Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[teriyakiburns]

If I ask what's on my husbands mind and he says nothing, he means it.

Finally, someone who understands...

 

[Oggdo Bogdo]

I can't fucking stand this shit anymore, my friend of 7 years has wound up turning into Buffalo Fucking Bill, so if I dump a wall of text I'm sorry.

After his Mom died, he got himself into a "friend group" that enables his disgusting crossdressing fetish, buying him clothes, underwear, waist trainers and even fetishwear such as fursuits and (I don't even know the fucking name) "woman suits."
He goes to conventions with these friends while wearing this shit and even wears it around the house when his roommates aren't around.
I told his dumbass for years that it's a slippery slope and that he needs to stop this shit, only to be told that "he doesn't have a problem."
He hit full fucking schizo over the past year, constantly bringing up Trump, Elon and how "trans rites" are being removed in the US, Israel and Russia bad etc. All the fucking checkboxes for crazy are checked, minus the actual troonery.

As soon as the election results hit, he's been shilling Bluesky to me as this "superior platform," like the good fucking redditor he is, trying to tell me that they're "definitely" curbing the pedophiles and that it's such an inclusive space, without all the "nazis."
I check his Bluesky account, what do I find: "she/her" "tee hee I'm a transfem" "I feel so bad for America"
At this fucking point I bet he's even doing hormones.

This dumb nigga has been lying through his teeth for at least the past year, getting himself into a cycle of gooning and seething, wearing fetish gear daily and larping as a respectable member of society when all he does is sit on his ass and play WoW and Path of Exile all day.

I legitimately considered this man my best friend at one point and now he's become one of the most repugnant things I've ever seen, deluding himself into thinking he's pretty when he's a fucking 6'5 31 year old man wearing a latex woman suit. I feel so fucking guilty that I couldn't stop him and it breaks my heart to essentially see my best friend suffer ego death over a fucking fetish.

All this because of fucking Daddy issues and a psychologist that didn't do their fucking job, but instead told him it was a "healthy coping method" for his Mother's death.

Spoiler: I have seen things you people wouldn't believe

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Finally, someone who understands...

Yeah it just took me 2 years of living with him to figure it out lmao.

 

[Wonderland foster child]

A guy I was close friends with for over a decade is speedrunning his "transition" and I would be grateful if anyone could point me to sources which clearly lay out the risks of men taking estrogen.

I don't think it will dissuade him, but it might help me gauge the odds of his killing himself. I don't think he's actively suicidal but I would not be in the slightest bit surprised to learn he'd ended his life, given that he hit the trifecta of childhood abuse, computer programming, and anime and has stepped away from nearly all of his friends in favour of his new cult buddies.

 

[Phil's Oddly Shaped Head]

A guy I was close friends with for over a decade is speedrunning his "transition" and I would be grateful if anyone could point me to sources which clearly lay out the risks of men taking estrogen.

I don't think it will dissuade him, but it might help me gauge the odds of his killing himself.

41%

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

it might help me gauge the odds of his killing himself

The chances are high because too much estrogen causes depression in men. Why don't you take a look at the transgender studies thread. Perhaps you can find studies there. The troon won't care that estrogen is harmful. The mentally deranged troon ex boyfriend of a friend of mine has scoliosis and his hands are shaking all the time for unknown reasons and he doesn't give a fuck. He only talks about how the hrt will magically turn his nearly 6'6 hulking ogre body into a dainty woman's body.

 

[Wonderland foster child]

Perfect, thank you - I found exactly what I needed.

He only talks about how the hrt will magically turn his nearly 6'6 hulking ogre body into a dainty woman's body.

The one thing my guy has going for him is that he's the average height for a woman, but dainty he will never be.

 

[Aunt Carol]

even fetishwear such as fursuits and (I don't even know the fucking name) "woman suits."
[...] All the fucking checkboxes for crazy are checked, minus the actual troonery.

I don't know how anyone could look at those latex woman suits and think "well at least he isn't a troon."

You see one of those suits, it's like spotting the metastatic lesion before finding the original source of cancer. Dude still has cancer; dude has the bad cancer.

psychologist that didn't do their fucking job, but instead told him it was a "healthy coping method" for his Mother's death.

I hate to defend psychologists, given everything, but remember when you hear "oh my therapist said this was fine" "my therapist said you were the problem" that you're trusting the speaker to relay their therapist's words correctly. Lot of this on social media.

But none of this is your fault. You had a friend who quietly turned into a literal skinwalker. It's going to hurt every time you interact with him because even if his personality is gone, swapped out for a troon hive-unit, he's using the facial muscles and vocal processors of your friend, and humans are sentimental.

 

[Rotter]

Sorry, I can't do the reply-link thing Oggdo Bogdo, if that is indeed your real name.

How much time are you realisticly willing to spend, extracting your friend from some perverted circus that obviously turns him on?

 

[Oggdo Bogdo]

I don't know how anyone could look at those latex woman suits and think "well at least he isn't a troon."

You see one of those suits, it's like spotting the metastatic lesion before finding the original source of cancer. Dude still has cancer; dude has the bad cancer.

From what I've experienced, it's the tactic of gaslighting you into thinking things aren't as bad as they are because you trust them. Emotional blackmail is a hell of a drug but when you wake up from it everything hurts, realizing your trust and empathy has been used to further someone's agenda.

I hate to defend psychologists, given everything, but remember when you hear "oh my therapist said this was fine" "my therapist said you were the problem" that you're trusting the speaker to relay their therapist's words correctly. Lot of this on social media.

But none of this is your fault. You had a friend who quietly turned into a literal skinwalker. It's going to hurt every time you interact with him because even if his personality is gone, swapped out for a troon hive-unit, he's using the facial muscles and vocal processors of your friend, and humans are sentimental.

Oh absolutely, in hindsight, if he's willing to lie to me about all this shit, he's definitely lying about the therapist. There is a caveat though, the country I live in, therapists legitimately can't question you on troonery, they have to go along with everything they say or they get fired, it's not an official law or anything but it's very much implied, probably using discrimination laws as an excuse.
The skinwalker part is the most painful thing, it looks and sounds like your friend but there's nothing behind the eyes except perversion.

Sorry, I can't do the reply-link thing Oggdo Bogdo, if that is indeed your real name.

How much time are you realisticly willing to spend, extracting your friend from some perverted circus that obviously turns him on?

I'm probably gonna cut my losses, there's not really anything left of him besides the gaming hobbies. The emotional blackmail is too much, you can't have a discussion about the world without him throwing whataboutisms at you that don't really make sense and he's way too open about his degeneracy with me, as if I'd ever properly understand him. Just for reference, I found out about his degeneracy years back when he lent me his phone to look something up for him and links to all this shit popped up on his phone, apparently that counts as an invitation to these people.
If I had a chance to bring him back, I would but he's drunk far too much koolaid. As I said before, he's essentially suffered ego death, I can't reverse the damage and I don't think he wants me to, very much akin to a drug addict who refuses to quit.

 

[AwfulWillow]

Had a friend troon out at the start of the year. He's in his 30's, fat, and will never pass. He's way too deep into the lefty shit to save. At this point I'm just counting down to the inevitable.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Had a very good thought recently.

Would you still try to keep your friends and family if they turned into a flesh eating zombie?
No, seriously. I want you to honestly think about it.

Not saying to take them out of course, however the end is the same, they're infected. There might be a slim, small, microscopic chance that they can overcome the virus, but that's in the single digit percentage. What makes them so special that they'd be an exeption? Are they particularly strong willed? When I say that, I mean- if they got addicted to something, could they cut cold turkey and not relapse?

Of course it's hard, it is literally a zombification. The body is there, the voice is (maybe) similar, it can talk similar enough, but the person you know is dead. They even say this with their "dead name". So treat them like it, the oerson you knew is dead. Even if they pull through eventually, they have been marked as horrifically mentally ill and prone to suggestion. It isn't a weakness, just a fact. Fall for a cult, you're 10x more likely to fall into another.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Fall for a cult, you're 10x more likely to fall into another.

I haven't studied cults, per se, but I've taken a keen interest into cults (behavior, tactics, dynamics, etc), and if my understanding is correct, you are balls-on accurate with this one.

People who fall into cults have a hole in themselves that need to be filled with something. They aren't good with coping, so they find someone or something that promises to be the singular answer to their problems.

I would probably dive into the literature like it's a spa-grade hot spring if there were ever a desire to study how transgenderism became a cult, because, as I said, I'm not an expert, but the signs are all there: offering "miracle" solutions to problems, strongly encouraging breaking family ties, demand for unquestioned beliefs. I'm sure there are a few more.

I'm getting to the point where it's an unhealthy fascination for me, the whole transgender thing. And I think a lot of it is because, and I've said this here before, I was very likely to be a victim of it had I been born two decades later. But I know this because there are things wrong with me. There are problems, that I did go through the whole "miracle cure" stages of my life. I never really got sucked in the way many people do, and I tend to try and rationalize things in my head before diving in these days, but there's always a part of me that wonders "is this the final answer, the thing that's going to make me happy for the rest of my life and fix all of the fatal flaws I think I have?"

I know better. I honestly do. But that neural pathway still exists in my head and it's always going to be something that gets patched over, not repaired.

 

[Oggdo Bogdo]

Had a very good thought recently.

Would you still try to keep your friends and family if they turned into a flesh eating zombie?
No, seriously. I want you to honestly think about it.

Not saying to take them out of course, however the end is the same, they're infected. There might be a slim, small, microscopic chance that they can overcome the virus, but that's in the single digit percentage. What makes them so special that they'd be an exeption? Are they particularly strong willed? When I say that, I mean- if they got addicted to something, could they cut cold turkey and not relapse?

Of course it's hard, it is literally a zombification. The body is there, the voice is (maybe) similar, it can talk similar enough, but the person you know is dead. They even say this with their "dead name". So treat them like it, the oerson you knew is dead. Even if they pull through eventually, they have been marked as horrifically mentally ill and prone to suggestion. It isn't a weakness, just a fact. Fall for a cult, you're 10x more likely to fall into another.

The saddest part is, these husks will cut you off for less than you would them because they can't stand facing reality. It's like sunlight to a vampire, they cannot exist in the same place.

The zombie analogy is very apt though, they clump together like a horde, they smell and look like shit and they're very happy to spread it to the unwilling.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

I haven't studied cults, per se, but I've taken a keen interest into cults (behavior, tactics, dynamics, etc), and if my understanding is correct, you are balls-on accurate with this one.

People who fall into cults have a hole in themselves that need to be filled with something. They aren't good with coping, so they find someone or something that promises to be the singular answer to their problems.

I would probably dive into the literature like it's a spa-grade hot spring if there were ever a desire to study how transgenderism became a cult, because, as I said, I'm not an expert, but the signs are all there: offering "miracle" solutions to problems, strongly encouraging breaking family ties, demand for unquestioned beliefs. I'm sure there are a few more.

I'm getting to the point where it's an unhealthy fascination for me, the whole transgender thing. And I think a lot of it is because, and I've said this here before, I was very likely to be a victim of it had I been born two decades later. But I know this because there are things wrong with me. There are problems, that I did go through the whole "miracle cure" stages of my life. I never really got sucked in the way many people do, and I tend to try and rationalize things in my head before diving in these days, but there's always a part of me that wonders "is this the final answer, the thing that's going to make me happy for the rest of my life and fix all of the fatal flaws I think I have?"

I know better. I honestly do. But that neural pathway still exists in my head and it's always going to be something that gets patched over, not repaired.

Having a hole inside is part of it. The other is general susceptibility. You THINK you know the tricks, and you sorta do, for that one cult. This leads to a funny feedback where you're so sure of yourself that you can miss neon red signs. Ask anybody who left a cult and into another. "Oh that'll never happen again, I know better"
It ironically makes you more naive, not knowledgeable.
Everyone, EVERYONE, can fall into a cult of the circumstances are right. Nobody is above it. Lose a family member, lose a lot of friends and fall into addiction? Prime grooming material.
Escape an abusive situation? Prime grooming material.
I've... not fallen into a cult but cult adjacent. If someone in a youtube video starts shouting demands, for example, I freeze up and almost automatically do what they say.
I don't react as strongly anymore, but it's incredibly hard to break. If I relax at all, I become more suseptable. So it isn't even patched up, it's a rubber band that's taught. Relax at all and you're fucked.

 

[missnaptime]

I haven't studied cults, per se, but I've taken a keen interest into cults (behavior, tactics, dynamics, etc), and if my understanding is correct, you are balls-on accurate with this one.

People who fall into cults have a hole in themselves that need to be filled with something.

They absolutely are a cult. I mentioned this in another thread, linking here, but take a look at the B.I.T.E model and see how many you can find that correlate with transgenderism.

post I made in srs horrors referring to this

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

All this because of fucking Daddy issues and a psychologist that didn't do their fucking job, but instead told him it was a "healthy coping method" for his Mother's death.

I hate to defend psychologists, given everything, but remember when you hear "oh my therapist said this was fine" "my therapist said you were the problem" that you're trusting the speaker to relay their therapist's words correctly. Lot of this on social media.

Shrinks can and will absolutely attempt to mk ultra you into transitioning if they're able to. I don't go near shrinks at all anymore for that reason. I hear too many horror stories to believe that social media by itself causes it, but I don't doubt that social media mostly affects the chronically online ones.

Would you still try to keep your friends and family if they turned into a flesh eating zombie?

No because they're a harm to myself and others.

When I say that, I mean- if they got addicted to something, could they cut cold turkey and not relapse?

Not with troondom specifically but that's already happened with literal addiction. Their mind was going before I was born and is literally almost gone with oncoming dementia. They never wanted or got help, this is not the type of person you willingly want in your life.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Shrinks can and will absolutely attempt to mk ultra you into transitioning if they're able to. I don't go near shrinks at all anymore for that reason. I hear too many horror stories to believe that social media by itself causes it, but I don't doubt that social media mostly affects the chronically online ones.

When my wife and I went through our crisis last year, she mentioned that towards the end of her getting the gender dysphoria diagnosis, her shrink at the quack clinic was insisting that she was more psychotic than she actually is, and that pooning out was the key to her getting better. All but directly threatened to commit her if she did not accept the gaslighting and diagnosis.

The process to starting HRT where I currently live is slightly longer than the appointment or two needed to get paperwork like at an informed consent clinic. From what I get, my wife realized she fucked up almost immediately but couldn’t get out easily. I believe it, too. I once heard part of a zoom meeting she had with her shrink (that I was only told was for “therapy”) where she was insisting that she kept hearing a noise on the shrink’s end that was bothering her. Even after she left the clinic, she would get “follow up” phone calls for the appointment she cancelled at least twice a week for a month.

All that on top of my reaction to the news lead her to not go through with starting T despite getting the diagnosis. She knows she’s female and hates that she now has that on her record. She fears what could happen because of it.

It’s a miracle that my wife still takes her anti depressants that she started at the clinic she transferred to, as well as her tennis elbow meds. While she still struggles with both, she claims that both are more manageable than they used to be. If she pooned out instead, both would’ve gone far worse. These quacks deserve the wall.

 

[Paper Machete]

The topic of therapists being tranny pushers was just brought up in another thread. Honestly, we need a thread itself documenting cases of therapists that do this. Anecdotal or not. It's clear there are a lot of them that do this. The cope that they had to go along with the tranny menace or else is all fake bullshit. It's always been a top down issue in institutionalized settings.

 

[Not A Bunny]

The topic of therapists being tranny pushers was just brought up in another thread. Honestly, we need a thread itself documenting cases of therapists that do this. Anecdotal or not. It's clear there are a lot of them that do this. The cope that they had to go along with the tranny menace or else is all fake bullshit. It's always been a top down issue in institutionalized settings.

I had a therapist recently. I told him about my struggles with identity and made it clear that in no uncertain terms will we not entertain the notion of me being transgender.

That worked out pretty well for me, even if I'm not seeing him anymore (I quit because I'm kind of tired of therapy and I just want to live without poring over my problems again and again).