Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[nyblanc]

Millions upon millions of people smoke da herb and don't troon out.

I would say it doesn't cause it, but it's certainly a catalyst. Turns off their brain which in turn lets their AGP dick do the decision making.
Best case, marijuana makes you retarded for a couple hours. Worst case (& with many troons), is rationalizing that retarded behavior after the fact, or chronically using so that's how you always think. Basically in every case of someone I knew trooning out the point-of-no-return was them getting into drugs. Usually such substances become a stronger habit post-transition as well, as these people essentially need to cripple their logical mind to feel at ease with their irreversible decisions.

I agree that they're attention-addicts, but you can still be that while also abusing drugs.

 

[Sandshrew]

I thought I could be friends with people that have differing views, but that seems to be impossible when they view opposition as inherently immoral and evil. Despite lending MY CAR AND HOME to someone for MONTHS, I am considered an evil hateful bigot who never did enough to care for this person. And my crashouts, which were prompted by this person's codependent behaviors and bringing others over till 5AM, was deemed as evidence for "me being the crazy one".

I try not to bring up my views unprompted. But I honestly just can't help myself if you're asking why your life is shit and you're miserable, because then I have no choice but to say it's because of your drug/sex/porn addictions. Miraculously, I stopped needing therapy to feel good about myself, once this person and their friend group was removed from my life.

Apparently, I'm also the bad guy for pointing out one of the people in our friend group was blatantly abusing a woman. The woman in question was poor, the daughter of a drug addict, and was roommates with a man who would have sex with her every night but claim "not to be romantically attracted to her" and actively hit on every other woman in existence, then gaslighting her for being upset. And I'm supposed to be okay with this behavior? Liberal shit is a mind virus. If you're "best friends with benefits who want to live together indefinitely", then you're in a relationship and your boyfriend is a noncommittal porn addict who will never be satisfied with anything.

It really is shit like this that makes me want to become antisocial and avoid telling anyone about my home. Because apparently my only value is someone they can ask favors from, and I am "too unwoke and old school" to understand the nuances of "polyamorous open relationship lifestyles" and whatever bullshit. I could power level even more about this, but it's pointless. I'm not even upset anymore about them being gone. If anything, this whole fiasco has taught me that what my mom has said throughout my life, about my family being forever and friends being temporary, really is true.

Edit: Said person wasn't even a tranny herself, but her friend group was mostly trannies that always bitched about very easily avoidable problems (like polyamory jealousy, being unemployed despite studying art and doing drugs constantly) until late at night, keeping my ass awake in the other room.

 

[Lovely Kin]

Despite lending MY CAR AND HOME to someone for MONTHS, I am considered an evil hateful bigot who never did enough to care for this person. And my crashouts, which were prompted by this person's codependent behaviors and bringing others over till 5AM, was deemed as evidence for "me being the crazy one".

The sooner you get away from these people the better. Nothing is more mentally draining than dealing with someone who leeches off of your emotions. It's hard to do, but the sooner you go no contact with them, they will gradually move away from you. As life goes on, the more I learned that the sooner I recognized the signs of someone being an emotional leech who blames everything on you, the better I turned out.

I believe there are still forever friends out there, but it gets harder to make those when you get older. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Lightning]

Tell him "so the therapist was a woman." The biggest thing for men in therapy (imo) is that you get a male doctor. We'll always feel that innate need to not look weak in front of women and even if its not conscious will cause you to forget to hammer on points that really need addressing. To me it sounds like he's just autistic and is stuck on a new fixation.

Unfortunately my update does not come on a positive note. He has revealed to me that he has been growing long hair, painting nails, wearing skirts and thigh highs for a while now, something that completely took me by surprise, out of a seemingly very late teenage rebellion, "mother told me boys aren't supposed to do this so I'm doing it just cause".

Seemingly he does not consider the facts that he has basically no irl friends, stays home all day, lives off welfare and literally can't work are causing his self-esteem issues. But no, picking female characters in games and dressing as a poor parody of a woman is totally going to give "validation, excitement and energy". Where did everything go so wrong?

 

[ScurvyRat]

Said person wasn't even a tranny herself, but her friend group was mostly trannies that always bitched about very easily avoidable problems (like polyamory jealousy, being unemployed despite studying art and doing drugs constantly) until late at night, keeping my ass awake in the other room.

I have a similar story from college.

I started seeing this art hoe, it was casual. I'm not shy about my hate for trannies so after our first date she was saying dumb shit like "You know I live with a trans person"
I told her I don't really care but I don't want to meet the man pretending to be a woman. Apparently, she went home after this and told her roommates that I was anti-trans and they told her "omg he's a NAZI you can't see him again!!"
Well, that certainly didn't keep her from seeing me.
After a couple weeks they found out that she was still hanging out with me and they BLASTED her on social media, saying that since she was sleeping with me, she was anti-trans and a NAZI by proxy. They took the bed from her room, idk what they did with it, trashed all her food, generally made her life a living hell, JUST for sleeping with a "Nazi"
I never met these people. They didn't even bother to try and get to know me.
Basically, this tranny and her other roommates ruined this girl's social life, had her evicted, and I ended up having to help her move back across the country to her parent's house. All because she was involved with someone who they disagreed with.
I remember her crying saying how these people were the reason she had moved to this city and she felt totally betrayed.
She cut contact with me after she moved and last I saw she was hanging around a DIFFERENT group of trannies and leftists. I don't even feel bad anymore, clearly she never learned her lesson.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

They took the bed from her room, idk what they did with it, trashed all her food, generally made her life a living hell

this tranny and her other roommates ruined this girl's social life, had her evicted

Do you know who else does this?

Scientology. One "wrong" word and they will punish you hard.

Trans ideologists are cultists.

 

[Agarathium1066]

I thought I could be friends with people that have differing views, but that seems to be impossible when they view opposition as inherently immoral and evil.

You are not allowed to do so as they view you as a lower caste to them. You are to proffer up all that you have and are without question as they are above you "disenfranchised". Thus their needs automatically supersede yours. Abusing a woman and drugs? Doesn't matter, they're above you and these social expectations do not apply. They do to you of course and will be utilized as often as they must in order to keep you under their thumb.

If others are going to cut you off after this then they really weren't your friends they're just leeches. Sadly leeches hurt to pull off of you but you will recover.

 

[StarryGreenEyes95]

Trans ideologists are cultists.

I agree with this 100%.

 

[Rich Evans Simp]

I’ve been anticipating this for a long time, and now I’ve discovered that someone I once loved very much, and who had a profound impact on my life, is a They/Them going by the feminized version of their male name. We are no longer in contact, but I’m not blocked on socials. It started with a curiously vehement defense of trannies during the first Trump administration.

He had some protective factors from troonout - he got girlfriends/sex easily in high school and college despite being a huge nerd, had a loving father, solid IRL friends (GenX so this is basically a given). I would never have predicted this until Clown World happened. He’s always been a super lefty, but you used to be able to be a super lefty and a hetero white man.

Nerdy guy who works in computers, moved to the west coast, gained weight, started balding and therefore no longer pulled nice looking women, isolated from longtime friends - and bam. Recipe for another tech troon. No photos available but I imagine it’s horrific.

 

[FedPostalService]

Sad, frustrating wife update.

I am very sorry to read all that and you've put up with a lot and supported her so much but it might be time to move on. This isn't going to get better and you're throwing away your own happiness on someone incapable of her own.

There's no way of saying this without seeming like an unfeeling dick but no matter what you do now will be thrown back in your face. She is not well mentally and she probably will never be unless she's on so much medication that she may as well be a different person that than the one you fell in love with and watched slowly fall apart.

Now is the time to think of yourself and your own future.

 

[Bill's Due]

I would say it doesn't cause it, but it's certainly a catalyst. Turns off their brain which in turn lets their AGP dick do the decision making.
Best case, marijuana makes you retarded for a couple hours. Worst case (& with many troons), is rationalizing that retarded behavior after the fact, or chronically using so that's how you always think. Basically in every case of someone I knew trooning out the point-of-no-return was them getting into drugs. Usually such substances become a stronger habit post-transition as well, as these people essentially need to cripple their logical mind to feel at ease with their irreversible decisions.

I agree that they're attention-addicts, but you can still be that while also abusing drugs.

My friend of 15+ years I spoke about earlier in this thread was a huge proponent of weed.

It was one of many signs that indicated he was going to troon out. He had many, MANY things pointing to his likelihood to troon. He had a horrible family life growing up (dad is a deadbeat, mom was drug addict and never took care of the kids), got into programming after working at Best Buy for a few years, "roleplayed" a female way too often in online games to get free shit, etc. etc.

Then he started playing Final Fantasy XIV, which is troon central.

Then a few years later, he imports an illegal from Chile that he met on FFXIV (wtf?) who's a raging feminazi and a few years later he troons out. And yes, he still smokes that trash now. And yes, he calls himself a lesbian woman. I fucking hate trans ideology so much.

Funny thing is since my ChatGPT has been sculpted to have an ideology similar to that of someone who posts here (i.e. mines), I asked it about my troon friend to see if it lines up with what some folks here and myself was thinking (that I should just leave). I told it that it sounds like he trooned out as some stupid means of dealing with his mental issues and basically gave it the whole story that I posted earlier in this thread. It agreed I just need to get out. I am fighting uphill and outnumbered in that space and it's best I get out before I end up dropping a troon bomb on them before getting kicked out.

 

[Lovely Kin]

Update on my ex-friend I lost to transgenderism: It turns out that he made me into a villain behind my back. I know I shouldn't care, but I was the one who listened to him and gave him advice. Now his friends, and maybe himself were calling me awful for "rejecting him," and trying to "force my yankee politics to him." Which I never did, we mostly discussed history and the occasional political event in our countries. He was the one who did the blocking and the one who got mad at me. A mutual friend we had has been observing him, and says he does not hold any jobs and has unironically started calling the UK, the country he lives in, "terf island" I wonder if he was always meant to be lost, or easily influenced by someone. All of this time I spent with him, and now I'm just a villain to him because I questioned how it happened. Don't have any pictures, but he's claimed my ex-friend looks really awful when he saw him in person. Like has no idea how to dress as a woman.

Nerdy guy who works in computers, moved to the west coast, gained weight, started balding and therefore no longer pulled nice looking women, isolated from longtime friends - and bam. Recipe for another tech troon. No photos available but I imagine it’s horrific.

They always troon out when they start balding and gaining weight. The ones who start in their thirties turn into the most horrific ones, and the most disgusting sex pests. It's strange though, while tech troons are common, he grew up with a stable life. Most troon back stories are always "absent dad, deadbeat mom," with the occasional disturbing admission they fetishized their sisters.

"roleplayed" a female way too often in online games to get free shit, etc. etc.

With the rise of chatbots and people roleplaying with them, I wonder how many are going to troon out because the chatbot says something stupid like "You're a wonderful woman!" and they take it too seriously.

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

We had the kind of love most people can only dream about. When it ended there was blame to go around. Finding out he was involved with another woman was a relief; I knew then that my efforts to keep the family together never really stood a chance. How much did I love him? I offered to be sister-wives.

You have lost your mind. Your love is only in your head. None of these action described are of a man who love you.

Not a fanfic. Believe what you want about my life.

>Join date 2025

I sort of get why some sad incel would fall into the whole “if I can’t get a gf I’ll become the gf” thing, but why someone with a whole ass wife and kid would...

Porn addiction

 

[Deer Warts]

You have lost your mind. Your love is only in your head. None of these action described are of a man who love you.

Loved. I certainly believed he did love me, and I think he believed he loved me, if that makes sense. With this, it's confirmed in some ways what I always suspected: for reasons I won't get into, he is a deeply broken person. (He himself admits this.) In my opinion, he doesn't love himself (based on what I know about his past and things he said and did during the marriage). If you don't love yourself, can you really be said to love someone else? What is love, anyway? Finding a person who buys into the good things you believe about yourself, and who reflects the best version of yourself back at you? I can almost be that cynical.

When this originally went down, I was devastated. Now, I am grateful. For years I haven't wanted to accept that the man I loved and married doesn't exist anymore. I still exist, I feel like exactly the same person I did then! and in that frame of mind it was hard to believe that he was any different. I so wanted to believe he was still in there, somewhere, and even if there was never love between us again, there could at least be connection and acknowledgement of shared experiences. I didn't realize how badly I wanted that until with these actions he took it away.

Now, I feel like a completely different person. Seeing him in his new chosen form made it crystal clear that he really is dead to me (as are all past versions of ourselves, whether or not I like it that way). This isn't malicious on my part. In his own words, he "wishes he'd known this" about himself before he met me, and it seems common among trans people to treat their pre-transition selves as never having existed and to expect others to do likewise. In trans logic he's always been this way, and the person I knew did not merely cease to exist, "he" never existed at all.

Now, after the finality of seeing him, I'm finding I can truly process the shared memories I've repressed for years, both because they were too painful to recall and because I hoped to share them with him again someday, in some fashion. Now that he's completely gone, it finally feels like these memories are mine, wholly mine. Like I've gotten back a huge piece of my past that was only a black hole for years.

My life, even the parts of it that I shared with him, now belongs to me and me alone. I feel whole again. Free. I see my present in a very different light, and knowing he will never be a part of my future has opened up an entire world of possibility. What he has done, no matter how much it may have hurt at first, is turning out to be the best thing that anyone has ever done for me.

*
In case it's unclear, no, I didn't emotionally process my divorce when it happened. See: strange new city, young children who needed me to be emotionally present. I didn't process it at first because it would have interfered with my ability to be the mother my children needed and deserved, and later because of my hope that I'd form some sort of relationship with him. Better late than never, I suppose.

 

[BunchofMunch]

I think I need to vent here again, because someone I actually care about might have fallen to the gendercult...

We have been friends since early childhood, and she used to be one of my closest friends at that. As we grew older and started different schools in different cities, we grew apart a bit, but we used to hang out every now and then still and every time it was like we had never been apart, it was always such a natural and relaxed friendship. We did have different political views, but always respected each other's opinions and could both discuss our differences and find some common ground without it ever turning into a fight. It was very refreshing and a great way to sort out your own values and putting words on them in those formative years of high school especially.

Then, as years passed, she developed some mental issues and got quite depressed. In the mean time, I was building my future, finding love and starting a family, and I'm ashamed to admit that I was not being there for her. In my (weak) defense, I knew she had other friends to talk to and assumed they were supporting her. And she managed to get her doctorate in a scientific field, which also made me think she was doing better (though I noticed she had packed on a lot of weight when I was there to see her defend her thesis).

Anyway, her doctorate celebration was the last time I saw her in person, and that was almost three years ago now. Forward to a month or two ago, I noticed she had a telegram account, and that her profile picture was one of those typical troon cartoon avatars, so I opened it to look closer. And there it was: some genderflag crap as pins on her profile pic. She is not a person that would just think "oh, pretty colours" and add to their profile, she is way too smart for those kinds of things. And now that I had seen that, I started noticing that some of the fucked up troon propaganda videos that Instagram pester me with had been "liked" by her....

I am devastated. I know it's not a lot to go by, but I can't really appear after three years and go "hey, I noticed you were liking some troon shit on Instagram, are you retarded now?", so I feel that I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to start trying to rekindle a friendship if she is already lost, but I would like to help steer her away from the cult if she has not been swallowed by it completely just yet.

She is an incredibly smart person, unfortunately maybe too smart for her own good sometimes which I think is one of the reasons for her mental health issues. I feel very guilty about this, and have even had nightmares about her killing herself and me having to be the one to deliver the news to her family and our old friend group... I don't really know what to do, or even if I should do anything at all.

 

[Ed Special]

She is an incredibly smart person

Unfortunately, it's always, as far back as the very beginning of recorded history, people at the extremes of the bell curve who're most susceptible to be taken by cults - dullards because they don't know better, and geniuses because they mistakenly think they DO and drop their guards, or because their intelligence has rendered them socially inept and consequently vulnerable to social manipulation. Midwit normies may join, too, but the IQ curve in cults is almost always a bathtub curve, with women making the majority of the centers due to their increased susceptibility to social pressures.

Aum Shinrikyo/Aleph and Heaven's Gate represent cults for especially intelligent people. Historically speaking, their members were grossly overrepresented in high-education, high-skill fields like chemical engineering or computer science. At the other end, you've got shit like the Manson Family or the Ant Hill Kids - cults of dullards manipulated by a single especially charismatic, and severely insane, midwit.

Troonism and Scientology have a heavy mix of both. In Scientology, you see huge numbers of actors, theater kids, and other dullards who live and die by their social standing, sure, but you also see computer scientists, engineers, and architects. Troonism - well, of course, you've got the Chris Chans and Tommie Tooters, the ones who make you wonder how they made it to the age of fifteen without choking to death on their own drool, but you've also got so many super-genius CompSci dorks that the term "Programming socks" came into the zeitgeist YEARS before trooning was mainstream as a nod to the phenomenon.

In short, your friend wasn't able to be groomed into joining a self-mutilating death cult despite being a super-genius, she was able to be groomed into joining a self-mutilating death cult because she is a super-genius.

 

[Lovely Kin]

I am devastated. I know it's not a lot to go by, but I can't really appear after three years and go "hey, I noticed you were liking some troon shit on Instagram, are you retarded now?", so I feel that I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to start trying to rekindle a friendship if she is already lost, but I would like to help steer her away from the cult if she has not been swallowed by it completely just yet.

I really wish you the best. Steering them away has been impossible in my experience, you can discourage it, but when they put themselves into a hugbox surrounded by enablers, it's hard to pull them back out. If you try, try to approach them calmly, but at the same be blunt and honest about your feelings. Where I went wrong I believe was I came in way too strong.

 

[AfghanBlue]

Panic. Threatened to call when she pulled it again during another meltdown a day later, and have it set that I will do it again if/when it happens again.

I’m as angry with myself for that as I am sad that she had desisted but has relapsed into that thinking again. She has a good heart but she ran into the wrong crowd, so to speak.

TTD

You're only choice is to get in there before her, go mask off about how retarded this is, and give her divorce as an option to not bucking her fucking ideas up
If she sees that as the choice and how damaging this shit is it might get it through to her. If she doesn't, it's already lost and going the same way anyway. You might as well get the opportunity to say your peice first.

 

[TismFarmer]

Mild powerlevel but I have PCOS and had? Gender dysphoria, taking birth control, which is the general treatment for PCOS eliminated it. It's what made me become critical of transgenderism.

Spoiler: Powerlevel also

I've had lifelong gender dysphoria(aside, it was very strong as a Preschool child and got progressivly less important as the years went by) the only time that the dysphoria went away completely was when I was pregnant and it came back each time within months of giving birth. I, too, believe that gender dysphoria could feasibly be treated with correct-sex hormones. At least try it! it cant do harm, unlike the alternative.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Aren't there studies that show that antipsychotics have been successfully used to at least suppress gender dysphoria? Pimozide in particular?