Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.


Here's the full cooking stream:

Start:
Starting off washing his hands because he's making meatballs with his hands from scratch. Need wine and beer for the recipe. 2:26:
Cutting the cheese joke. Cutting the cheese.
4:08:
Another Cutting the cheese joke. People are used to seeing him make pizza or burgers so he's mixing it up. Doesn't care if people don't like his recipe. Don't make it then.
8:18:
Going to have some goth after red wine. Back to Cutting cheese.
12:09:
Opening up the beef to make his dank meatballs.
12:52:
Leaves
13:25:
Time to squeeze out the beef. Beef is covering the screen while he prepares the eggs.
18:00:
Moves the beef out of the way of the camera. Struggles to open up the olive oil.
21:43:
Bacon.
22:40:
Assembling meatballs with beef wrapped around cheese. Wrapped in bacon. He made 7 meatballs.
36:33:
Wash hands so no cross contamination.
38:10:
Puts the left over cheese back in the fridge. Sip of wine.
38:11:
Dunking the meatballs in egg.
44:36:
Garlic powder on meatballs.
46:08:
Spills too much seasoning on his meatballs.
48:55:
Meatballs in oven.
49:57:
Cleaning up before the next step.
51:34:
Smoke coming from his hob. Beer and water in pot. Pasta in pot. Enough pasta to feed all of casper in that pot.
56:02:
Olive oil in pot with pasta. Butter in pot with pasta.
59:54:
Cleaning up. Checks on meatballs
1:03:17:
Wine in with pasta.
1:05:00:
Shows off his wine and the jar of pasta sauce he will be using.
1:15:33:
Fuck rape.
1:16:36:
Meatballs out of the oven.
1:17:47:
Drains pasta
1:22:58:
Tests pasta.
1:23:35:
Heating up sauce. Adds wine and olive oil.
1:26:17:
Adds butter to sauce. Checks meatballs.
1:30:07:
Cheese in sauce. Cuts more cheese.
1:34:26:
Doritos in sauce.
1:38:50:
Takes meatballs out of oven. He's really pleased.
1:41:07:
Plates up spaghetti and meatballs. Drops some and gets pIssed off.
1:44:15:
The finished meal. Washes hands. Cleans up.
1:49:30:
Grated prawmajawn cheese. Cleans up.
1:51:21:
Plugs in his toaster beca6hes making garlic toast.
1:53:50:
More wine.
1:55:17:
Uses the grease from the meatballs instead of butter on the toast and Adds garlic powder to make garlic toast
1:57:11:
Worried about the audio being bad in the video because people always complain about the audio in his cooking videos. Having a smoke and some wine before eating.
2:01:09:
Tries garlic toast. He likes it.
2:04:01:
Tries the spaghetti. He likes it.
2:05:05:
Tries a meatball. He likes it.
2:06:13:
Yuckbang
2:07:10:
Poot. Stops eating and looks like he's going to get sick. Back to the yuckbang. He's struggling.
2:12:47:
Gives up and puts the food in the fridge for later. Ends stream

His meatballs turned out better than Kays, good enough for me :biggrin:
 
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Lenin Lime did an edit of the Spaghetti video too with fixed audio:

Here's his streams from yesterday:
Start:
There are 70 love and vanity tapes left TMDWU. That's 3 albums he's made with Deathbed Tapes now.
2:14:
Puts on a YouTube video. Argues that male rappers rapping about their dicks is make empowerment. Sits in silence watching the video.
6:39:
Has to take a shit and doesn't want to do it on camera. Cuts stream.

He truly is a toddler. Start the stream 10 minutes later instead of stopping it to have a shit dum dum.


Start:
Announces he took a massive shit. Trolls. There's 70 love and vanity tapes left. Talks about his spaghetti and meatballs. He would put less cheese in the meatballs if he makes it again.
3:45:
Watches a YouTube video of a guy doing a mountain dew drink combination.
6:56:
There's a mass shooting going on in Colorado right now. Kobes is tired of the violence YouTube. Gun control. Fuck murder fuck suicide fuck mass shootings power to the people. Back to talking about the shooting.
10:30:
Kobes is not a racist. Back to being depressing.
15:09:
Reads texts. Blocks and deletes troll texts to own the trolls. Says he's an asshole with a heart of gold.
16:50:
Ordered tactical soap. He'll do an unboxing video when he gets it. Grabs a beer.
19:20:
Leftover spaghetti and meatballs yuckbang.
20:05:
Blocking and deleting troll texts. Back to yuckbang. Repeat. Puts his phone on airplane mode and gloats about how he controls his trolls.
24:28:
Puts spaghetti away and back to the video. Talking about the wine glass the dude in the video is using. Back to the video.
26:26:
Kobes is impressed with how the dude on the video drinks soda. Makes a shandy yo drink. 70 tapes left TWU. Talks about being a YouTube celebritybut tries to be humble about it. Back to the video.
31:00:
Kobes is blown away by how the dude on the video drinks lots of soda. Back to watching the video.
33:17:
Kobes can't chug that great but says his guitar playing and singing are his talents.
34:25:
Alcohol free stand up reaction.
35:40:
Kobes gives advice on picking up hipster vegan chicks. Over exaggerated knee slapping laughs.
38:15:
Gender relations
40:29:
Gives dating advice to make other if age ladies jealous. Back to the video.
42:19:
Fondue is just melted cheese man! Expensive restaurants/ snobby waiters rant. Pink champagne. Toxic masculinity and girly drinks.
46:00:
Cheryl and her friends being bitches at the Harry Potter book club. Back to the video for 2 seconds and then Talks about Simps. Back to the video.
50:05:
Reese witherspoon impersonation. I think he means Joan rivers. More beer.
52:38:
Gender relations.
54:30:
Kobes has his own wand business. Power if the mind. Talks about clothes. Back to the video.
56:36:
Airline joke. Back to the video. Airplane tickets are expensive. Back to the video. Scenario of kobes on a plane getting drunk. Back to the video.
1:03:00:
Kobes loves fart jokes quelle suprise! Back to the video.
1:05:33:
Emojis = hieroglyphics. Back to the video.
1:07:00:
Talking about getting old and being a sad grumpy lonely old man chilling with home boy Scotty in his bell tower. Back to the video.
1:10:10:
Kobes likes build your own burger. People who don't like build your own burger are afraid to make their own decisions. Kobes put a cookie in a burger once. Back to the video.
1:14:22:
Rude people in restaurants. Back to the video.
1:15:53:
Checks his Teespring. Someone bought tshirts. Instant money transfer TWU. Ranch is good. Back to the video.
1:18:19:
Drugs are bad mmmkay. Kobes will perfect his own comedy by watching other comedians. Back to the video.
1:23:50:
Compares himself to a rock star. Sometimes rock stars have to make compromises. Back to the video.
1:29:20:
More beer. Returns. Mormons.
1:30:37:
Piss break. Talking about Mormons while he's pissing.
1:32:13:
Returns. Back to the video.
1:39:37:
Dry spell. Says he went to a restaurant the other day and the waitress was star struck by him and his tactical soap. Talks about his spaghetti and meatballs. He's very pleased with it.
1:44:00:
Dating and being old. Depressed about having to date single moms. Back to the video fir a few seconds. Talking about being bald and single. Sounds like he's thinking of finding an older lady with lower standards. Back to the video.
1:49:47:
Calls himself an ugly retarded sperg. Lists off all the things that are wrong with him and says he chooses to focus on the positives. Lists off his tattoos. Talks about his spaghetti and meatballs.
1:56:05:
Distracted by a flick of birds flying past his window. Watching stand up comedy so he can work on his own stand up. Kobes likes making people laugh. Back to the video for 2seconds. There is always someone uglier than you. Crazy laugh.
2:00:00:
Talking about a female comedian he watched who said Wyoming sucks. Kobes disagrees. Back to the video. Rant about misbehaving kids. Beat your kids.
2:09:38:
Rant about men saying 'we are having a baby'. Back to the video.
2:12:20:
Tahxic parents. Back to the video. More beer.
2:14:32:
Piss break.
2:16:36:
Silent treatment rant. He's just complaining about women now. Back to the video. Sitting in silence watching the video.
2:38:42:
Flexing
2:39:10:
Shills love and vanity tapes. Watching stand up helps him work on his own comedy. Ends stream.
 
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Motherfuckers really bought him a Bilbo Baggins pipe from Lord of the Rings

CobraPipe.jpg


Here's the list of packages so far:
Bilbo Pipe
Gift card w/ cringe ween message
Dank t-shirt
Roll of cobra skin
Package of stickers (Cobes refuses to show them)
PETA pamphlet w/ rubber wrist band
Random package of junk mail
Pound of pipe tobacco
Box of snacks w/ birthday card from "of age fangirl"
Box of misc shit that included booze, tobacco, and cans of seafood (one can of beer punctured in the box, he still opened it and drank the one sip that was left).

Of course, after receiving the box with the booze, he immediately took a break to drink. He's currently drinking Curaçao straight from his skull goblet and has another tallboy open.

Back to unboxing:
Metal band t-shirt?
PS3 version of Fallout 3
Another POOT POOT machine (interlude of playing with the fart machine)
Box of junk/something he didn't like and didn't show (threw it away)
"box of garbage" (didn't show, maybe a troll package)
Walnut wood for making wands w/ a bottle of tree oil, silver string (wrapped in burger king bag)
Another box of misc shit (anchovies, lube, another pound of pipe tobacco, Everclear, $5 bill, pocket pussy)
New hat (not opening it or trying it on)
Container of pipe tobacco, door dash gift card, pipe tool
Brand new Crock Pot
A very gothic wall clock, Sam's Club gift card, "crayon box of goodies"

And that's all.




 
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GeneticMtDew said:
Something definitely seems up with him lately. I thought the last few vids it was because he was either drunk or high, but I'm beginning to think it's not that. Could be him being pouty because he's turning 30 but maybe there's some more neighbor drama than we think.
Click to expand...
Moving to a new place, self doxxing and having his neighbors complain about him being noisy is going to turn his mood. He's got to be expecting another SWAT attempt at least and might get kicked out if he live streams too much.
 
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Dick Pooman said:
Motherfuckers really bought him a Bilbo Baggins pipe from Lord of the Rings

View attachment 2023973


Here's the list of packages so far:
Bilbo Pipe
Gift card w/ cringe ween message
Dank t-shirt
Roll of cobra skin
Package of stickers (Cobes refuses to show them)
PETA pamphlet w/ rubber wrist band
Random package of junk mail
Pound of pipe tobacco
Box of snacks w/ birthday card from "of age fangirl"
Box of misc shit that included booze, tobacco, and cans of seafood (one can of beer punctured in the box, he still opened it and drank the one sip that was left).

Of course, after receiving the box with the booze, he immediately took a break to drink. He's currently drinking Curaçao straight from his skull goblet and has another tallboy open.

Back to unboxing:
Metal band t-shirt?
PS3 version of Fallout 3
Another POOT POOT machine (interlude of playing with the fart machine)
Box of junk/something he didn't like and didn't show (threw it away)
"box of garbage" (didn't show, maybe a troll package)
Walnut wood for making wands w/ a bottle of tree oil, silver string (wrapped in burger king bag)
Another box of misc shit (anchovies, lube, another pound of pipe tobacco, Everclear, $5 bill, pocket pussy)
New hat (not opening it or trying it on)
Container of pipe tobacco, door dash gift card, pipe tool
Brand new Crock Pot
A very gothic wall clock, Sam's Club gift card, "crayon box of goodies"

And that's all.


View attachment 2025732
View attachment 2025734
View attachment 2025737
Click to expand...
:semperfidelis:
Start:
Got some fan mail. Drink Bud light platinum #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
Says there were lots of packages at his po box. 2:50:
Grabs his packages and opens them. Phone is on airplane mode to stop the troll texts.
4:12:
Reads a letter. Got a LOTR pipe. Going to try out the new pipe.
10:26:
Opens a package and puts it aside without showing the stream. Reads a letter asking if his magic is for sale.
12:44:
Opens a package with a tshirt with his phrases on it and a birthday card. Brings half of his packages over to his chair.
16:00:
Snakeskin.
17:20:
Stickers and Reads a letter telling him to suck a fart. Says the stickers are weird so he's not reading them out loud.
20:25:
Some PETA stuff. Has a little rant about PETA.
22:10:
He throws one box straight in the trash and says its junk.
23:02:
Tobacco
24:30:
Snacks and a card with kisses on it. It's from an of age goth fan girl. Kobes says he doesn't have to fuck chicks to make a connection.
28:00:
Hogwarts card and a birthday card. Baseball cap. Ukulele you, rubber snake, cigar, hookah Tobacco, a can of cider but it was empty. Lucky strike menthol, bandana, sardines, mussels, mug cake kit, curaco, seasonings.
36:00:
Cleans up.
40:00:
Trying out a lucky strike menthol and the beer he was sent. Trolls are jealous of all his fan mail. Struggles to open the curaçao.
46:59:
Drinks curaçao. Going to make a drink combination called orange cobra.
48:14:
Tshirt.
49:10:
Fallout
49:49:
A pooter . Poots. Poot gang TWU. He loves that one the most.
55:00:
Another package straight in the trash. The next one he doesn't even open just puts it in the trash.
56:30:
Wand. Walnut wood and oil. Says you can make wands out of them. Guitar strings. Reads the letter. It says there's enough wood to make 50 wands.
1:01:00:
Pour Drink into his dirty cup and picks at it because there's Cork in the cup from the curaçao.
1:03:20:
Anchovies, lube, Tobacco, everclear, and a birthday card with $5. Pocket pussy. Says it beats a dry spell and he's definitely not using that on camera.
1:09:09:
New hats. If they fit, they fit.
1:10:18:
Tobacco and door dash card, more gift cards. New pipe tool.
1:13:10:
Crock pot.
1:15:23:
A custom clock and a birthday card, Sam's club gift card. Bananas. Monster energy drinks. Liquid death sparkling water. Snacks. Hair dye and nail polish. More Snacks.
1:21:00:
Cleaning up.
1:28:00:
Shows off his clock and Tobacco again. Says the clock will be a cool project for his house.
1:30:06:
Leaves. Takes his wand with him to put out the trash.
1:39:44:
Checks out his Tobacco and alcohol again.
141:30:
Testing out some pipe Tobacco. Now he doesn't have to squeeze butt's into his pipes to get a nicotine fix.
1:48:46:
Says he will stream setting up the clock. Turning 30 on Friday TWU
1:50:45:
Poot
1:51:55:
Talking about his fans. Says this was a very awesome stream.
1:55:00:
Pleased with how his spaghetti and meatballs turned out.
Says he'll check the po box weekly so it doesn't pile up.
1:59:39:
Says he's developed a cult following. Suck it trolls. Talking about stretching out the Tobacco and alcohol he received for a few days. Shills po box for more unboxing videos.
2:02:30:
Talking about his dry spell.
2:04:58:
Back to talking about all the Tobacco he got. He's wanted to smoke a pipe since he saw 101 Dalmatians and Roger smoked a pipe. Turns into a rant about vaping.
2:12:00:
Can crush for the fan mail. Back to talking about all the Tobacco he got.
2:14:32:
Shows off his ozzy knuckle tattoo. Smoking his Lucky strike menthol. Talking about turning 30.
2:18:09:
Says he's going to save the everclear for a rainy day. Gags while talking about everclear.
2:21:33:
Talking about Shon like he just remembered he's there. Says he's clean and has no kids, no need to bitch about his dry spell. Turning 30 on Friday. Falling asleep while he finishes his drink.
2:2626:
Says his fans make him feel like a rock star even though technically he's not. Finishes his drink and ends the stream.

Chat was saying the packages he threw out were a bible and an electric toothbrush.

Here's his last 2 streams:
Showing off his cologne and tactical soap he ordered. He ordered more. He will use these when he showers. Grabs his beard oil. He will unbox the order from grondike when it arrives TWU. Shills Tactical Soap. Tactical soap makes Kobes feel confident to talk to of age ladies despite his Asperger's. Female Tactical soap would be good. Goddess Tactical soap. Pink and purple.

Start:
Says he doesn't know what to do anymore. Having a drink. #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement . Going to read an article a fan sent him about rape.
2:23:
Article about a woman who cheated in her boyfriend with the man who raped her. This is why he does gender relations.
3:53:
People suck I need a beer. Starts reading the article.
5:17:
Rant about no one caring about when women rape men. Keeps comparing sluts to rapists. Fuck mass shootings. Fuck rape.
7:03:
Kobes is steaming pissed. Back to read the article. Rape is a no no. Fuck rape. Men would not like to be raped themselves so why do they rape? Back to reading the article.
9:26:
Has to pause to breath. Kobes would not have sex with a drunk if age woman even if she gave him consent prior to passing out. Kobes hates rape. Back to the article.
14:50:
This article is not helping stop the stereotype that women like assholes. Men prefer sluts until they have to deal with them. Back to reading the article.
17:55:
Posts a link to the article in chat. Men get so much crap for cheating on their women. Admits he cheated on Stephanie. Back to reading the article.
29:38:
Stuff like this is why koves is no longer interested in ending his dry spell. Back to reading the article. Kobes is blown away YouTube.
22:18:
Appreciates the care packages. Kobes hates rape. Get a sex doll instead. Don't rape. Kobes wouldn't have sex with an of age drunk girl he would make sure no one fucks with her while she's passed out too. Fuck rape.
25:04:
People suck I need a beer. Checks his Teespring. Someone ordered a tshirt. Instant transfer. Now he has more money for tactical soap.
28:12:
Kobes hates rape more than he hates trolls. Liquid death sparkling water. Tastes like water. Kobes likes how the can looks. Looks like alcohol but is not. #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
30:27:
Mumbles Fuck rape and ends the stream

 
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Dick Pooman said:
Evil clown gimmick youtube e-girl buys and reviews one of Cobra's etsy wands and makes fun of him. The end.
Click to expand...
She's not just a youtube e-girl, she mainly does softcore clown fetish porn. Why anyone would waste their time with softcore clown fetish porn instead of hardcore clown fetish porn is a mystery to me.

Heil Honkler.
 
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D_Tractor said:
She's not just a youtube e-girl, she mainly does softcore clown fetish porn. Why anyone would waste their time with softcore clown fetish porn instead of hardcore clown fetish porn is a mystery to me.

Heil Honkler.
Click to expand...
She seems all kinds of crazy. It won't be long until she has her own thread.
 
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