I don't have a problem with discipline. When I set my mind onto something I can be very obcessive and driven. Like Beth Harmon in the Queen's Gambit kind of obcessive. And I have gotten pretty far.
Do not set life goals.
Life goals bite you in the ass later as every setback will lead to depression when they mount up.
Has there been a certain event in your life causing this or do you believe this is a slowburn?
Is it a situation of "I do not want to die, but I do not mind not waking up tommorow?"
It's been a series of events, namely getting to a point where I was making about twice the minimum wage in the beginning of my career and still not being able to afford moving out to my own place unless I moved to some backwater shithole in the interior, and spending years grinding I guess to prove myself to random nerds, my family and myself to show that I could do it, doing it, and then getting older and wiser and realizing I was just wasting my time impressing people I didn't respect or like.
I did still move out but I live with flatmates.
I also had a certain glamorized idea of what working for a company was like until I had to work in an office and hated it instantly. I realized I'm not built to spend my days in a dusty cubicle looking at a screen or have interminable meetings and briefings every day.
Another thing was looking at other colleagues, some older some my age, and seeing how they were all so fat, had poor eyesight and were generally unhealthy and that really put me off. I remember whenever the time came to discuss health insurance I would hear so many people in their early and mid 20s talking about how they're in and out of doctors constantly with health issues they shouldn't be having until at least their late 30s. And this wasn't just the one sickly person, it was the majority. I found that very strange and unsettling. It made me feel even less inclined to spend my next years sitting in front of a screen.
I worked really hard for years and got little appreciation for it. I felt like i was just being used.
Then there's the loneliness and pointlessness of relationships these days. Guys my age just want to have fun and hookups and they all have some baggage about muh ex that they expect to offload on you, or some idea about being a "proper man" with you as their prop. Can't rely on women's friendships for anything because they flake, they ignore you for the current guy, and they're never around when you actually need something practical or solutions and always resent you when you do better in your life.
I started to see a recurrent pattern in my life, be it my family, school, university, career (from companies to the local cafe) it's always the laziest, least talented, most toxic parasitic people who seem to do better. The alternative is to work as a freelancer which i considered, but I'd still have to contribute to society in some way and I think thats really where I lost all motivation. I no longer have any drive to contribute to society, for many reasons. I think i realized i was just going to end up being used and discarded eventually. I think that all or most jobs carry this feeling of doing something that's not really you, as in being just a cog in the machine.
It's not just "this" society, I suppose you could say the same about any society. I got to a point where I don't like, care about or have any interest in other people to actually want to contribute in any meaningful way.
I could say it's because I'm a woman and have been through a lot of cultural and institutional discrimination in top of having my wings clipped in terms of self defence by my country's cucked laws, but I'm sure men can relate to the sentiment, for other reasons.
Tl;dr I used to care about being good and useful and have others see my worth, but it never got me anything other than being used and I realized that worth and image has less to do with any actual virtue and more to do with what others think of you, and that made me completely stop caring for others or improving their lives in any way. Maybe I never cared and only now I am seeing it.