Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[OnMeDick]

Whoa that’s hella rude don’t lump manatees in with PukeAss

Sorry, his body reminds me of one

ETA: I take it back, manatees are cuter

 

[Da Dude123]

These Lucas cooking videos show how inconsiderate Lucas is. Trying to cook all that shit in a toaster oven and probably not cleaning it up. It would be great if the shelter would tell Lucas he needs to clean that shit up or he is no longer welcome at the shelter. Boy, can you imagine the autistic screeching he would do if told that?

No consideration for the other people staying in the shelter or for the people who work there. It's all about Dr. Nigga Luke. Cooking seafood in a place like that is poor etiquette. Like if you have ever worked somewhere where someone microwaves fish in the breakroom for way too long. That smell lingers and smells awful to everyone but the person cooking it.

He is such a piece of shit.

 

[Coach McGuirk]

These "Shelter Chef Wern" video's have been my favorite in a while, he's very confident in his seemingly child like food experiments. It'd be almost cute, if he wasn't a narcissist with a history of abuse. I hope he keeps this up till he's kicked out, and I hope he at least bought his own tray, seeing how mangled it is now.

Edit: also I hope he at least offers to share with his hobo peers. We all know he doesn't but it'd be nice. Even though they're probably better of health wise not eating it.

 

[Da Dude123]

These "Shelter Chef Wern" video's have been my favorite in a while, he's very confident in his seemingly child like food experiments. It'd be almost cute, if he wasn't a narcissist with a history of abuse. I hope he keeps this up till he's kicked out, and I hope he at least bought his own tray, seeing how mangled it is now.

Edit: also I hope he at least offers to share with his hobo peers. We all know he doesn't but it'd be nice. Even though they're probably better of health wise not eating it.

I am thinking he is not sharing and I am almost positive that is not his tray. Also, not sure anyone else would want to eat what he is cooking. Even fellow homeless people are not that desperate. I guess this shelter does not provide meals?

 

[Rescuetoast]

He's utterly vile.

Can we assume, based on these gigantic portions, that even with his seemingly insatiable appetite, he must be sharing some of this food?

Or am I making the mistake of thinking that Lucas is a human again?

I just don't see eating a cookie sheet full of scallops. Like, I like shellfish, but that would make me bazooka-barf.

And let me just second the kiwi who wrote that, at the very least the woman who screamed "Quit burning food!!!", has got to be representative of the general sentiment around the homeless shelter that Lucas is abusing the community toaster oven privileges.

As others have said, that shit is for warming up TV dinners, maybe a burrito, maybe making some Ramen at the most ambitious.

It's not for playing "Homeless Gourmet" and then leaving giant scorched crusty messes for some poor volunteer to have to scrub at for hours.

God, he's a piece of shit. You just think there's no more facets to Lucas that disgust you that remain unseen, and then he unveils another one! It's amazing. He's like the hundred-sided-dice of shittiness.

Hey Lucas! Quit playing with your EZ-Burn Oven, bro! Not everybody wants to deal with the disgusting smells and messes you leave behind, you fat freak!

The only consolation here is imagining the look of consternation and confusion on his stupid gourd when they give him the boot, after he sets off the fire alarm for the 50th time.

I assume it’s all for him... simply because if someone offered you that mess, and also that someone was Lucas, would you eat it?
didn’t think so

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

It's been three days in a row now he's shown off his plenty good cooking skills to the other hobos, yet none of them have rushed up to yeet him a fecund bae in exchange for his nauseating toaster oven concoctions. Rage is growing inside his busted dome piece as he labors in front of a hot oven every night. He can't for the life of him figure out why he doesn't have a girlfriend. He's plenty good, he has a skill. He can cook things. He's ascended from chimphood to a mighty neanderthal who's harnessed fire to cook giant heaps of meat! Oh but try as he may the tantalizing smells of meat roasting aren't bringing gen Z baes 12 at a time to get impregnated by this plenty good provider of sustenance! Where are you gen Z baes?! Break free from the shackles of your flat bill oppressors and claim your rightful portions of pork steaks, scallops, and lobster no less! (Just make sure you have a mask on though otherwise you'll never be wifey material for Wern 2.0)

 

[mothman96]

I am thinking he is not sharing and I am almost positive that is not his tray. Also, not sure anyone else would want to eat what he is cooking. Even fellow homeless people are not that desperate. I guess this shelter does not provide meals?

That tray comes with the counter top oven. Even though it's called a baking tray I don't think it's meant to be used in "cooking" the way he's doing.

 

[Wernology]

Keeping his nasty food separate from his bitch boy whining.

Slow clap for bay scallops and what looks like Caribbean lobster tail, both of which are very cheap and, in no way, gourmet. The only way that lobster could be any less gourmet is if it were a lobster shell filled with imitation lobster meat. Great flex there, Lucas, great flex.

I like cheap seafood too but, damn, I'm not gonna try and flex over bay scallops and frozen lobster.

Edit: He provides me with the best goddamned thumbnails. This one goes on whatever BS he's been whining about between cooking poorly.

Oh, and he apparently gave an answer to why his mask is wet (I'm sure he'll claim it's a joke)...

 

[TurdFondler]

Holy fuck that's going to stink.

That's the worst fucking way to cook seafood. You are absolutely better off getting frozen fish sticks at that point because baking scallops and lobster in a shitty oven is going to be hella gross. Just the thought turns my stomach.

 

[Coach McGuirk]

That tray comes with the counter top oven. Even though it's called a baking tray I don't think it's meant to be used in "cooking" the way he's doing.

Thats the most reasonable explanation, but you can see the filthy tray get worse with every terrible cook. Part of me hoped Lucas had a bit of decency, but im a dreamer, so he probably is just infecting public use utensils with salmonella.

 

[Smolrolls]

Holy fuck that's going to stink.

That's the worst fucking way to cook seafood. You are absolutely better off getting frozen fish sticks at that point because baking scallops and lobster in a shitty oven is going to be hella gross. Just the thought turns my stomach.

kahahahahahahahaha...Ugh Lucas....what are you doing buddy... *laugh in chain smokes some more*

​

 

[one_time_user]

Per CDC guidelines, Lucas could qualify for Phase 1B. If not that, then Phase 2. No idea when Spokane will roll that out.

it may also vary state by state but I know that my state shelters are pushing (HARD and close to winning) that people who live in homeless shelters get various levels of medical treatment there and therefore technically qualify for round 1.5 (?) as long term residential care facilities. Because reality is that if covid takes hold in the homeless population shit is going to get real, really quickly.

 

[Wernology]

His non-food related screaming in the street. Enjoy the snot soaked mask that starts a couple minutes in.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

His non-food related screaming in the street. Enjoy the snot soaked mask that starts a couple minutes in.

Well that explains why his mask is so wet all the time, its just the spittle that accumulates after a long hard day of screaming into his phone

 

[LeeLoo]

I just can’t understand how he doesn’t have a girlfriend?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

His non-food related screaming in the street. Enjoy the snot soaked mask that starts a couple minutes in.

Observations: he says he's too good for grocery store sushi? Bitch, fuckin' brand-name cat food is too good for you. You're homeless, remember?

Also, this constant misogynistic puritanical oneupsmanship? As if everyone but him in the world is sexually tainted, when he's knocking on the door, begging to be let into the supposed orgy?

Bitch, you'd love to be slutty during COVID.

If You're good, we might let you lick the floor clean when the orgy's finished.

Can't be any worse than your 'Volcanic charbroiled scallops in a MRSA reduction sauce', cannit?

And YOU have the audacity to accuse womem of promiscuity with the ole "hotdog down a hallway" cliche?

Bitch, you and the tightest intact virgin is just about a Cocktail Pep in the fuckin' UNIVERSE.

 

[Wernology]

And YOU have the audacity to accuse womem of promiscuity with the ole "hotdog down a hallway" cliche?

Bitch, you and the tightest intact virgin is just about a Cocktail Pep in the fuckin' UNIVERSE.

The height of his delusion is thinking he could even compare to a regular sized hot dog in any way.

The hot dog is longer, wider, doesn't have MRSA, and people actually want to put them in their mouths.

Lucas is packing one of these, only his has MRSA sores and the accumulated filth of someone who only showers once every few weeks and doesn't wash his hands at any point in between instead of BBQ sauce:



Size is to scale.

 

[mero]

A light hearted entertainment break in the form of one of my favourite pieces of Wern content, courtesy of my rewatching of his old videos:

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

His non-food related screaming in the street. Enjoy the snot soaked mask that starts a couple minutes in.

Watching videos like this reinforces just how dumb, entitled and GREEDY Lucas really is. Biden has been in office 10 minutes and he is ranting about not having “free money” in his greedy little hands yet. And what is this ”back pay” he is jabbering on about? Lucas, you haven’t worked a day in 20 years! Back pay is money owed in exchange for labor already expended. If anything, you owe every cent you’ve been gifted by the taxpayers back with interest. And $20k for the year of “back pay” so he can eat well?

I’m glad I watch these at 6am before I go to work. I get MATI just enough before I realize I’m watching a video of a literal retard with the IQ of a bag of hammers demanding I had over even more of my money so he can eat Klinkerdagger’s for every meal.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Here's a good one.

Being really manic and obnoxious as hell while inhaling chicken.