Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Sealbaby]

If it was ever discovered that things like homosexuality and transgenderism were caused by sexual abuse as a child or mental illness

It's already pretty much an open scientific secret they're correlated with childhood abuse and autism.

these people would have to come to terms that they're damaged and it's not an identity

I think many of us non-straight people already know we're damaged. The lie that we're not is just for the public in order to save face, not get accused of being self-pitying, protect our families' feelings, and get one over the kinds of people who abused us.

 

[YourFriendlyLurker]

With women I think it's different

My theory is that with women trans culture at least partially originates from slashy fandoms. I don't have any statistics of course, but I'm kinda sure that 90% of FtMs started as fujoshis (I read this thread and many mention this issue too). Hetero romance has always been an important for girls, they can be cringey and totally old-fashioned but they serve as role-models. M/M shipping was not very popular in 1990-s but saw great raise with the raise of Internet in 2000-s and continiues growing. Imagine a teen girl simping over two imaginable males for years, with time it becomes a fetish. I saw girls who openly said that they can't enjoy hetero stories, because they needed it to be 2 males. The second step of that development is to factually become a male and enter the gay relationships she dreamed about. Of course the reality is a bit different as we can see on the related threads on KF lol.

PS it's not an anti-slash take by any means, everyone can jerk off to anything he/she likes, but the tendency I obesrved over years. The sheer amout of fujoshi slowly evolving into they/them and finally trooning out makes one think. Also, I think there is similar pattern with males and yuri / lesbian porn.

 

[Leeroy]

Hopefully I don't powerlevel too much, but I got a close trans friend who was thinking of transitioning for the past few years and started taking HRT a couple months ago. I'm afraid he'll become a troon or kill himself/ruin his life. The big problem with his transition, though, is he's masculine as fuck and there is no damn way he'll pass regardless of what he does. I dunno if he knows this, or if he doesn't, what'll happen once he finds out. I seriously don't want anything bad to happen, especially cause he has mental illness and very bad coping skills. He's still my friend through all this, y'know?

Then there's the other problem, all my friends are very supportive of this. While I'm ok with it (or at least don't say my true opinions, so everyone thinks I go along perfectly fine), one of my friends got a bit snooty at another for accidentally misgendering him, then backtracked and said she 'wasn't angry'. That shit pisses me off, people are gonna make mistakes and railing on them for that can and will make the problem worse. Case in point, I'm talking about it here.

I've known the dude since middle school, but both my memory and ability to form new habits are literal garbage, so I'm inevitably gonna misgender him or call him by the wrong name by accident, and I doubt it'll go well with my friend group. Trying to talk him out of this would likely, at best, get me kicked out of their group, and at worst could make my friend's poor mental state even worse.

I'm just sorta afraid of what'll happen when I eventually slip up, his body is very masculine so I gotta think about every single word I say before I speak instead of letting the words out naturally (especially cause I call everyone I know dude or guy regardless of gender), and replace 'him' with 'her' and one name with another every time I speak to him. It's just so damn tiring. I want this to end happily, but I know that'll never happen.

 

[NerdShamer]

I'm just sorta afraid of what'll happen when I eventually slip up, his body is very masculine so I gotta think about every single word I say before I speak instead of letting the words out naturally (especially cause I call everyone I know dude or guy regardless of gender), and replace 'him' with 'her' and one name with another every time I speak to him. It's just so damn tiring.

Be ready to get a new friend group?


Sure, it's mean and the next one will probably have trannies somewhere down the line. But it's important to remember that you are under no obligation to hang out with him if you're feeling uncomfortable about it.

 

[Kiislova]

Hopefully I don't powerlevel too much, but I got a close trans friend who was thinking of transitioning for the past few years and started taking HRT a couple months ago. I'm afraid he'll become a troon or kill himself/ruin his life. The big problem with his transition, though, is he's masculine as fuck and there is no damn way he'll pass regardless of what he does. I dunno if he knows this, or if he doesn't, what'll happen once he finds out. I seriously don't want anything bad to happen, especially cause he has mental illness and very bad coping skills. He's still my friend through all this, y'know?

Then there's the other problem, all my friends are very supportive of this. While I'm ok with it (or at least don't say my true opinions, so everyone thinks I go along perfectly fine), one of my friends got a bit snooty at another for accidentally misgendering him, then backtracked and said she 'wasn't angry'. That shit pisses me off, people are gonna make mistakes and railing on them for that can and will make the problem worse. Case in point, I'm talking about it here.

I've known the dude since middle school, but both my memory and ability to form new habits are literal garbage, so I'm inevitably gonna misgender him or call him by the wrong name by accident, and I doubt it'll go well with my friend group. Trying to talk him out of this would likely, at best, get me kicked out of their group, and at worst could make my friend's poor mental state even worse.

I'm just sorta afraid of what'll happen when I eventually slip up, his body is very masculine so I gotta think about every single word I say before I speak instead of letting the words out naturally (especially cause I call everyone I know dude or guy regardless of gender), and replace 'him' with 'her' and one name with another every time I speak to him. It's just so damn tiring. I want this to end happily, but I know that'll never happen.

You can use the tried and tested "do not engage" and avoid interacting at all with that person.

 

[Ser Prize]

My theory is that with women trans culture at least partially originates from slashy fandoms. I don't have any statistics of course, but I'm kinda sure that 90% of FtMs started as fujoshis (I read this thread and many mention this issue too). Hetero romance has always been an important for girls, they can be cringey and totally old-fashioned but they serve as role-models. M/M shipping was not very popular in 1990-s but saw great raise with the raise of Internet in 2000-s and continiues growing. Imagine a teen girl simping over two imaginable males for years, with time it becomes a fetish. I saw girls who openly said that they can't enjoy hetero stories, because they needed it to be 2 males. The second step of that development is to factually become a male and enter the gay relationships she dreamed about. Of course the reality is a bit different as we can see on the related threads on KF lol.

PS it's not an anti-slash take by any means, everyone can jerk off to anything he/she likes, but the tendency I obesrved over years. The sheer amout of fujoshi slowly evolving into they/them and finally trooning out makes one think. Also, I think there is similar pattern with males and yuri / lesbian porn.

Just like how lesbian obsessed dudes troon out to try and live their uwu yuri fantasies. Christ gay acceptance was a mistake.

 

[milk]

The only people I've known to troon out were insufferable attention whores beforehand, so I perceived their troon out as just another attention seeking endeavor, no loss for me. However, I have lost a family member to a religious cult before, so I think I can sympathize to a degree.

 

[PeggieBigCock]

I made a friend who I later realized was trans, at an unrelated point I made a joke about people molested as kids, and this person confessed to me they were groomed since childhood and effectively touched and raped before puberty, they are a talented illustrator and as a writer I’d like them to illustrate for my works. I’ve also lost tranny friends to post trump Covid psychosis, and momentary fuckups of pronouns, I have fucked up my new superior art friends pronouns, to my humiliation and momentary self beration, they truly are confused and damaged and I truly empathize with that. They are the exception to the sea of “agender” they/them white women for whom I have NO tolerance for. They are an authoritative blight, and this particular individual shares my beliefs on that fact. That “trans” white women aren’t authentically “trans” they agree that these things are incels and grifters, my feelings are mixed but I do respect this person,

 

[Ser Prize]

I made a friend who I later realized was trans, at an unrelated point I made a joke about people molested as kids, and this person confessed to me they were groomed since childhood and effectively touched and raped before puberty, they are a talented illustrator and as a writer I’d like them to illustrate for my works. I’ve also lost tranny friends to post trump Covid psychosis, and momentary fuckups of pronouns, I have fucked up my new superior art friends pronouns, to my humiliation and momentary self beration, they truly are confused and damaged and I truly empathize with that. They are the exception to the sea of “agender” they/them white women for whom I have NO tolerance for. They are an authoritative blight, and this particular individual shares my beliefs on that fact. That “trans” white women aren’t authentically “trans” they agree that these things are incels and grifters, my feelings are mixed but I do respect this person,

That's just sad. Your friend needs actual, genuine therapy. Not the tranny bandaid.

 

[EiTC]

My theory is that with women trans culture at least partially originates from slashy fandoms. I don't have any statistics of course, but I'm kinda sure that 90% of FtMs started as fujoshis (I read this thread and many mention this issue too). Hetero romance has always been an important for girls, they can be cringey and totally old-fashioned but they serve as role-models. M/M shipping was not very popular in 1990-s but saw great raise with the raise of Internet in 2000-s and continiues growing. Imagine a teen girl simping over two imaginable males for years, with time it becomes a fetish. I saw girls who openly said that they can't enjoy hetero stories, because they needed it to be 2 males. The second step of that development is to factually become a male and enter the gay relationships she dreamed about. Of course the reality is a bit different as we can see on the related threads on KF lol.

PS it's not an anti-slash take by any means, everyone can jerk off to anything he/she likes, but the tendency I obesrved over years. The sheer amout of fujoshi slowly evolving into they/them and finally trooning out makes one think. Also, I think there is similar pattern with males and yuri / lesbian porn.

I agree with this, along with gender role-escapism. Also, the slashfic origin created a self serving ouroboros of woke "Stop writing MLM if you aren't a man, it's fetishizing." along with "If you're female and enjoy a lot of MLM, have you questioned if you're actually female?" among other faux intellectual identity-isms. Far too many people I've seen say they had their "trans awakening" through fanfiction, and I just have to wonder... you've never thought about that any deeper than that? Or think it's weird you're making permanent, life ruining decisions based on fanfiction?

Also I can't help but laugh the same woke crowd HATES straight men jerking it to lesbian porn, but the second a man says he's a woman (beard, girlydick and all!) he gets a free pass, and their tiny little brains are satisfied. Another win for progressivism!

 

[tiggles]

Person in friend circle who trooned out has honed in on me for advice and it sucks. Did not take “thigh highs and a bodycon dress are not appropriate for dinner” well. Also insisted he passes and sent a face shot. I don’t think they ever pass but this was especially gutsy coming from a guy taking horse piss for less than 2 months. Also, it’s not the face that clocks… it’s the whole package.

Anyways if you guys have any tips for making him cry while appearing to mean well, let me know. shit is hilarious.

 

[DumbDude42]

Person in friend circle who trooned out has honed in on me for advice and it sucks. Did not take “thigh highs and a bodycon dress are not appropriate for dinner” well. Also insisted he passes and sent a face shot. I don’t think they ever pass but this was especially gutsy coming from a guy taking horse piss for less than 2 months. Also, it’s not the face that clocks… it’s the whole package.

Anyways if you guys have any tips for making him cry while appearing to mean well, let me know. shit is hilarious.

next time he asks you for advice, give him a long list of things that prevent him from ever passing and that he can't realistically change. pick and choose the ones which apply to him, like don't say hes too tall to pass if he's actually a tiny manlet, don't say hands too large if he has tiny baby hands, etc

>shoulders too wide
>barrel chest
>chad jawline
>visible facial hair even after shaving
>large man hands
>large man feet
>large man nose
>large man brow ridge
>deep set hunter eyes
>narrow hips
>naturally male posture due to naturally smaller hip angle

Spoiler: show him this pic if you want to elaborate about the hip thing

of course you can also get into the real brutal stuff, like "you have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no vagina, you have no breasts, all the surgery in the world can never give you the real thing" but that'll trigger him too hard which you said you want to avoid, so probably don't do this unless pushed

basically give him the whole "you will never be a woman, you will never pass" talk without the obvious insults and memes, but make sure to drive home that these things are immutable and he can never really change them

 

[Lyle Delmar Chipperson]

Well fuck me, looks like I have to change my vote from "None, I came to complain about troons" to "1". Did my semi-annual log into to normiebook today and found out that an old high school friend trooned. Wasn't super close with him and haven't talked to him in years but it's still an odd feeling, like someone died.

 

[tiggles]

next time he asks you for advice, give him a long list of things that prevent him from ever passing and that he can't realistically change. pick and choose the ones which apply to him, like don't say hes too tall to pass if he's actually a tiny manlet, don't say hands too large if he has tiny baby hands, etc

>shoulders too wide
>barrel chest
>chad jawline
>visible facial hair even after shaving
>large man hands
>large man feet
>large man nose
>large man brow ridge
>deep set hunter eyes
>narrow hips
>naturally male posture due to naturally smaller hip angle

Spoiler: show him this pic if you want to elaborate about the hip thing

View attachment 2673321

of course you can also get into the real brutal stuff, like "you have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no vagina, you have no breasts, all the surgery in the world can never give you the real thing" but that'll trigger him too hard which you said you want to avoid, so probably don't do this unless pushed

basically give him the whole "you will never be a woman, you will never pass" talk without the obvious insults and memes, but make sure to drive home that these things are immutable and he can never really change them

Yeah for sure I’m trying to do it in a way that’s extra subtle if anybody has ideas. I already dropped the “you should size up that dress it doesn’t fit your shoulders” but I think it flew over his head.

 

[NerdShamer]

Yeah for sure I’m trying to do it in a way that’s extra subtle if anybody has ideas. I already dropped the “you should size up that dress it doesn’t fit your shoulders” but I think it flew over his head.

Tell him to apply more makeup without mentioning the fact that he'll look like a clown.

 

[Toluene Blood]

Yeah for sure I’m trying to do it in a way that’s extra subtle if anybody has ideas. I already dropped the “you should size up that dress it doesn’t fit your shoulders” but I think it flew over his head.

Yeah that's way too subtle for people who are in the cult. Try commenting on his social relationships, e.g. "haven't seen X in a while, probably not since your transition actually, same for Y and Z" for pre-troon friends. Also be sure to embarrass him about any new troon friends or subreddits/discords/etc especially in front of friends and family, like "wow nice friend, too bad 'she' is having trouble getting HRT. Oh, it's been 2 years of it? Huh."

 

[PinstripeLuns]

For some reason my mate's sister is living with him, and his sister is now a mister, never really spoken to the girl before but I went over to his today. I walk in and her bedroom door is the first door I see.

"my name is AYDEN now. IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FOR A YEAR. use HE/HIM pronouns" is written on a paper stuck to a door, which is odd for someone who goes to an all girl's school. she pokes her head out to say hi and is visibly pissed i'm there.

omw out, was sure to say bye! "anon's... sibling!". can't get mad at me for gender neutral language. no clue why she moved in with him, her dad seemed to put up with her enough.

 

[Ser Prize]

Person in friend circle who trooned out has honed in on me for advice and it sucks. Did not take “thigh highs and a bodycon dress are not appropriate for dinner” well. Also insisted he passes and sent a face shot. I don’t think they ever pass but this was especially gutsy coming from a guy taking horse piss for less than 2 months. Also, it’s not the face that clocks… it’s the whole package.

Anyways if you guys have any tips for making him cry while appearing to mean well, let me know. shit is hilarious.

Tell him to look up how pregnancy effects women and learn from that.

 

[Kiislova]

Person in friend circle who trooned out has honed in on me for advice and it sucks. Did not take “thigh highs and a bodycon dress are not appropriate for dinner” well. Also insisted he passes and sent a face shot. I don’t think they ever pass but this was especially gutsy coming from a guy taking horse piss for less than 2 months. Also, it’s not the face that clocks… it’s the whole package.

Anyways if you guys have any tips for making him cry while appearing to mean well, let me know. shit is hilarious.

Always refer to her as "transwoman" as a clearly different category from "woman" things like "what a [adjective] transwoman" when refering to her or other troon.

You can make some bullshit empowering reason as to why insist on the trans thing. I dunno, visibility or something.

Is just a very progressive way to say YWNBAW

 

[Tovarisz]

I have a friend who was always effiminate and kinda crazy, watches way, way too much fucking anime but is otherwise great to hang out, drink beers and play vidya with.

Some years ago he got an office job for a international corpo, as you can expect, the corpo was and is woke AF, during that time he "came out" to his coworkers and we all laughed about his successful troll.

But I don't believe it was a troll anymore, he got a buttload of privileges and special treatment at his job during that time and I think he liked it, which is why I think he's going to come out to society in a year or two.

I've already accepted that but his case is also the reason no LGBT fucko can tell me they're opressed abd expect me to take them seriously with how much kiddie glove treatment they get, my buddy was at his job in god mode, if someone didn't like him all he had to say is "Is it because I'm trans?" and they cowered in fear of being fired for being a nazi bigot.

There are actual, tangible benefits to trooning out that I saw him enjoy and I do think otherwise it's a fetish for him and his self aware enough not to get any surgeries or HRT but who knows at this point, I do believe if it wasn't for the benefits he would keep it in the closet only coming out to his weirdo pump and dump waifus.