Lolcow one liners you always remember - When your brain frequently blurts out a quote from a cow

[Plantation Barbie]

"This is the fucking shower curtain you asshole... Why is it wrapped around the curtain rod, because THE FUCKING CATS DESTROY IT IF I LEAVE IT HANGING DOWN! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! AGAIN, YOU'RE CAUGHT IN A LIE GARY!"

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

“I thought I told these troles to lick my asscrack! I told em!” - KingCobraJFS

 

[NaggotFigger]

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” “BECAUSE NONE OF YOU HAVE LISTENED IN THREE! GODDAMN! YEARS!!! SHUT UP!!!”- Fat Prick Hoglinson

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

"face it, breakfast is ruined" -Irate gamer

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

"On all levels except physical, I am a wolf."

Purely for the amount of jokes this has been spinned into. My favorite favorite variations include:

- "On all levels except physical, I abuse my girlfriend."
- "On all levels except physical, I brush my teeth."
- "On all levels except physical, I wash my ass."

 

[legtard respecter]

not so much phrases but many tics from people like CWC, patrick tomlinson, barneyfag, graeme kelly and donald trump (counts because he had a thread here) often come to mind

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Terry Davis' bird monolog is kind of my own personal Litany Against Fear, and when I'm really stressed or don't know what to do the last two lines especially echo through my soul:

"Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that’s the best you can do."

 

[Adolf Hulkler]

"Im gonna put that dog on the internet as a baby raper"
-Fed Smoker

And literally every single thing terry and francis e declan esq have ever said.

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

“This is mentally retarded niggerology and child molestation. One times one equals nigger!” -John Lasheras

 

[vomitusdeux]

"I have two phones, one for the trolls and one for my home"

 

[clara red bottoms]

you see, he moved his...shovel mech, and he's...lookin' like he's trying to, he's either stokin' it, or he's trying to put it out!

 

[JesusChristDenton]

“This is mentally retarded niggerology and child molestation. One times one equals nigger!” -John Lasheras

"EXCUSE ME! RESPECT ME!"
"You wanna take a look at my big cock while I'm taking a piss? YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!"
"I DO NOT CONSENT TO GO TO ANY PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTION!"

 

[Giga Troll]

"THIS DUDE DID A TEN HIT COMBO, THIS DUDE'S DOING STRINGS!" - Lowtiergod
"You must answer, is this niggerlicious, or is this divine intellect?" - Terry Davis
"I'm sorry Daddy Keemstar." - boogie2988

 

[Tablet County]

"Basically um uh... Sorry I'm with autism."

 

[Jarl Varg]

"Proof that I draw my own art!" - Emily Cassidy

 

[Kiwisee]

“Excuse me, sir! Sir, you almost hit me, you made a totally illegal move.”

“Oh my gawwwd, sidewalk!”
-Mobility Mary

 

[Suburban Bastard]

“8 to 25 range” - Tooter

 

[vomitusdeux]

I AM A WOMAN I DO NOT HAVE A STINKDITCH - Colton Lochmann

 

[Watt_watt]

"I'll never forgive the troglodytes who stole my future I EARNED to prolong their worthless existence" - Bob chipman

 

[Book Thief]

"Fuck you, Ghost Games, you dumb fucking ass cuck fucking pieces of fucking shit, you guys couldn't make a fucking video game if someone handed you a completed one!" -DarksydePhil.

"You laggin'? What's the matter, your momma turn on the Crisco?" -LowtierGod

"I like elephants, and God likes elephants." -Terry Davis

"But the climactic reveal of SMB3 is burned - no, seared - into my memory the way JFK’s assassination was for my parents’ generation... or the way 9/11 would be for mine a scant 12 years from then…" -MovieBob Chipman