Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[barrow greeter]

Imagine Warlord trying to go take a shit in a woman's restroom, see how quickly he gets curbstomped by actual women in there.

 

[Candover]

Hah! You just totally reminded me that he's indeed banned from the Albertson's.

If he's going to Door Dash an Albertson's pre-made sandwich that's marked up, I just can't understand why he won't just assemble one himself with the same deli ingredients that would last 5 sandwiches.

Then again, I am also reminded of his financial understanding of Boglinomics.

The boy yearns for that motz, that proshootz, a real Sangweech. . but settles for the sad-wich instead.

Josh doesn't understand the concept of portioning food. He thinks you need to add every ingredient you bought into a giant mound of slop that you slowly eat from over the course of a week. This is why he falls into the regarded idea that "groceries are more expensive than fast food", because he makes $60 slop meals with all the groceries at once.

 

[Acoustic Virgin]

Those are not grimaces of ecstasy. The cold cuts probably hurt his teeth.

Oh, I see. I thought that his closed eyes were an expression of bliss, but that may just be part of his evolution into a WWII propaganda cartoon.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

I just can't understand why he won't just assemble one himself with the same deli ingredients that would last 5 sandwiches.
Then again, I am also reminded of his financial understanding of Boglinomics.

Those 5 sandwiches worth of ingredients would be towered onto one sloppy pile of a single sandwich and left to "cool off" for 24 hours before he starts eating it over the course of several days. Just is what it is toobz. Also did anyone else catch that he "has to de-thaw his red onions" which would explain to me why they're so gray, slimy, and soggy when he piles them on.

 

[Candover]

Oh, I see. I thought that his closed eyes were an expression of bliss, but that may just be part of his evolution into a WWII propaganda cartoon.

Cobra would fit right in.

"I used my dark demon cobra powers to destroy Pearl Harbor dood. Hahaaa yessssth."

"Hirohito's grandchildren gross me out sexually."

 

[GobBluth]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

 

[barrow greeter]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

don't recall precisely but pretty sure it was alcohol related

anyway that munch, that crunch

 

[Fortyone]

don't recall precisely but pretty sure it was alcohol related

anyway that munch, that crunch

View attachment 7674845

His facial hair is a fucking crime against humanity

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Food Review 7-21-25

https://youtu.be/CULfgI4dNbg?si=8-Xm794XYLoJQEUo

All the meats.
All the cheeses.
All the mayo packets.
All the mustard packets.
All the tooth aches.

Unfortunately, not from a fancy Italian deli, just the local discount grocery store, toobz. Shoutout to Albertson's in Casper, Wyoming, but not a sponsor.

The boy is trying to save up you know? He's still got to get that replacement phone, and still has to ship out that Etsy wand. Postage is expensive, doodt.

This particular super sub has all the meats, all the cheeses, all the sauce packets and none of the tips for the Doordasher.

 

[Giant Machine]

don't recall precisely but pretty sure it was alcohol related

anyway that munch, that crunch

View attachment 7674845

Was that food slipping out of the sandwich or was it a tooth abscess that popped like a zit?

 

[dubiousroach]

Was that food slipping out of the sandwich or was it a tooth abscess that popped like a zit?

What a day to be literate...

 

[Pat Smear]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

I'm pretty sure he went into there liquor department drunk or at least smelling like booze from the night before, was refused service and argued with them a bit then would write an angry Facebook post when he returned home, he was banned after A-Logs called them up.

 

[Detective Carey]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

The Your Favorite Son documentary covers it from 01:02:45 to 01:08:05, TL;DR he got trespassed for being drunk in public, but blames it on trolls.

I've always assumed this clip from a few years before may be the same incident, but who really knows. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a few trespasses from various joints, IIRC a few of his local bars have him 86'd too.

Edit: he does mention Albertson's at the end of the song, lol maybe this is the actual aftermath.

 

[An automatic clown]

Was that food slipping out of the sandwich or was it a tooth abscess that popped like a zit?

Some questions shouldn't be asked nor answered.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I'm pretty sure he went into there liquor department drunk or at least smelling like booze from the night before, was refused service and argued with them a bit then would write an angry Facebook post when he returned home, he was banned after A-Logs called them up.

The troles also raided the CY street Albertson's Google reviews.

 

[SeizureRobot5000]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

At one point the boy stank so bad of alcohol that they 86'd him. What's weird to me is that per the YFS doc, they didn't just refuse to sell him alcohol, they outright banned him... can't help but wonder if he threw a major tantrum. His extra little comment about how he was a gothic gentleman that never resorted to name calling (despite having just called the cashier a bitch) is also a little suspicious.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

At one point the boy stank so bad of alcohol that they 86'd him. What's weird to me is that per the YFS doc, they didn't just refuse to sell him alcohol, they outright banned him... can't help but wonder if he threw a major tantrum. His extra little comment about how he was a gothic gentleman that never resorted to name calling (despite having just called the cashier a bitch) is also a little suspicious.

Whatever that cashier said to the BOY must have given him Clint PTSD and caused an autistic meltdown. "I'll show you smelling like liquor! You sound like one of my Youtube troles!".

 

[chimpSculpture]

Why is he banned from Albertson's?

He made a video (at what I think is LN's parent's place?) talking about it just after it happened, he apparently didn't know he was banned until the YFS doc and just thought he was told to leave, I believe this Albertson's was fairly far away from his apartment at the time so he didn't go there often. But he does say he's always in there buying liqour.

I've always assumed this clip from a few years before may be the same incident, but who really knows.

From the video's upload date we can assume he's been banned from Albertson's since July 2nd 2022. I think it's worth noticing that he exhales angrily at 3:47 when he specifically gets to the part of the story where "that woman" refuses servicing him.

You can even hear other people in the room as he's telling this story. They even ask him to do something as he's recording. So they're listening to this bum angrily rant that he's just been banned from a store's liquor counter, even though he's one of their best customers lol.

 

[Pink Hotel On The Corner]

a few of his local bars have him 86'd too.

I don't know WY, liquor laws. But I imagine they ban him because if you're caught serving alcohol to intoxicated people you're fined to the tens of thousands. So it's easier to ban a person who spends $10's of dollars there.

 

[Detective Carey]

I'd imagine if you were well behaved and vaguely well groomed, you'd get pulled aside and talked to about shaping up if you were a little too sloppy in a bar. If he's getting 86'd it means he's already pants falling down drunk, reeks of booze before you can get a good look at him, and I'm sure his trolls calling doesn't help either.

Like I'd argue a "normal" lush would get second chances, as they're a reliable source of income after all. Jorp has all sorts of extra hard mode shit working against him (all varying degrees of his choice): he looks like a vietnam war era hobo, he smells like one too, he's rambling into his phone to a youtube live stream which makes weens call in and start shit to be part of the show. He doesn't seem to be a big tipper, or a tipper at all depending on the service.

I also wonder how much his whole "knives are badass" ethos plays into that. I love Cobes but if I didn't know him from Adam and he started getting all pissy and yelling about trolls (who are also spamming my business phone all to hell) and he's dripping with knives he probably plays with to show off how cool he is? Yeah I'd want him out too, even if they're shitty gas station chinesium.

Like yeah we know he's harmless, but I don't blame local businesses for not wanting anything to do with him. Which sucks, because the dark lord out in public is the funniest shit he's ever produced.