Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[bonified retard]

I don't understand why he can't just buy bread, meat, cheese, mayonnaise, etc and construct his own sandwiches if he's just gonna order from the grocery store anyways. If he learned to portion shit instead of using all the lunch meat for a food hack he could easily get by on it for a week.

It's almost like he's wildly retarded or something.

Must be really really hurting for money right now if he's buying these

These were $24.99 each, and that's before doordash fees!

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Who actually drinks Everclear? I had it once in my life when I was teen, and it was mixed with Mt. Dew Livewire, and it was the most vile thing ever. Even the 150 proof version is God awful, like no one can actually enjoy drinking that swill. It must be his emergency stash for when he has absolutely no other booze.

It's not really something you use as a mixer, it's just pure ethanol. Best use for it is for extracting flavors from botanicals/herbs to make things like limoncello or herbal liqueurs. Also can be used to set things on fire or as an antiseptic.

If you dilute it 50-50 with distilled water you get a roughly 100 proof vodka. 60% water if you want 80 proof.

 

[Coin flip]

Boy's out here buying sandwich platters from Albertson's. Must be really really hurting for money right now if he's buying these instead of the usual dank ass subs with a million things on them from Jersey Mike's or whatever local bodega he can Dash from. I don't understand why he can't just buy bread, meat, cheese, mayonnaise, etc and construct his own sandwiches if he's just gonna order from the grocery store anyways. If he learned to portion shit instead of using all the lunch meat for a food hack he could easily get by on it for a week.

You really expect him to cook his own food while he's grieving?

 

[DatBepisTho]

You really expect him to cook his own food while he's grieving?

Better not be doordashing your own grief feasts, BOY!

 

[lebean]

It's almost like he's wildly retarded or something.


These were $24.99 each, and that's before doordash fees!
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At least this is somewhat more economic than his ~$20 singular hotdog from Hamburger Stand.



Extra chili, extra cheese, extra onions, delivery fee, $1 tip, -- yeah, boy was in tears how hungry he still was after chowing down that appledog.

This $25 bucket of Albertson's sandwiches should de-thaw nicely for a few days, toobz. TWU.

 

[Youtube Celery]

Saturated is one of the better cowtubers imo, out of all them I think Kiwi and Smokey are the best ones and Rouge, Internet Man is pretty underrated also. I'll occasionally watch Turkey Twink if he covers someone who hasn't really been touched on but that's as far as decent kiwituber content goes.

MrBeefy is the worst imo, bottom of the barrel slop.

Kiwi and Smokey are gay poop touchers and should be shunned.

 

[Merlin Manson]

I don't understand why he can't just buy bread, meat, cheese, mayonnaise, etc and construct his own sandwiches if he's just gonna order from the grocery store anyways. If he learned to portion shit instead of using all the lunch meat for a food hack he could easily get by on it for a week.

Have you ever woken up at 2pm hungover with a burnt out throat from chain smoking the night before?

You know you should cook something but the chances are you get the quickest, biggest, nastiest fast food you can find and shove it down before going back to sleep.

Now replay that scenario every day, sometimes several times a day.

In addition, Josh has displayed some rather severe impulsive behaviors. A meal can range from 15-60 minutes depending on the complexity and quantity made (think meal prep).

I enjoy cooking, and a big part of it is NOT eating the shit you’re cooking or the ingredients you have during the process.

I believe this is incredibly hard for Josh as well.

In summary, I believe he has the wherewithal to make 10 sandwiches, cut them in half, individually bag them and freeze/ put them in the fridge etc. The problem is that it requires planning, precious drinking/wanking time and worst of all - rules.

Better not eat your ingredients before you make your meal, BOY!

But yeah if I was drunk every day my food would look as bad if not worse than Cobras.

A fair point nonetheless. His finances must be insane.

 

[gogeta77]

These actually look good. But then again I will eat anything

 

[Epikusername4]

It's almost like he's wildly retarded or something.


These were $24.99 each, and that's before doordash fees!
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avent grande fliming

 

[Tiggy Skibbles]

It's not really something you use as a mixer, it's just pure ethanol. Best use for it is for extracting flavors from botanicals/herbs to make things like limoncello or herbal liqueurs. Also can be used to set things on fire or as an antiseptic.

If you dilute it 50-50 with distilled water you get a roughly 100 proof vodka. 60% water if you want 80 proof.

Put that 50-50 mix in a spray bottle and you can spritz the ballerina costumes at the Paris opera house to keep them smelling fresh and free of bacteria.

edit-im not kidding. Shitty, cheap vodka is perhaps the best cleaning solvent. Unless you're a horse.

 

[HiveDull]

Boy's out here buying sandwich platters from Albertson's.

This isn't the first time he's bought the sandwich platters from Albertson's. IIRC he was face-first into the sandwich/party platters from Albertson's during the 'rona. I can't remember if he was really into them beforehand, but I would believe it.
There's a picture out there, but I can't find it now of Cobes hanging out in front of a store with a bag filled with the pre-made sandwiches. He also had a hissy fit of one sandwich not having lettuce.

Also, all kiwitubers are faggots. I get my lolcow content straight from the source. Sifting through 2 hours of "gendur relatshuns" to see Cobra do a vocal cover of Backstreet Boys with snot hanging out of his nose is worth it. You have to endure the lows to get to the high points in life, toobz.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

You really expect him to cook his own food while he's grieving?

It's only been four years since he let Puff freeze to death while drunk lost Puff and five months since Ozzy died. Give the boy some space guys!

You just know he leaves them out on the counter to warm up in the Casper heat. Boglim gut bacteria are probably the best probiotic known to man at this point.

Either that or he has perpetual diarrhea 24/7. That toilet must be suffering as hard as Jack Scalfani's at this point.

 

[Troo and Honest]

Who actually drinks Everclear?

Much like Malört, it mostly exists as a gag. Sure, you can technically use either as a mixer to make them more palatable, but why would you? Just use vodka and you can follow standard measurements. Everclear is over twice the ABV of most Vodkas you’ll have on hand.

Malört exists as a bitter, fuckawful gag drink. Everclear exists as a high proof, rocket fuel, fuckawful gag drink. There’s better options to both if you ever want to use them as mixers.

 

['Ole Dente]

Saturated is one of the better cowtubers imo, out of all them I think Kiwi and Smokey are the best ones and Rouge, Internet Man is pretty underrated also. I'll occasionally watch Turkey Twink if he covers someone who hasn't really been touched on but that's as far as decent kiwituber content goes.

MrBeefy is the worst imo, bottom of the barrel slop.

You gotta be a real man and trawl through archives for 39 hours like the rest of us.

 

[Umaibae]

I don't understand why he can't just buy bread, meat, cheese, mayonnaise, etc and construct his own sandwiches if he's just gonna order from the grocery store anyways. If he learned to portion shit instead of using all the lunch meat for a food hack he could easily get by on it for a week.

My best guesses are laziness, the taste, a lack of planning, or a lack of understanding of cost-effectiveness.

Boglim’s Razor, guys. Boglim’s razor.

Also, he has ZERO concept of money. $10, $100 or $1000 all feel the same to him. Numbers are just placeholders, Toobz.

 

[Potion_Time]

Also, he has ZERO concept of money. $10, $100 or $1000 all feel the same to him. Numbers are just placeholders, Toobz.

This, he doesn't understand numbers. He understands positive and negative. When the accounts in the negative he can't use it, when the account is in the positive his funds are unlimited and he can use it on anything and everything until its back in the negative.

 

[lebean]

Damn. The boy still hasn't gotten back onto Cameo after a month.



I know his income wasn't even much from $5 cameos but I feel like it somewhat kept his prefrontal cortex working, and an extra $150/month to buy some nonsense.

Completing cameos is actually one of the most productive things I've seen Cobra do in modern times. He always talks about getting them done. Even if it's a 24 hour mandate, it gave him Boglim work ethic post-Wendys.

Didn't someone say a fan dropped him off an iPhone? Jorb that lazy to activate it? Or does he think it's another confetti loaded Pringles Douche?

He's always scraping by, this we know; however, something dumb like cameos -- especially when Ozzy past, could have done some cognitive good for him and pocket some pipe tobacco at least.

 

[Potion_Time]

Damn. The boy still hasn't gotten back onto Cameo after a month.

View attachment 7705712

I know his income wasn't even much from $5 cameos but I feel like it somewhat kept his prefrontal cortex working, and an extra $150/month to buy some nonsense.

Didn't someone say a fan dropped him off an iPhone? Jorb that lazy to activate it? Or does he think it's another confetti loaded Pringles Douche?

He's always scraping by, this we know; however, something dumb like cameos -- especially when Ozzy past, could have done some cognitive good for him and pocket some pipe tobacco at least.

I doubt he gets many cameos that his pride will allow him to engage with. Why do you think DTTS went awaay? Because the boy couldn't even handle letting people insult him when they were paying him for the privilege.

 

[lebean]

I doubt he gets many cameos that his pride will allow him to engage with. Why do you think DTTS went awaay? Because the boy couldn't even handle letting people insult him when they were paying him for the privilege.

Agreed; oddly enough though, he would still complete the trolling ones for the measly $5, as perhaps he saw it as easy money and an opportunity to rage back at a hater. It's entertaining, and it's good Cobra can vent and retort via a blurry Cameo back at a trole if he's paid to do it. He can ruminate behind closed doors and think of a response vs. Being tortured on live stream.

Yeah, we will never see DTTS come back, sadly. So fuckin' good, those days!

But, I like to think his Cameo counter-roasts give him an opportunity to grow back some thick skin and that wit he used to have.

For example, "I'm going to go piss in the toilet and not a box like Jessica Boyle."

 

[ASeabear8952]

Yeah, we will never see DTTS come back, sadly. So fuckin' good, those days!

NIMROD NIMROD NIMROD NIMROD NIMROD