- Joined
- Jun 4, 2018
I've never had any interest in Rescue Rangers, didn't grow up with it. Post-TLJ, I can hardly understand why you would unironically watch the new postmodern/post-ironic/deconstruction when you could spend time with any other classic media.
It's like going to the theatre to watch a rework of Hamlet starring a minority cast, beating you over the head with a message that is neither subtle or nuanced and doesn't leave any room for interpretation, not to mention the self-indulgence.
Retards who enjoy shit like Wreck-It-Ralph 2 compilation movies deserve no sympathy, it's peak consoomer.
This has honestly made my weekend. The amount of /co/ oldfags and furries seething over this is hilarious, not to mention the influx of memes.
Middle-aged!Peter Pan's portrayal was by far the worst thing about this abomination, considering Bobby Driscoll's actual fate.
For those not in the loop, below a (stolen) breakdown of why this movie is awful.
1. Been in development hell since 2014, Disney randomly give it to Andy Samberg and Lonely Island
2. First cut had Pluto as the villain, angry he was treated like a normal dog while Goofy was treated as a person, this version was despised by test audiences so they had to rework the film in the 11th hour, also resulting in the black cop lady getting most of her scenes cut, leaving the movie feeling very disjointed.
3. Peter Pan is the villain and is now old but none of the others having aged, even weirder when one of the Lost Boys appears and hasn't changed at all, never explained
4. '2D'animation looks like bad CGI, but weirdly the background 2D characters look fine, possibly as a result of the reworking
5. Monterey Jack and Gadget are only in a few scenes, it feels like the writers barely knew anything about the show and just skimmed a few Wiki articles.
6. The cliche group fell apart and are now sad, cynical has-beens story with worn out meta humor
7. Inappropriate cameos (a character from fucking Big Mouth appears)
8. Chip and Dale aren't brothers but were kids who met in the 80's despite being around since 1943
9. Gadget ends up with Zipper (who was the team pet) and they fuck hard, cucking Chip
10. Wastes the opportunity of a lifetime to have a massive crossover between Disney, WB, Dreamworks, and others.
11. Feels like a recycled script of an unmade Roger Rabbit sequel, since Dip shows up at one point
2. First cut had Pluto as the villain, angry he was treated like a normal dog while Goofy was treated as a person, this version was despised by test audiences so they had to rework the film in the 11th hour, also resulting in the black cop lady getting most of her scenes cut, leaving the movie feeling very disjointed.
3. Peter Pan is the villain and is now old but none of the others having aged, even weirder when one of the Lost Boys appears and hasn't changed at all, never explained
4. '2D'animation looks like bad CGI, but weirdly the background 2D characters look fine, possibly as a result of the reworking
5. Monterey Jack and Gadget are only in a few scenes, it feels like the writers barely knew anything about the show and just skimmed a few Wiki articles.
6. The cliche group fell apart and are now sad, cynical has-beens story with worn out meta humor
7. Inappropriate cameos (a character from fucking Big Mouth appears)
8. Chip and Dale aren't brothers but were kids who met in the 80's despite being around since 1943
9. Gadget ends up with Zipper (who was the team pet) and they fuck hard, cucking Chip
10. Wastes the opportunity of a lifetime to have a massive crossover between Disney, WB, Dreamworks, and others.
11. Feels like a recycled script of an unmade Roger Rabbit sequel, since Dip shows up at one point
I was angry at first.
I actually had to stop the movie after the "42" were mentioned because I just couldn't take it. Zipper. Fucking Zipper. It could have been anyone else. But no. Zipper. I'm going to come off like a wierdo for saying this but I cried.
I cried for at least 10 minutes but not more than 30 minutes. That would be weird which I'm not. I got back to watching the movie and finished it. The second scene with Zipper didn't bother me so much, until they revealed his real voice. I recognized it but couldn't place it. I searched online. Allstate. Black. A fucking black. A black fucking fly with Gadget.
Gadget was a racemixer. Why do they have to destroy childhoods like this? Gadget with her fly kids.
But then I thought about something I hadn't before.
Birth.
Gadget's a mouse and mice do live births. Flies are maggots when they're babies. A maggot crawled out of Gadget's pink little mousehole.
The idea is crazy but it gets me kind of going.
I can't stop thinking about Gadget screaming in pleasure in her tiny bed as the doctors pull out a thick maggot from her pussy. And she did this willingly (as far as I know) 42 times.
Suddenly the same number which made me cry earlier today gets me going.
42 times.
Is she addicted to maggot?
I feel so ashamed that I feel like this about it but Gadget pushing out those half fly half black voiced fly maggots gets me really hard. I really hope this movie makes people pick up Zipper x Gadget not because I like the ship but because I really need birth pictures I would draw them if I could but Im not good at it. I jacked off three or four times to the thought of her cute nose scrunching up her tail curling and her little fuzzy pussy pushing out those girthy white maggots. God I hope there's art.
I actually had to stop the movie after the "42" were mentioned because I just couldn't take it. Zipper. Fucking Zipper. It could have been anyone else. But no. Zipper. I'm going to come off like a wierdo for saying this but I cried.
I cried for at least 10 minutes but not more than 30 minutes. That would be weird which I'm not. I got back to watching the movie and finished it. The second scene with Zipper didn't bother me so much, until they revealed his real voice. I recognized it but couldn't place it. I searched online. Allstate. Black. A fucking black. A black fucking fly with Gadget.
Gadget was a racemixer. Why do they have to destroy childhoods like this? Gadget with her fly kids.
But then I thought about something I hadn't before.
Birth.
Gadget's a mouse and mice do live births. Flies are maggots when they're babies. A maggot crawled out of Gadget's pink little mousehole.
The idea is crazy but it gets me kind of going.
I can't stop thinking about Gadget screaming in pleasure in her tiny bed as the doctors pull out a thick maggot from her pussy. And she did this willingly (as far as I know) 42 times.
Suddenly the same number which made me cry earlier today gets me going.
42 times.
Is she addicted to maggot?
I feel so ashamed that I feel like this about it but Gadget pushing out those half fly half black voiced fly maggots gets me really hard. I really hope this movie makes people pick up Zipper x Gadget not because I like the ship but because I really need birth pictures I would draw them if I could but Im not good at it. I jacked off three or four times to the thought of her cute nose scrunching up her tail curling and her little fuzzy pussy pushing out those girthy white maggots. God I hope there's art.
Let me explain, Gadget was character that represented the sexual awakening of an entire gneeration, and having her explicitly portratyed as being impregnated by a filthy insect that feeds off excrement with its maggot-vermin abomination offspring is the equivalent of bmwf spam posting on this website. It is in fact Disney's way of imprinting demoralization cuckoldry porn on a already disenfranchised millenials and it is truly and nakedly evil. I will not give a single penny to them and I refuse to watch this learned helplessness conditioning propaganda. Shame on Disney.
Context: apparently the new Halo tv series has a scene where Cortana watches MC fuck a Covenant or something.
