Lack of motivation

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

Think of something you want to achieve in your live (family, career, etc) and work towards it.

"If you have no goals, think of your goals and work toward them."

 

[NoCockatrice]

"If you have no goals, think of your goals and work toward them."

Goals have different purposes.

The ones I mean are directly connected to one's future life.


Everyone has at least a vague vision of their later life. Even something as simple as "I want money" can indicate goals to achieve.

 

[Double Taps]

Just brute force it, start going to social events, join clubs (literally any), try things you've never done. You hate people but I think you just aren't around your type often.

In my shithole country everyones on meds or drugs or both,

Sounds like it's time to move, for starters.

Spoiler: Bonus White Pill

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Don't take anyone's advice, everyone will tell you to do things that will make you more like them. There's no secret answer to this. You have to figure it out on your own, or else you'll just end up living the life that someone else thinks is correct.

And if you take this advice you're just going to end up like me. So don't do it. But also do it because I am correct.

 

[PositiveMonk]

get some goals to work towards for, and some fun hobbies you can enjoy outside of the farms.

Lack of motivation isn't the same as lack of discipline. Build the latter, and the former won't matter.

These two pieces of advice really sum up what pulled me out of my rut. I found some hobbies I could focus on, then started making sure to hold myself accountable and work towards realistic goals. Outside of those goals I started thinking of things I could also do to build self discipline. I started with small things where it didn't matter if I fucked them up, or when I did them. Those two ideas work really well together, the simple tasks for the sake of self discipline can give you a little win to help motivate you to take a step towards your goal.

A lifetime of dutifully carrying out obligations that you feel nothing about

It's not really obligations you feel nothing about, it's building self discipline by doing constructive things that will make you feel better. You could argue that sweeping your porch is a silly task, that it'll just get dirty again and is pointless, but doing it is going to give you a sense of pride for having a clean nice looking porch and a feeling like you've done something constructive. Those are the reasons why you do it. Also dude, are you okay? I hope you can find some meaning and fulfillment if you're struggling.

The only times I've felt alive recently were when I messed with ppl who annoy me. Like that one time I got my flatmates evicted.

OP this sounds incredibly fucking gay and you may want to reflect on why you feel that way. It doesn't sound good.

Then there's the politics, surveillance everywhere, everything going to shit. In my shithole country everyones on meds or drugs or both, everyones mentally ill.

It's rough and everything is shit, but you really just need to know what you want for yourself and ignore what everyone else is doing. If you don't know what you want for yourself then it's worth taking the time to give some thought to that.

 

[spaztocate9000]

small steps instead of big steps, especially at first.

 

[Rungle]

Do not set life goals.
Life goals bite you in the ass later as every setback will lead to depression when they mount up.

Has there been a certain event in your life causing this or do you believe this is a slowburn?

Is it a situation of "I do not want to die, but I do not mind not waking up tommorow?"

 

[KifflomKween]

I don't have a problem with discipline. When I set my mind onto something I can be very obcessive and driven. Like Beth Harmon in the Queen's Gambit kind of obcessive. And I have gotten pretty far.

Do not set life goals.
Life goals bite you in the ass later as every setback will lead to depression when they mount up.

Has there been a certain event in your life causing this or do you believe this is a slowburn?

Is it a situation of "I do not want to die, but I do not mind not waking up tommorow?"

It's been a series of events, namely getting to a point where I was making about twice the minimum wage in the beginning of my career and still not being able to afford moving out to my own place unless I moved to some backwater shithole in the interior, and spending years grinding I guess to prove myself to random nerds, my family and myself to show that I could do it, doing it, and then getting older and wiser and realizing I was just wasting my time impressing people I didn't respect or like.
I did still move out but I live with flatmates.

I also had a certain glamorized idea of what working for a company was like until I had to work in an office and hated it instantly. I realized I'm not built to spend my days in a dusty cubicle looking at a screen or have interminable meetings and briefings every day.

Another thing was looking at other colleagues, some older some my age, and seeing how they were all so fat, had poor eyesight and were generally unhealthy and that really put me off. I remember whenever the time came to discuss health insurance I would hear so many people in their early and mid 20s talking about how they're in and out of doctors constantly with health issues they shouldn't be having until at least their late 30s. And this wasn't just the one sickly person, it was the majority. I found that very strange and unsettling. It made me feel even less inclined to spend my next years sitting in front of a screen.

I worked really hard for years and got little appreciation for it. I felt like i was just being used.

Then there's the loneliness and pointlessness of relationships these days. Guys my age just want to have fun and hookups and they all have some baggage about muh ex that they expect to offload on you, or some idea about being a "proper man" with you as their prop. Can't rely on women's friendships for anything because they flake, they ignore you for the current guy, and they're never around when you actually need something practical or solutions and always resent you when you do better in your life.

I started to see a recurrent pattern in my life, be it my family, school, university, career (from companies to the local cafe) it's always the laziest, least talented, most toxic parasitic people who seem to do better. The alternative is to work as a freelancer which i considered, but I'd still have to contribute to society in some way and I think thats really where I lost all motivation. I no longer have any drive to contribute to society, for many reasons. I think i realized i was just going to end up being used and discarded eventually. I think that all or most jobs carry this feeling of doing something that's not really you, as in being just a cog in the machine.

It's not just "this" society, I suppose you could say the same about any society. I got to a point where I don't like, care about or have any interest in other people to actually want to contribute in any meaningful way.

I could say it's because I'm a woman and have been through a lot of cultural and institutional discrimination in top of having my wings clipped in terms of self defence by my country's cucked laws, but I'm sure men can relate to the sentiment, for other reasons.

Tl;dr I used to care about being good and useful and have others see my worth, but it never got me anything other than being used and I realized that worth and image has less to do with any actual virtue and more to do with what others think of you, and that made me completely stop caring for others or improving their lives in any way. Maybe I never cared and only now I am seeing it.

 

[Rungle]

I used to care about being good and useful and have others see my worth, but it never got me anything other than being used and I realized that worth and image has less to do with any actual virtue and more to do with what others think of you, and that made me completely stop caring for others or improving their lives in any way. Maybe I never cared and only now I am seeing it.

There is really no shame in thinking this.
I think everyone comes to a point in their life where the veil of social interaction gets broken down to its basics, and the theatrics behind every action is laid bare.
Its a soft nihilism or midlife crisis.

You either rise above it or you need a big change for example a change of workplace, cutting fake people off, ect.

There is really no 100% right answer anyone can give you but yourself.

This does not mean others cannot help you find that answer though, there are still genuine people out there.

Its ok to be afraid of this.

 

[KifflomKween]

You either rise above it or you need a big change for example a change of workplace, cutting fake people off, ect.

I have, but now I feel an emptiness. I feel like most places are like this and I'll spend my life hiding if I just avoid. I don't think I'm meant to be a hermit, it's not my nature. At the same time I haven't quite figured out how to deal with people.

 

[Dfackt0]

I have, but now I feel an emptiness. I feel like most places are like this and I'll spend my life hiding if I just avoid. I don't think I'm meant to be a hermit, it's not my nature. At the same time I haven't quite figured out how to deal with people.

lots of people feel like that, that they dont belong in society and they should remove themselves and all future editions from it
I think men in particular are drawn to that, especially ones that are more disagreeable and less pleasantly social
It can be very appealing and easy to just dispense with all of that and run
But a life spent running is exactly that, just running
your answer is probably somewhere in the middle, ask yourself how social you are

There is really no 100% right answer anyone can give you but yourself.

Hes onto something here, theres a reason we aren't all sane and sterile and completely well adjusted
There is no one size fits all, your mileage will vary, and no one can prescribe the perfect fix but you

A part of you knows what needs to be done to fulfill your life, even if the rest of you doesn't
Whatever it is, just make sure you do it

 

[Rungle]

I have, but now I feel an emptiness. I feel like most places are like this and I'll spend my life hiding if I just avoid. I don't think I'm meant to be a hermit, it's not my nature. At the same time I haven't quite figured out how to deal with people.

I am not going to try and sell you on a way of living but I want to have this said.

Make people deal with you instead.
Hard at first, but slowly you can manage.

Those who want to deal with you are worth keeping, those who are not are not worth your time.

Being unapologetically yourself is a good way to attain happiness if you do not care enough about the norms of the world.

 

[KifflomKween]

Being unapologetically yourself is a good way to attain happiness if you do not care enough about the norms of the world.

Being unapologetically yourself can cause a lot of problems though and besides you're exposing yourself to a lot of people who don't deserve you. You'd end up with a very small circle and I think this is another way of running away. I think that this is where i have to find the balance.

 

[Rungle]

Being unapologetically yourself can cause a lot of problems though and besides you're exposing yourself to a lot of people who don't deserve you. You'd end up with a very small circle and I think this is another way of running away. I think that this is where i have to find the balance.

Rather be happy with a small circle then being surrounded by people wearing masks.

My advice is killing that optimistic vision of having a lot of friends with people and having grand parties where everybody is happy-go-lucky.

You are going to fall into that hole again of people sucking up to each other, where nobody is truly genuine and everybody is shallow.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I've come to feel that what I have on me, since my failed job search, is acedia. It's not depression, because I genuinely enjoy myself for much of the day and do things. But its a glum acceptance of the idea of just sleepwalking into losing my job with no replacement.

 

[KifflomKween]

I've come to feel that what I have on me, since my failed job search, is acedia. It's not depression, because I genuinely enjoy myself for much of the day and do things. But its a glum acceptance of the idea of just sleepwalking into losing my job with no replacement.

I quit, but went through a similar slump. Though I feel better now.

Apparently writing smut helps.

 

[foam rolla]

Find a race of people that you don't like and focus all your energy and time into hating them.

 

[KifflomKween]

Find a race of people that you don't like and focus all your energy and time into hating them.

I hate everyone equally.

 

[PositiveMonk]

I hate everyone equally.

So focus all your energy and time into hating everyone equally.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Goals have different purposes.

The ones I mean are directly connected to one's future life.


Everyone has at least a vague vision of their later life. Even something as simple as "I want money" can indicate goals to achieve.

"I wanna stop drinking", stops drinking. Okay now what? It's like saying "I wanna lose weight" rather than "I wanna get into cycling and swimming".