🤝 Community Lolitas - 1000% more backstabbing than you'd expect.

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I have a chick on my fb who into this stuff and it was super weird when she started posting it. Her and her friends have huge comment chains over this shit

When i can be fucked I'll see if shes in this thread because she argues like she might belong here. Weird fetish.
 
dorkbeast said:
I've actually heard of lolita sometimes being referred to as an ugly or fat girl fashion (in Japan).
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I've heard that too, but all of the lolitas I've met around Tokyo are average looking. Most of the "attractive" lolitas left the fashion for girly/larme styles (think Ank Rouge, Bubbles, etc).
 
DarkSoulsPhil said:
I have a chick on my fb who into this stuff and it was super weird when she started posting it. Her and her friends have huge comment chains over this shit
When i can be fucked I'll see if shes in this thread because she argues like she might belong here. Weird fetish.
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I don't think anyone in particular is in this thread? Even though lolitards like to talk themselves up as being e-famous or having ~clout~ the sad reality is mass exodus to facebook made lolita communities even more insular and segregated, and virtually no one knows details of any drama in the individual local communities, just that "there was drama". On top of that, lolitards tend to have a strange group memory in that they selectively remember a past event or remember something completely different to how things went down. They're really easy to whip up and foment into bullshit vendetta armies but generally don't put any thought process into it so they disperse just as quickly, and then deny it all happened.

Also, just so you know, they hate it when fetish gets mixed up in lolita. Several people have been banned from coming to meets because they played out their DD/LG fetish during the meets. One of the older admins of egl livejournal, missmeganmaude, basically got ousted out of embarrassment because it was discovered that she had a diaper baby alt persona named "konessa koneko" and photos of her posing in the diaper fetish shoots got leaked.

Pai said:
I've heard that too, but all of the lolitas I've met around Tokyo are average looking. Most of the "attractive" lolitas left the fashion for girly/larme styles (think Ank Rouge, Bubbles, etc).
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Honestly, the heyday of lolita came and went with visual kei. A lot of the Japanese brands are surviving through their Shanghai store and/or the Chinese lolita fandom. It doesn't help that lolita tried to have its own quite #metoo movement that everyone proceeded to ignore because everyone considered it irrelevant to the overseas market (i.e. themselves).
 
Popoto said:
So something that happened in the little hell hole that is Australia needs mentioning here.

For background, you have to be aware of Deerstalker Pictures, a two-bit venture run by Vysanthe/Goldie Soetiento and Elliot Owen Charles Ryan. They used to be small-time famous in lolita communities for doing fashion shoots for Haenuli, a korean indie brand that is banned from selling in Korea because their owner would ask/beg for lolita goods as gifts/prices at mates'rates, then flip them in the overseas market.

For a while, they dickrode Milkyfawn/Alannah May McDonald. By the way, as can be seen from the fact that the last blog post was in fucking 2014, yes, Milkyfawn quit. Milkyfawn quit for many reasons which she generally says "was her own decision and she is much more into otome", but people agree it began after they got her to act like a brat in filming the infamous AP unboxing videos, and proceeded to leave her high and dry to suck the teats of the outrage click shekels. Look at them repost this shit in a Deerstalker Pictures 2 account. As soon as Milkyfawn quit lolita, she was dropped like a hot potato. Not that you can tell, considering they're still uploading old videos of her.

All the people in their videos and photoshoots are not compensated for their time, kind of being paid by internet fame and "exposure" - which is pretty much every indie smalltime people with a camera really. Yet they have somehow turned this around into wielding power within every lolita community they happen to shack up with, by scheduling their film shoot days that curiously coincide with publicly announced meets. People who are secretly invited to these shoots tend to excuse themselves from the publicly announced meet, one by one, until only 2-3 people turn up on the day of the meet.

All this drivel is somewhat relevant in that when they moved from Brisbane to Sydney, Bakames/Kylie Joy Martin followed them. They lived together for a while, then Kylie moved out to live with her boyfriend at the time, Branko. There was some minor drama about this because Branko apparently used to date someone else in the lolita/friendship circle before dating Kylie. Around mid 2017, Kylie moved from Sydney to Melbourne, ostensibly to pursue a degree in Psychology. In the process, she broke up with Branko. As can be seen from the fact that her facebook page is now set as a memorial page, Kylie passed away by suicide a month and a bit ago. I think Kylie's family caught on to exactly what kind of bullshit Kylie faced in life, and restricted the funeral to family and close friends only: i.e. Branko, Goldie and Elliot et.al were not welcome at this funeral.

So! clearly the thing you should do upon being turned away from your friend's funeral because you are a shit person is?

Hold a fucking lolita picnic in a park "in her memory", apparently.
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I do not think these people are self-aware enough to figure out:

1. Had this bullshit picnic happened during Kylie's lifetime and while she lived locally, they would probably not have invited her.
2. It is extremely tasteless to globally out yourself as being excluded from someone's funeral for being a shitty friend during their lifetime.
3. Half the people listed in the photo are not close personal friends of Kylie, who was a very private, standoffish person in life. They're literally just there because this is an exclusive lolita meet.

Lolitas: streakmarks on the frilly bloomers of humanity.
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Oh I remember those names, I had some friends on facebook from Australia that would tell me about the drama, because thats my favorite thing to hear about, they virtually called Vysanthe the Queen Bee of the Australian Lolita group. The few times they went to random meetups they told me everyone seemed like a female incel, except instead of just hating men, they hated the other girls too, but didn't tell it to their faces.

They didn't really want to talk about anything but burando and co-ords, then there would be awkward silence til someone decided to bring up the latest dress that was coming out. They decided never to go again after the girls all got drunk as hell and were so thirsty they were literally trying to rip Vysanthes boyfriends pants off him, which she thought was hilarious, and encouraged.
 
Medicated said:
Oh I remember those names, I had some friends on facebook from Australia that would tell me about the drama, because thats my favorite thing to hear about, they virtually called Vysanthe the Queen Bee of the Australian Lolita group. The few times they went to random meetups they told me everyone seemed like a female incel, except instead of just hating men, they hated the other girls too, but didn't tell it to their faces.

They didn't really want to talk about anything but burando and co-ords, then there would be awkward silence til someone decided to bring up the latest dress that was coming out. They decided never to go again after the girls all got drunk as hell and were so thirsty they were literally trying to rip Vysanthes boyfriends pants off him, which she thought was hilarious, and encouraged.
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This has been my experience with random brushes with these people...the few attractive lolitas are few and far between and the rest are large girls trying to cover up their largeness with frills, plain girls trying to look sweet and feminine with all the embellishments, and a general mishmash of people spending their money unwisely to feel accepted by the clique.

These women don’t hate everyone so much as they hate themselves and wish they could change. For every normal, well adjusted girl in their midst, there are thirty more who got teased for their looks in grammar school and want to feel pretty and popular within a subset. It’s a cute and innocent fashion by itself, but it’s a fashion that attracts a lot of people looking to overcompensate for how they feel about their looks.

Again, there ARE normal people there who like the fashion, but they’re the ones who outgrow it quickly and don’t go nutters buying BURANDO to feel popular and validated.
 
AbraCadaver said:
This has been my experience with random brushes with these people...the few attractive lolitas are few and far between and the rest are large girls trying to cover up their largeness with frills, plain girls trying to look sweet and feminine with all the embellishments, and a general mishmash of people spending their money unwisely to feel accepted by the clique.

These women don’t hate everyone so much as they hate themselves and wish they could change. For every normal, well adjusted girl in their midst, there are thirty more who got teased for their looks in grammar school and want to feel pretty and popular within a subset. It’s a cute and innocent fashion by itself, but it’s a fashion that attracts a lot of people looking to overcompensate for how they feel about their looks.

Again, there ARE normal people there who like the fashion, but they’re the ones who outgrow it quickly and don’t go nutters buying BURANDO to feel popular and validated.
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Basically these girls who got teased created their own clique so they can play out their fantasies of Mean Girls. A local girl I know who was very into lolita always tried setting up meet ups and tea parties, but after a few attempts people basically ostracized her because she couldn't stop acting catty towards everyone. And it wasn't like she was necessarily good at coordinating. She would waste all her money on the dress then accessorize with shit from Hot Topic or Claire's. But everyone else was the "ita."
 
AbraCadaver said:
These women don’t hate everyone so much as they hate themselves and wish they could change. For every normal, well adjusted girl in their midst, there are thirty more who got teased for their looks in grammar school and want to feel pretty and popular within a subset. It’s a cute and innocent fashion by itself, but it’s a fashion that attracts a lot of people looking to overcompensate for how they feel about their looks.
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You bring up an interesting point I just thought about from years ago when I attended. Almost every girl there came from a well to do family, almost every girl went to an all girls school, almost every girl that went to the all girls school got bullied relentlessly. Then for some reason, many later also became feminists. Which doesn't make real sense, since its the other girls is what destroyed their self esteem earlier in their life.

Body types ran the gamut, from mannish looking girls, petite, to so curvy or volumptuous they needed dress alterations. But one thing always seemed to be a common theme, expensive all girls schools, and bullying in their younger years. Especially with the long term members.
 
LoveYouLongTime said:
Basically these girls who got teased created their own clique so they can play out their fantasies of Mean Girls. A local girl I know who was very into lolita always tried setting up meet ups and tea parties, but after a few attempts people basically ostracized her because she couldn't stop acting catty towards everyone. And it wasn't like she was necessarily good at coordinating. She would waste all her money on the dress then accessorize with shit from Hot Topic or Claire's. But everyone else was the "ita."
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Pretty much. In any of these nerd clubs that gather in ostracized people, they emphasize being accepting and bonding together in their shared love of something “nerdy” that others have teased them for/wouldn’t understand.

And then they end up being twice as shitty to their own members and establishing a ruthless hierarchy. As soon as they feel comfortable and accepted in the new group, they start their ladder climbing like anyone else. It’s human nature.

Lolitas are especially shitty cuz they’re subconsciously trying to live their school years over again, but this time they’re the pretty girls at the top and someone else is the awkward loser. They’re the ones who can be catty wih impunity and revel in the turnabout of their fortunes, as if they’re getting revenge on the demon mean girls of their past, instead of just kicking some hapless new girl who can’t afford the newest overpriced frock. It’s so hypocritical.

Medicated said:
You bring up an interesting point I just thought about from years ago when I attended. Almost every girl there came from a well to do family, almost every girl went to an all girls school, almost every girl that went to the all girls school got bullied relentlessly. Then for some reason, many later also became feminists. Which doesn't make real sense, since its the other girls is what destroyed their self esteem earlier in their life.

Body types ran the gamut, from mannish looking girls, petite, to so curvy or volumptuous they needed dress alterations. But one thing always seemed to be a common theme, expensive all girls schools, and bullying in their younger years. Especially with the long term members.
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I think it makes perfect sense...they were used to an all girls school and setting and girls being the leaders of clubs, etc. then they get out to the bigger world and get told women cant do shit like be leaders and have to take a backseat, and it makes no sense and they want it to change.

You wonder why someone who was bullied by girls would want to be a feminist. But that woman is a woman herself and wants equality like anyone else. Being bullied by other girls doesn’t mean you automatically should want women, and yourself, to still be treated as second class by the rest of the world.

But yes, welcome to the all-girls school. A boys school establishes its hierarchy through fights and physical domination. Girls schools set the pecking order with relentless teasing and bullying. All humans seek to create and then dominate a social ladder.
 
AbraCadaver said:
I think it makes perfect sense...they were used to an all girls school and setting and girls being the leaders of clubs, etc. then they get out to the bigger world and get told women cant do shit like be leaders and have to take a backseat, and it makes no sense and they want it to change.
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This isn't 1930. In the western world, legally, women have every right a man has. Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, Hillary Clinton, Oprah is one of the richest people in the world. Are you going to tell Hillary Clinton her getting Secretary of State, and into the Presidential running was just a fluke, she didn't really earn it?

Just because men exist outside of an all girls school, doesn't mean they are trying to oppress them. But I should really stop, this isn't the thread for this.
 
Medicated said:
This isn't 1930. In the western world, legally, women have every right a man has. Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, Hillary Clinton, Oprah is one of the richest people in the world. Are you going to tell Hillary Clinton her getting Secretary of State, and into the Presidential running was just a fluke, she didn't really earn it?

Just because men exist outside of an all girls school, doesn't mean they are trying to oppress them. But I should really stop, this isn't the thread for this.
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I’m not saying this is what I believe, I’m saying this may be what they believe. Also they may be global feminists who don’t like the way women are currently treated outside of the western world.

The point is, someone being bullied by fellow girls as a child shouldn’t elicit shock as an adult when they become feminists.

But the real point here is that you’re nothing at all if you’re not wearing the right BTSSB stockings to our next mall meetup, you big gross ita.
 
AbraCadaver said:
I’m not saying this is what I believe, I’m saying this may be what they believe. Also they may be global feminists who don’t like the way women are currently treated outside of the western world.

The point is, someone being bullied by fellow girls as a child shouldn’t elicit shock as an adult when they become feminists.

But the real point here is that you’re nothing at all if you’re not wearing the right BTSSB stockings to our next mall meetup, you big gross ita.
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pfft I'm going with Metamorphose
 
I know a lot of the local community and they're all pretty cool in my area. Reasonable and well-adjusted for people who spend $400 on dresses to impress niche fashionistas. I actually thought years ago they would be a lot meaner/uglier than they turned out to be. That said...

As mentioned above, girls who get into shit like lolita, cool as it is, have an above average chance of being bookish bullied types way too fond of shit like Beauty & the Beast. But that also tends to make a lot of them paranoid, nervous, and non-confrontational.

So the drama, mostly confined to the smallest levels in my experience, really is hard to dig up. The types doing modeling at big east coast cons and shit are mostly cute/friendly. Your average lolita is the average woman because that's what the word implies. The majority of all woman are average by definition, I guess.

It's unfortunate because I bet there's some awkward, funny ass shit buried beneath all the cutesy uwu.
 
Medicated said:
Oh I remember those names, I had some friends on facebook from Australia that would tell me about the drama, because thats my favorite thing to hear about, they virtually called Vysanthe the Queen Bee of the Australian Lolita group. The few times they went to random meetups they told me everyone seemed like a female incel, except instead of just hating men, they hated the other girls too, but didn't tell it to their faces.

They didn't really want to talk about anything but burando and co-ords, then there would be awkward silence til someone decided to bring up the latest dress that was coming out. They decided never to go again after the girls all got drunk as hell and were so thirsty they were literally trying to rip Vysanthes boyfriends pants off him, which she thought was hilarious, and encouraged.
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Without going into anything that would involve outing myself, I can confirm that Goldie and Elliot are garbage people, and the particular group of people they surround themselves with for the purposes of free model releases are also garbage. It eventuates that none of these people are active in lolita (attend public meetups, buy or sell actively, wear the fashion and so on and so forth) but they like to think they have clout, and start spreading toxicity by creating their exclusive meets (which are just meets, and yes they hate each other if you ask them individually but won't say it to the other peoples' faces!) with every excuse under the sun along the lines of "but it's just a gathering between friends". By the sounds of it your friends do not seem to be actually "in" with Goldie and Elliot's crowd. The moment they left or the moment they stopped getting invited to something they do, they'd shittalk you. So all these people religiously attend those meets, talk nothing, and boycott the public meet that actually is also held on the same day or thereabouts in the process.

One of the things lolitas in Australia like to do this is attend a weeaboo nightclub event that is held across major Australian citiies (except now Perth, ha!) called Neko Nation. The lolitas have somehow co-opted it into an "we purposefully dress ita!" event and hold their own exclusive meetups around it. The female half of the couple who run Neko Nation (it's technically the guy's property, the girl only helps it along) is a bit crazy, and also wishes to be a lolita but isn't? Anyway, she gets into very public fights just about anything under the sun with random lolitas and proceed to blacklist them from the city's Neko Nation event(s). This group of people think it's extremely funny to add lolitas they do not like to the blacklist by making shit up about them in front of the girl.
 
Wow Vysanthe don't look so great. At least shes body confident I suppose.

685723
 
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Gdi the first 15 pages of this thread are almost completely cancer. Necroing this thread because I am not in the community but I want some crazy frilly lolitacows please?
 
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