Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Apis mellifera]

Any advice on vetting public schools? I have a chance to nudge an at-risk family in one direction or another since they're moving.
Unfortunately "tell them not to send their kids to public schools" isn't an option. I've tried.

Why are they at-risk? As long as the kid isn't groomed, sexually abused, or told that they're "too masculine to be a girl"/"too feminine to be a boy", they'll be fine. Transitioning mostly happens because tomboys or effeminate gay boys feel uncomfortable with the gender norms put upon them, and see no other option for being as masculine/feminine as they desire other than pretending to be a gender-conforming member of the opposite sex. It's almost always a very sad symptom of trauma.

All American public schools seem pozzed on gender ideology, your best bet is just inoculating the kid against it by teaching self-love and self-acceptance, that they can never change their sex, and that it's okay to be a bit of a non-conforming weirdo.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

I just lost a long term friend to the cult. He was a feminine twink. He had multiple issues growing up. He was molested. He was raped. He is traumatized and mentally ill but I always loved him because we've been together thick and thin. If this was a decade ago, he would have just been a man with a feminization fetish. He's also terminally online which isn't really helping him.

In our group, we have some trans people. They all suffer in different ways. One person has dysphoria and is upset that the medications have killed their sex drive. Another person is depressed that no one will love them and also that their sex drive is also diminished. Many times they have gotten turned down because people don't want to be in a relationship with transgender people. They know something is wrong with them but I can't help or I'll be considered a TERF. Another person got fired from their job and now they work for uber. For some reason, they think it's a good job even though it taxes your car and the gas prices are insane so they eat away at your bottom line. We'll call them D for "driver".

D has been putting nonsense into my friends head. They called him an egg and such. I have no idea how deep the conversations went but it slowly started changing him. First D says that my friend is now nonbinary and would like to be called "they/them". I didn't mind. "They" is easy to use. A year or so passes and then my friend says that they're starting HRT and D makes the group love bomb him while saying "got another one boys".

Here's the thing about my friend. They are mentally ill and they crave attention and affection. They will do multiple things just to keep getting that affection and love. When I saw this happen, I felt sick. I knew they were being manipulated.

So I went to them. I told them my feelings. I told them that I was scared for him. He won't be able to have kids. He'll have ED. Estrogen deals with connective tissue and he has a heart condition. He said that he'll have a team of doctors seeing if it's a good idea. I told him that I've seen people get the okay from doctors and they still suffer. He said he's still going on with it.

So now I get to watch an online friend slowly die and then eventually commit suicide. Transitioning never helps. It never makes you happy. It never makes you feel complete. It's mental illness so it always changes to something else that needs to be fixed. Perhaps your boobs are too small. Perhaps you'd finally like to stand to pee. Even if you don't die from the complications of HRT and surgeries, you'll never feel happy.

Aaaaand now D can't pay bills because having an uber job sucks! Wow, it's almost like I called it! And if I point our how this person is suffering due to them being trans to my friend, they'll call me insane or a TERF.

It's almost as if transitioning doesn't actually fix anything and gives you more suffering! But if I pull up graphs and documents showing this, people call me mean things. If you are depressed, you will still be depressed. If you have dysphoria, you will still have dysphoria. Because the brain issue wasn't actually fixed and you just tried to fix your body instead to fit your brain's view. Except here's the funny thing! Your brain still wants to have bad thoughts so it'll just drift to something else to have bad thoughts about!

It's the equivalent of having the runs after you eat food from a certain restaurant and you go "Maybe it's because I'm eating veggies. I should avoid eating veggies." and continue to eat food from there and still shit yourself when you literally should just stop eating food from that restaurant entirely.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

It was after I caught him cumming into my panties

I feel like we at the farms must have the worst luck sometimes with life. That's traumatic for the regular person like the medic I knew who showed up to a murder suicide and found her brother shot his dad and hung himself.

pitiable transsexual

There is an old saying, "People who are in extremely pitiable states are caused by their own detestable faults". I feel I ought not feel pity for these people, but detest.

I have regarding your experiences that you spoilered. There's an old friend of mine, she has severe PMS and feels likes trooning out because of this. Severe as in I can count the days and she'll have the symptoms like clockwork (Extremely bad temper, lack of concentration, depression, acene). I don't have PMS for obvious reasons, but is there anything I could say to dissuade them from this? I've already told them how being a male is not what it seems but no effect.

Private schools still encourage troons.

As horrible as this sounds, unless the kid can be bullied by people higher on the socjus totem pole to not be a tranny, who won't be reprimanded, then they'll be indulged by just about any school.

Teach them how to truly think freely, it's not illegal yet.

 

[Apis mellifera]

I have regarding your experiences that you spoilered. There's an old friend of mine, she has severe PMS and feels likes trooning out because of this. Severe as in I can count the days and she'll have the symptoms like clockwork (Extremely bad temper, lack of concentration, depression, acene). I don't have PMS for obvious reasons, but is there anything I could say to dissuade them from this? I've already told them how being a male is not what it seems but no effect.

I'm sorry to hear, I've been in that position too. I'm sure she's seen many (likely male) doctors who have dismissed her conditions and offered no functional treatment, and she is tired of feeling miserable, so she sees testosterone as her only option. She might not listen to you, given that you are male, so you are welcome to show her this post or say you talked to a friend about it.

I won't lie, it is a good mood stabiliser, I was less emotionally volatile in some ways in that I was less fearful, I was happier, I had more energy and more motivation, but I also had greatly diminished impulse control and I was more keen to jump into conflicts with other people. It is the more fun hormone, I won't deny it, but it's really not worth the health concerns (osteoperosis, heart strain, blood clots and stroke above that of even natal males, memory issues), and her anger issues will remain no matter what sex hormones dominate her endocrine system. The reason why testosterone is a mood stabiliser is because it improves serotonin activity in key areas of the brain, including the amygdala.

As estrogen levels drop off before her menses, her serotonin in her brain plummets, which leads to overall feelings of fear, doom, anxiety, and lack of concentration. Fear and lack of control leads to anger. I'm sure you know this all already, but I find it helpful to lay things out clearly so we can consider the mechanisms behind our issues, and consider some possible solutions. Firstly, I'm sure she's already tried SSRIs and found, like many other people, they're zombie pills and they make you feel like shit.

With issues like depression, anger issues, lack of concentration, these are most likely more issues with how she interacts with her own mind and her life style, rather than purely her hormones fluctuating. She'll still have anger issues even if she is on testosterone. She has to learn how to manage her emotions responsibly, which is a hard skill to learn, but is possible. Due to chronic pain from neurological and rheumatic disabilities that are exacerbated by estrogen fluctuations, I also struggled with anger management, because chronic pain caused my baseline stress level to be very high just to cope with the pain.

Spoiler: Tips for anger management

I'm sure it can be hard not to turn to physical aggression and violence when feelings get overwhelming, it's primal and instinctual, but it is also socially unacceptable.

1) If she isn't already, start meditating for 5-30 minutes/day, ideally morning and evening, but just evening works. This helps to give a sense of control and stability, and to learn how to feel emotions whilst also being able to observe them calmly. It really does help with reducing anxiety and improving motivation.

2) Work out everyday if she isn't already, ideally both cardio and resistance. It doesn't have to be a lot in the beginning, it can be a 30 minute bike ride and 20 pushups, but it's enough to raise your heart rate and get you out of your head, which reduces anxiety and aggression. It helps to consider active tasks that involve all of your focus to be a state of active meditation, like surfing, riding a bike, paddleboarding, that kind of thing. This is just anecdotal, but I've found exercise like this to really help with trauma and anger issues, and others have too.

3) FIX YOUR FUCKING DIET!! I don't care who you are or what you eat, I guarantee you can be eating better. When you are PMSing, your serotonin plummets, and what temporarily bumps serotonin? Shit food. Sugar, carbs, heavily processed garbage I wouldn't feed my dog, cut all that out. It will make her feel better at first, but the issue is that most of your serotonin is made in your bowels, and if she eats like shit, she will feel like shit. No pun intended. So put aside all those sweets and breads, eat just meat, cheese, nuts, mushrooms, full-fat yogurt, fruit, and vegetables. If she doesn't already cook at home, it can be a very rewarding skill to learn, and you can eventually start preparing all of your meals on sunday night and just eat leftovers throughout the week to save time. It sounds like a lot of work, changing your diet CAN be hard, but I promise it's worth it.

3.5) Take magnesium, vitamin D (if she doesn't work outside), B-complex vitamins, especially before and whilst menstruating. These helped with my mood, and the magnesium helps a lot with cramps and inflammation.

4) Don't repress your emotions. When you're angry, instead find an acceptable outlet, do pushups or go for a walk, which will get the adrenaline dump "out", and will also make you physically stronger, which is always a bonus.

5) Practice "box breathing" whenever you have a free moment. This is an example of bio-feedback, basically tricking your body into being calm and reducing cortisol. Breath in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold (empty) for four seconds, inhale and repeat.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but anger really is a state of mind. You can learn to manage it through discipline, exercise, meditation.

Hormonal depression and lack of conentration is a bitch, but just forcing yourself to move your body and exercise vigorously can help to really take the edge off. Beyond that, it may be worth speaking with a psychiatrist and looking into typically adhd-prescribed medications such as Wellbutrin, which is a dopamine reuptake inhibitor and is great for some (including myself) for aiding motivation and mood stabilisation, and Ritalin, or another stimulant to take on the terrible days to help with depression. Not many know this, but stimulants are sometimes prescribed for depression.

For acne, look into topical salicylic acid, it reduces inflammation, and wash your face 1-2 times per day (acne-formulated face washes are awesome). Witch hazel is also great. If her acne really is so terrible she wants to transition, perhaps she should see a doctor, but if it's just hormonal acne, it really should be very manageable.

You can't stop your friend from transitioning, but if her lifestyle and diet are shit it would be a good idea to fix that first, and to look into less harmful and permanent medications. She sounds like she's dealing with serious emotional regulation problems that she needs to figure out coping mechanisms for, and ideally see a therapist + psychiatrist for professional coping mechanism advice and medications. Testosterone makes you more impulsive, not less, and will  not help with emotional regulation at all.

EDIT:

Spoiler: On being perceived as a man

It's not uncommon for victims of a lifetime of misogyny, predatory behaviour, and sexism to see manhood as the key to their "prison". Unfortunately, being a manlet is not all it's cracked up to be. In work and life, as a perceived butch woman, I was sometimes mocked for my masculinity, but I was also respected, because I developed a hard and dominant exterior that forced people to shut up and listen in team meetings. I'm sure I was called a "bitch" sometimes, but that's how it goes. In social situations, when people started perceiving me as a diminutive male, while my competitive and harsh personality was expected of me and no longer controversial, I lost much of the respect I had earned, because I was suddenly the lowest in the pecking order of men. I have much more sympathy for men than I once did, the strength and size based pecking order of men can be brutal, even in more stereotypically "nerdy" fields.

 

[AnnLurker]

My intersex friend has lost a buddy or two due to getting into arguments with them over how horrific what was done to her has made her want to beat the shit out of people that think kids should be on hormones. After all, it made her sterile and her parents raised her as a boy; to this day she still wears mens underwear, says that wearing panties would make her feel like a huge pervert.
But I digress; and funny enough she has become a hard core anti transer so anytime she meets any she immediately nopes out away from them. She told me one time that a lot of them fetishize her in a weird way where they want desperately to be intersex too and turn out as cute as she did (Went from a 2/10 man to a 6/10 woman) She told more than a few they will never be a real woman no matter how many titty skittles they eat. Right she was, most look like horrorshows and most are really old.
As for me personally, I have happily cut out any troons out of my personal circle of friends. God damn psychopaths.

 

[Ser Prize]

Man, so many young women are drinking this kool-aid.

 

[retard strength]

Found out the gay mtf former friend that got groomed I posted about previously has transitioned (ha ha) to munchie as his new primary identity. New disability, new lifestyle, new community, new grift, new excuses.

I guess trooning out isn't shocking now like it was in this mid-2000s, and honestly I think he is seeing the writing on the wall wrt grooming, backlash from transed kids, increasingly public agp horniness, obvious incel-to-troon pipeline, mtf violence on women, etc. Might as well try a new community instead, right?

Full-on "born again" style munchie too. New identity, huge coming out tale, rewriting history for it, crapping on parents, severely changed irl day to day shit for it. And it's nothing. It isn't real. Can't even imagine how exhausting it is to put this whole LARP and show on every damn day. But I also can't imagine trying to be seen as the opposite gender either, so maybe this is easier in comparison. He's doing both still as far as I know, like god damn.

I hate groomers. I hate how they use the internet. I hate what internet access has done to weak or vulnerable people. And I guess I have come to hate the weak or vulnerable people for falling for it after a certain age and expecting everyone else to distort around them as a result. Dude is going to be chasing this dragon forever.

Maybe he would have turned to other self harm and vices if trooning out weren't popular. I won't ever never know, but trooning out certainly hasn't made him happier. It hasn't made any of them happier, I don't know a single one, male or female, that is happier "living their true self".

 

[AMHOLIO]

Full-on "born again" style munchie too. New identity, huge coming out tale, rewriting history for it, crapping on parents, severely changed irl day to day shit for it. And it's nothing. It isn't real. Can't even imagine how exhausting it is to put this whole LARP and show on every damn day. But I also can't imagine trying to be seen as the opposite gender either, so maybe this is easier in comparison. He's doing both still as far as I know, like god damn.

To think that back in the day the only ways to do this were to join a religion or a hardcore cult religion is fascinating. Now we have baptism based around privilege and disability, for we were mislead by sin beforehand and now in the light of progression I sin no more, and all my future actions are free of sin.


I'm trying to think of other ways people have done it that wasn't trooning in the past. Being a munchie isn't new in the slightest, at least. I suppose they probably had hardcore democrat/republican conversions too like they do now, doesn't get as much attention as new religion imo. I wondered if people like this would flourish better in times before big background checks and having easily accessible information at your finger tips, where you could restart a new life in a new state with no one the wiser to your past, but really, the problem is them and their mindset.

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Found out recently a 3D modeler I've shot the shit off and on with and have gobs of respect for trooned out in the past few months....needless to say that kind of ruined my day.

 

[Muttnik]

One of my friends recently became a trans widow and has openly thought of killing herself because her ex got his online entourage to harass her. Her only crime was telling him that she wasn't interested in exploring his in-bed LARP fetish sessions.

Honestly, I'm starting to think becoming a single cat lady isn't so bad if this is the shit I have to worry about.

 

[AMHOLIO]

One of my friends recently became a trans widow and has openly thought of killing herself because her ex got his online entourage to harass her. Her only crime was telling him that she wasn't interested in exploring his in-bed LARP fetish sessions.

Honestly, I'm starting to think becoming a single cat lady isn't so bad if this is the shit I have to worry about.

Is she getting help right now? I hope she's staying offline or remaking all of her accounts.

 

[Muttnik]

Is she getting help right now? I hope she's staying offline or remaking all of her accounts.

As far as I know, she's pretty much dumped most if not all of her online accounts and activity. We just talk over text these days so hopefully, she's feeling better. I worry about her a lot. They met in college and he was pretty much PART of her identity. So she's not taking the heelturn well at all.

 

[Plunkie]

Man, so many young women are drinking this kool-aid.

The sliver of bright news is that women appear to be more likely to regret it. Right now you've got some fairly high-profile cases like Helena Kerschner, Scott Newgent (who is staying "male" but arguing against it), Chloe Cole, etc

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

Man, so many young women are drinking this kool-aid.

I really feel as though many women try to become a man because they're trying to free themselves from female stereotypes and expectations but then they realize that people still treat them the same or they get upset that people don't handle them with kid gloves anymore.

This one TiF went to a subreddit to show off their beard. All the men immediately told her to shave it because it was a neckbeard. She immediately got upset and went to a troon subreddit to get coddled.

It's funny, TiFs think being a man is going to be fun and freeing but then don't realize the amount of expectations and things are placed on a man.

And then TiMs think women also have the easy life but then realize that it's not that great either.

And then can tackle stereotypes and talk about feminism and toxic masculinity but when you get down to it, people would call soft boi TiFs not dependable at all and TiM sex pests disturbing and untrustworthy.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

My intersex friend has lost a buddy or two due to getting into arguments with them over how horrific what was done to her has made her want to beat the shit out of people that think kids should be on hormones.

Intersex people are the true victims in shit because they don't have a choice, they were literally born with what would be considered phenotype and genotype anomalies.
In ye olden days they used to be shamed if they tried to be modern day trans. Really interesting case and punishment since he tried to be ambiguous gender (modern trans movement), and that you could choose one and be done historically.

I really feel as though many women try to become a man because they're trying to free themselves from female stereotypes and expectations but then they realize that people still treat them the same or they get upset that people don't handle them with kid gloves anymore.

The parents should've handled them with proper kid gloves.

@Apis mellifera
Thanks, hopefully I can convince her. Not holding my breath.

 

[kittyfucker]

My intersex friend has lost a buddy or two due to getting into arguments with them over how horrific what was done to her has made her want to beat the shit out of people that think kids should be on hormones[...]

I feel so bad for intersex people. Not in a pity way or a "oh, you poor thing" way (like when you see a severely disabled kid or animal) but that it's so political. I have a friend who straight up would say that your friend is a male because she was raised male and is partially "biologically" male; it's not like she chose it for fucks sake.
I had a friend who was a hermaphrodite (his words, not mine) and I'd never say to his face "no, fuck you, you're actually a woman" because who the hell am I to tell someone else what their medical condition is? Trans people who hide behind intersex people for whatever reason piss me off the most because it is a conscious choice; you were born 100% male and raised 100% male, and you are telling these people who are genuinely mixed up in one way or another that you're just like them, when they are already VERY vulnerable to fucked up surgeries and procedures to try and "fix" them - they actively CHOOSE that. Makes me so MATI, man.

 

[AnnLurker]

Intersex people are the true victims in shit because they don't have a choice, they were literally born with what would be considered phenotype and genotype anomalies.

Not to mention that a lot of trans pretend to be intersex now by saying they have tiny boobs from being fat, etc. Why you would want to be a genetic dead end with what amounts to nonfunctioning parts do to genetics and womb hormone issues is beyond me.

I feel so bad for intersex people. Not in a pity way or a "oh, you poor thing" way (like when you see a severely disabled kid or animal) but that it's so political. I have a friend who straight up would say that your friend is a male because she was raised male and is partially "biologically" male; it's not like she chose it for fucks sake.
I had a friend who was a hermaphrodite (his words, not mine) and I'd never say to his face "no, fuck you, you're actually a woman" because who the hell am I to tell someone else what their medical condition is? Trans people who hide behind intersex people for whatever reason piss me off the most because it is a conscious choice; you were born 100% male and raised 100% male, and you are telling these people who are genuinely mixed up in one way or another that you're just like them, when they are already VERY vulnerable to fucked up surgeries and procedures to try and "fix" them - they actively CHOOSE that. Makes me so MATI, man.

My friend thought she was one and basically continues to act like one. Problem is, she's grown breasts and ass to the point of not being able to hide it after she was taken off her wrongly prescribed hormones. She kept trying to live as a man til people started asking her if she was the bearded lady at a carnival (I shit you not). The two of us were not the closest of friends as kids, when he was a boy he was pretty violent and liked to get into fights. Being on this site you can guess I'm not a chad, obviously.
That's the worst part of this to me. The rest of her family was full of very lovely women with incredible personalities. She likely would have been one too if not transformed into a literal bully as a kid.

Then again, I think she has seriously chilled out being off testosterone and going through the process of detransing what was done to her because she has a tiny penis as a baby. I can't imagine the psychological damage will ever be reversed. She's basically a dude who is slowly turning into a modestly attractive girl (Her family is full of babes, but you can't reverse what T does to your body after that long) and has become quite the bro. Had to teach the stupid fuck how female deodorants work cause she was too embarrassed to ask her own family.

I just hope her story and those of others will help doctors stop giving hormones due to "dysphoria". If she legit had every right to feel like she was in the wrong body and didn't have it, these people need to understand that it's a fetish or psychological issues akin to anorexia. You don't lop off the arm of someone who thinks their arm isn't theirs, and you don't turn women into men because of a stupid doctor's mistakes and failures at biology.

 

[KuwabaraTheMan]

You can't escape from leftism in the public school system. It's infected with it from top to bottom. it's everywhere.

And I do mean EVERYWHERE. Liberals are immensely attracted to school board elections, library board meetings, book clubs etc etc etc. That's why you constantly hear stories about public libraries or elementary schools in 80% Trump areas teaching kids about gay buttsex or having sex offenders read said books to them. Conservatives have been completely caught asleep at the switch on this and they've paid a heavy price. Now they're trying to play catch-up.

It's even worse if you live in a university town because college acts as a conduit for so much other bullshit.

 

[I am the Muffin Maker]

There is an old saying, "People who are in extremely pitiable states are caused by their own detestable faults". I feel I ought not feel pity for these people, but detest.

Or as I like to say - wherever you go, there you are.

Changing your sex isn't going to change your innermost thoughts about yourself. I wish more people would realize this. It's mostly the same for all plastic surgery, getting the perfect nose isn't going to fix you.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

Not to mention that a lot of trans pretend to be intersex now by saying they have tiny boobs from being fat, etc. Why you would want to be a genetic dead end with what amounts to nonfunctioning parts do to genetics and womb hormone issues is beyond me.

That's not the definition of intersex (born with or developing opposite gender gonads).
I think they should go to the past most likely to induce fertility in genetic mosaics 46 XXY or 46XX/47XXY, or lacking genetic abnormalities, least amount of intervention to prevent cancer. That's what the "do no harm" should've been but we now have this abnormality of assigning a preset gender to the few groups that could theoretically be properly "trans".
Oh, and give true intersex a single chance to determine what they want to be 18.

but that it's so political.

You can thank "leaders" at the medical lobbying groups like the APA, ADA, trying to line their own pockets. If the government would butt out of regulating the industry a bit (And not psuedo-write the professional agencies into law like my non medical one) because these types of slapfights are pretty normal since nobody really "knows" scientifically the best way to deal with intersex abnormalities. In reality, most down to earth non-research doctors I've met realize that the best way is to not intervene, or preserve fertility, but that also involves having parents on the same page. Then again, research/practice have very wide gulfs of knowledge. 90% of the shit research proffessors tell are downright wrong in my field

You can't escape from leftism in the public school system. It's infected with it from top to bottom. it's everywhere.

Why do you think the government is so resistant to homeschooling? They are afraid.