Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[ScurvyRat]

so, uh, one of my old university friends has taken my name as their "new" name. my name is insanely unique - according to one website:

• Based on the analysis of 100 years worth of data from the Social Security Administration's (SSA) Baby Names database, the estimated population of people named [name] is 0.

we were all in a big WhatsApp group chat, but it slowly died off, as most do. it picks up again for the annual holiday greetings, and suddenly, this man announces he's going by "she/her" now and would love for all of us to call "her" by "her new name".

we all obviously have him saved as his birth name, so someone else asks him what it is and he, bold as brass, says "(name), just like (my name, last name). pronounced the same too"

he then goes on to say that I'm not [origin of name] either, so it's fair game. he apparently picked it because it "sounded pretty", and gave him "a warm feeling". upon further googling, there a lot of fucking trannies with my name, which is just delightful.

You have to shut this shit down.
Leave the group chat if necessary.
Do not let this fucking freak skinwalk you.

@Iron Jaguar

>Exactly. Women can hate on men, fine, but then putting fags into the same category as normal men is both wrong and offensive. Normal men don't behave the way fags do.

Fags are so much worse than "normal" men. The only way to deal with them is pure malevolence and unchecked violence. I've had to slap down a few fags in my day and every time it was like Christmas.
I covered this in the Man Hate thread, but at my old job I had this latinx faggot who was obsessed with me because he thought I was a teenager (I'm 30+) He later got arrested for trying to break into apartments to try and rape men. Wish I was making it up.

 

[crazedaze]

arrested for trying to break into apartments to try and rape men

Normal men don't behave the way fags do

Normal men rape women? Is this the point? Lol

 

[ScurvyRat]

Normal men rape women? Is this the point? Lol

Brown men will rape anything that moves/may have moved at one point.

 

[crazedaze]

Brown men will rape anything that moves/may have moved at one point.

Thats weird, a second ago we were talking about fags. straight white men are goodboi dindu nuffins incapable of rape, noted

 

[The Ugly One]

so, uh, one of my old university friends has taken my name as their "new" name. my name is insanely unique - according to one website:

• Based on the analysis of 100 years worth of data from the Social Security Administration's (SSA) Baby Names database, the estimated population of people named [name] is 0.

we were all in a big WhatsApp group chat, but it slowly died off, as most do. it picks up again for the annual holiday greetings, and suddenly, this man announces he's going by "she/her" now and would love for all of us to call "her" by "her new name".

we all obviously have him saved as his birth name, so someone else asks him what it is and he, bold as brass, says "(name), just like (my name, last name). pronounced the same too"

he then goes on to say that I'm not [origin of name] either, so it's fair game. he apparently picked it because it "sounded pretty", and gave him "a warm feeling". upon further googling, there a lot of fucking trannies with my name, which is just delightful.

I'm with everyone else saying, do NOT laugh this off. This is a massive boundary violation. What this guy is doing is no different than if he stole some of your clothes and was wearing them around.

Leave the group or have him kicked. He's incorporating your existence into his public fetish display, and any degree to which you silently accept it is simply empowering him to continue to humiliate you and use you.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

What this guy is doing is no different than if he stole some of your clothes and was wearing them around.

Oh yes- Sam Brintoning is next up if this is allowed to fly. And worse from there.

 

[Cuckoman]

so, uh, one of my old university friends has taken my name as their "new" name. my name is insanely unique - according to one website:

• Based on the analysis of 100 years worth of data from the Social Security Administration's (SSA) Baby Names database, the estimated population of people named [name] is 0.

we were all in a big WhatsApp group chat, but it slowly died off, as most do. it picks up again for the annual holiday greetings, and suddenly, this man announces he's going by "she/her" now and would love for all of us to call "her" by "her new name".

we all obviously have him saved as his birth name, so someone else asks him what it is and he, bold as brass, says "(name), just like (my name, last name). pronounced the same too"

he then goes on to say that I'm not [origin of name] either, so it's fair game. he apparently picked it because it "sounded pretty", and gave him "a warm feeling". upon further googling, there a lot of fucking trannies with my name, which is just delightful.

You need to end this right now.
This is fucking Buffalo Bill stuff that will escalate to the point he will physically replace you IRL.
Or you will end up in a news report where you are refered to as "the victim".

Stay safe but absolutely shut this shit down right now. You entire friend group need to make it 100% clear that this is not ok and that he behaves like a dangerous psycho. This is absolutely a time and place where your bf or male friends or family will go visit him and tell him in no uncertain terms that he is way out of line and need to stop it.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm with everyone else saying, do NOT laugh this off.

I didn't express myself clearly; this guy's action is a threat, but OP has to be aware that he will immediately jump to the transphobia defense, and she'll get piled on by people who are only half paying attention. She needs to make it publicly clear in her group that this is not a trans issue, but a this guy behaving inappropriately issue.

Evangelizing to her alumni group about TTD is going to give the troon sympathy, and if she appears like she "needs to be educated" then the issue of him stealing her name gets backburnered. Groups of peopleneed to be kept on-topic and from subject drift.

Her message should be "OK, you're trans now, it's 2024 who the fuck isn't trans. This situation is the same as if Becky changed her name to mine and said it gave her the warm fuzzies." Paste in movie poster for Single White Female.

 

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

Found out yet another woman I knew as a teen pooned out.

What's funny is she is very outward about how she 'hates all men' and calls herself a 'feminist'. Yet she's obsessed with yaoi, loves 'MtF's, thinks troons should be in sports and now wants to be a man. She thinks drawing women with big boobs/skinny is bad but is obsessed with drawings of muscular or obese men.

Like bitch you are the biggest male simp on the planet. You're not a 'feminist' you a meninist. Actually, you're kind of a sex pest towards men-- is there a word for that? Whatever the case, she is obsessed with men in every way possible.

Anyway she used to be sort of cool like a decade ago but she's now a cat lady with a beard who has 'queer' values.

I'll probably the only one in my high school friend group who won't poon. It's definitely a social contagion with the 'girls nerdy in the 90s/00s' types.

Why do all poons have the same copy pasta personality once they've converted?

 

[Necrosan]

so, uh, one of my old university friends has taken my name as their "new" name. my name is insanely unique - according to one website:

• Based on the analysis of 100 years worth of data from the Social Security Administration's (SSA) Baby Names database, the estimated population of people named [name] is 0.

we were all in a big WhatsApp group chat, but it slowly died off, as most do. it picks up again for the annual holiday greetings, and suddenly, this man announces he's going by "she/her" now and would love for all of us to call "her" by "her new name".

we all obviously have him saved as his birth name, so someone else asks him what it is and he, bold as brass, says "(name), just like (my name, last name). pronounced the same too"

he then goes on to say that I'm not [origin of name] either, so it's fair game. he apparently picked it because it "sounded pretty", and gave him "a warm feeling". upon further googling, there a lot of fucking trannies with my name, which is just delightful.

Change your name to his deadname.

 

[FedPostalService]

Normal men rape women? Is this the point? Lol

Are you setting me a challenge?

 

[Paper Machete]

Actually, you're kind of a sex pest towards men-- is there a word for that?

Yeah there is: sex pest lol

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

I've talked a little bit about my niece, it isn't super about troon shit so I hope it's okay to post.

I've mentioned I see her as a daughter, though she has negative views of a mom and dad now that she's orphaned and was raised by a terribly abusive grandmother who demanded to be called mom.
I was there when she was 14 and tried slitting her wrists, it wasn't deep, and she was so afraid to go to the hospital. I should have taken her anyway but instead I treated the cuts (and gained ptsd from the sight of blood when I was otherwise fine before) normally I'm clear headed and calm in emergencies, but not with her.

It's now been 2 years since she's talked to me. I'm very sure she just wants to forget everything related to her past, but it still hurts so bad. Every emergency, every midnight call, every runaway, I was her first contact. Every time.
She distanced when she got with a boy 5 years older I didn't approve of. This boy is a nonbinary type, which I already don't like. She's going to be 17 next year... I haven't seen her for 2 years and just wonder if she's okay after running away and moving in with this boy.
I'm trying very hard to move on, I didn't realize how much my life revolved around her. Ffs when my husband and I were looking for a place, we SPECIFICALLY looked for ones with extra bedrooms in a secluded area so she could feel safe and have privacy for once in her life if she were to try running away again.
She's not even my kid, I don't have or want any children, so why does it feel like I lost one? I don't know what I did wrong, she won't tell me.
I think what crushed me the most was her saying I was "just her aunt". I get what that meant, parent has a bad connotation, but holy shit that hurt like hell to hear. I felt used but now.... now I just wish we could wish each other a merry christmas. Happy birthday. Anything.
anything...

 

[fitty tucker]

I've talked a little bit about my niece, it isn't super about troon shit so I hope it's okay to post.

I've mentioned I see her as a daughter, though she has negative views of a mom and dad now that she's orphaned and was raised by a terribly abusive grandmother who demanded to be called mom.
I was there when she was 14 and tried slitting her wrists, it wasn't deep, and she was so afraid to go to the hospital. I should have taken her anyway but instead I treated the cuts (and gained ptsd from the sight of blood when I was otherwise fine before) normally I'm clear headed and calm in emergencies, but not with her.

It's now been 2 years since she's talked to me. I'm very sure she just wants to forget everything related to her past, but it still hurts so bad. Every emergency, every midnight call, every runaway, I was her first contact. Every time.
She distanced when she got with a boy 5 years older I didn't approve of. This boy is a nonbinary type, which I already don't like. She's going to be 17 next year... I haven't seen her for 2 years and just wonder if she's okay after running away and moving in with this boy.
I'm trying very hard to move on, I didn't realize how much my life revolved around her. Ffs when my husband and I were looking for a place, we SPECIFICALLY looked for ones with extra bedrooms in a secluded area so she could feel safe and have privacy for once in her life if she were to try running away again.
She's not even my kid, I don't have or want any children, so why does it feel like I lost one? I don't know what I did wrong, she won't tell me.
I think what crushed me the most was her saying I was "just her aunt". I get what that meant, parent has a bad connotation, but holy shit that hurt like hell to hear. I felt used but now.... now I just wish we could wish each other a merry christmas. Happy birthday. Anything.
anything...

Unsolicited advice, but if you haven't tried recently, I think it's worth reaching out. Especially at that age, people make stupid and impulsive decisions, get caught up in stupid shit, etc, and don't know how to move on when they realize their identity can't revolve around one silly thing. Not sure if you know the status of her relationship, but I'm guessing someone she shacked up with at 15 isn't going to be The One, and she may be looking for an out. She's still a teenager, really still a kid in a lot of ways. Regardless of her genderisms, she needs to hear that people still care and think about her.

The holidays are a good excuse to reach out. I wouldn't write her off just yet.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Unsolicited advice, but if you haven't tried recently, I think it's worth reaching out. Especially at that age, people make stupid and impulsive decisions, get caught up in stupid shit, etc, and don't know how to move on when they realize their identity can't revolve around one silly thing. Not sure if you know the status of her relationship, but I'm guessing someone she shacked up with at 15 isn't going to be The One, and she may be looking for an out. She's still a teenager, really still a kid in a lot of ways. Regardless of her genderisms, she needs to hear that people still care and think about her.

The holidays are a good excuse to reach out. I wouldn't write her off just yet

I did the first year, I also did on her birthday this year, just a very curt "thanks" and that was it. My cousin who she still talks to basically has to agree with everything she does to keep her in her life and I just... can't do that. Despite her age, she is very one track minded. This is her first actual boyfriend so I'm sure she's doing everything she can to prove everyone wrong about it just being a fling/first love.

 

[BoomerSperg1922]

Actually, you're kind of a sex pest towards men-- is there a word for that?

Yeah there is: sex pest lol

Uhm, ACHTUALLY its called being a fujo.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I was there when she was 14 and tried slitting her wrists, it wasn't deep, and she was so afraid to go to the hospital. I should have taken her anyway but instead I treated the cuts (and gained ptsd from the sight of blood when I was otherwise fine before) normally I'm clear headed and calm in emergencies, but not with her.

How old are you? I assumed from how you handled this emergency that you were just a couple years older than her, then I scrolled down to "my husband" and I guess you must be at least ten years older than her.

"Protecting" people from receiving very much necessary medical care they are afraid of receiving- and taking the trauma on yourself- is not good. I would urge you in the strongest possible terms to look up materials on codependency- Alanon is the old standby, even if alcohol isn't a big issue in your life or your family's life- and consider some of the patterns in your life and relationships and how they may not be serving you and those around you well. It's nothing you need to be ashamed of, but it may be time to do ye olde fearless inventory and see what could be improved.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

You have to shut this shit down.
Leave the group chat if necessary.
Do not let this fucking freak skinwalk you.

@Iron Jaguar

Fags are so much worse than "normal" men. The only way to deal with them is pure malevolence and unchecked violence. I've had to slap down a few fags in my day and every time it was like Christmas.
I covered this in the Man Hate thread, but at my old job I had this latinx faggot who was obsessed with me because he thought I was a teenager (I'm 30+) He later got arrested for trying to break into apartments to try and rape men. Wish I was making it up.

You know not every gay is a flamer right? Even other gays don't like queens/twinks as much, despite what the internet tells you.
A lot of gays are straight passing ans just want to mind their own business. Saying every gay is a faggot is kinda like saying every man is a degenerate rapist.
Hell I've been friends with a guy who looked like a trucker, big fat guy, quiet, loved nascar, ended up being extremely gay.

How old are you? I assumed from how you handled this emergency that you were just a couple years older than her, then I scrolled down to "my husband" and I guess you must be at least ten years older than her.

"Protecting" people from receiving very much necessary medical care they are afraid of receiving- and taking the trauma on yourself- is not good. I would urge you in the strongest possible terms to look up materials on codependency- Alanon is the old standby, even if alcohol isn't a big issue in your life or your family's life- and consider some of the patterns in your life and relationships and how they may not be serving you and those around you well. It's nothing you need to be ashamed of, but it may be time to do ye olde fearless inventory and see what could be improved.

I'm almost 30 now, I was about 24 or 25 when it happened. Had lost my mom, brother (her bio dad) died the same year as her suicide attempt so I wasn't really in a mentally sound spot.
I do agree though, I wasn't in a good spot and should have taken her. I regret every day not doing so. Husband has been doing really well on helping me push through, the holidays just particularly suck, especially January through March (deathaversary)
have no doubt I've got some co dependant issues, probably because I'm scared to lose even more people.
Part of the reason I don't reach out anymore is because I know it isn't a good idea. 2 vulnerable people with mental issues is... not ideal. I can only hope she has friends or still talks to my cousin to keep her from falling down the troon pipe line. I feel like I've failed her so many times I don't have a right to be so depressed about this. I don't know.
lol this is partially why I don't want children, I would be such a clusterfuck of a parent.

Eta: and fair on the confusion, we've been together physically since 23, married at 25, so still quite young, I suppose.

 

[Prehistoric Jazz]

All you can do is recognize that you've tried, and until she has a moment of clarity and realizes how badly she's acted and what she lost out on, any attempt at connection from your end may likely be rebuffed. It may be that you have to accept that you can't fix it, and focus your attention on other things you can do.

 

[FedPostalService]

You know not every gay is a flamer right? Even other gays don't like queens/twinks as much, despite what the internet tells you.
A lot of gays are straight passing ans just want to mind their own business. Saying every gay is a faggot is kinda like saying every man is a degenerate rapist.
Hell I've been friends with a guy who looked like a trucker, big fat guy, quiet, loved nascar, ended up being extremely gay.

I’ve worked with a bunch of gays who are just regular lads and hate the lisping prancing faggot types.