Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

He’s very self conscious when he can’t do things perfectionally.

When you’re the reincarnation of Beethoven perfectionism is a need, not a want.

 

[Hennimore]

Highly recommend you all watch "Part 4" of his newest foodhack. The rest of it is whatever but in Part 4 he shows of the very clearly burnt to a crisp slice of spam and bacon that he cooked for the food hack and boy does he take it badly. He sits for five minutes calling himself useless while flipping the bacon pieces around in the bowl.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

You'd think that something easier to break apart into manageable chunks would be better for his rotten-tooth-having-ass.

 

[DocHoliday]

View attachment 7591953 Highly recommend you all watch "Part 4" of his newest foodhack. The rest of it is whatever but in Part 4 he shows of the very clearly burnt to a crisp slice of spam and bacon that he cooked for the food hack and boy does he take it badly. He sits for five minutes calling himself useless while flipping the bacon pieces around in the bowl.

Bless his heart, KingPityPartyJFS is doing his best.

 

[Thesumof41is5]

Sometimes the memes write themselves..

He’s really performatively spiraling about overcooking that bacon that he still ate

 

[RollingRock2]

No fucking way...
View attachment 7590645

Good thing it's not grape soda or they'd attract more "others" to the bathroom rap sessions

 

[Judy's Baked Apple Pies]

Sometimes the memes write themselves..
View attachment 7592163View attachment 7592164
He’s really performatively spiraling about overcooking that bacon that he still ate

"Fried Bacon smells like fresh summer rain" that's a new one I've never heard. Only our boy could come up with such inspirational quotes. Never change, boy.

 

[crunchy bits are the best]

"....like a fresh summer rain."

Sodium-rich foods and girly alcoholic drinks are this guy's only reason for existing. I almost thought it would be the end of the world when he considered eating salad but after knowing what the ingredients are (roast beef, ranch and tons of salty shit)......life continued.

How many months he has to eat salty slop before his kidneys decide to give up?

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Cobes will keep on rockn’ , bud!

All seriousness, he will continue eating like shit and living this horrible existence with no care for his health for decades. Some guy the exact age who is a contributing member of society, with two kids and a wife, careful about his health, and he will drop dead in the gym from a heart defect.

All the while Cobes houses bacon, butter, spam, and booze and will live on with the other roaches.

 

[JeffreyMaxwell]

It's from smoking inside. Even if you are perfectly clean with the large chunks of ash, there are tiny bits of ash that fly everywhere and accumulate very quickly.
Plus I doubt he's ever mopped.

Just needs mopped

 

[Pink Hotel On The Corner]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/W9BXJvpUWLM

Wake up babe, new drink combo just dropped.

'Electric Crow' = Old Crow Whiskey (I've never heard of it, is it some cheap nasty whiskey?) and Mtn Dew Voltage.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

'Electric Crow' = Old Crow Whiskey (I've never heard of it, is it some cheap nasty whiskey?) and Mtn Dew Voltage.

It's a bottom shelf version of Jim Beam, so yeah.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

e sits for five minutes calling himself useless while flipping the bacon pieces around in the bowl.

This is interesting. Last time he cooked bacon for those burgers he ate with warlord, the bacon was also extremely burned. They both ate it no problem. However, trolls texted him a barrage of insults about him and his gay boyfriend sasha eating burned bacon, and "he's so retarded he can't even cook bacon".

It's like without his phone, he cannot cope by yelling at siri and respond to the troll texts. But he knows the trolls are going to comment on his burned bacon, so he's having an "anxiety attack" and responding to hate messages he will never get. He does not give a fuck about burned bacon, when has he ever not ate bacon that was not charcoal. He knows the trolls are going to be thinking that he's a "loser and a fuck up and a fat alcholic retard" "who can't even cook bacon and everyone is gonna laugh at you" but he has no direct way of coping with it. This is kind of funny.

 

[Raxxo's Bedbugs]

Good luck on getting addicts to add in oxygen to whatever they huff so they don't go hypoxic from huffing it every 5 seconds like crackets.


I'm glad that the spray paint theory has gained a lot more attention these last couple years. I'll once again tap the sign but people really underestimate the damage that chronic VOC exposure does.

Trailer Of Filth. TMDWU.

I'm actually irate "trailer of filth" was RIGHT there. Glad one of us picked that up lmao

 

[Judy's Baked Apple Pies]

This is interesting. Last time he cooked bacon for those burgers he ate with warlord, the bacon was also extremely burned. They both ate it no problem. However, trolls texted him a barrage of insults about him and his gay boyfriend sasha eating burned bacon, and "he's so retarded he can't even cook bacon".

It's like without his phone, he cannot cope by yelling at siri and respond to the troll texts. But he knows the trolls are going to comment on his burned bacon, so he's having an "anxiety attack" and responding to hate messages he will never get. He does not give a fuck about burned bacon, when has he ever not ate bacon that was not charcoal. He knows the trolls are going to be thinking that he's a "loser and a fuck up and a fat alcholic retard" "who can't even cook bacon and everyone is gonna laugh at you" but he has no direct way of coping with it. This is kind of funny.

My man's going through withdrawal and can't hate on them troles, F in the chat

 

[Raxxo's Bedbugs]

"Fried Bacon smells like fresh summer rain" that's a new one I've never heard. Only our boy could come up with such inspirational quotes. Never change, boy.

God damn I hate this site sometimes; When I remember this is just a kooky gathering of retards laughs are going to be had. Trying to actually cope with some RL shit and you idiots never cease to make me smile. "Price of Progress" and whatever other quips; Never change.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

New customized girl shirt.. better not be disrespecting the Constitution using fucking AI, boi..
View attachment 7590633
Also.. how’s he holding that beer and gun at the same time?
View attachment 7590675

WEGE THE BEETLE. TWU toobz.

View attachment 7591953 Highly recommend you all watch "Part 4" of his newest foodhack. The rest of it is whatever but in Part 4 he shows of the very clearly burnt to a crisp slice of spam and bacon that he cooked for the food hack and boy does he take it badly. He sits for five minutes calling himself useless while flipping the bacon pieces around in the bowl.

This is interesting. Last time he cooked bacon for those burgers he ate with warlord, the bacon was also extremely burned. They both ate it no problem. However, trolls texted him a barrage of insults about him and his gay boyfriend sasha eating burned bacon, and "he's so retarded he can't even cook bacon".

It's like without his phone, he cannot cope by yelling at siri and respond to the troll texts. But he knows the trolls are going to comment on his burned bacon, so he's having an "anxiety attack" and responding to hate messages he will never get. He does not give a fuck about burned bacon, when has he ever not ate bacon that was not charcoal. He knows the trolls are going to be thinking that he's a "loser and a fuck up and a fat alcholic retard" "who can't even cook bacon and everyone is gonna laugh at you" but he has no direct way of coping with it. This is kind of funny.

Bringing food hack parts in front of the computer because the phone is broken? Absolute cobra kino doodt. Also deliciously ironic that he's internalized all the classic trole chides so even when comments are buh-lawked the boy resorts to trolling himself.

 

[Angry Shoes]

The drink, drugs and spray paint have obviously taken their toll. But his atrocious diet, not drinking water and having little to no human contact and being a shut in haven't helped either.

He really is a poster child for what not to do to your brain.

 

[NoosJunki]

He really is a poster child for what not to do to your brain.

If he's Goofus, then who's Gallant? Papa Nips?

 

[Judy's Baked Apple Pies]

Bringing food hack parts in front of the computer because the phone is broken? Absolute cobra kino doodt. Also deliciously ironic that he's internalized all the classic trole chides so even when comments are buh-lawked the boy resorts to trolling himself.

You know damn well he's got crumbs all over the damn floor in his "YouTube Studio" from those god damn food hacks and he's probably spilled a ton of booze in there too. He rages whenever he spills anything on the floor in his trailer because he wants to keep the place clean but I highly doubt the place is in any kind of pristine condition. I fear of what his bathroom looks like, that toilet has seen some horrors.