Lolcow one liners you always remember - When your brain frequently blurts out a quote from a cow

[jenna raiding]

“Insane cold open but I have fart fetish.”
“and why does that FUCKING. MATTER?!”
“I’VE HAD A JOB SINCE THURSDAY!”
-Fallenchungus / DatsMojo

 

[Second Alter Ego]

"Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'D FUCK ME. I'D FUCK ME SO HARD" - cwc

 

[Justice Tony]

"That's a fucking lie you dumb hooker" - Cyraxx

To be fair it's probably because of the music that Swamp Dweller plays right after that audio clip at the beginning of every video. It's a banger.

 

[Mage Killer]

Chris "B-Barb, barb made the first move"

Bella "Oooh, wow Barbara!"

 

[Vapid_Idiot]

“He’s simping for me. He’s my simp.” -Alyssa Mercante

 

[PhoBingas]

“Excuse me, sir! Sir, you almost hit me, you made a totally illegal move.”

“Oh my gawwwd, sidewalk!”
-Mobility Mary

OH GREAT!

 

[BunchaBabyDucks]

The ones I think about often because they’re so ingrained in my mind are pretty simple.
“Stop doing sexist shit!!!!!!!”
“I’m WORKIN’ ON IT!”
“My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.”

But my personal favorite is one that I take to heart in many of my creative endeavors.
“An idiot admires complexity, a genius admires simplicity.”

 

[Cherry Milk]

Cobes: "pork chop delight" and "Twu".
NAL: "IM WASHING MY FACCCCCEE!!"
Chris: stress sigh.

 

[pyrogon]

So uhm uhh pretty much like uhm uhh
-efffinraw

 

[Narrowback]

Not technically lolcows but from two of the CwC calls from the Clyde Cash days

"Is your refrigerator running?" and "You gotta respect the ladies, man"

 

[Black Hole Vacation]

"Pass the stuffin, Jeremy." from this old Retsupurae has never left my head since first watching it.
Lots of different Wings-isms like "Real talk", "Oh my lord, dude" and "Look here, look listen!"
"The sign on my ass says exit only" , the named days (Taco Tuesday, Fruitbowl Wednesday, Gay Bath House Thursday) and too many Radio Graffiti splices to name from ghostpolitics

 

[Cruisin' for a Buzin']

"UR BUZING ME!"
-Andrew Ditch

"I'm poopin' myself! I'm poopin' myself!"
-Andrew Ditch

"Boobies! Vaginas! Mmmmhh... Gorgeous."
-Chris-chan

"I recycle my own semen."
-Chris-chan

 

[Ayana Otonashi]

“I had diarrhea… all over the place…”
- Cyraxx

 

[Markass the Worst]

"You Dumb Mother Fucker, I hope you get hit by a car" -- Alan Fisher

 

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

Tony Johns- “I’m a proformer, a solo worker.”

 

[Town Drunk]

I can't recall her name, but it was one of Thunderfoot's SJW haters back in the day.

"you've made your bed, now get fucked in it" An actual brilliant line.

 

[Plantation Barbie]

"Ha ha, We got Cobra eating his vegetables... Ahahaha! Hahaha! EEEEEEAHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH... Like ya'll are fucking retarded dude."

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

FIIIIIIIIIINE HERE'S A FUCKING BATHTUB UPDATE ARE YOU HAPPY?!