Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[NattyDaddy]

Something, something, bad angles.

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Hahaha this fatties eyes an nose are bigger than his cock'n balls

 

[AbraCadaver]

"I want to take care of you" but the only example he can give is that he will cook for her, or if he's feeling too lazy for that, take her out to eat. It really is amazing how important food is to him, and how he feels that his ability to provide it (via EBT and other forms of welfare) proves he is a viable mate and masculine provider figure. No plan as to how he would provide a wife and kids with income, shelter, the basics of an independent life. And of course no concept that a woman might be looking for higher things in a relationship, like an intelligent soul who shares their interests, or a genuinely caring non-narcissist who she can have an equal and honest emotional relationship with, or a non-insane, mature man who can be a good father to their kids. It's been said before but he really does have a caveman mentality, "me give you meat, me fuck you now". Oh, and the combination of "#feminism" with "if you just want to chill and be pretty" is *chef's kiss*

He’s already stated before that he believes the government will provide for him, his wife and their child or children. When planning his future life with a family, he 100% factors in the idea that they will all live on welfare forever. He also toyed with the idea that his wife would work and he would be a “house husband” and clean or cook or sometimes, though his only ever girlfriend Suzanne complained that he never did chores, just sat around inhaling groceries all day while she worked.

He also stated children are easy to raise and the only babies who cry constantly and need lots of attention are ones in poor families. Never mind all babies do that. Never mind Captain Dole would also be in a poor family that’s supported entirely by the government.

Lucas sees himself as the “provider” of an extra government disability cheque, in return for which he demands sex, for his woman to work a job and for her to do most of the baby raising and chores.

As I’ve previously pointed out, Lucas wants a wife-mother to suck his golf ball sized dick, take care of everything in the house and all the money and feed Lucas, treating him like a giant fat baby and doing everything for him while he eats, shits his nappies and watches the television.

Also she will raise their daughter so that when WifeMum is too old and haggard at the decrepit age of 35 to be hot anymore, Lucas will have a young tween daughter to call him “daddy,” a notion he has stated before that he creepily enjoys. He will molest that child, no doubt.

 

[WonderWino]

I wouldn't make it a blanket statement.

ETA:
Oh man, this from the Freak who can't take of himself.
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'I want to cook for you'

Where exactly? The only place he has to cook is a ratty old toaster oven in a homeless shelter. Unless this is a 'i'll cook for you in your house, using groceries you bought, on your stove, and leave the mess for you to clean up'

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

admit my idiocy. Wernology is a cursed hobby, and every little bit of it diminishes me.

What's that saying about staring into the eyes of madness?

"I want to take care of you" but the only example he can give is that he will cook for her, or if he's feeling too lazy for that, take her out to eat. It really is amazing how important food is to him, and how he feels that his ability to provide it (via EBT and other forms of welfare) proves he is a viable mate and masculine provider figure. No plan as to how he would provide a wife and kids with income, shelter, the basics of an independent life. And of course no concept that a woman might be looking for higher things in a relationship, like an intelligent soul who shares their interests, or a genuinely caring non-narcissist who she can have an equal and honest emotional relationship with, or a non-insane, mature man who can be a good father to their kids. It's been said before but he really does have a caveman mentality, "me give you meat, me fuck you now". Oh, and the combination of "#feminism" with "if you just want to chill and be pretty" is *chef's kiss*

Yeah the problem is that The Wern actually believes he is all those things.
He is definitely under the impression that he is actually smart and intelligent, despite being objectively stupid (easily catfished because he doesn't learn, can't use his money wisely, can't do basic math, can't understand complex ideas); he has also shared the delusion that he would make a fit father multiple times before.
He has referred to himself as "mature", though like his aged cheese comments, this might just be him talking about how his age makes him superman.

 

[Wernology]

What's that saying about staring into the eyes of madness?


Yeah the problem is that The Wern actually believes he is all those things.
He is definitely under the impression that he is actually smart and intelligent, despite being objectively stupid (easily catfished because he doesn't learn, can't use his money wisely, can't do basic math, can't understand complex ideas); he has also shared the delusion that he would make a fit father multiple times before.
He has referred to himself as "mature", though like his aged cheese comments, this might just be him talking about how his age makes him superman.

I'm going to guess he doesn't know that cheese becomes inedible, rotten, and the bad kind of moldy if it's not kept properly.

No part of him has ever been kept properly.

He might be aged like cheese, but it's the sort you'd find after it got accidentally shoved to the back of the fridge and forgotten about for a couple of years and, by the time you realize there's a bag of something back there it's so covered with various non-cheese related molds and smells so awful you're not even sure what it is beyond being something that goes directly into the trash.

Same with cheap and/or badly stored wine, which is his other favorite: It turns into vinegar at best, and just rancid vinegar at worst.

Distilled liquor is less likely to go bad but, if not stored properly or if it was made using questionable methods it can certainly cause multiple organ failure, poisoning, and death.

Lucas is right that he's aged like all of those things, but not in the right way.

Realistically, he's aged like milk left out in the sun.

 

[BowlOfDick]

If this chick in the shelter is real (probs isn’t, at least not nearly in the manner Lucas describes) then we could be in for a decent saga here!

 

[Poop Shoot]

Rate me late to the turkey eating toilet party, but he was obviously eating in there because no one else wanted him to sit with them and he can't just park it in front of the toaster oven indefinitely.

He's too awful even for crackheads to stand, yet some sexy 18 year old is supposed to throw her life away on caring for a pet hobo.

 

[IceQueen]

In Lucas’s most recent video (he’s eating another toaster oven sandwich in the bathroom), his “friend” Isik comes up and Lucas says something about Isik never getting him a bae, and Isik laughs and makes some joke back, and then PukeAss LAUNCHES into a ton of back to back extremely racist “jokes” about Isik because Isik is Mexican. You know, his “friend” that apparently proves PukeAss isn’t racist. :-)

 

[WonderWino]

He's eating in the bathroom again. This time a 'toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich'

Cause theres nothing quite like eating something that looks like shit while standing 5 feet from a toilet that likely reeks in a homeless shelter

.......He also says he is learning about the composition of the cell.....so 8th grade biology then

and wtf he has isaac in the bathroom watching him eat. One has to wonder why isaac willingly went into the bathroom to watch lucas eat. While he is using lucas, its still a weird thing to do as part of it. Who follows somebody into the bathroom when they have a plate of food?? Dude must be a sped himself

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I don't think you're supposed to burn the bread to a fucking cinder.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

I’m all for a toasty pb&j but that looks like it has been roasted to within an inch of it’s life

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

Lucas is a fucking idiot so of course he doesn't realize you're supposed to toast both slices of bread on the rack first, NOT the entire assembled & stacked sandwich. (I guess you could flip it halfway but what a goddamn mess.)

0 critical thinking skills

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is a fucking idiot so of course he doesn't realize you're supposed to toast both slices of bread on the rack first, NOT the entire assembled & stacked sandwich. (I guess you could flip it halfway but what a goddamn mess.)

0 critical thinking skills

Yeah, AND the bread is melba toast-level crunchy, and the "toasted" peanut butter and jelly are just molten sludge.

Notice that Lucas doesn't waste a bite? He finishes every last bit.

I guarantee if he dropped it on the restroom floor, he would have eaten it just the same.

Also, can we all say that Lucas hates Isik now? He's recreated the sane relationship he had with Cyril, and now that Isik mocks him for his many mockable tendencies, Lucas badmouths him behind his back, but pretends to be friends to his face, probably mostly so Isik doesn't give him the slapping he so richly deserves.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Eating food in a homeless shelter bathroom.... wow Lucas you’ve outdone yourself this time!

 

[Iseecovidpeople]

Personally I’m looking forward to the impending saga.
Do I think there is an 18ish year old girl there that Lucas is smitten with?
Yes absolutely, it’s a drop in shelter so I’m sure there are quite a few teenagers like our man Isik.
I’m going to make a prediction
She’s going to use him for food and whatever else he may buy her. He’s not smart enough to NOT mention he’s picking up his check soon.
I predict she’s going to roll him, then she’s going to come back around food card time and roll him for that as well.
Then she’s going to roll him again next month.
I cannot wait for the impending “gen z are so greedy” rants that are coming.

 

[LeeLoo]

He’s already stated before that he believes the government will provide for him, his wife and their child or children. When planning his future life with a family, he 100% factors in the idea that they will all live on welfare forever. He also toyed with the idea that his wife would work and he would be a “house husband” and clean or cook or sometimes, though his only ever girlfriend Suzanne complained that he never did chores, just sat around inhaling groceries all day while she worked.

He also stated children are easy to raise and the only babies who cry constantly and need lots of attention are ones in poor families. Never mind all babies do that. Never mind Captain Dole would also be in a poor family that’s supported entirely by the government.

Lucas sees himself as the “provider” of an extra government disability cheque, in return for which he demands sex, for his woman to work a job and for her to do most of the baby raising and chores.

As I’ve previously pointed out, Lucas wants a wife-mother to suck his golf ball sized dick, take care of everything in the house and all the money and feed Lucas, treating him like a giant fat baby and doing everything for him while he eats, shits his nappies and watches the television.

Also she will raise their daughter so that when WifeMum is too old and haggard at the decrepit age of 35 to be hot anymore, Lucas will have a young tween daughter to call him “daddy,” a notion he has stated before that he creepily enjoys. He will molest that child, no doubt.

Fatty’s sense of entitlement, much like his perception that he’s physically attractive, is just so incredibly exceptional. Imagine being a sponge off society for so long, that personal responsibility isn’t even a thought in your mind. Why would I get a job, the government will just give me more money for my child. Why save for an apartment, when I have a child the government will give me housing. Food? Duh, the government will give me even more EBT.

He’s such a delusional POS. After his entitlement and warped sense of self, his hypocrisy is just amazing to behold. Proclaiming to be a feminist, while referring to women as “Gen Z woman and baby ships”. Telling a woman if she doesn’t want to work, she can just sit and be pretty. Where are those IG trolls?! I’d love to see Fatty get IG attacked again!

 

[mothman96]

Also, can we all say that Lucas hates Isik now? He's recreated the sane relationship he had with Cyril, and now that Isik mocks him for his many mockable tendencies, Lucas badmouths him behind his back, but pretends to be friends to his face, probably mostly so Isik doesn't give him the slapping he so richly deserves.

Lucas is a misandrist and racist. His "friendship" with men is based on wanting for the the guy to hook him up with a girl. Isik didn't yeet him a bae so of course Lucas is pissed and let his "true self" slip through.

 

[ThomasAudley]

Doesn’t he listen to music with his earbuds to drown out his schizo voices anyway? I think he got bullied out of the kitchen area

 

[Poop Shoot]

Ladies, if you give Lucas that juicy womb, you too could eat burnt sandwiches in a homeless shelter bathroom.

 

[Josef Mengele]

Yeah, AND the bread is melba toast-level crunchy, and the "toasted" peanut butter and jelly are just molten sludge.

Notice that Lucas doesn't waste a bite? He finishes every last bit.

I guarantee if he dropped it on the restroom floor, he would have eaten it just the same.

Also, can we all say that Lucas hates Isik now? He's recreated the sane relationship he had with Cyril, and now that Isik mocks him for his many mockable tendencies, Lucas badmouths him behind his back, but pretends to be friends to his face, probably mostly so Isik doesn't give him the slapping he so richly deserves.

I guess this is the culinary palette you expect from Chef-Boy-Meals-are-Free, "I will eat anything anywhere." It gives us a glimpse into Lucas' prehistoric mind, something you teach 6 year olds has eluded his grasp "don't eat things that have touched the floor", "if you can smell it burning, it is done", these are easy lessons, but Lucas adheres so strictly to the principle "food is meant to be eaten, I love eating" that he doesn't think about the negative consequences of how he is eating. I wouldn't be surprised if this moron is pulling gum off under restaurant tables and chewing it.