Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

we haven’t talked in years so it’s probably a bad idea to be forward about it

You haven't talked in years = you aren't really friends anymore = you have nothing to lose.

You can just copy paste the warning label from the professional interface of drugs dot com and say "I know it's not what you want to hear, but I feel responsible to make sure you know what you're getting into." She isn't going to be worth keeping as a friend as she is. You might as well go down with the friendship and put the info out there for her to see.

And then if she does change her mind, she will know one terrible terf based friend she can turn to when everyone else shuns her.

 

[On a Journey]

You haven't talked in years = you aren't really friends anymore = you have nothing to lose.

You can just copy paste the warning label from the professional interface of drugs dot com and say "I know it's not what you want to hear, but I feel responsible to make sure you know what you're getting into." She isn't going to be worth keeping as a friend as she is. You might as well go down with the friendship and put the info out there for her to see.

And then if she does change her mind, she will know one terrible terf based friend she can turn to when everyone else shuns her.

I guess that’s a good way to look at it.

Since I was thinking about this stuff, I checked the Instagram bios of my two closest high school friends and they’re BOTH they/thems (I can’t say I’m terribly surprised because these two ran our school’s GSA). This is a fucking plague. I have Asperger’s and have always been the quirky misfit type, so that’s the kind of people I attract, and those people tend to be particularly susceptible to this. I honestly can’t think of one good friend from my teenage years who isn’t caught up in this nonsense. It’s my brother (he isn’t much younger than me so we were pretty close), my best childhood friend, my closest high school friends, even my old internet buddies are all TiFs of some kind. I hate being a zoomer.

 

[Islamic Jihad Rocket]

Been following this thread for a bit, so I figured I’d share maybe a thing or two since I’ve had my fair run ins with losing people I once considered friends due to troonism, I should note I no longer have contact with these people and honestly it’s probably for the best.

One I can think of was this girl I knew several years ago online (we can say, as far back as I can remember like…2014/2015ish?), she was as far as I can remember; into things like Pokémon, MLP, Homestuck. Whatever during those years was trendy, we became friends over a shared interest of Pokémon and for the most part kept contact and occasionally talking. Over time I started to notice some things being off, like the use of pronouns in her bio and some other bullshit. At the time I was still pretty young and didn’t get that nonsense so I shrugged it off, it wasn’t until sometime after that she started going by they/them and a bit after that I stopped talking to her since I had new and better friends at the time. Come to see years later that she than started going by he/him which pretty much means she probably trooned out. It’s sad, this kinda shit infects the mind of young people and then they make choices like this. I haven’t seen or checked up on her in years but I’d assume nothing had changed.

The second one isn’t a case of someone trooning out, but someone who was almost like a bro to me dating a troon, if this counts. This same ex-friend comes from the same time period, about 2014/2015ish. Me, him and another friend were like brothers in a sense. All quite based and having similar thought processes, it was through them I started to become a bit more critical of things and, open my eyes to all the ideological bullshit that had corrupted my other friends at the time. Through the years I kept in contact with the one friend until some drama happened that split us all up. After that kept on contact with one friend, but not this one; over the years I hadn’t realized that someone so based would eventually be consumed by leftism (which I’d assume was probably due to going to collage or where he lived which was Washington/California? I forget since it’s been so long lol), which I learned from the one friend I kept in contact with that one peek at his Twitter indicates he started dating a troon, which coming from someone who years ago who used to be so based, reduced to this; really feels like the ultimate betrayal. In a sense, I’m glad I stopped talked to him because learning that just; didn’t feel the same. It isn’t as bad as someone trooning out, but the fact that someone can accept and date one of these mentally ill freaks really puzzles me.

I’m glad this thread exists, and it’s definitely telling with how many come forward with their experiences and it’s a definite hit in the feels.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Homestuck

THAT'S HOW IT STARTS

 

[Slurm Queen]

I’ve read this thread for years, but I never anticipated that I’d be posting on it. My brother, who has been my best friend for basically my entire adult life, recently told the family he’s trans. He’s in his late 20s and has had depression and anxiety for a long time, but all of us kids have and it runs in the family. He’s always been pretty based so we were all shocked. His entire coming out message was a mix of textbook trans dogma and warped Christian rationale on why God would be ok with him transitioning.

After I got his initial text, my family members called me sobbing and racked with anxiety and guilt because he had apparently insinuated that he’d be committing suicide. I sent him a pretty clinical message telling him to cut the emotionally manipulative bullshit and to be honest with the family. Now he says he’ll never forgive me and we haven’t spoken since.

The whole family got together and compared notes because everyone got a different story. From what it sounds like, he truly does have some sort of dysphoria, with states of disassociation, and he’s just given into the trans narrative as a cure all. Apparently he’s already been on HRT for months and even went so far as to freeze his sperm. He has a few mentally ill female friends/handmaidens that have been helping him in secret.

My parents are boomers and have been sending him all sorts of questions, trying to understand and research what any of this means. They asked him to “pause” HRT and do family counseling and he responded with a dramatic text about how asking him to do so was like running “a stake through his core.” So he’s unwilling to consider any kind of talk therapy or group counseling at all — he wants total submission and affirmation, and he wants it immediately. He shoots down any research my parents present him with as transphobic or biased so there’s no way of getting to him through any kind of data-driven means. I have spent the last week trying to explain to my parents that it’s like trying to convince a shizo that the voices aren’t real — his capacity for reason has long since been lost.

Personally, I think we should all consider him gone and start the mourning process now, because even if he doesn’t 41% himself, the trans ideaology will consume him until there’s nothing left of his original personality. Everyone says I’m being too much of a doomer and that I need to have hope. I guess I’m posting here to see what anyone thinks — is there hope? He’s already wacked out on HRT and SSRIs, he’s a binge drinker, and his only friends are alcoholic liberal handmaidens who are applauding and affirming him. To me it just seems bleak. I don’t know if there’s any way to get through to him or if it’s worth sending him some kind of “goodbye” letter with my thoughts on the whole thing. Is there really any way to wake him up? And even if we could, how are we supposed to find a therapist who wouldn’t immediately write us off as transphobic haters?

Is it worth sending him one last message telling him the harsh truth but also telling him I love him and would gladly help him if he ever wanted to come back? Or is it just a waste of time?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Is it worth sending him one last message telling him the harsh truth but also telling him I love him and would gladly help him if he ever wanted to come back? Or is it just a waste of time?

Sadly I think once someone is that deep into the troon cults way of thinking all you can do is be brutally honest with him, even if he won't listen right now, and let him know that you won't play along with troon bullshit but will be there for him if he comes to his senses.
Uncomfortable truths aren't as valuable to the troon as the asspats and "validation" bullshit they get from their cult.
It's a fucked up thing to happen, for what its worth I'm sorry this is happening to your people.

 

[NoReturn]

Is it worth sending him one last message telling him the harsh truth but also telling him I love him and would gladly help him if he ever wanted to come back? Or is it just a waste of time?

When someone is in a cult, messages like just reinforce their beliefs in the moment. It plays in to the whole "everyone is against us! We're persecuted!" mentality.
That said, it may still be worth it, because then you're at least planting a seed of doubt.

 

[Ghostie with the Mostie]

There's been another development with my boyfriend's brother's troon partner (F2M, also pretends to be a toddler (claims DID) and a dog). I've said on here before my OH's parents are reluctant to say anything bad about troon so as not to push their son away, and to be accepting. Well, I received a text in a groupchat me and my partner have with his parent from his dad, saying 'add me to the list of people who hates (troon)'.

I asked what had happened, and basically what went down is troon posted vids of my OH's brother smoking weed on social media tagging him with his full name, and all troons platforms are mega public. Doesn't seem like a big deal? Well in the UK weed is illegal. Still wouldn't be a big deal except my OH's brother is awaiting his visa as he's going to a US university soon.

The video would have been seen by many people and it could jeopardize his application. As well as this, they're trying to minimise troons online presence with the boy as they don't want the visa people to assume it's a green card deal and he'll never leave.

Anyways, my in laws were furious and asked troon to take it down. Troon just blocked the parents and left it up. I know it isn't the biggest transgression ever BUT they're finally starting to see how manipulative and toxic troon is. It feels like a relief almost as myself and my boyfriend have been warning the family about the troon to no avail, but now they're starting to see them as they really are.

My boyfriend's brother is sadly still estranged from my OH, and is now becoming increasingly estrange from the rest of his family. Won't leave his room, ALWAYS facetiming troon even to fall asleep together and at dinner. It's a mess. The parents have strongly hinted too they can't wait for their own son to move away, which is sad. They have also said troon isn't allowed back in their house, but that remains to be seen if they follow that through.

I hate the troon's guts. What they're doing is vile and if it didn't dox my boyfriend's family, and by association me, you'd bet they'd be on the tranny sideshows thread.

 

[NerdShamer]

and basically what went down is troon posted vids of my OH's brother smoking weed on social media tagging him with his full name, and all troons platforms are mega public. Doesn't seem like a big deal? Well in the UK weed is illegal. Still wouldn't be a big deal except my OH's brother is awaiting his visa as he's going to a US university soon.

12 years and people still haven't learned anything

I hate the troon's guts. What they're doing is vile and if it didn't dox my boyfriend's family, and by association me, you'd bet they'd be on the tranny sideshows thread

But seriously, this faggot doesn't care what he's doing and he'll gladly throw you under the bus as soon as you get involved.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

My boyfriend's brother is sadly still estranged from my OH, and is now becoming increasingly estrange from the rest of his family. Won't leave his room, ALWAYS facetiming troon even to fall asleep together and at dinner. It's a mess. The parents have strongly hinted too they can't wait for their own son to move away, which is sad. They have also said troon isn't allowed back in their house, but that remains to be seen if they follow that through.

This is first gf syndrome, Ive seen it multiple times. Its the "my only one" manipulative trap which men tend to fall into cause they have low self esteem and they want to cling on to any relationship opportunity they can cause they think theyre lucky to have got it. It doesnt help when theres a degree of manipulation from the gfs end. Reform the guy and the stuff will get resolved on its own.

Is it worth sending him one last message telling him the harsh truth but also telling him I love him and would gladly help him if he ever wanted to come back? Or is it just a waste of time?

Troons dont consider parental or familial love as love cause they all want to be in the fucking commune having orgies. Its mostly a shot in the dark if the person isnt partially sane themselves, cause there are troons who realize they are troons and are very sane, those people can be reasoned with even if theyre going to disagree. The others are in a cult and are incapable of rational independent thought, theyre going to see any attempt by family to get them away as an attempt by the family to "destroy their happiness and freedom" or in this case "identity" whatever the nebulous fuck that is. Especially with parents and siblings, basically all family troons will always demand unconditional love when in such a situation it will not apply as they get increasingly degenerate. Sure it might break your familys hearts that the guys become this but unconditional love and salvaging the relationship is not worth the list of requirements/demands the troon will pose to the family.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Especially with parents and siblings, basically all family troons will always demand unconditional love when in such a situation it will not apply as they get increasingly degenerate. Sure it might break your familys hearts that the guys become this but unconditional love and salvaging the relationship is not worth the list of requirements/demands the troon will pose to the family.

I would love to see a comparison of how troons, especially still-at-home troons, are coddled and bowed to--versus the tales of abuse they're telling everyone on Discord and Twitter. It's really easy to accidentally believe that a friend-of-a-friend has it bad at their house, when all you hear is their side. It's worse when everyone in a chat is engaged in this game of making their home life sound awful and doing the yes-and for their friends' stories too.

It would be just like those lineups of anime avatar/hideous IRL visage, but it might help a few more moms peak. Moms love medium-length gossip articles.

There was a good piece of advice from Loveline, back in the day. Yes, I'm old and the hosts went on to suck. Teenagers would have plans to tell their parents they were gay/bi/atheist, and Adam would ask them why they wanted to do that; to create more chaos? "Shut up, keep your head down, stay out of the house doing extracurriculars and then go far away to college."

But being gay is something inherent, and thus something you can STFU about but still know to be true. The first requirement of troonery is to loudly proclaim it and receive special treatment and/or "abuse" that can be used to get asspats.

 

[Am I Very Wrong]

THAT'S HOW IT STARTS

i think that's exactly when someone i know started becoming weird. i think homestuck was the first thing she became obsessed with in her early teens, followed by undertale and stuff like that

this isn't the first time i read about this on the farms, so i wonder what's wrong with homestuck that makes kids want to take hormone injections?

 

[Aunt Carol]

We've touched on Homestuck in this thread before. One theory:

2010-2015 was the peak years of homestuck, enabled by sites like tumblr and twitter, so people on the Homestuck bandwagon fell into the other bandwagon of gender things.

 

[Baraadmirer]

It's really easy to accidentally believe that a friend-of-a-friend has it bad at their house, when all you hear is their side.

Now that you mention it...

If you know me I've sperged in the "when did you hit peak trans" thread about my trans friend who committed suicide. She* told me about how her family was transphobic, especially how her brother refuses to acknowledge the gender change. Despite this, I've met her parents who come into work occasionally and they seem to be nice folk.

---

*Yes, I'm aware I'm enabling the delusion. That's how I've known her since the day we first met, and it feels weird even now using pronouns that are linked to the actual sex.

 

[Mister Mint]

My friend recently came out as "non-binary"
He's a forty-five fucking year old man. And you bet your ass he gave himself some gay ouija board witchcraft stock name to go with it.

 

[Slurm Queen]

When someone is in a cult, messages like just reinforce their beliefs in the moment. It plays in to the whole "everyone is against us! We're persecuted!" mentality.
That said, it may still be worth it, because then you're at least planting a seed of doubt.

You’re right. And funny enough, the only relatable support groups we have found are the ones for families who lose their kids to Scientology, etc. so we should probably look into their coping tactics.

Sparking any tiny sense of doubt is really the only reason I can think of to write to him one last time… it seems like a pointless gamble but I also have nothing left to lose. I know he’ll never be the same. I think I have to get through some of the anger and grief before I can really articulate how I feel. The hatred I have for this perverted cult and its members is still white hot right now.

 

[AMHOLIO]

We've touched on Homestuck in this thread before. One theory:

My guess is that homestuck was a webcomic that updated so frequently and was so popular, people into it had developed a fear of missing out in their friend groups. Everyone yelling "THE UPDATE" and fans trying to squirm leaks out from the site as soon as possible isn't an easy atmosphere. They were also seen as obnoxious (deserved or not) by other users due to how frequently the fandom would post (in addition to it's seemingly inescapable large nature) and created an us versus them mentality, making them more defensive. I could see this having an effect on the youth of that generation. Fandoms in general that are larger tend to do this, but homestuck was a webcomic (so normies weren't talking about it like Sherlock or Supernatural) filled with bright colorful characters and goofy jokes with a crazy plot, something that appeals more to the "neurodivergent" crowd.

I wonder if say MLP had a similar effect. Only sane MLP fans I've met were women who grew up in that timeframe, the original target audience.

My friend recently came out as "non-binary"
He's a forty-five fucking year old man. And you bet your ass he gave himself some gay ouija board witchcraft stock name to go with it.

As soon as I read "45 year old" I slapped that luancy sticker down. The worse version of midlife crisis to date.

 

[NoReturn]

I wonder if say MLP had a similar effect. Only sane MLP fans I've met were women who grew up in that timeframe, the original target audience.

It's a bit complicated.
The Homestucks went on to be pooners and stuff, that's pretty clear, but the MLP fans had these weird subdivisions between the autists, left-bronies, and right-bronies. There's obvious a Venn diagram in there somewhere, but it's why Homestuck fans seem "aligned" while the MLP people did shit like this:

But also this:

 

[NerdShamer]

but the MLP fans had these weird subdivisions between the autists, left-bronies, and right-bronies.

As far as I can tell, it's the same joke behind the Nazi-furs. Except that the autism is more concentrated with MLP, cuz, you know, color-coded characters and shit

 

[behindyourightnow]

Extremely masculine acquaintance in his 30s (square-jawed, built like a lumberjack, has a young child) last month announced he had started estrogen.

I had not seen his socials for a while, and went to look out of curiosity after I saw the announcement. For the last six months (at least) he has been posting increasingly strange borderline-explicit photos of himself (although strangely not in women's clothing, or not yet anyway). I wonder how much of the troon spiral is just caused by falling in deep with the wrong crowd and not realizing how abnormal your behavior is gradually becoming. Particularly since genderists do nothing but validate each other no matter how strange or self-destructive the behavior.

The strangest part was that his announcement and follow up posts got very little engagement or congratulations even though he has (had?) a normal amount of friends and we both run in liberal circles. I doubt that everyone has secretly peaked, it's more likely that his recent behavior makes people uncomfortable so they are choosing to ignore him rather than think too deeply about what transgenderism means in heterosexual men.