Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Shinkai]

He’s not really gonna get fat, because he doesn’t really eat that much. Most of his food hacks end up barely eaten and he’s passed out for much of the day. He eats a lot of fattening food, but as long as his total calories are within norm, he’s gonna be fine.

Your metabolic needs don’t change that much between 20 and 40. Slow metabolism is just copium from fatties in denial. People simply get more sedentary in their 30’s. Ain’t much else to it.

Bro I hit 30 and my ass got fatter real quick with no significant change to diet or routine. But I will agree fatties use it as an excuse.

Edit - ass as in me in general not my actual ass

 

[bonified retard]

 

[Dill]

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I like the classic MS Paint banner

 

[Chieftain Coke Peanut]

Alcoholism truly is one of the worst addictions. It's been close to a decade of Cobes being a goth Rockstar bad boy AKA an alcoholic. Almost a decade of days flying by while he sits in a stupor, not remembering anything. That's a whole lot of life wasted and a lot of teeth rotted out and other health issues. And even if he did want to sober up, alcohol is one of the toughest addictions to kick. You can literally die from going completely cold turkey, so you have to have the mental fortitude to say to yourself "Just this once" and follow through with it. Not to mention the entire time you are trying to get clean you get hit with advertisements for liquor, you get to see friends and family having a great time drinking, and you see it in the grocery stores every time you go to eat.

I've had friends and family fall into alcoholism and it is terrible. I feel bad for Clint. You can't tell me he didn't try harder than pretty much any other parent in Wyoming would have. Alas the boglim is retarded, and refused to do anything about it.

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

There's absolutely no reason to watch his videos now, except for maybe when Cobra uploads 5 part foodhacks out of order.

But part of the fun of watching Cobra is patching together the mystery yourself. It keeps me on the edge of my seat like a Nancy Drew.

 

[Smegward]

He’s not really gonna get fat, because he doesn’t really eat that much. Most of his food hacks end up barely eaten and he’s passed out for much of the day. He eats a lot of fattening food, but as long as his total calories are within norm, he’s gonna be fine.

Your metabolic needs don’t change that much between 20 and 40. Slow metabolism is just copium from fatties in denial. People simply get more sedentary in their 30’s. Ain’t much else to it.

you can see him puff up in real time

 

[Booby Jones]

If I drink even midway to drunk, I'll wake up feeling like shit. Gross mouth feel, ouchie head, all body mechanics feel stiff. What I've always wondered about alcoholics is do they wake up with that x1000 every single day and just deal with it or does it just feel like normal waking up to them? I can't imagine waking up with cobras body for just one day. I need to see a cobra morning routine stream NOW, toobz.

 

[Mnutu]

If I drink even midway to drunk, I'll wake up feeling like shit. Gross mouth feel, ouchie head, all body mechanics feel stiff. What I've always wondered about alcoholics is do they wake up with that x1000 every single day and just deal with it or does it just feel like normal waking up to them? I can't imagine waking up with cobras body for just one day. I need to see a cobra morning routine stream NOW, toobz.

Not an alcoholic, but a nicotine addict: You start out overcoming the drawbacks, then accepting them, then you end up delaying them by continuing to engage in it. Day 3 no smoking is some of the worst shit ever; you’re angry, hungry, have a headache, and you feel tired, sick, stuffed up, and you feel like you can’t breathe because your lungs are weak. You know it goes away after a few drags, so why not keep going on? Besides, it feels good to smoke. Any of the negatives can be reinterpreted from “it’s because I drank last night” to “it’s because I haven’t had my first drink yet”.

 

[Molly Millions]

But part of the fun of watching Cobra is patching together the mystery yourself. It keeps me on the edge of my seat like a Nancy Drew.

This is how I feel about the Puff situation! There are several different ways Puffers could have died and the entire thing is so retarded that its basically a choose your own adventure book.

Did a blackout Josh step on Puff with his troll stompin' boots? Did Puff actually run off into the snowy night? Did Josh poison him with a drink combo?

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

This is how I feel about the Puff situation! There are several different ways Puffers could have died and the entire thing is so retarded that its basically a choose your own adventure book.

Did a blackout Josh step on Puff with his troll stompin' boots? Did Puff actually run off into the snowy night? Did Josh poison him with a drink combo?

If he had killed him any other way Josh would've let it slip by now.

Also Josh is fat but you only really tell when you get a side profile. The camera is usually pointed straight at him and he wears baggy clothes.

 

[niggers]

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your failson is way too drunk and braindead to even begin to wrap his head around the dumb ass comparison you're trying to make

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

This is how I feel about the Puff situation! There are several different ways Puffers could have died and the entire thing is so retarded that its basically a choose your own adventure book.

Did a blackout Josh step on Puff with his troll stompin' boots? Did Puff actually run off into the snowy night? Did Josh poison him with a drink combo?

Personally I'm in the "Puff's Hijrah to the Bearded Dragon Mecca that is the local medical center parking lot" camp. I don't remember anyone debunking the lady or the photo she posted. It's just so crazy that a lost lizard of the same make and model as Puff washes up in the parking lot around the same time that Josh says Puff ran off to find the spirit of Christmas.

 

[Really Normal]

Josh let slip more details about how he lost puff awhile back. He went outside drunk with no shoes on, puff jumped off his shoulder. Instead of running after puff, he went back inside to put on his coat and shoes. Who knows how long that took, as he was wasted as usual. When he got back puff was gone. Also the lizard that was found at the hospital and returned to clint was 100 percent puff. No fucking way two people lost a lizard at the same time.

 

[funscape]

Alcoholism truly is one of the worst addictions. It's been close to a decade of Cobes being a goth Rockstar bad boy AKA an alcoholic. Almost a decade of days flying by while he sits in a stupor, not remembering anything. That's a whole lot of life wasted and a lot of teeth rotted out and other health issues. And even if he did want to sober up, alcohol is one of the toughest addictions to kick. You can literally die from going completely cold turkey, so you have to have the mental fortitude to say to yourself "Just this once" and follow through with it. Not to mention the entire time you are trying to get clean you get hit with advertisements for liquor, you get to see friends and family having a great time drinking, and you see it in the grocery stores every time you go to eat.

I've had friends and family fall into alcoholism and it is terrible. I feel bad for Clint. You can't tell me he didn't try harder than pretty much any other parent in Wyoming would have. Alas the boglim is retarded, and refused to do anything about it.

Josh is the perfect person to be afflicted with alcoholism and I mean that in a bad way. He has several co-occurring conditions which make his case as an addict extremely difficult. He has to change his entire relationship and beliefs regarding alcohol to even begin on the path of recovery. It's basically tied to his identity at this point and leaving it behind would feel like a huge personal loss for him. The other major problems are that we know Cobra suffers from obsessive thought patterns, he obviously has some sort of oral fixation (food, cigarettes, the bottle) and also his autism. His drinking is largely influenced and perpetuated because of these things. All his behaviours and daily habits are maladaptive and unless he addresses these conditions seriously by seeking treatment, there's no chance he will get to sobriety. I don't mean to be an armchair psychologist but Josh is in dire straits and needs to understand that it's not just having a few drinks anymore.

 

[IsaacShraeder]

Personally I'm in the "Puff's Hijrah to the Bearded Dragon Mecca that is the local medical center parking lot" camp. I don't remember anyone debunking the lady or the photo she posted. It's just so crazy that a lost lizard of the same make and model as Puff washes up in the parking lot around the same time that Josh says Puff ran off to find the spirit of Christmas.

According to Cobes, he dispatched Clint to check it out and it turned out to be a female.
But I can just as easily believe that Clint made that up to save puff from having to return to the bog den.

 

[funscape]

If I drink even midway to drunk, I'll wake up feeling like shit. Gross mouth feel, ouchie head, all body mechanics feel stiff. What I've always wondered about alcoholics is do they wake up with that x1000 every single day and just deal with it or does it just feel like normal waking up to them? I can't imagine waking up with cobras body for just one day. I need to see a cobra morning routine stream NOW, toobz.

If you're drinking to the point of blackout drunk everyday and refuse to consume any water. You will 100% always wake up miserably hungover. Also alcoholics develop what's called "hangxiety" which gets progressively worse until you feel like you're dying and can last a few days after drinking. NAL has said Cobra drinks first thing in the morning and I believe her. It's the only way for him to make these things temporarily go away.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Bro I hit 30 and my ass got fatter real quick with no significant change to diet or routine. But I will agree fatties use it as an excuse

Josh will milk that hard, I live a active life and it's still hard to keep the weight off, especially while I've had some down time.

If I drink even midway to drunk, I'll wake up feeling like shit. Gross mouth feel, ouchie head, all body mechanics feel stiff. What I've always wondered about alcoholics is do they wake up with that x1000 every single day and just deal with it or does it just feel like normal waking up to them? I can't imagine waking up with cobras body for just one day. I need to see a cobra morning routine stream NOW, toobz.

From experience yes that's what happens, but your so inured to it becomes a background ache till you get drunk enough to not care. I used to wake up around 9 - 10 am felt like shit shuffle from my bedroom or couch and make a coffee, go for a shit or puke, have the coffee, puke again rinse my mouth out with water, shower get dressed and then fucked off down the pub for a few hours, then onto another pub, then somewhere that sells booze then back home by pint.

By pint 4 or 5 I cared more about the pub bog's being all the way over there and that I'll have to get off my bar stool to go for a piss than the wreck my body was becoming, during that time I broke some bones in my hand and I have no idea to this day how I did it, I likely fell over but the next day my hand had swollen like a balloon went to A&E got it looked at the moment I left I was off out for a few drinks as I'd not had any all day, I'd done other things to myself and honestly just didn't care an apart from those few brief hours I was "sober" or just less drunk to be more accurate I didn't care at all.

The thing is now I'm sober an have been for a long time I'm now healthy and living a much better, happier life, an look at that period of my life with a lot of shame an regret an a portion of that is looking back at how little care I had for myself both physically an mentally. I hope one day Josh is able to look back an say to himself "I was fucking stoopid doot" - I doubt he will ever say that as he's not capable of that kind of introspection but he can at least get sober but it's going to take something drastic for that to happen an he's not there yet.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

This is how I feel about the Puff situation! There are several different ways Puffers could have died and the entire thing is so retarded that its basically a choose your own adventure book.

The old apartment also branched into the I Spy series when you could watch for how long cardboard boxes would sit on the couch, Shon sightings, the Monster ass poster and the amount of dust on the TV stand.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

The old apartment also branched into the I Spy series when you could watch for how long cardboard boxes would sit on the couch, Shon sightings, the Monster ass poster and the amount of dust on the TV stand.

Excitement when a new layer suddenly build up from him lathing some wands with blunt chisels, a new colony of bugs in the chair, etc.

Simpler times.

 

['Ole Dente]

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I mean sure we have cognitive tests designed to determine diagnosis for autism with criteria that's observable and repeatable along with treatment plans that are functional with testimonies from both doctors and patients for almost half a century but....yeah, it's comparable to the efficacy of cutting children's genitals off or chemically castrating them with drugs with give to sex offenders because their parents told them it's okay, sure Clint.

I think that car accident gave him a lot more than money. Go dunk your head in a fucking toilet, Saunders. Your retarded son is actually right for once to the shock of literally everyone.