Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[niggers]

i genuinely think most games are out of his mental depth, unfortuantely. hes mentioned playing gta5, but he never (afaik) actually been seen playing the missions, he just murders women in skimpy clothing then takes pictures of them.

dont.. dont look to hard into that. the point is i think even bethesdas "match the symbols" style of puzzle would be too much for him. not everyone is born knowing how to get the dragonstone from bleak falls barrow, toobs.

 

[CheesyBoy]

the point is i think even bethesdas "match the symbols" style of puzzle would be too much for him.

Animal Crossing's "do basically nothing at your own pace" gameplay would be too much for him, though he would probably enjoy gooning to Isabelle.

 

[Fortyone]

Genuine question: would Josh fuck a lizard woman? An of-age, alive, consenting, human-shaped lizard woman?
View attachment 7178616

Swap the head for a bearded dragon head and he 100% would. His alcohol induced dementia would probably twist his thoughts enough to make him think he was both getting puff back (owning the troles) and having sex (owning the trolls). Every decision in his life now is based on whether or not it owns trolls or gets him drunk, those are his only 2 priorities.

 

[Law]

<takes shot>
<looks like he wants to die and shit himself>
"I love me some Jack Daniel's"

"One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Bethesda's games are only dumbed down to people who aren't alcoholics with room temperature IQ's. Cobes trying to play Skyrim or Fallout 4 for that matter would be like a kindergartener trying to learn astrophysics. He only really plays browser games or sandbox games like GTA where he doesn't even know half the mechanics. There was also that one time where he played Black Ops 2 zombies on the PS3 and only lasted a handful of rounds.

 

[Captain Ahab]

i genuinely think most games are out of his mental depth, unfortuantely. hes mentioned playing gta5, but he never (afaik) actually been seen playing the missions, he just murders women in skimpy clothing then takes pictures of them.

dont.. dont look to hard into that. the point is i think even bethesdas "match the symbols" style of puzzle would be too much for him. not everyone is born knowing how to get the dragonstone from bleak falls barrow, toobs.

Classic

 

[IsaacShraeder]

i genuinely think most games are out of his mental depth, unfortuantely. hes mentioned playing gta5, but he never (afaik) actually been seen playing the missions, he just murders women in skimpy clothing then takes pictures of them.

dont.. dont look to hard into that. the point is i think even bethesdas "match the symbols" style of puzzle would be too much for him. not everyone is born knowing how to get the dragonstone from bleak falls barrow, toobs.

Never mind that, I think he's become too lazy even for video games. Passive consumption of slop of all kinds is all he can do now.

 

[vanta pilled]

19:25 I've never seen someone pour beer on nachos before, but I'm not surprised.

1. He's beer braising the spam trole.
2. Boglim cuisine is so avant-garde and complex that he merely uses the term "nachos" as a crude approximation so that us humans can partially wrap our heads around his culinary creation.

 

[Arv3k]

This is what the KING sees every day:

From a bachelor to a one bedroom to a trailer. Feasts of bacon every day. The BOY cannot stop winning. Troles and sickos always and forever btfo.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

Cobes is a gamer insofar as him saying he's a huge anime fan because he used to watch DBZ on toonami. We all know what he's actually consuming: scooby doo marathons, chaturbate, clocktower youtube videos, and family guy funny moments #251.

That PS3 been gathering dust since the spice era.

hes mentioned playing gta5, but he never (afaik) actually been seen playing the missions, he just murders women in skimpy clothing then takes pictures of them.

I recall he made a video complaining about people killing him in GTA online and that he had to actually work to get in-game housing (lol)

 

[GameratePTSD]

I would literally kill (fuck sickos) to see cones do a let's play of skyrim, like 50 parts long BOY you know you want to

I'd love to see him play something like The Sims and make a little sim version of himself who has guitar level 10 and lives in a clocktower dream house.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I'd love to see him play something like The Sims and make a little sim version of himself who has guitar level 10 and lives in a clocktower dream house.

Shit dood, I'd love to see him with unlimited money, everything unlocked, and just let him build a little clocktower dream mansion. I wanna see his creative choices.

 

[ASeabear8952]

i think it would be dank to send him a gothic chalice made from cyraxx skull when the goblin dies

>implying that Cyrax is gonna die first

 

[Earl of Slander]

>implying that Cyrax is gonna die first

I don't know. Raxx's foot is looking pretty rough. They're unwittingly racing each other to the grave.

Shit, wait. We all know Cyraxx isn't going to be winning any races lol. Nevermind, you're right.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I for one want to watch Josh play Rhythm Heaven. Imagine the frustration of a man with 18 albums realizing he has no sense of timing. And it's a Wii game too, so it's perfect for his eventual spergout.

 

[CheesyBoy]

I for one want to watch Josh play Rhythm Heaven. Imagine the frustration of a man with 18 albums realizing he has no sense of timing. And it's a Wii game too, so it's perfect for his eventual spergout.

Why not Guitar Hero/Rock Band instead?

 

[Mahavitchnu Orchestra]

He should try playing "Nigger Lipped Retard Hero." He'd find the princess in the castle in no time.

 

[Epikusername4]

He should try playing "Nigger Lipped Retard Hero." He'd find the princess in the castle in no time.

um there carp lips how could you be so callous trole

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

That PS3 been gathering dust since the spice era.

I would be shocked if he could play even the most basic of video games at this point. His motor skills have deteriorated extremely bad. Every video he is twitching and swaying like he is on a moving boat. He has no dexterity and his hands just sort of float in front of him, his left hand has a mind of its own, and he can barely manipulate the lid of the baconup container. Josh will not be doing any letsplays anytime soon "in the near distant future".

 

[Your Landlord]

This would be the funniest option in my opinion: