Kiwi Spotting

I still haven't met a kiwi IRL, but I found out I work with a channer.
He verbally shitposts for the sake of it and it explains so SO much now that I know.

Edit- we fought over the best tendies source once.
 
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Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I walk outside and enjoy the fresh air and how quiet it is on my street. I inhale deeply, letting the cool night air fill my lungs, and yell "JULAY!"

The neighborhood dogs start barking, front porch light come alive and the customary groggy stare from behind a screen door are all expected. And then I wait. I wait to hear an answer. The answer to the call of our people. A companion "JULAY!"

I haven't heard it yet, but I know you're out there, my fellow kiwis. We will never met, but the existential loneliness of the Universe isn't as threatening or overwhelming knowing that one night I will get that answer. Live in hope, my brothers and sisters. Live in hope.
 
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Mediocre said:
>"I see you're b-browsing the same forum I d-do"
>"y-you too"
*speed walks out of coffee shop*
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Coffee shop? What kind of jet setting, playboy fantasy dreamland do you think we are living in?

I can brew a bathtub full of coffee for the price those chislers are demanding and that money would be better spent on cheap liquor anyway.
 
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I have figured some of you knew who I was already, so it's not a problem, but if you met me you'd probably just ignore me like you do anyhow. No probs.
 
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Both my online persona and IRL persona have cute feet so that is really the only identifying thing about me , except I don't post pics of my feet on the internet

If u spot me with a blunt come say hello , I'd likely share with a fellow agriculturist or harvester. (The codeword is, beauty parlor)
Shaved Kiwis said:
Coffee shop?
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Shaved Kiwis said:
that money would be better spent on cheap liquor anyway.
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We can all make fun of dangerhairs together and then not tip them . And also use their wifi to shitpost on the farms
 
Has anyone got married to a Kiwifarmer who is active on this form? For example, found a real man and a real woman on this form. Meet up by accident, or arrange a meet up. Then got married later on and have kids.
 
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Aside from a very small handful of kiwis, no way in hell would I reveal myself to anyone in public. If I saw someone browsing the farms in public, I’d be amused, wonder who it might be and keep it to myself.
 
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I saw @SIGSEGV at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
 
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I'm pretty sure at least 2 of my IRL friends are on this forum and I have the feeling they know i'm on it too but none of us will ever say anything about it.
We just all seem to know about stuff that happens on the internet just about the same time its posted here and its been to coincidental to many times.
 
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Vampirella said:
A smart Kiwi isn't spotted outside of the Farms.
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It's not nearly as fun if you're not about to get discovered.
I tend to open up Kiwifarms on the train or plane or places like this.

EIther to make people uncomfortable or to make them smirk a bit. Cause you just know people will glance at your screen when they have nothing to do for 8 hours. Especially if you exchange a few words and seem chill during the trip.

Just don't login for OPSEC unless you keep your postings very kosher.


Still haven't had anyone admit to me they are a farmer though.
 
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