Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I'd figure the boy's rampant smoking would have fried his taste buds long before his alcoholism.

He was baby bitch boy drinking for the longest time till he finally fell off the deep end and started guzzling like a man, but he was also smoking HARD and DIRTY the entire time.

You know goddamn well he doesn't own let alone use any pipe cleaners or ream out his pipes or salt & rum/everclear de ghost them, for fuck's sake he smokes sniped butts out of them (and cigarette tobacco out of a pipe is fucking wild and gross, even when it's clean shag). That's on top of all the constant packs of actual cigs, random cigars and whatever else he's smoking, he's gotta have permanent pipe tongue going on is what I'm getting at.

He actually reminds me of an elderly pipe smoker I knew back when I got into it, dude was a drunk and a massive racist/sexist/anything'ist, and had about 3 teeth in his head, and would just sit around and drink Coors and chain smoke the biggest filthiest pipe full of straight burley 24x7.

He looked like he was ailing health 80s but he was like late 50s early 60s? Super funny guy who'd say wild ass shit and was redpilled before it was even trending online as a meme, but that pipe was absolutely filthy: he'd only clean it when it got too wet to smoke. I'd imagine Cobes is about the same when it comes to smoker hygiene.

The reason I bring that all up, is that dude couldn't taste fucking anything, and would grind pepper onto every and everything he ate (also huge globs of butter now that I think about it so that's another similarity), just comical pyramids of it. I kind of hope that if the Dark Lord can't clean up, he at least follows a similar path and ends up a weird hilarious old man.
 
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>Implying Jorp has any sense of beauty or wonder
The only beauty and wonder Cobra has to care about is the beauty of his food hacks and wondering how he's going to get his bank account out of the red, trole.

Sorry to bring us into another autistic loop. But our boy is looking chunky! He's fat! That gothic metabolism is slowing down
Oh so women can be big and beautiful, but men can't? Get buhlocked trole! See that's the problem with double standards toobs! (clinks glass).
I HATE double standards YOUTOOB, WOMEN are 'big' but men are 'FAT', this is what's wrong with society. Fuck sickos, but the only thing worse than a sicko is a hypocrite.
 
The only beauty and wonder Cobra has to care about is the beauty of his food hacks and wondering how he's going to get his bank account out of the red, trole.



I HATE double standards YOUTOOB, WOMEN are 'big' but men are 'FAT', this is what's wrong with society. Fuck sickos, but the only thing worse than a sicko is a hypocrite.
I remember people were saying he was packing on pounds/ looking bloated a few months ago,when he wasn’t nearly as bad as he is now. Even a year or so ago they were saying the same thing. They were saying thing since 2023 and that wasn’t even that bad in comparison to where he is at now.
He looks like that edit if him with a face app fat filter over NAL’s sweatpants. Can’t find the image though.
 
Honestly for how bad he lives, he could look a lot worse. He's obviously no shining beacon of male vitality at this point, but I don't think he's quite 100% done for just yet (barring a sudden catastrophic wild card of oral infection/pulmonary aspiration taking him out).

He's obviously bloating from the shitty salty diet and booze, but he doesn't quite yet have that pregnant look you get from ascites. When he starts looking like a potato with toothpick limbs, then it's really bad, and yeah with how he's bulked up it could be starting, but I'd argue you'd need lab work to really know either way, at this point at least. (Granted, lab work would probably be a LOLWUT shit show even if he wasn't actively dying).

The feet are hard to tell when it comes to the beetus, since it could just be random filth, you know the boy probably hasn't vacuumed since he moved into the trailer.
 
I see you point and I counter. Just from my experience I would rather eat goyslop like he does than eat that. Only reason I day that is because of your eyes. I understand I need something for satiation, and if my taste buds are scorched, even when I can't taste, I'd go for the goyslop, a steak, sushi, anything other than rice cakes. You can see that what you are ingesting should taste amazing, even if you have no taste, and ultimately you're let down, but you know from previous experience that that did and would have tasted better than rice cakes. I've eaten rice cakes before for reasons, I had taste buds then, but even now I'd much rather eat something that looks amazing like a burger or a steak than eat a rice cakes or other shit that you know is tasteless. Again, just the way I look at it, as I'm somewhat in his boat with the addiction. Unless I'm reading your post wrong, which please clarify. And I'm not being a dick, I'm just not in the best state atm.
Also another counter argument to this is that if this was the case a simple burger or burrito could satisfy however he has a deeply seated obsession with putting more things on other things. If it was about how things looked his food hacks wouldn’t look thu way they do. He’s not just physically tasteless, he’s literally tasteless.
 
Also another counter argument to this is that if this was the case a simple burger or burrito could satisfy however he has a deeply seated obsession with putting more things on other things. If it was about how things looked his food hacks wouldn’t look thu way they do. He’s not just physically tasteless, he’s literally tasteless.
Staaahhppp. I already acknowledged your brain is larger than mine!
 
you know what those rotten stumps need on them? they need one medium oreo brownie frosty with vanilla ice cream fusion frosty delivered

Screen Shot 2025-05-25 at 14.32.00.webp
 
Honestly for how bad he lives, he could look a lot worse. He's obviously no shining beacon of male vitality at this point, but I don't think he's quite 100% done for just yet (barring a sudden catastrophic wild card of oral infection/pulmonary aspiration taking him out).

He's obviously bloating from the shitty salty diet and booze, but he doesn't quite yet have that pregnant look you get from ascites. When he starts looking like a potato with toothpick limbs, then it's really bad, and yeah with how he's bulked up it could be starting, but I'd argue you'd need lab work to really know either way, at this point at least. (Granted, lab work would probably be a LOLWUT shit show even if he wasn't actively dying).

The feet are hard to tell when it comes to the beetus, since it could just be random filth, you know the boy probably hasn't vacuumed since he moved into the trailer.
Is Clint even aware of this? I can't imagine a father looking at his addled pile of a son and act like it's okay. How Client hasn't disowned his ass and just lets him go is beyond me.
If he made the right choice by making other kids with a woman with healthy ovaries, then he should better invest all his time and resources into his daughter instead.
 
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It's gotten to the point these gendur relayshuns rants are just an hour of him drunkenly reciting cringy Terrance Poop catchphrases like "WEEHH!!!", "BUUUUT!!!", "SHOCKER, WANNA SNIFF IT!?!" and chuckling over and over. It's completely incomprehensible nonsense, just to piss off his liberal dad.
Let us not forget about the absolutely essential ''joke'' about the morbidly obese, bald, greasy, stinky, 40+ guy, digging cheeto dust out of his belly button who gets rejected while trying to invite young ladies to his mothers basement. This joke is very important and needs to be used at least once, but preferably 2-4 times in any ''gundur rilashuns rant''!

Is Clint even aware of this? I can't imagine a father looking at his addled pile of a son and act like it's okay. How Client hasn't disowned his ass and just lets him go is beyond me.
He knows, but since he decided to allow Josh to be legally considered a competent adult and capable of independently caring for himself (long before the alcoholism and duster), as long as the government keeps the dole coming and Clint helps Josh with his taxes when necessary any other problems are not something Clint has to deal with.
With the medical history Josh has of recognized mental deficiencies Clint could absolutely work through the system with APS and have Josh involuntarily committed as a vulnerable adult that is unable to care for himself, especially with the alcoholism and terrible state of his teeth.
 
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He knows, but since he decided to allow Josh to be legally considered a competent adult and capable of independently caring for himself (long before the alcoholism and duster), as long as the government keeps the dole coming and Clint helps Josh with his taxes when necessary any other problems are not something Clint has to deal with.
With the medical history Josh has of recognized mental deficiencies Clint could absolutely work through the system with APS and have Josh involuntarily committed as a vulnerable adult that is unable to care for himself, especially with the alcoholism and terrible state of his teeth.
Now that you mention it, it seems like Clint is only sticking around for the benefits, like Sally with Chance.
 
With the medical history Josh has of recognized mental deficiencies Clint could absolutely work through the system with APS and have Josh involuntarily committed as a vulnerable adult that is unable to care for himself, especially with the alcoholism and terrible state of his teeth.
I thought APS just does that on its own, regardless of what said vulnerable adult's parents want?

My slow methhead neighbor, who lived on his parent's property but was otherwise an independent adult with a job (note: methheads are surprisingly good at holding down jobs....since it pays for meth) had APS show up one day & involuntarily commit his meth'ed up retard ass after he kept driving high/drunk into ditches & running around in public half naked screaming about *checks notes* "them nigg..." well, you get the idea.

His mom was furious APS intervened, and was like "the state kidnapped my boy" and actually hired lawyers/called political favors/wrote in church bulletins/did fucking everything to try to get her dumb violent meth son uncommitted (mind you, the other option was JAIL). I think he eventually got released months later, heavily medicated/monitored/I heard he's now legally unable to own weapons or computers. His family is unhinged white supremacist trash so I never cared enough to get the full story, lest they shoot me for being an injun.
 
With the medical history Josh has of recognized mental deficiencies Clint could absolutely work through the system with APS and have Josh involuntarily committed as a vulnerable adult that is unable to care for himself, especially with the alcoholism and terrible state of his teeth.

Are you suggesting that Clint could put Cobes in a group home? Not sure we have discussed that before but it is an interesting idea
 
I thought APS just does that on its own, regardless of what said vulnerable adult's parents want?

My slow methhead neighbor, who lived on his parent's property but was otherwise an independent adult with a job (note: methheads are surprisingly good at holding down jobs....since it pays for meth) had APS show up one day & involuntarily commit his meth'ed up retard ass after he kept driving high/drunk into ditches & running around in public half naked screaming about *checks notes* "them nigg..." well, you get the idea.

His mom was furious APS intervened, and was like "the state kidnapped my boy" and actually hired lawyers/called political favors/wrote in church bulletins/did fucking everything to try to get her dumb violent meth son uncommitted (mind you, the other option was JAIL). I think he eventually got released months later, heavily medicated/monitored/I heard he's now legally unable to own weapons or computers. His family is unhinged white supremacist trash so I never cared enough to get the full story, lest they shoot me for being an injun.
APS can act on their own yes, but that requires a lot of actions on the person being committed to draw the states ire and/or attention like the series of crimes you mentioned or at least one extreme act putting pressure on them to act.

In the case of Josh specifically he has a bunch of mental issues diagnosed and entered into the medical system so someone like a parent can bring that to their attention and push for him to receive evaluation and treatment when the living situation of such a person degrades. Of course it can be done for a normal person by friends and parents as well if they suddenly fail to care for themselves but if there are no diagnosed issues or history of crime/mental illness it is often almost impossible for them to take any action.

If Clint went the route of also proving that he is unable to care for himself (which he is) by highlighting his issues with alcohol, personal hygiene, teeth, how he eats moldy brown gravy, etc. he could absolutely get Josh committed at least temporarily and I doubt Josh would ever be considered a competent adult again after just a day or two under medical supervision.

Are you suggesting that Clint could put Cobes in a group home? Not sure we have discussed that before but it is an interesting idea
Lol, lmao even.
 
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