymore. I don't know if anybody else here has pointed out but with apartments any maintenance or upkeep is managements responsibility. So Clit is either gonna end up working weekends to fix or keep the boy's hovel from falling apart, or just wash his hands and say "it is what it is facebook." if the trailer gets condemned because of failson's inability to do anything.

 

[ibeatmywife]

I don't think Josh smokes very much weed at all these days. It had to be procured when NAL was in town (implying he had none on hand) and I really can't see him maintaining a good relationship with a weed guy or even being able to find one willing to drop off at his trailer since it's not like he goes anywhere. He probably does still smoke shitty delta-8 carts but you never see him hit them in his videos. I still think when people were saying he was on pills with NAL that was just him crossfaded on actual weed for once.

Also delta 8 was just banned in casper the law went into effect July 1st. I also do not think cobes is a weed smoker he's never seemed to be into it besides to look cool and tbh I think the thought of being caught with something illegal terrifies him to the point he doesn't bother.


Also I actually think if nal wasn't so violent and manipulative her and cobes would be a perfect match they are actually alot alike. Problem is as it currently stands one of them will likely end up dead or in jail if they move in together.

 

[JambledUpWords]

He wanted to end the dry spell with a hot big-titted goth girlfriend, not some middle-aged mentally ill crackhead with saggy tits. Deep down he knows he didn’t own the trolls.

Not like he ever had a chance of obtaining that. He wishes, but he’s lucky any woman will touch him, given his appearance and lack of hygiene.

NAL is pretty much a very specific form of karma for Cobes. NAL insisted on being the more dominant one, even though his ideal is a woman that just sits in the background and looks pretty. NAL has the dark hair and pale skin he likes, but with other features being far from what he actually wants. Cobes wanted sex, but NAL wanted it so often that he grew tired of it. Cobes wanted someone “of age,” and he got a woman older than himself. There couldn’t have been a worse person to break the “dry spell” for Cobes.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

I don't think Josh smokes very much weed at all these days

He definitely doesn't smoke it often, but it's always extremely obvious when he's high. He uses edibles. I don't think wyoming has banned delta8 yet, but people also mail him shit all the time. Whenever he's talking in slow motion, he's taken edibles.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Simple answer he is a drunk with fucked up teeth.

Probably the final form of Boglim's Razor. If you ever have to ask why he does something, it's because he's a retarded drunk with fucked up teeth.

 

[anliteralidiot]

NAL has the dark hair and pale skin he likes

She's been working on her tan...

She was showing off the tanlines on one stream.

I still maintain that no one deserves a karma.like NAL, unless they're a fuckin sicko or something. She's toxic.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

He wanted to end the dry spell with a hot big-titted goth girlfriend, not some middle-aged mentally ill crackhead with saggy tits. Deep down he knows he didn’t own the trolls.

I still think ending the dry spell was a small win for Cobra (although terrible in the long run). For half a decade every troll on the sub made sure to rub it in his face he was never getting laid again and that his dry spell was eternal. People would send TTS's and text him about how he'd die never getting laid again it really really bothered him to the point where he would rant about his dry spell for hours in old videos. I think he actually shocked people including myself when he did finally break it.

 

[ibeatmywife]

I still think ending the dry spell was a small win for Cobra (although terrible in the long run). For half a decade every troll on the sub made sure to rub it in his face he was never getting laid again and that his dry spell was eternal. People would send TTS's and text him about how he'd die never getting laid again it really really bothered him to the point where he would rant about his dry spell for hours in old videos. I think he actually shocked people including myself when he did finally break it.

It was hard for me to believe he ever got laid at all and wasn't a virgin but then when you watch his older content you realize he wasn't as bad. Nal was definitely the best he will ever get now though and he should be greatful I'm sure he is because he has the power of boglim he can just treat her like a cum dumpster and as long as she doesn't manage to worm her way into the trailer for good he should be insulated from her to some extent.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Nal was definitely the best he will ever get now though

I unironically think he could get better than NAL, even without the help of a dentist or cutting back on booze. Cobra , right now, could do better than NAL. The thing is, he doesn't try. He wouldn't have even fucked NAL if buddy trolls didn't buy her a ticket and pay her cab fare to be doordashed to the bogden. I don't subscribe to incel nonsense, it's easy to get laid, and the farms has proven that repeatedly with all of the different colours of weirdos and degenerates. It's easy to fuck other people, you just have to make a minimal effort when you're a goblin.

 

[ibeatmywife]

I unironically think he could get better than NAL, even without the help of a dentist or cutting back on booze. Cobra , right now, could do better than NAL. The thing is, he doesn't try. He wouldn't have even fucked NAL if buddy trolls didn't buy her a ticket and pay her cab fare to be doordashed to the bogden. I don't subscribe to incel nonsense, it's easy to get laid, and the farms has proven that repeatedly with all of the different colours of weirdos and degenerates. It's easy to fuck other people, you just have to make a minimal effort when you're a goblin.

Well you'd have to define "better" he could have easily banged some hooker similar to nal whenever he wanted and not have to deal with her nagging him or wanting to move into his trailer. As for him finding a genuinely good hearted person who loves him for him? Not likely and I highly doubt that.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I unironically think he could get better than NAL, even without the help of a dentist or cutting back on booze. Cobra , right now, could do better than NAL. The thing is, he doesn't try. He wouldn't have even fucked NAL if buddy trolls didn't buy her a ticket and pay her cab fare to be doordashed to the bogden. I don't subscribe to incel nonsense, it's easy to get laid, and the farms has proven that repeatedly with all of the different colours of weirdos and degenerates. It's easy to fuck other people, you just have to make a minimal effort when you're a goblin.

Only marginally better. It’s the same conundrum with Cobes getting a job, except “would you take one for the team and bang Cobra to end his dry spell?” I’m betting most people would say “no.” I find Cobes to be an interesting case study, but no way in hell would I actually have sex with him. It’s asking a lot for someone to put up with his level of hygiene, and only someone with comparable levels to himself would be able to do it. It’s why his only options right now are people as slovenly as he is.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

but no way in hell would I actually have sex with him

You might not, but multiple women have. Like I said it's easy to get laid. He might not be able to get into a loving and stable relationship, but he could easily find someone more attractive and less gross than NAL to make fuck with. There are people who are more disgusting, have worse hygiene, less money, and worse addictions who have sex all the time. The farms have archived many examples. Cobes is lazy, and incredibly stupid. However, if he put a tiny bit of effort into getting a woman to his trailer he could easily find a broken women who will make a decision she will no doubt regret, for free. There's plenty of disgusting people in the world.

 

[JambledUpWords]

but he could easily find someone more attractive and less gross than NAL to make fuck with.

He could, but only marginally. No attractive and well adjusted woman is going to give him the time of day. Yeah, in theory, Cobes can do a lot better in many areas of his life, but the reality is that he isn’t interested in doing any of that, so he’s going to be stuck with NAL types, or ones similar, until he actually starts taking his own life more seriously. Stephanie was honestly the best he got, but he squandered that too.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I just found a word that sums up our boy's general motion -

Flenerb​

To flail and fail at the same time. It is a full body motion that looks like the person is slipping on ice. A flenerb can occur at any time and to anyone. One can mentally flenerb with no obvious signs of physicality that generally occur.
Ha! That guy just flenerbed hard! He crashed his bike (weather permitting) and hurled that pizza fifty feet!

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Flenerb