Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Hard Right Cross-Claim]

At least for the FTM crowd, it can't be understated how much just being accepted and wanted for their feminine traits and concealed beauty can do to reverse that damage. Its part of the reason the hoodie thing is so prevalent in that specific group. They're concealing themselves because they don't feel wanted. I've seen several that went from being absolutely certain they were trans-whatever to looking forward to living normal lives and entertaining thoughts of parenthood (for those not already across the point of no return).

 

[SonicTheHedgehog5547]

I wish I could be like 99% of spergs on the internet who feel not grief, but indifference or even excitement whenever someone close troons out.
I don't even care at this point whether or not transitioning is a good decision and I just feel like, from my personal perspective, if I had a TRA mindset or something close to that it would just be so much easier.

 

[Dickinson's Real Deal]

Former coworker I kept in touch with (technically still just on leave?) trooned out and told me the other day. Time to quiet-quit a former memelord who will surely be sucked into the void.

I experienced this very same thing, albeit with more oversharing about having had suicidal thoughts and being super miserable before trans ideology offered him salvation. I've not cut contact because to me it's not that deep, and as an ex-2015 SJW type who stays in the loop, I can put on a somewhat effortless façade (not that this stuff constitutes too much of our conversation).

I do also remember during the lead-up to him telling me, he did ramp it up with the "trans rights!" sentiments. I saw it coming before he did, apparently, because he asserted he only figured it out about a week in advance of him telling me.

Sorry to edit, but I also just remembered (I can't remember if this was before and/or after he told me) that he kept trying to convince me that I was trans. There's another guy I knew who trooned out who also did the very same thing to me before he trooned out, but that's such a wild and hard to tell story without powerlevelling.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

I experienced this very same thing, albeit with more oversharing about having had suicidal thoughts and being super miserable before trans ideology offered him salvation. I've not cut contact because to me it's not that deep, and as an ex-2015 SJW type who stays in the loop, I can put on a somewhat effortless façade (not that this stuff constitutes too much of our conversation).

I do also remember during the lead-up to him telling me, he did ramp it up with the "trans rights!" sentiments. I saw it coming before he did, apparently, because he asserted he only figured it out about a week in advance of him telling me.

Sorry to edit, but I also just remembered (I can't remember if this was before and/or after he told me) that he kept trying to convince me that I was trans. There's another guy I knew who trooned out who also did the very same thing to me before he trooned out, but that's such a wild and hard to tell story without powerlevelling.

The facade isn't the problem, it's bearing witness to such a truth while you're helpless to do anything about it what so fucking ever. I'm not close either, but it's still a bell tolling the death of a real person and the birth of a demon skin suiting him.

And, indeed, it tried to spread. Fucking hell.

 

[Dickinson's Real Deal]

The facade isn't the problem, it's bearing witness to such a truth while you're helpless to do anything about it what so fucking ever. I'm not close either, but it's still a bell tolling the death of a real person and the birth of a demon skin suiting him.

And, indeed, it tried to spread. Fucking hell.

I do take solace in the fact that it turns out that his online social circle is surprisingly mostly (non-tranny) men. There have been times when I've seen him where it almost felt like he was silently dropping the whole charade and pretending it never happened, but then later he'll talk about being trans again.

 

[LillyTheBestGirl]

So sorry fren. But it’s better to know handmaiden status sooner rather than later. Her breaking things off with you over it was an indication that she wasn’t open to simply agreeing to disagree either. Bullet dodged. Spin again!

Thanks. The saddest part is that I feel like this is not something you can agree to disagree - we have two different perceptions of reality.

Feels like if you find a sane person in a place like Seattle, Portland, or San Francisco, then you're very lucky indeed.
I'm not so far gone as to say it's impossible, but I don't envy your search.

Statistically it should be possible, so just gotta keep trying. I don't really want to move because besides people I like everything about this area.

She is a true believer so for her the trans cult has the first priority. You would have to submit to the cult so you doged a bullet. You will find someone better who isn't a cult lumatic.

She was referring to her tranny ex as "he" so maybe one day she'll break through the conditioning.

 

[Deer Warts]

It was a dream. It was a stupid dream, but it was my dream.

We had the kind of love most people can only dream about. When it ended there was blame to go around. Finding out he was involved with another woman was a relief; I knew then that my efforts to keep the family together never really stood a chance. How much did I love him? I offered to be sister-wives.

He rid himself of me. My feelings went into cryonic suspension. He was someone else's husband now and my love was no longer appropriate. I was cordial but distant with him (and her) as the children grew. When they became young adults, something lovely happened -- his "new" wife and I developed a genuine bond. And I thought ... they are older now ... perhaps I'll spend holidays with the family, become, in some way, part of it again. I dreamed of turning to him, someday, and saying, "I am so weary, I have waited so long, wandered so long without you, can't I please just come home?"

We would be sister-wives. An odd little elderly throuple. We used to joke about it -- even when we were old and senile and didn't know who anyone was any longer, "I know I'd still pick you." One of the last things I said to him before the divorce was, "When you are an old man, who will cut the hair in your ears?" Because I never thought that would be anyone but me.

I'm allowed to grieve the boy and the man I loved ,with every fiber of my being, every beat of my heart, every strand of my soul. Who loved me so much he'd tell me about it for long minutes in the dark, thinking me asleep. never knowing I heard every word.

There's so much I want to say, so much it would help to discuss. I don't think I have ever felt so alone. But there's a non-zero chance he will see this. I will be respectful, always, but I can't refrain from putting these words out into the world.

I have grieved him once, in the wake of the divorce. How to deal with the happy memories, the recollection of our joy? I chose to pretend he had died, still loving me, and that made it possible not to erase fifteen years of my life.

So, I will mourn him again. I'll mourn a dream that was never really anything but just that, a dream. It's time to let it go. To let him go, again.

Savage grief.

 

[Cuckoman]

She is hot but I am a) heterosexual and b) happily married. In all seriousness one of the major reasons this sucks on a personal level is that they were our best "couple" friends. It's hard to find another couple to hang out with where everybody gets along and doesn't have any interest in some kind of swinger degeneracy.

Well. Either stay back and let him be his "true self" and hope he will grow out of it and see reason (he won't).
Or just go hard and shame and mock him out of these delusions.
You have nothing to lose. Do nothing and he is lost forever. Or try brutally shaming the troon shit out of him before it is too late.

 

[Bill's Due]

I wish I could be like 99% of spergs on the internet who feel not grief, but indifference or even excitement whenever someone close troons out.
I don't even care at this point whether or not transitioning is a good decision and I just feel like, from my personal perspective, if I had a TRA mindset or something close to that it would just be so much easier.

Please do NOT fall into this mindset. That's how idpol/far leftists win, by making normal and sane people "burn out" from defending against them.

 

[Cloudbusting]

In the past year, I’ve found out two old friends from high school have transitioned (just learned about the second one today). It’s so surreal and upsetting. Neither of them were particularly masculine girls— one was a little lesbian and the other was a fujoshi. They were both dorky girls, why is that so impossible nowadays? This shit targets weird kids so hard, I’m so exhausted by it.

 

[Bill's Due]

In the past year, I’ve found out two old friends from high school have transitioned (just learned about the second one today). It’s so surreal and upsetting. Neither of them were particularly masculine girls— one was a little lesbian and the other was a fujoshi. They were both dorky girls, why is that so impossible nowadays? This shit targets weird kids so hard, I’m so exhausted by it.

Anyone who has a hint of that shit will turn. aka guys who think they're femboys as well. Furfags too.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Anyone who has a hint of that shit will turn. aka guys who think they're femboys as well. Furfags too.

Femboys are already infected, I think, but with the "weird girls" it's the groups they're falling into, the pooner colonization of female fandoms and hobbies. Weird girls are often just late-bloomers, but that makes it easy for predators to get them during their prolonged phase as moist, blind, undefended pupae.

 

[Scoia'tael]

So I can't reply to my own post but I made this one about 2 years ago in a fit of grief and I want to give a positive update.

She is 18 and 8 months. Has moved back in with my mother and their bond is closer than ever, no top surgery has materialized, she's wearing a dress to prom and has a very well adjusted boyfriend (not like either of those last two things are particularly important - I wore a suit to my prom - but still worth mentioning). I saw her last weekend and we went to museums and got coffee and shared laughs and stories like all siblings should. She got into college on a full ride and is becoming a solidly well-adjusted adult who has come to terms with whatever discomfort about herself she felt in adolescence and been able to if not get rid of it at least move beyond it. She will always be autistic and always a little odd, probably (like everyone) always a little uncomfortable in her sense of self but she's here and she's in contact and she's safe with a family that loves her more than anything.

The wait and see approach was really the key here - no surgery or hormones until 18, no outright rejection or outright acceptance just "when you're 18 we'll revisit". She is just herself and we love her. I think that unwavering unconditionality (even though I was furious and our mother was grief stricken) was important. Love your kids, man, and that doesn't mean give into their every whim. Sometimes it means actively not giving them what they want in the moment.
In the OP I mentioned our mom undergoing cancer treatment at the time and I think that was the catalyst. I was working abroad, our other sister was in college, and she was a sophomore in high school home alone with our dying mother (who is in full remission thanks be to fucking god) and the stress of that is enough to make anyone spiral into crisis. Looking for pinch points, especially in young girls, is key to helping them.

Idk just wanted to update everyone. Something not so doomer for this sub.

 

[Fapcop]

Nice to hear a happy ending in this subforum!

It’s like all the data shows. Almost all cases of rapid onset gender dysphoria with young girls somehow clear themselves up once the person is 18-20.

 

[cis mans burden]

I finally joined up after years of lurking, mostly so I could tell my story, at least to let it all out when no one else would listen or sympathize.

My longest friend I met at age 11, on an online kids hangout. We were just two gals growing up together. We were there for each other through the trials are tribulations of being a nerdy shy girl in a big world where real life pals were hard to come by. She'd been my pal for almost ten years when she came out as a pooner, I had always been more conservative leaning even as a kid, which was rare, so this kinda blew me away. I felt entirely the grief process of losing a friend. The crying, the bargaining, and so on.

They always say the same shit, of course, that they're still the same person and blahblahblah. But even then I asked if she was just doing this because she hated her abusive mother and wanted to distance herself from the very idea of female identity. She admitted that was part of it. So I can't say she didn't lack any awareness at least.

I've kept her in my life for another ten years. Why? Because she's a pathetic NEET and I feel sorry for her. She can't even bother to go out and get on hormones or do surgery or whatever, because it's just too hard bros to get help, even in a blue state.

I'm so happy that Trump will probably delete all trans care, so even if she stops being a shutin terminally online weirdo she will have no choice but to keep her body whole and safe. Maybe one day she'll get over it. But I doubt it. She's only gone further gender deranged. The only way I've kept the friendship civil is that we rarely speak to each other, and if we do, on surface level things.

I hope all that post here will see those they care about return to sanity one day. But also, TTD, 41 to 100%, and so on. Have a great weekend.

 

[Donkey Kongus]

I've kept her in my life for another ten years. Why? Because she's a pathetic NEET and I feel sorry for her. She can't even bother to go out and get on hormones or do surgery or whatever, because it's just too hard bros to get help, even in a blue state.

I'm so happy that Trump will probably delete all trans care, so even if she stops being a shutin terminally online weirdo she will have no choice but to keep her body whole and safe. Maybe one day she'll get over it. But I doubt it. She's only gone further gender deranged. The only way I've kept the friendship civil is that we rarely speak to each other, and if we do, on surface level things.

I hope all that post here will see those they care about return to sanity one day. But also, TTD, 41 to 100%, and so on. Have a great weekend.

Fuck, that's rough. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. No harm in doing that.
Quasi-related, it's such a nothing example, but I finally unfollowed a cosplayer that I had been following for years because she's transitioning. She's been on T for a bit now and is doing those "This is my voice X weeks on testosterone" videos. I just thought "Well that's a shame..." and unfollowed her.
I think I'm just echoing what a lot of other Kiwis have said here; there's someone uniquely crushing about watching the nerdy/awkward girls get indoctrinated into troonism.

 

[tipsy otter]

This isn’t quite “Losing a loved one” but I was quite frustrated nonetheless, if you all would have me here…

Recently was back in the classroom with the rest of my med school class. One of my male classmates just looked different—slightly more shy than before even, slouching forward more, different way of carrying himself, that kind of vague stuff. And wait—breast buds? On a slim guy? I later saw the outline of a training bra under his shirt, so I guess that confirmed my vague suspicions about the ?breast development. But I was simultaneously infuriated (ummm you’re close to 30 and going to be a doctor and have seen a lot of people’s bits AND you should understand science properly, how could you think that transgenderism is credible) and trying to be sympathetic (maybe you are on new psychotropics and is unfortunately lactating as a side effect). In the back of my mind I wondered what kind of degeneracy and internet corruption had infected him, if any… but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. We’d never been friends per se but you know, professional courtesy. He still had short hair and was generally as well-groomed as before, so who knew, right?

A couple days ago another classmate forwarded on a link that my newly en-boobed classmate had shared from TikTok. Clicking in I could see the username and profile photo. Dead-eyed selfie, long-haired wig, attempt at basic makeup.

Sigh. (Also frustrated at whoever’s giving this guy cross-sex hormones, who is in all likelihood an actual doctor)

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've kept her in my life for another ten years. Why? Because she's a pathetic NEET and I feel sorry for her. She can't even bother to go out and get on hormones or do surgery or whatever, because it's just too hard bros to get help, even in a blue state.

A pooner friend I slowly gave up on was like this. I'm glad she hasn't medically messed herself up, but at the same time--it's been more than ten years, "bro," what does "trans" even mean except an excuse for why you can't ever be expected to improve and grow, and a reason everyone else has to coddle you forever?

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Sigh. (Also frustrated at whoever’s giving this guy cross-sex hormones, who is in all likelihood an actual doctor)

Don't forget all the "lucky" patients seeking medical care who instead get ambushed by a troondoctor.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I've thrown in the towel long ago but at this point I'm just openly berating him. I realized that he does not lie (according to himself), but simply state very loophole'y things. "I only fuck really good friends" is a nuts thing to say, especially as someone who claims to be romantic and better than common troon whores, but to follow it up months later with "but I do snuggle and suck on other people" is crazy. To openly mock those who engage in onlyfans content and whore out, something I almost respect compared to this kind of self-delusional clownshow, while yet climbing down the ladder further is just heartbreaking.

I wish I had saved the screencap I once had cause it explains the situation so well. It was something along the lines of "Umm I didn't wanna fuck my troon friend and now he's fucking another troon instead but we're all just friends and not dating. Now I don't feel as good of a friend cause we didn't have sex :/". Nigga, sex is sacred and meaningful. God fucking damn it do I hate this normalization of something that isn't: Fucking for fun.

Don't forget all the "lucky" patients seeking medical care who instead get ambushed by a troondoctor.

Doctors have quotas to meet: Would you rather put the single mother on crack cocaine or be the "proud ally" in the eyes of society by enabling some fat incel HRT at 19, who's gonna die alone anyway? It's the sad reality.