Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I don't think he is drinking enough to physically get major withdrawals etc, but I think a more pressing concern is the effect of the alcohol on his mental health - especially during covid. He's spending his days locked up inside talking to himself on camera and occasionally interacting with messages in text form. Yeah he occasionally has a friend over for some drinks or a smoke, but I do wonder how much sunlight the cobra-skin has actually felt over 2020 and 2021. Probably just going to buy beers and post some wands. You see this sort of stuff in permanently-online cows; they maybe have some semblance of a life offline, whether that is a job, a hobby or just going out to bars with friends, but once a major chance happens like losing a job, they find that they can just about keep ticking along on NEETbux and tugboats and it's downhill from there. This dude started out looking like Smeagol but now he's fucking Gollum.
Per the subreddit, the new apartment is apparently waaaaay out of the way of anything, whereas his first one was pretty much in the "heart" of all his favorite haunts. I doubt even post-pandemic he'll be anywhere close to as active outside as he was.
 

Whiskey and Mango Pepsi.

Cobes is not a fan of Coke telling employees to be less white.

Edit: Cobes believes being told to stop creeping women out and raping them with his eyes is a normal, male experience.

Edit2: Cobes does not have an alcohol problem. He only sometimes drinks in the morning. :stress:


Short video to talk about something serious.

Fuck rape in all forms.
 
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Cobra is in that involuntary celibate phase where he starts coming up with strange and warped theories about sex. Saying that rape happens because sex is a want and not a need is a new one. I'd love to see where he's getting this shit from. It doesn't sound like a thought that would naturally flow from Cobra's mind.
 
So the thought is from what I gather, that fat fuck Courtney's discord have persuaded him that he deserves the money bitesize makes on his livestreams, which roughly Tallys up to that number or its in the thousands at least. The fact of the matter is, Josh seems to have blown through his stim at lightspeed pace so he is utterly fucking poor again. Now he is using this as a point of anger because he believes this money is rightfully his because his little monkey brain can't get a wrap around the fact that just because it's him in the video, it's not his content.

The problem is that bitesize supposedly uses the money that he gets to buy josh shit, like gift cards and monetary donations. However I don't actually know how true that is as its just bitesizes word.
People say he pissed all the money away already, but as was my understanding, Clint controlled nearly 100% of his finances and wasn't allowing him a credit card anymore (hence why any purchase needs to require "money in my paypal"). I think Homedad just isn't giving him much, if any, cash and he's getting more and more frustrated with being denied "his" cash.

Though I have heard the Bitesize buys him giftcards thing through a variety of sources, iirc BS himself admitted as much. That I have less of a problem with, if baldy wants a pizza in exchange for all his hard work with jender relayshuns rants and vocal covers, fair enough.

Cobra is in that involuntary celibate phase where he starts coming up with strange and warped theories about sex. Saying that rape happens because sex is a want and not a need is a new one. I'd love to see where he's getting this shit from. It doesn't sound like a thought that would naturally flow from Cobra's mind.
If he wasn't blind and illiterate I'd have bet money on him stumbling across the Love Shy forums and r9k. More likely than not he just marathons whatever MGTOW nonsense that YouTube autoplays for him after a Terrance Pop binge and he just rolls with it.
 
People say he pissed all the money away already, but as was my understanding, Clint controlled nearly 100% of his finances and wasn't allowing him a credit card anymore
I dont think Cobra has ever had a credit card, and thank fuck for that. Clint hangs on to his bank card. I'm sure it's for the reasons we all expect, but Cobra has said in the past that Clint would give it back if Cobra paid the $1000+ in overdraft fees that Clint has dished out.

Cobra has also said that he's able to just go to the bank in person and make withdrawals without his card. So if that's true, it seems like a minor inconvenience if anything.
 
People say he pissed all the money away already, but as was my understanding, Clint controlled nearly 100% of his finances and wasn't allowing him a credit card anymore (hence why any purchase needs to require "money in my paypal"). I think Homedad just isn't giving him much, if any, cash and he's getting more and more frustrated with being denied "his" cash.
Wrong, Cobra has online access to his account. Josh just bought close to 400 worth of soap, or enough to get $75 back from an order, paid his rent and had change to get some booze, which is why he was so instantly poor. Josh always had full access to his account, even when he took out loans which Clint had to pay for and a few other times it's come back to hit his account hard. Clint controls nothing, he only has his card held from him.
 
New shirt toobz

Dude had a profound random access humour moment for this one!
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Here's Kobes' latest streams:
Short video. Shout out to his Patreons. Guitar shredding. Shout out to a friends band but he can't remember the name of the band. Says if he messages him the band name he'll do another shout out. Shills Patreon. #youdonthavetpdonatebutdonationsaregreatlyappreciated


Start:
Was spray painting his wands outside. Needs to re do the tip on the one he's working on. Drink combination Jack Daniels and mango Pepsi with not zero sugar. Doesn't have a drinking problem.
2:50:
Do you chase excellence or pursue it. Not drinking all the whisky in one sitting because that's s waste. Just one drink for now. Thinks the drink combination will be nicer than the zero sugar. Rant about coca cola talking shit about white people.
6:95:
Double standards. Okay to be racist to white people. Stirring drink with his wand. Shills PayPal. #youdonthavetodonatebutdonationsaregreatlysppreciated not an alcoholic.
8:57:
Do you chase excellence or pursue it. George Bruno says stop chasing girls and let them chase you. Don't chase girls pursue them.
10:34:
Reading troll texts. A lot of chicks are star struck by him. He's only having one drink. Reading fan texts. Only having one drink!
12:48:
Make women chase you because they expect men to make the first move and then accuse men of raping them with their eyes. Complaining about buying drinks for women. Only having one drink. Doesn't feel like drinking much today. Everyone else can drink but as soon as kobes dies everyone jumps on him for it. Reads a fan text.
15:50:
Using reverse psychology to pick up of age chicks at bars. Simp = slut rant. Women and men want the same thing. Reads texts.
18:57:
No one ever talks about women treating men like sex objects. It irks kobes. Double standards. Shills PO box and wands.
20:40:
Hollywood is too faced towards old people. Leave Ozzy alone. Damn disrespectful hipsters. Only just one drink. Sometimes Doesn't even have a drink in the morning. Doesn't have s drinking problem. Kobes knows when to slow down drinking he can't help his alcohol tolerance has gone up. Kobes sometimes has a drinking problem. Kobes loves Jack Daniels.
25:24:
Do you pursue excellence or chase it. Get girls to chase you. Tactical soap works. Women kobes hangs out are always sniffing and saying Josh smells good. Shills Teespring.
27:23:
Went to loaf n jug. Didn't win the lottery, maybe next time. Clocktower dream house. Kobes would help the world if he won the lottery. Doesn't have a drinking problem.
30:30:
Gender relations
32:13:
Bought a sandwich at loaf n jug. Dropped his sandwich because he was picking up s penny and list his temper. Trying to work on controlling his temper. Reads text from totally real of age fan girl. Not worried about ending his dry spell. Kobes trolls are jealous that even though he doesn't brush his teeth or change his clothes he still gets of age fan girls sending him titty pics. Tactical soap and sacrificing his dry spell to help gender relations are why the of age ladies love kobes. Maybe not a real of age fan girl.
37:40:
Dating scene. Reads texts from the totally real of age fan girl. The real reason he can't get an of age girlfriend is because he has so many of age fan girls texting him all the time because he is famous. Not Mr. Beast famous but famous.
40:10:
Realises it was a troll catfish
41:40:
Spooky girl is a legit of age fan girl.
43:29:
Puts on a YouTube video. Ozzy got a wrestling hall of fame award. Kobes appreciates his fans. Troll rant. Back to the video.
46:30:
Complaining about BCV and Anonymouscasperwy . Says his video reactions are not the same thing as people who edit his videos. Reads text from a definitely real of age fan girl. Someone sent him a dick pic. Doesn't have a drinking problem.
50:50:
Kobes Ignores the trolls. Blocks troll texts. Reads texts. Blocks troll texts.
54:37:
Kobes doesn't have a drinking problem. Kobes owns the trolls by ignoring, blocking and deleting them.
56:36:
Lost his temper after dropping his sandwich then dropped his Pepsi and it slid out of the fridge and then dropped something in the ashtray. Trying to control his temper. Reads a fan text. Kobes hates 'racisms'.
59:34:
Puts his phone on airplane mode. Complaining about trolls. Kobes takes a long time to swallow his liquor because he's savouring the taste. Only having one drink. Might have another at 5pm
Doesn't have a drinking problem. Doesn't matter that he gets hammered on camera all the time and his family has a history of alcoholism. Talks about Clints drinking problem.
1:05:07:
Singing.
1:05:57:
Kobes doesn't know all the racist terms. Trolls taking advantage of him because muh autism. Kobes has the trolls eating out of the palms of his hands. Singing.
1:08:00:
Stop chasing girls let's them chase you. 2 and half year dry spell has made him a better person. Talks about a 50 years Oldman in town whos never had a girlfriend or gotten laid.
1:10:45:
Every chick that friend zones you is potentially a girlfriend if you wait patiently enough.
1:12:00:
Wants another drink but will wait patiently until 5pm to prove he doesn't have a drinking problem. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Kobes favourite expression. Explains how to smoke a pipe. Smoking PSA.
1:17:17:
His fans don't have to send him tobacco and alcohol just show up for the streams. Age is a state of mind. Ozzy is old and still living life so kobes shouldn't be upset fir turning 30. Drinking makes kobes 80% British come out.
1:20:50:
Checks on his wand. Makes another little drink. Definitely not drinking the rest of the whisky until 5pm. Mango Pepsi #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
1:24:50:
Dating tips. KingSoapraJFS . Talks about meeting up with a fan for a photo and kobes hooked him up with some Tactical soap.
1:27:37:
No reason to chug his drink.
1:28:29:
Confidence comes from within. Kobes doesn't let his dry spell or baldness and autism stop him from talking to of age chicks.
1:32:12:
Simping is okay sometimes. Scenario of getting stood up on valentines day.
1:35:27:
Focus on the chicks that accept you even if they're not the prettiest. Dating tips. Gender relations. More dating advice. Society pressures women into thinking they're fat.
1:42:27:
Kobes has been rejected by every chick since the 4th grade. Its challenging not to wallow in depression. Chaturbate. Gender relations Double standards.
1:51:20:
Relationship advice - Tactical soap and lube. Lube #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
Shills tactical soap
1:55:40:
Even ugly fat chicks with busted faces can be attractive if they have confidence. It's okay to be into fat chicks. If fat chicks didn't get love the murder suicide rate would be through the roof. Body shaaaamming Double standards. Scenario of turning down a big fat ugly chick and a girl turning down and ugly fat guy Double standards.
2:02:48:
Fat acceptance movement only for women Double standards. Makes a big show about finishing his drink. Mango Pepsi #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement. Gender relations.
2:06:20:
Talks about how excited he was to hang out on stream with George Bruno. Turns it into a rant about Christians.
2:08:17:
Corn cob pipe from Walgreens. It's a fine collection to his pieces.
2:09:50:
Unexpected sneeze. Snots all over his hand. Wipes them on his pants. Smokes a pipe because Roger in 101 Dalmatians smoked a pipe.
2:12:05:
Pie high hat. Pipe tobacco has less chemicals and is cheaper and better smelling than cigarette tobacco.

Short video. Takes off his pie high hat to talk about something serious. Fuck rape in all forms. April is sexual assault awareness month. We need to stop treating sex like a want not a need. Someone bought 2 of his shirts. Been sipping o the same drink for over an hour. Fuck rape. Need to stop putting pressure on people to get laid. Just wanted to make a quick little video to say fuck rape and sexual assault. Sex is a want not a need. Thanks for buying his shirts.

Short video. Teespring changed its name to just Spring. Kobes doesn't care about the name, he likes the site. Made a new t-shirt that says cut the shit I'd rather cut the cheese. Hilarious fart joke. Kobes thinks farts are funny. People suck I need a beer. Shills his t-shirt. Farts are funny. Kobes will laugh at farts up until he's 90 years old if he lives that long. Shills his shirts.

Kobes should take his own dating advice from his Chillin stream and lower his own standards, get his ass up to Canada and end both his and Chantal's dry spells.
 
People like to think of Cobes' dad as some kind of caretaker but he is basically just a regular guy. He can't force Josh to do anything or steal his money when he is living on his own.
People forget; Josh is a retard. That subreddit rides Clint as though he just allowed Jord to run the streets completely unchecked and that's why he's the way he is, but the guy is a legit, certified retard. I'm sure the guy didn't have the best decision making 100% of the time but it really does blow my mind sometimes how people disregard the whole "Josh's brain isn't developed like a normal person" aspect.
 
People forget; Josh is a retard. That subreddit rides Clint as though he just allowed Jord to run the streets completely unchecked and that's why he's the way he is, but the guy is a legit, certified retard. I'm sure the guy didn't have the best decision making 100% of the time but it really does blow my mind sometimes how people disregard the whole "Josh's brain isn't developed like a normal person" aspect.
Totally. He's also an adult retard so even more capable of making detrimental life decisions
 
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Regard Wranglin' • Apr 6, 2021​

Bogli-Man

Kobra Law 3,400$ is YOURS!!!*

Redwine!redwine!


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Kate Winslet has been putting out a series on Cool Taste, he's not really part of the Cobraverse much anymore but I'll just post them all here for fun and posterity;
 

Regard Wranglin' • Apr 6, 2021​

Bogli-Man
View attachment 2071316
Kobra Law 3,400$ is YOURS!!!*
View attachment 2071325
Redwine!redwine!
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View attachment 2071306View attachment 2071307View attachment 2071309

Kate Winslet has been putting out a series on Cool Taste, he's not really part of the Cobraverse much anymore but I'll just post them all here for fun and posterity;

Has he always been missing his teeth????
 
Got them removed in the past year. He is like early 20s too.
God damn. Cool Taste's life really is tragic. Not only does Multiple Sclerosis have the ability to directly fuck up your teeth and gums, but medications that treat MS can fuck up your teeth as well. Not to mention that he probably wasn't able to brush his teeth with any real affect based on how badly his hands shake.
 
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Reactions: Ellesse_warrior
Kobes should take his own dating advice from his Chillin stream and lower his own standards, get his ass up to Canada and end both his and Chantal's dry spells.
Exactly, like most people in his predicament he could simply lower his standards and probably instantly get laid. I love how most incels are like "Women are bitches for not fucking me. No fat chicks tho"
 
People like to think of Cobes' dad as some kind of caretaker but he is basically just a regular guy. He can't force Josh to do anything or steal his money when he is living on his own.

People forget; Josh is a retard. That subreddit rides Clint as though he just allowed Jord to run the streets completely unchecked and that's why he's the way he is, but the guy is a legit, certified retard. I'm sure the guy didn't have the best decision making 100% of the time but it really does blow my mind sometimes how people disregard the whole "Josh's brain isn't developed like a normal person" aspect.
Clint was basically hands off as soon as he helped josh get into his old place after moving out from the original cobra lair (rip) for the first few years josh did fine, no one had a problem not a single person including myself could say that josh couldn't look after himself l. However sometime around the Scotty with a katana era, cracks started to show in how mental his surroundings were, the people he invited round and how he acted. In 2018-19 it really started to show how incapable josh was. The biggest problem and biggest deciding factor for many people was either the homemade chips incident, or the infamous industrial torch to light a hookah. Them alone show that he is beyond able to functionally live on his own without being a danger to himself. And I haven't even touched on his mental and alcoholic problems.

A lot of people who are new to cobes in the past year or two don't tend to realise how little Clint interacts with josh, from 18 josh basically started drinking and smoking, then at 21 he instantly went to the shop to buy cigs and alcohol. Clint would not be able to get cobra to wash, take care of himself fully or other small things back in his childhood and pretty much came to terms with the fact that he could not control him. Clint is basically out of the picture unless something bad happens at the flat or there is a family get together and they think it's probably wise that josh turns up. The weens that call Clint up basically nailed that down calling him and his sister up for years.
 
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